The Best Jokes

come on Sup Forums give me your best racist, homophobic and sexist jokes you have

how many jews can you fit into a car?

2 in the front
3 in the back
and as many as you can in the exhaust

What's the difference between a nigger and a bucket of shit?

The bucket.

what is this? middle school?

Why are blacks so tall?


because their knee grows

What is the difference between a large pizza and a black man?

The pizza can feed a family.

I got a joke for you. Nigger PHd.

lame, it should be:

how many jews can you fit in a car?

2 in the fonrt
3 in the back
and a few thousand in the ash tray

What do you say when you see your TV hovering in the middle of the night?

Put the TV down you fucking nigger

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

Pizza's don't scream in the oven

Fuck Sup Forums and it's racist faggots but I love this joke.

Why are gays so good at moving? Their shit is already packed.

what do you call a barn full of niggers?

antique farm equipment

No it should be two in the front, three in the back , and none in the ashtray because the holocaust never happened

...

What's long, black, thick, and dripping cum?

Horse dick after it fucked another horse

longer one, but good

>dad, why do you say grandpa has a green thumb? his thumb doesn't look green.

>haha, son, it's just a saying. it means he is good at farming. like, when we say someone stealing is caught red handed, their hands aren't really red, they're black

First time I heard this one DESU

what's long and hard for a black man?
the 2nd grade

9/10 people polled enjoy gang rape

What are the three things you can't give a black guy?

a fat lip, a black eye, and a job

Why do gays like to wear ribbed condoms?

Better traction in the mud

What do you say when you see your refrigerator floating in the night?

Nothing. That is one big nigger

Why do seagulls have wings?

>to beat the indians to the dump

hahaha

Another version of that could be fifteen minutes of work before he punches a customer out at Popeye's and gets fired.

Kek

What do you call 5 Latinos, an Asian and a bunch if black people?

A lawn sprinkler. Spic-spic-spic-spic-spic CHINK niggerniggerniggerniggerniggernigger

have this copy pasta i made in december to troll Sup Forums
insane
unreal
you people....i just.....
i can't.
literally shaking right now.....
wow.....just. just wow. literally unbelievable.
ill never understand this......place.
it feels like
after the past 2 weeks i have been here it just seems to get worst and worst.....
blatant racism
child porn spam
animal abuse
anti semitism
holocaust denial
woman hating
homophobia
fat shaming
off topic adult cartoons
the list goes on and on.......
the n word literally hurled around like it was a casual insult......
are there even moderators to control this insane place??!!!
disgusting.....are you even "humans"? or just jaded pieces of SHIT??!!
i see why you people are callled the sewer of the internet....

So an Arab walks into a gay bar and shouts "free shots for everyone!"

Nigger and mexican are riding in the car. Who is behind the wheel?
Police officer

how can he get fired when he dosen't have a job user?

You can fit 100 if you throw a penny in the back seat

Why do blacks smell bad?
So the blind can hate them too

What do you do if you run over a black man?
Reverse

How do you get 3 fags on a bars tool?
Turn it upside down

How many straight Swedes does it take to change a lightbulb?
Both of them

Why do swedish police teams consist of a man and a woman?
To prevent on the job romances

allahu gaybar

Oh, sorry. When I said "work", I meant hustlin' a drug deal. Not that he was actually employed.

Offensive Chinese Food Menu
Fresh Every 2 7 Days
PEE YU PLATTER Clothes Pins Extra

HOO FLUNG POO Napkins & Raincoats Provided

SUC SUM TIT Children’s Special

YUNG POON TANG No Take Out Orders Accepted

LUNCHEON SPECIALS

SUM YUNG CHICK [$6 99] Different and Delicious

WON HUNG LO [$6 99] Chinese Meatballs

SUM DUM FUC [$9 69] Same – #1 But With Extra Sauce

CHU SUM TWAT [$16 99] Dinner – Parties Of 3 Or More

SUC MI PORK [$9 69] Chef’s Special

FUC YU MAN [$6 69] Specialty Of The House

DINNER COMBINATIONS Includes Smeg Roll & Fortune Nookie

GOO IN HAND [$9 69] For Those Dining Alone
GOO WEE CHICK [$6 99] Sloppy Seconds – No Charge
CUM TU SOON [$6 99] Order Early – These Go Fast
SUC MI WANG [$6 99] Traditional Chinese Meatloaf
SUM DUM CHICK [$4 99] You Get What You Pay For
FUC MEI SLO [$6 69] Not Available After 10PM
LIK MI CLIT [$6 99] A Delicious Lick Smacking Oriental Delicacy
CHO KON IT [$9 99] Not For The Light Throated
FUC SUM NOW [$6 99] For Those In A Hurry
WAI TU YUNG [$4 99] Not Available On School Nights
TUNG SUM CHICK [$8 99] A Taste Bud Tingler
SUM GULP CUM [$9 69] Low-Cal Diet Special

...

oh thanks for clearing that up man I was kinda concerned

What's 69 + 69?

Dinner for four

How do you blindfold a chink?

use dental floss

Why do pill bottles have cotton in them?

To remind niggers they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers.

How do you make copper wire?
Toss a penny between two jews.

What is the best part about muslim dating services?
They double as day cares when you are done.

>"where's that chinaman? he was supposed to get the supplies"
>china man pops out of a pile of leaves
>SUPPLIES!!!

here's my joke

liberals!!!!

haha #trump2016

ha.....ha.....ha... nice one user

A Mexican and a nigger are riding in car. Who's driving? A cop!

Why are niggers like sperm? Only 1 in a Million actually works.

>Why do pill bottles have cotton in them?
>To remind niggers they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers.

the superior version -
Why do black people hate aspirin?

Its white, it works, and you have to pick cotton to get to it.

What's common between Nike sneakers and KKK

Both makes blacks run faster.

A blonde and a brunette jump off the Empire State building. Who hits the ground first?

The brunette because the blonde stopped to ask for directions.

You're mama is so stupid she thought a quarterback was a refund.

What's worse than the Holocaust?

About 6,000,000 extra Jews.

Summerfag

Your'e mama's teeth so yellow "I can't believe it's not butter!"

JESUS CHRIST STFU

Whats the difference between a nigger with a job and bigfoot?

Bigfoot has actually been spotted.

Why are there so many earthquakes in California and so many blacks in New York

California chose first.

How many Jews can you fit in a VW bug?
While the official records indicate two in front, two in the back, and 6 million in the ashtray any impartial look at the data can only lead to the conclusion that the numbers are significantly lower.

You're so ugly user that when you were born the doctor slapped your fucking mother!

>fify

Did you hear about the jewish cheerleader?

she wanted her quarterback

>What is the best part about muslim dating services?
>They double as day cares when you are done.

don't get it

>What's the difference between a gay and a freezer?

The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out

I heard Jews are so cheap they try to hagge prices down at quarter machines.

here's my joke

trump!!!

haha #amiritefellowsjws? #controversialjokes #original

Q:how do you get 1000 babies into a phonebooth?
A:A blender
Q:how do you get them out?
A:A straw

kek

a bathtub works way better in that joke

/thread

I've heard that one fifteen times a day now for the last six months and still laugh everytime.

A French man, a Japanese man, and an American man have been captured on an island filled with a tribe of cannibals. The chieftain of the tribe approaches the three men with three knives.
He says to the captive men, "You're all going to die here, your skulls will be used as bowls, your bones to be used as tools, and your skin will be used as canoes. However, we will allow you to take your own life on your own terms."
He then offers each man a knife.

The French man shouts "Vive La France!" before slitting his throat.

The Japanese man kneels down and disembowels himself without saying a word.

The American starts stabbing himself repeatedly in every single place he could reach. In the shoulder, through the calf, in his sides, before finally collapsing from the pain.

The chieftain walks up to the American and asks, "Why would you kill yourself in such a painful fashion?"

And the American responds, "Fuck your canoes."

Child brides

What did one le nigger say to le other nigger?
Le nigger niggery nigger XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!1111!1!1!1!1!1!!!!!!!!!!

This thread has me like

...

dog bles :DDDDddDD

Guess what?

>Chicken butt

That's awfully similar to a joke in Bulgaria I've heard.

The three men and the tribe thing...

what's long, black, and smelly?

the unemployment line

what did he mean by this

>650x389
jesus user r u 4 real?

Little Johnny and a child molester are walking through the woods. Little Johnny says "please let me go, I'm cold, I'm tired, and I miss my parents." Child molester says "how do you think I feel, I'm the one that's going to have to walk back alone."

A mexican a french man and an American man are in a hot air balloon when it starts to go down they have to throw what they brought with them

The mexican says i have plenty of beans in my country and throws the beans out

The french man says i have plenty of bread in my country and throws the bread out

The american picks up the mexican and throws him out of the balloon

when the french man asks why he did that the american says i have plenty of mexicans in my country

What do you call a nigger in a pool?
A problem
What do you call 10 niggers in a pool?
A bigger problem
What if your pool is filled with niggers?
Dont worry there isnt any water left

Why do Jews have a such big nose?

Because air is free.

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo.................. original user

What do you call 50 dead faggots in a nightclub?
Not enough.

Isn't it funny that "feel the bern" was the campaign slogan for a jew?

Why do black jews have it bad?
Because they have to sit at the back of the oven.

the joke is:
what do you say when you see your tv floating in the night?

drop it nigger

I looked out the window and saw a nigger riding a bike. I got worried that it was mine, but I checked in the basement and he was still polishing my shoes.

due its already been told

Did you know Oprah and Tiger had the same nickname in highschool?

Nigger.

>when the french man asks why he did that the american says i have plenty of mexicans in my country

the next time you post this, leave this line off. it's funnier if you give your audience credit for having an IQ over 70.

that doesn't make any sense.

Small world!

hell an IQ over fucking autism

actually funny.

implying any of the other jokes are origanal

I was thinking the same thing. This thread is shit.

you have me there

Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican?
They steal all the green cards

Alternative punchline: A good start