Sup Forums tries to guess how the plot of certain movies would had turned out in real life

Sup Forums tries to guess how the plot of certain movies would had turned out in real life.

>home alone
>robbers kill the kid

Matt Damon would had been jobless and girlfriendless at the end of Good Will Hunting because any therapist he tried talking to would had been a woman that is an expert in the theory of therapy but unable to whip his ass into shape.

>rugrats in paris
>kids are sold into sex slavery by muslims

>The Martian
>Matt Damon is stranded on Mars
>Tries to construct a water reclaiming system to water his plants
>Turns on flame
>Explosion
>Matt Damon is literally a red goo all over the martian surface

>Bourne Ultimatum
>Safehouse

>Mainstream media never would had reported the documents turned over to them

>Gravity
>Sandra Bullock would had died at least 6 times

>Schindler's List
>didn't happen

>goodburger
>mondo burger engineers a sauce of equal flavor to Ed's secret sauce and goodburger continues their spiral towards bankruptcy

>Inglorious bastards
>They never leave the US because Ashkenazi Jews couldn't fight their way out of a wet paper bag

>Fury
>several of the main characters would had died when a shell from the german tank didnt ricochet off the american's tank but exploded instead

>The Departed
>Jack Nicholson's "mafia" of six old men gets BTFO by a gang of 100 niggers, arabs or latinos

> Jurassic Park
> all dinosaurs are robots or holograms.

>The Force Awakens
>Main characters definitely would had died when the millenium falcon crashed
>dont even give me that bullshit that the force helped guide Rin, she didnt know how to pilot

>Jumanji
>Robin Williams is trampled by a herd of zebra and eaten by a rhinosaurus

>idiocracy
>literally nothing is different. It's happening.

more like

>schindler's list
>a michael moore documentary about why conservatives are to blame for typhus outbreaks in europe and the US

>American History X
>Derek goes to prison and comes out hating niggers even more.

>Intouchables
>nigger beats and mugs the quadriplegic and rapes the blonde lesbian and rest of the movie ist the rest of the whole dindu -cycle

>Planet of the Apes
>They took over Earth because Obama pardoned them

>the martian
>NASA covers up that Damon is still alive and lets him die instead of wasting massive resources to save him

>black hawk down
>1000 somali niggers get slaughtered

Oh wait it happened

>would had turned out
is this a correct phrase? shouldn't it be rather like
>would have turned out
please explain lads

>up
>old man never even flies, goes to court for hitting that guy and loses his house and memories

this. why would he not become the leader and continue banging that strangely hot short haired broad.

>Green mile
>nigger actually did it

Has anyone seen the movie "American Sniper?" From the way liberals talk about it, it sounds like a movie that glorifies war. I have not seen it but in real life, the guy would had come back disturbed by what he had seen, his marriage would had collapsed and he'd live a sad life of depression.

>Saving Private Ryan
>germans are either 14 or 55 years old.

>Look who's back
>hitler is imprisoned for impersonating hitler

>Der Untergang (The Downfall)
>Hitler wins

>Elysium
>The 3rd world hordes of Earth flood Elysium and soon it too is a shithole just like Earth

>Rhinosaurus

>idiocracy
>no white people

>Doctor Doolittle
>thrown into an insane asylum, forcibly medicated for repeatedly claiming to be able to talk to animals

yeh, i butchered that one haha

>Pocahontas
>white people would had met indians in terms of peace and attempt converting them to christianity
>indians would have attempted slaughtering them
>Indians BTFO

then would have been prescribed SSRIs and shot up some professors.

>Fury
>The final battle would have lasted approximately 20 seconds as a fireteam moved to the flank with a Pz.Faust.

>assuming they even got to the final battle as Tiger tanks were fully equipped to pivot turn

How is that called Untergang / Downfall in Sup Forums logic?

honestly i doubt any rich quadriplegic wouldn't have armed guards around the house
either he'd get his ass escourted out before his welfare papers were signed, or he'd call his buddies and rob the place at night

>Trumbo
>really was a commie

Oh wait, that actually happened

>Hoover
>27,000 pages of reports with undeniable evidence MLK was a commie
>liberal judge orders these files locked up to protect MLKs image

Oh wait, that happened too

also
>88mm cannon
>deflecting
you'd have to fuck up the shot angle pretty bad to do that

His blood would still be blue because there's no oxygen on Mars.

>Forrest Gump
>kid dies at 4 to HIV
>Forrest contracts HIV as well implying Jenny had any interest in him beyond age 8

them OP be a nigger and him be talking ghetto speak senpai

>inglorious bastards

well it was based off an actual mission though

Well desu Shermans were welded, and it hit on the side where the side armor meets the front armor on an angle, it is not entirely implausible.

The effective armour right there were pretty thick - Had it hit in center of Sherman it would have been toast.

Or do I mistake the infantry attack against the forest position with a shot from the actual Tiger later?

Been a while since I saw that movie, can only remember a deflect from a PAK

Because skinhead chicks are fucking nasty dude.

>Harry Potter
>Main villain would had been more than just "ZE OMG WIIZARD HITLER"

I hope your post is just bait.
You don't really think blood is ever blue right?