World Cup penalty shootout between your arch enemies and your country

>World Cup penalty shootout between your arch enemies and your country.

Anything more nerver-wrecking than this and an actual Totaler Krieg?

When your girlfriend finds your dildo and you have to come up with an explanation in 4 seconds or less.

A) I got it for you.
B) It's my ex's.
C) I wanna get pegged by you, mistress.
D) You're a feminine penis away from being my dream woman so I had to compensate[doesn't work with Brazilian girls (male)]

Pick your poison.

>belated happy birthday

B also still works if it looks dirty

Just look at this 3rd world fat kid.

Neither, I told it was my mom's. Of course she's not my girlfriend anymore but the fun I had with it was nice.

As an English, please delete this

That pic is just a normal penalty not a shootout

> When I cross my slaggy fat 3rd world fingers "Meme Messi" will win the World Cup LMAO AYYYYYY

HHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHA

Ya're 3 years late Franz

penalties are always hype, i dont understand the hate

and you own a dildo why....

I don't own a dildo, since that happened I "used to". When I had my first gf I was pretty insecure about my penis size (later I learned it's about the average size but when you are 16 and you have only watched porn, you think you are a midget) and everything we did was in the dark, so I thought of fucking her with a dildo while masturbating, and so I did it. When I broke up with her I retired the thing but left it to dust on my the top of my wardrobe, and then many years later another ex wanted to get a fan, I told her it was on the wardrobe and she found it.

wait, wait.

so your girl never found out that she was being fucked by a dildo in the dark?

LOOOL

She did, because she was a virgin but the first time I did it, it was the real thing, but every single time after that, it was the dildo. So when she asked me why it felt different, I told it was because she wasn't a virgin anymore.

What?

Lmao I thought you had a dildo because you enjoyed it in the ass but this is even funnier

this can't be real holy shit
reminds me of this screencap i took a few years ago and turned into oc

yo.....

ayo hol up

not for England, they already know they're going to lose if it comes to pens

Its like giving a monkey a loaded dildo

>the municipality of hue

ta de brincadeira ne filho da puta

They are whiter than you, Yussuf

just

Otimo Post meu amigo

>and you own a dildo why....
Yeah, what possible reason would there be to own a dildo... Truly the conundrum of our times

What a thread 2bh, based hue

how many dildos do you think tsu has on his basement?

hmmmmmm. not sure what to think here

This semen slurping sport isn't for me

good post

Brazil was a mistake desu

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with Brazil?

Like, the women are hyper-sexual goddesses.

Then the men are just pathetic. Like, I've never encountered or heard of a Brazilian dude who was alpha and macho (except maybe the guy on Chef's Table). The disparity is weird.

It's a nation of cucks.

That's why they love fucking trannies.

wow I have a gf

well done son

Fuck you needle dick

It would have been less fucked up if you had just told us you took it up the arse.

trannies are still women tho

t.favela rat.

what. the fuck.

t.chinless wonder.

O que a fodendo foda, anão

glad I'm a virgin and don't have to deal with this shit

replying to ebin BR babaquice/zoeira

Tá de brincadeira, brother.

we are a very serious nation

and so are we, tugas never speak zoeira

>uma dildicia

Was this a joke?

fellow hue here, 90% of the men here do this, but it's too afraid to admit

TSUUUUUUUUUUMA DELICIA

he forgot the batteries on the first try

yeah this, was pretty funny when i was talking with my father why he had a dildo in his drawer

You spend too much time on Sup Forums. Brazilian men are alpha as fuck. Try going to the beach in Rio, or in the Southern states like Santa Catarina. They're full of 6'4" dudes that will make your skinnyfat pale ass look like a different species.

Source: I had a Brazilian girlfriend when I was 16-17. Went and visited her in Brazil and realized I better start lifting

Bitches in Rio are hot as fuck

>I told it was because she wasn't a virgin anymore.

>You spend too much time on Sup Forums. Brazilian men are alpha as fuck. Try going to the beach in Rio, or in the Southern states like Santa Catarina

The South only have gay people and whores, you know that right?

user, I.... I don't even know... what the fuck...

the wealthy parts of rio are obsessed with fitness, practically a gym at every block.

nah for real?

i dont believe you guys.

Yeah, I've dated Brazilian, Colombian and Ecuadorian girls. Brazilian was the "hottest" but tied for biggest whore along with the Colombian. Girls in Rio and Florianopolis were the hottest I've ever seen.

The coolest BRs I knew were from the South

I believe it, the city seems to be completely obsessed with looking hot as fuck because you're outside/on the beach/in the sun 24/7

well i have no idea if every one does this, but my father recently passed away and he gave away his dildo to me

that's nice
my dad made me bury him with his dildo inside his pants so his bulge would look bigger at the funeral
he was such a cheeky cunt lmao,love him

nice.

did you guys retrieve the dildo after tho?a family dildo is pretty expensive, at least here in Brazil

Thread has taken an even darker turn

of course i wouldn't let a perfect dildo rot away on my dad's dead balls

...

/r/ ing the pepe where its that guy eating the monkey soup

sopa de dildão
uma delicia

thank you based macaco

here you go senpai

hueposters are the only reason I keep coming to this shit hole.

my fucking sides user kek

...

Zero. He reminds us repeatedly of how much he likes women.

Can't wait for France to beat our arch-nemesis Belgium in WC semifinal

never experienced something like that desu because my country always wins versus "arch enemies"

>tfw no argie gf

kek good bless you Sup Forums

thank you Brazil

holy fucking shit my sides
why is it always brazilians?

200 million heads constantly exposed to too much sun, humudity and lost home world cups.
Alexander's India Campaign: the People

...

...

Very good thread.

delet brazil

are we rivals?

has this been on r/Sup Forums yet?

Dee Dee, we're going to the moon.


TONIGHT.

...

anons here are laughing at you but they don't know the struggle. I didn't buy a dildo but I did buy a cock sleeve (penis extension) my dick went from 13cm to 19cm in length. Everytime before sex I would go to the bathroom and put the sleeve on. Thankfully she didn't notice it, or if she did she was quiet about it. The real problems were when we were in a car or just out and about and she wanted to fool around. So I bought another smaller one that I could put in the glove compartment. That one she found and I told her it was a b-day present from friends. That's where I fucked up since she knew that I didn't have any friends who would give me such a gift. We broke up some months later (last year) and now I have two cock sleeves that I don't know what to do with.

this was a korean comic, I remember it

joke on you, >we don't have an arch enemy

my favorite poster so far today. keep it sempaõ you'll end up in my diary

>Feelsbadman.png
>tfw you are from shit footy country and you don't even have an arch enemy in football.

On the other hand it's always nice to win against Italian twats.