Luke did I ever you the tragedy of Darth Plagueis "the wise"? I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you...

Luke did I ever you the tragedy of Darth Plagueis "the wise"? I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life... He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. It's ironic he could save others from death, but not himself.

Other urls found in this thread:

is.Sup
starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Darth_Maul's_Party_Town
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

Reading this just emphasizes how goddamn stupid the prequels are

But was he a good friend?

Is it possible to learn this power

How so? Explain your reasoning.

Not from a big guy

Not from a Big Guy.

Luke, did I ever tell you about Doolb Snoil?

Born on the planet Nal Hutta, his grandfather had been a diplomat who was involved in negotiations with the Galactic Republic, and his father was presumably also involved in legal work. Snoil had attended a legal university on Mrlsst. He had then become an apprentice in the Gevarno Cluster. By the time of the Clone Wars, he had developed a reputation for having one of the top three or four legal minds in the Republic, and was a member of the Coruscant College of Law.

Snoil met Obi-Wan Kenobi when the Padawan saved him from a clan rebellion on Rijel-Twelve in 33 BBY. As a result Snoil could not mate because Kenobi might have requested his help: no respectable Vippit female would enter into negotiations with one who might be called off by a third party without warning.

Around 22 BBY, Snoil was assigned to assist his friend Kenobi, who was now a Jedi Knight on the rise of becoming a Master, with negotiations between the Galactic Republic and Five Families of Cestus Cybernetics on Ord Cestus concerning the production and sale of new Jedi killing droids. However, when saving Kenobi from a rogue droid, a stalactite fell on him from a great height and killed him.

He was a good friend.

is.Sup Forums.org/wsg/1484019664914.webm

I fucking hate cliffhangers.

Not from the lowground

>1. Hit the "Random article" button on wookieepedia
>2. Copy entire text
>3. Add "Luke, did I ever tell you about" + pagename at the beginning and "He was a good friend." at the end
>4. Shitpost relentlessly on Sup Forums
>5. ???
>6. Profit

>Anakin, let me tell you about the tragedy of darth plagueis the wise. Only the sith know this legend, oh and also I know it somehow. I'm totally not a sith.
>Anakin, did I ever tell you about how the Jedi are evil and corrupt? The sith are really good by the way.
>Anakin did you know that your wife is going to die and only the power of the sith can save her? Just saying.
>Anakin how the fuck have you not figured out I'm a sith lord yet?

Was Anakin legit retarded?

you may not like it, but this is what peak shitposting looks like

Well he did choke out his own wife and murdered kids because some old guy said "le trick you XD"

I'm getting Deja Vu. Get this copypasta outta here

If you fall for the meme and get a nursing degree

Banemind

>"A SHIT LORD?!?!?!"

wtf I took my kids to see this

Luke, did I ever tell you about Doug Beason, author of When the Desert Wind Turns: The Stormtrooper's Tale, a short story in Tales from the Mos Eisley Cantina? He was once a Jedi, but then he achieved CHIM and began to rewrite reality. Fortunately for us, his powers were stripped away by an even higher authority. Have you noticed that reality does not match up with your memories, Luke? This is called the Mandalorian effect. I will teach you about it later. It's a good friend.

Luke did I tell you your grandma got fucked to death by Tuskens?

The light/dark side debate isn't good vs evil, it's morality verses amorality. Universalism verses relativism. Kant vs Nietzsche. The aesthetic of evil is just adopted opportunistically. The Sith simply don't recognize the dichotomy between good and evil, they don't see the force as being a thing with a will. When they speak of the power of the dark side they are talking about the power of the self as opposed to the Jedi, who focus on the force as a phenomenon of the universe and a power which has a will, which must be followed.

If you pay close attention, George never actually advocates for one over the other. The prequels are the story of the Jedi being destroyed by their inability to understand one another as individuals. Nobody 'got' what was going on with Anakin and that was what destroyed them. The OT is the story of this radical individualism unraveling when you have Luke, dressed in black, transcend the dichotomy by being both a paragon of Jedi virtue (refusing to disobey his principles, unlike Windu who was willing to assassinate an unarmed enemy) as well as that of the dark side (doing it because of his strong love of his father, a familial love alien to the Jedi which Anakin wanted so badly in the wake of his mother's, then his wife's death).

>Luke, did I ever tell you about Darth Maul? He was Sheev's apprentice before Dooku and your father that used a double-bladed lightsaber. He fought against me and my master Qui-Gon on Naboo, and managed to kill him. Fortunately, even though I was still a Padawan I managed to cut him in half by taking advantage of the fact that he didn't know how to use the High Ground. However, it turned out that his hate somehow allowed him to survive getting cut in half and falling down a bottomless pit, and he somehow managed to escape from Naboo and become a cyborg spider on some other planet. Years later, during the Clone Wars, his brother Savage Opress found him and upgraded his cyborg legs. They went on a rampage across the Galaxy, trying to get revenge both on me and his former master Sheev. It's such a pity that he never told anyone that Sheev was a Sith Lord, that would have saved us a lot of trouble. They eventually took over Mandalore and killed the only woman I had ever loved right in front of me. After that I kind of lost track of him, not sure what became of him. I hope he's doing well, he was a good friend.

WHERES THE GOOD FRIEND CCUUCCKK

Luuke, did I ever tell you about Dexter Jettster? He was a male Besalisk with a colorful background who lived on the planet Coruscant and was the owner of Dex's Diner.Serving mostly hard workers from the area, the diner offered home-style cooked meals and freshly brewed ardees ("Jawa juice"). He was a good friend

>Luke? Luke, wake up. Did I ever tell you about Darth Maul's Party Town? Darth Maul's Party Town was a spot set up in 32 BBY in the outskirts of Mos Espa, a city on Tatooine. The Sith Lord Darth Maul established his Party Town next to Queen Amidala's Royal Starship. Maul himself was using his lightsaber as a limbo bar for Captain Quarsh Panaka. After Jinn arrived, Maul launched into a duel with the Jedi.

>mfw it's real

starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Darth_Maul's_Party_Town

>This article is non-canon within the Star Wars Legends continuity.
This article covers a Star Wars Legends subject that was published under the Infinities label or that Lucasfilm otherwise declared to be non-canon within the Legends continuity.
>Darth Maul's Party Town appears in the 2012 young readers book, LEGO Star Wars: Darth Maul's Mission, a humorous re-telling of Star Wars: Episode I The Phantom Menace.
Sup Forums truly is a no-fun allowed zone.

At least they tried to expand the lore.

Watch out for that vicious bounty hunter Boba Fett, Luke. Did I ever tell you about his father? He was hired to assassinate a senator that me and your father were guarding. We kept bringing her around open windows and public areas in order to draw her wouldbe assassin out, but his cunning surprised even us. He had used his payment to hire another bounty hunter to kill the senator for him while he sent us on a wild goose chase. And then that 2nd assassin used her payment to buy a robot to assassinate the senator for her. Did I mention the 2nd assassin was a shapeshifter? She could have been a good friend in disguise for all we knew! Where was I? Oh yes, then that robot used its payment to buy poisonous bugs to release into the senator's room while she slept, after lasering a hole through the window. It could have just lasered her because we we weren't watching her at all, but it as not a good shot. So we sense the hostile life forms in the room and rush in and save the senator in the nick of time! Then I jumped out the window to chase the robot back to its owner! Luckily it didn't have a self-destruct function. Then we found the 2nd assassin and chased her across the planet, and caught her when she tried to kill us instead of shapeshifting and escaping. But to our surprise, Jango Fett was watching the whole thing instead of going to kill the senator while we were away chasing the bugs chasing the robot chasing the shapeshifter. He shot her with a poisonous dart instead of sniper blaster, and only her instead of shooting all of us or blowing all of us with a rocket or something, then he escaped with his dumb jetpack. Mace Window killed him later, right in front of Boba. Mace was a good friend. Boba is a bad friend.

>where you even go for poisonous bugs in a city so highly militarized in addition to hazardous for all but manlings and droids remains a mystery. Maybe if you know what to ask for at Dexter Jettster's 80's themed diner, he might point you to the Republic secrets next to the Bantha Burgers and you could buy some for yourself.

>Savage Opress
everytime

Yes. Seriously.

>not a good friend
There are only two parts of this meme that you have to nail, and you somehow fucked up part two.

Wew lads.

>Luke, did I or anyone else ever tell you about how to get pussy? No, I don't suppose anyone did, you pathetic virgin. You were too busy going to Toshi station with your friends. I bet your golden candy assed droid has gotten closer to a vagina than you. Couldn't you at least have seen a hooker in Mos Eisley or gone to a party at Jabbas's palace, they have some real sluts there. But no, you were too busy bulseyeing womprats instead of bullseyeing some hot wet snizz, the moisture of which was especially valuable on that dry ass planet you lived on. So now you're riding from the deathstar with a beautiful princess and you keep getting AMOGed by a man who I suspect has unnatural relations with his wookie companion. You make me sick, pussy.

KINO