What a fucking good movie. For once something that's just pure fun

What a fucking good movie. For once something that's just pure fun.

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Is it kino?

Its the most kinoest kino to ever kinne.

Finally! Something I can just switch off my brain and enjoy. All the high cognitive activity I engage in throughout the day (walking, tying my shoes, not shitting myself), I just need a break, and dumb action is the best. Thumbs up if you agree.

Does baby need a diaper change

How about I give you a knuckle sandwich, Poindexter?

It's a very enjoyable movie.

BIG

Also, Mike Patton soundtrack

HORSE

COCK

Do I have cunt written on my forehead?

>Crank 3 never

What was in the red box?

Amen my nigga

I find it interesting that despite the pure bizarre anarchy I can really believe that these characters would do what they're doing. Because of who Chev is, it's totally reasonable that he'd do what he had to in order to survive (I mean he'd done it once before). Same with Amy Smart, having your bf disappear after fucking you in the middle of a crowded Chinatown street would pretty much demolish any sexual limitations you had so stripping would make sense.

My ongoing theory is that story isn't what makes a movie, it's the characters that you need to sell me on. Everything else you just build around that.

Fells bad man...did 2 bombed?

They need to fucking get on that.

>tfw you'll never get a 3D one where the gimmick is he has to take hallucinogens to keep himself from killing Amy Smart

>how does op justify eating shit?
>call it fun!

The biggest mystery of the entire show.

The script for Crank 3

I fucking wish...

fuck off reddit

that stunt at the end was awesome

better

I wish they'd made a nice sequel ;_;

cheesy as fuck

what thread do you think you're in?

I guess I'm not sold on the character in those clips

...

Would reccomend hardcore henry aswell!

Post ideas for the 3rd Crank Movie

>having your bf disappear after fucking you in the middle of a crowded Chinatown street would pretty much demolish any sexual limitations you had
Ok, THIS one is a virgin.

Machete

Crank3D

>hardcore henry
Based choice.
POV VR has such potential in the coming decade.

>No VR Crank

shieeeeeeeeet

>tfw when no 6"2' jason statham poisoned boyfriend to have his way with my boipussay to keep his heartbeat rate high to keep him from succumbing to chinese toxins

Now has to eat lots of food due to something that is making him burn calories too fast

How about the opposite, where he has to burn calories or else get dies of diabetes or some shit, I dunno.

too easy. if he's eating, he's also having to shit and be constipated, which is exactly what you need to counter his high energy

how about he has to cool himself off, because something in his body is heating up too fast

he has to get (You)s to stay alive

Chev Chelios is a legitimately great action hero. Its like Commando except way much faster and erratic. Crank 2 also works as a counterpoint for arthouse action.

Pain & Gain. It's the only the rock movie I've enjoyed watching.

>Pain & Gain.
This movie is quite rewatchable.
>Dat Tom Vu joke
youtube.com/watch?v=K853GykeGH0

>having your bf disappear after fucking you in the middle of a crowded Chinatown street would pretty much demolish any sexual limitations you had so stripping would make sense.

Lol wut, however

>My ongoing theory is that story isn't what makes a movie, it's the characters that you need to sell me on. Everything else you just build around that.
You're onto something here

Exactly OP. Its a 10/10 in my book because it knows what it wants to be, and hits that right on the goddamn head. Both the original and the sequel are straight up fun.

...

Now... go get yourself a Band-Aid...
and go get me fucking Chelios, cabron!

Pinche maricon el pinche Chelioooosss... no me mires wey!

I didn't want to just have Chelios as an example but I couldn't actually think how to put another example in there. Please forgive me user-sama

It occurred to me while I was watching Everybody Wants Some!! on a plane: there's NO story in that, yet it works because the characters are consistent and interesting. The shit that happens to them is just that: shit that happens. No real need for a plot, you're just hanging out with a bunch of dumb buddies.

You can see this in neo-noir stuff as well: a plot isn't the driving force, it's the people WITHIN the plot that really drive it. Big Lebowski and Inherent Vice are two of my favorite examples of this.

This movie is a fucking Looney Tunes cartoon. It's intentional, I know, but holy shit if that isn't just the perfect way to describe it.

>That fucking tokusatsu/Godzilla scene in 2

>Jason Statham
>6'2"
He's like 5'8"

>Thumbs up if you agree
you're wasting digits my man

>he hasnt seen The Rundown

Why didn't Eve just leave him after he found out he was a killer?
The movie is too unrealistic and the characters are just walking stereotypes

That scene came out of nowhere. Not even GTA can sneek some stuff like that. It made it look eventful. If Action movies are made absurd. Crank 2 is your thing. Watching it for the plot is the wrong way to watch it.

Drive Angry did it better

Kek. Upboated, kind sir! : )

kek

He needs to stay horny at all times but they kinda did that in the 1st movie

Or he needs to keep using drugs like xtc or acid or some shit

He has to keep getting dubs

Nobody is fighting...I love you Sup Forums
This is pure late night fun...or early afternoon.

The atmosphere of a crime neighborhood, and the funny characters and dialogue makes this movie great to me.

"I'd rather stick my dick in a blender." lol

I don't think so.

...

>for once

This is the best and only good video game movie ever made

this

there is Hardcore Henry instead

gtfb2ur 3hour long boring artsyfartsy shits

>Monica Belucci
hnnnggg

sexiest woman alive?

>wasted trips
>we'll never see Nuclear Chev walking around covered in bandages and burns for the whole movie

EL LAZO!!

I need it.

I like the part where the bad guy throws the baby out of the car

>just pure fun.
can i make a guess here and ask, "do you drink at least 2 monster energy drinks everyday and laugh at dark soul kills on youtube while shaking uncontrollably in your ass smelling gaming chair?"

>is on fire
>walks near the pool
>middle finger, grins and walk away

Crank is a good movie but Crank 2 is an exploitation masterpiece and a genuine GRANDHOUSE flick as opposed to that faux 42nd street trash Robert Rodriguez makes. It's low budgeted, innovative and doesn't give a fuck who it offends. I love every fucking second of it!!!FACT!!!

holy fuck this is great

In part 3, Chev is being tended to by his physician and girlfriend. Suddenly they're attacked by government goons who are after Chev. Turns out his survival factor is based upon the fact that his mother was a part of a military experiment to engineer super soldiers. She was receiving fertility treatment by the military because her husband was special forces and the super soldier program was being done in the same building.

Doc Miles was that person and wanted to impregnate a regular woman with one of these experiments and see how he develops in a real world environment rather than being raised by scientists. After the baby was born, Chev's father was killed in action and raised by his mom in Britain.

Miles kept tabs on Chev and eventually became his Doctor as Chev had become an assassin. Miles reveals all of this

This doctor is the one who rescues Chev and helps him search and find his girlfriend who is pregnant with Chev's baby. In the end they storm the citadel where Chev realizes his full power and Doc sacrifices himself but not before revealing that he was actually Chev's real father as he used his sperm to engineer the eggs implanted in Chevs mom.

Chev, girlfriend and baby survive and live happily ever after.

Characters need motivation otherwise there is no conflict which is what drives story. Characters just sitting around and talking doesn't mean shit unless they have an objective or goal while doing so. You could make an entire movie about four guys on a road trip, set in a car, and as long as the dialogue was funny it doesn't matter where they're going but they do need a destination. THAT is the point of story, to give a framework so characters have a reason to exist.

That's the point where the movie reached MASTERPIECE status!!!FACT!!!

Really, CRank 1 & 2 are basically GRAND THEFT AUTO 1 & 2. I find that these and The Raid 1 & 2 are the action movies I watch most often.

This is what Crank 3 should have been if Jason didn't come back. Feels like a spiritual successor.

could this work in real life?