Literally the only person in the theater

>Literally the only person in the theater
>Some random guy just sits right next to me

List at least one life where this happens

so did you suck his dick?

He clearly didn't want to be hassled by the singles police you stupid fucking normie. If anything he did you a favor

How's it going buddy

He likes you, this is cute.

>ywn be 14 again
>he will never whip out his hot hog and make you suck on it

>only person in the theatre

How the fuck did you get in there in the first place? Your cinema can get fines a lot of money for not abiding the no singles policy

My cinema recently upgraded their X-Ray scanners to those new fancy 3D body scanners.

>be me at theater
>date is running late
>the "No Singles" guards with k9 units start making their rounds
>oh shit oh shit oh shit
>see some overweight guy in a deadpool sweatshirt sitting by himself on the verge of tears
>it seems he knows all too well what happens to a single caught at a movie theater
>to save us both I run and jump into the seat next to him just as the spotlights hit us
>both of us breath a sigh of relief
>movie starts but I see a light
>I glance to see him on his phone complaining on a Japanese knitting website that some random guy just sat next to him
>immediately stand up and turn him in for having a cellphone on during a movie
>mfw he will now spend 3 months in the iso-cubes

>want to see Rogue One
>remember about the new security checks
>reminded of my micropenis
>find a sausage in the fridge, put it in a sock and stuff it down my pants
>pick up the girl I'm trying to date
>go to theatre
>buy tickets, get funnelled to security check in
>Armed cops eyeing me, I'm sweating
>go through the scanner
>"BEEP BEEP BEEP"
>"Sir step over here"
>cop pats me down, gets to my penis
>"what is this sir?"
>don't know what to say
>he pulls his gun
>tells me to get on the ground
>i do, he proceeds to strip me
>pants off
>sausage falls out
>girl gasps
>underwear off
>everybody laughs at me
>glancing around tears in my eyes
>see girl sniggering and pointing at my micropenis

Why can't we go back to X-Ray machines?

>literally the only guy at the urinal
>some random guy just stands right next to me

if you wanna suck my dick, just ask

I hate this shit. I went to see Passengers the other day and some lady and her husband sat in the seats next to me despite plenty of room elsewhere. To be fair I was in the middle row, but I thought it was very odd. She kept going "Oooo!" during the exciting parts too which was annoying as fuck.

>No singles policy
>Som big black guy sits next to me and puts his hand across my face
>Can't do shit or else I get locked up for being alone in a movie theater

>go to movie
>arrive a little3 early
>literally the only person there
>get a good seat
>go to bathroom, come back
>another dude sitting next to my seat
>go back to my seat
>dude looks really uncomfortable
>realize he thinks i just decided to be creepy and sit right next to him
>mfw

>be sitting alone in theater
>half way through film, guy comes in and sits next to me
>coughs loudly
>falcon perched on my shoulder, startled, pecks his eyeballs out
>have to watch paramedics haul him out
>they keep talking all the way through the ending
>have to go back and watch it again

can I suck your dick, user?

yes

No

I don't know what to believe

Me on the left

Don't you want to talk during the movie?

That's me, the usher was escorting me into the theatre because I told the ticket seller I was meeting someone to avoid the singles policy.

Even with a friend there has to be a buffer zone.

>be me
>alone in theater
>group of girls show up
>I get annoyed
>they keep giggling then they sit next to me
>two girls on both of my sides while is behind me
>they keep trying to talk to me while Im trying to enjoy the movie
>they wouldnt stop touching me either
>kept asking to eat some of my popcorn I looked them like they were insane this was my popcorn bro
>When the movie ended one of them gave me their phone number and called me a cutie, me a little fucking 9 year old kid a phone number
>It took years for me to realize they were molesting me in the theater the whole time

I still get freaked out by it dead serious to the point where I literally cant sit next to any girl in a theater of my PTSD from the experience.

do you remember how old they were?