Its a truman jerks off to his ex girlfriends voicemail and lies in bed crying with dried seamen on his chest episode

>its a truman jerks off to his ex girlfriends voicemail and lies in bed crying with dried seamen on his chest episode

>its the turman takes too much acid, over analyzes his existence and slits his wrist in the bathroom on mother's day episode again

>dried seamen

>ex gf
Fuck off normie

>it's a Truman lances his pilonidal cyst with a sewing needle and passes out from the pain and smell of puss for a few minutes episode

Now there's an idea, I was wondering what to watch on Youtube - cyst videos!

Thanks, bruh

dontdothat.jpg

I can and I will.

>its a truman decides to drink for 6 hours then pretend it's not gay to talk to lonely younger men about sucking their cock because they're probably feminine looking

>it's a Truman spends 11 hours jerking off to Tara Tainton videos, but refuses to watch a video where she actually gets fucked episode

>where she actually gets fucked
Does she even have any?

There's some older videos floating around where she fucks her bf. I think she was trying to be a legit pornstar before she started doing her usual videos.

>It's a Truman promise to himself that tomorrow will be different. He will find a job and finally move out of his parents house while going to bed at 4 am. He wakes up at 12am spends the whole day on youtube and his vietnamese cuisine forum.
Holy fuck can't the writers come with something else already? after Truman lost his job there have been at least 7 months of the same shit.

>it's a Truman feels like a degenerate for jerking it to scat again

We sent agents to his vietnamese cuisine forum to try to convince him to get his life in order but he keeps calling them "normies"

>it's a Truman can't orgasm with a woman no matter how long he has sex but takes five minutes to climax with his hand episode.

well, yeah that's pretty gross

>its a Truman falls asleep while crying and jerking off to the girl he's too scared to talk to episode

Everyone is talking about themselves right? I don't get this thread.

Right? I wish Truman would stop...

damn I wish I had this problem.
I can't last more than 20 seconds with a woman.
Stop fapping for a while before having sex and it should help..

haha what no, weird dude, don't project

>it's a Truman spend the early morning calling out ledditors that are invading his favorite favorite chinese cartoons forum but telling them to go back

>Truman spends 30 hours straight coding his newest hentai VN.
>That four hour portion where his shitbottle began to overflow and he had to tie a shirt over his nose/mouth to avoid gagging.

Why am I still watching this literal shit show?

I don't even think it's because of masturbation desu I think I just have low testosterone. I have to go around a couple weeks before I'm horny enough to cum with a woman. Used to I'd fap at least once a day because I was bored but I've cut that down and am trying to nofap for as long as possible to see if that helps me

Are you sure you aren't watching the Pajeet show instead?

>It's a Truman isn't doing anything for New Year's Eve and his parents keep pestering him about it and saying that he should arrange something with his friends, eventually Truman snaps and tells them that he asked his former friends and none of them wanted to do anything with him, leading his parents to start treating him nice and constantly ask him how he's doing, just sending Truman spiralling even more into a depression, and come new year's eve when he's all alone in the house whilst his parents and brother are out having fun he tries to distract himself from his nagging thoughts of suicide by watching some shitty movie but gets distracted half way through so he then takes a bottle of vodka he was saving for a special occasion and goes for a long walk and ends up at a sheer cliff over the ocean drinking the vodka and daring himself to stop being such a selfish coward and just fucking do it and save everyone the trouble, however Truman's innate fear of death get's the better of him so he simply finishes the bottle and passes it crying, after which the next morning when he arrives home at 11am with a seering hangover and ruined clothes expecting his family to be worried about him he instead finds them congratulating him on having found a party to go to at the last minute, a fiction which Truman is glad to keep up as it saves him from having to confront his mental illness episode

To be, or not to be--that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles
And by opposing end them. To die, to sleep--
No more--and by a sleep to say we end
The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to. 'Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep--
To sleep--perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub,
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life.
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
Th' oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of th' unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovered country, from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprise of great pitch and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry
And lose the name of action. -- Soft you now,
The fair Ophelia! -- Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remembered.

I can relate to how Truman feels when even his parents are out having fun on New Years while he stays inside all alone

Does anyone else feel guilty watching this? I mean, the few times he's tried getting help the producers just send some actor who isn't equipped to deal with Truman and it just makes for an awkward, pathetic episode.

>tfw i've had a pilonidal cyst

So much blood, so much puss, the smell was so fucking overwhelming. The temperature in the room felt so much hotter.

>tfw lancing it

>it's a truman gets worried about his increasingly foul body odor episode

>the season where Truman quit showering or brushing his teeth

What the hells wrong with this guy?

>it's a truman starts believing duncan trussel about atlantis, spirit beings and the nibiru so he overdoses on peyote and is awoken by a hiker naked in the desert

>It's a Truman tries to check his emails but sees there is one from the university so he has a panic attack and shuts off his browser without reading it episode

>it's a Truman can't answer the phone due to overwhelming social anxiety so he has his mom do it instead episode

>it's a Truman binges on Alex Jones podcasts until 5am episode

>it's a truman fakes a handicap to get out of a parking ticket but all of the actors are in on it and he gets the ticket anyway

>its a truman gives himself a prostate orgasm with a sharpie and it feels amazing but promises to himself that he'll never do it again episode

>its a Truman watches an award show and spends the next couple of days fantasizing about his acceptance speech

>it's a Truman relieves his stress by recording himself going on a 27 minute racist tirade episode

>it's a Truman stops going to the uni and tells himself he'll study at home but instead he jerks off every 30 minutes and watches the same idubbbztv videos he's seen 10 times already

>the season finale when truman actually gets his life together, gets a $50,000/year job, and moves out of his parents house

>it's a Truman watches the same show again and again episode

>$50,000/year job
>good

I make $70,000 a year and I still feel like a beta piece of shit. You should really set your goals higher.

$50k/year is pretty decent for a single guy that knows how to manage his finances

It's a Truman ponders the metaphysical implications of the reality he exists in where innocent children/people are born only to suffer and die and consequently despairs and contemplates suicide episode.

>it's a truman tells his friends his only life goal is to steal a boat and declare himself a pirate because he doesn't have any conventional motivations whatsoever and when they laugh he tells them he's seriously gonna do it someday but he's really trying to convince himself because he knows he doesn't have the balls even for a single minute episode

>wanting higher taxes and no benefits
L O L
O
L

>no benefits
wew

you sub-$40k cucks have a lot to learn

>that hilarious running gag where truman wake n bakes in secret before work then thinks he left his bong lying out in the open by mistake and speeds home in the car to hide it so his family doesnt find out only to get home and see he was so high he allready put it away but forgot
>those double episode specials where truman gets high, drinks and illegally drives and the extras clear the roads so he doesnt crash
>that scene where truman gets high and gets chased by that fake bear which was obviously just a producer in a bear suit

>it's a Truman skypes with a girl he met on omegle and had been messaging with every day and fucks it up by being his usual anxious autistic self episode

Hate that episode, it was on tonight

>Its a Truman cuts off contact with his ex gf for the second time this season because he feels like hes only keeping her around for easy pussy and sets out to go pull some fresh sluts only to realize that he doesn't nor did he ever have the skills to pull anything and that the only reason he got with his last gf was becsuse she made most moves so upon thisbrralization he consumes dangerous amount of porn and escapist media episode

>that season Truman skips leg day and starts looking completely lopsided.

>It's a Truman lets out a fart at a dinner party and follows through but it's too awkward for anyone to say anything

>it's a Truman is trying to block his feelings episode
I hope he makes it, he sually cares too much and gets crushed all the time.