CRUNCH crunch crunch... CRUNCH crunch crunch crunch

>CRUNCH crunch crunch... CRUNCH crunch crunch crunch...

>riiiip clackclackclack... CRUNCH crunch crunch

>kr-pop.. hisssssssssssssssssssssss

>sluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp.... sluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=4Hi_psu4mlM
youtube.com/watch?v=bT_roTh0Fbo
youtube.com/watch?v=wKnbTGMvndo
youtu.be/xoJDrbWtma4?list=PL7AA46E25F40D5EF4&t=289
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

You have social anxiety disorder.

>no BRAAAAAAAAAAAP

not very realistic sound effects

Popcorn should be banned in theaters. You're not in your fucking living room.

>WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

>always get a large drink
>gotta piss about an hour into the movie
>get up when a woman starts talking
It generally works out

BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP

I love creating jobs

>think I hear someone throw up
>almost have a panic attack and run out of the theater

XDD upvoted !


haha this is why I come to Sup Forums/tv/!

>go watch rogue one
>some fat beard guy sits next to me
>I can hear his nose whistle through the whole movie

>click
>clak-clank
>BOOM hisssss
>clack-clack
>BANG BANG BANG
>AAAH HEEEEELP HE'S GOT A GUN
>BANG
>AAAAAGGHHH MOM DAD ARE YOU OK?
>BANG BANG
>uuuughh... i don't wanna die...
>RATATATAT
>AAHHH IM HIT... SO CLOSE TO THE DOOR... uhhh... i can still crawl out- BANG

clean it up, wageslave

>Watch Conjuring 2
>Gratuitous Elvis scene
>Guy behind us sings along
>Calls his mom immediately after to tell her about it

>No *tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap phone*

Most distracting

(OP)
>walk to the ticket booth
>get ticket
>what the
>front row seats
>oh yes this is first time this cinema shows 3D
>its a 3D premiere
>enter projection room
>place is packed
>go to front row
>bunch of people taking 5 seats with coats and popcorn
>popcorn all over the floor
>Excuse me this is my seat
>sure bud
>they all move one seat
>sit in a chair
>popcorn under my feet
>crunching popcorn to my left
>someone talking in my back
>desperate view in my front
>actually paid money for this.webm
>get home
>save some cash
>buy home theater setup
Never again

Took a shit recently in the theater and rubbed it into the chair. Clean this, wagecucks

>watching Silence in NYC
>waited until new year's Eve hoping no normies would be on the prowl
>Couple a few seats away talk throughout
>Guy goes "aaaahhh don't do it" when Garfeild's character steps on the image of Jesus

Why do I go to the cinema, again?

having to listen to people eating is the most annoying shit ever. thank god they've usually finished in the first 15 minutes.

also
>smell of nacho cheese in the air

The stale fake butter smell is worse.

>go to the theater
>someone has to explain everything in the plot that was just implied instead of explicitly stated

I hate when someone brings their old dad to a theater and you can hear him sleeping during the quiet parts

>Walk into cinema
>It's gang warfare between laquisha and taquisha

I'm literally retarded.
I thought this was a thread making fun of Blue Man Group shoes.

>Implying you can hear that shit over the loud ass sound system

CLEAN IT UP

people sitting behind you
>that movie looks good
>pass the popcorn

>bend the knee to laquisha for safety
>taquisha cuts your dick off

What's it like being autistic?

>go see Mad Max back in 2015
>baby boomer age couple is on a date next to us
>movie starts and it's a non stop commentary track
>tfw Alamo Drafthouse
>don't have to do with any of this shit
>immediately raise a card
>manager starts watching them silently from behind in the aisle
>it gets to the part not 5 minutes in where the milk maids are shown
>the woman literally just says "MILK." out loud in a normal volume
>"excuse me guys but we're going to have to ask you to leave, please come with me"
>they're both completely dumbstruck as they leave the theater
>watch the rest of the movie in peace
Fuck yeah Texas.

having kids really fuck up womens faces and bodies.

youtube.com/watch?v=4Hi_psu4mlM

>be a civilised European
>try to explain to an American why it's utterly disgusting to eat like a swine in the cinema
>he just laughs and says "I didn't know you're no fun"

sorry man you should have said something

>the woman literally just says "MILK." out loud in a normal volume
Why are old people so fucking retarded?

>having kids really fuck up womens faces and bodies.
Dunno if bodies get fucked up that much from pregnancies, bu the faces are shit because they're no longer in their 20s and most women age like milk in the sunlight.

>>the woman literally just says "MILK." out loud in a normal volume
My grandma (80+) is doing this commentary thing every time.

This is why you go to theaters mid-day, mid-week. Empty seats, no kids or teens, only retirees are around, and tickets are cheaper.

>2015
>get dragged by friends to see Jurassic World
>guy sitting next to me who came by himself takes off his metal chain watch and just starts fucking with it nonstop
>looks to be college aged, maybe 19
>slowly and gently reach my hand over
>place it on his hands
>"hey man....can you please....not..."
>he looks at me and silently nods
>quiet for the rest of the film
In retrospect I think I dodged a bullet.

Then did you go fuck I just watched Mad Max at least it looked cool.

I just don't understand it. It must come from positive reinforcement of shitty behaviors. It's not all old people either, just a large subset

I liked it a lot honestly. I was super stoked to see it get a best picture nomination, I think we need to return to the era of nominating "classic" type films instead of just indie Hollywood circlejerk arthouse trash.

Like Raiders of the Lost Ark won best picture in 1981, that would never happen today

Not specifically aimed toward you user but I am simply amazed by how many Americans encounter the word harem for the first time through this movie.
I know that they are only 300 old as a nation but it is simply incredible.

this disgusting shit right here.

care to explain yourselves, amerifats?

I don't hold it like that, i just push it for half a second. A little dab'l do ya

>enjoy our carcinogenic and mutagenic artificial hydrolyzed corn oil butter substitute

It's not like I'm pouring it into a cup and drinking it through a straw. Just a good 7-10 seconds is all you need.

[autistic screeching]

KEK

>go see Star Wars
>obese clown with her 3 kids next to me
>MUNCHMUNCHMUCHMUCHMUCH HISSSSSSSS HISSSSSSS CRUNCH
>pull out my little flask and start drinking fromt
>fat mom somehow noticed even though she's supposed to be watching the movie
>hisses EXCUSE ME ARE YOU DRINKING BOOZE really loudly where everyone can hear
>some guy behind her tells her to shut the hell up
>she gets up worms her fat body through my and the rest of the row gets the staff and I get kicked out of the building

Fuck movie theaters.

>yum extra large please also can you put extra butter on that thanks

>Reply
>being an alcoholic
You deserve being shamed and kick out of the cinema

if i owned a cinema all carbonated drinks and all food would be banned. there'd be low light cameras and microphones all over feeding into a constantly monitored security room. talking, eating, coughing etc would all be grounds for instant removal. if they paid with a card we would no longer accept transactions from it. i'd go out of business within a week but it'd be worth it to prove a point

> i'd go out of business within a week but it'd be worth it to prove a point
What point would you have proved?

Fuck off fascist

That's not a thing

>Move to Japan a few months ago
>Go to theaters to watch Rogue One
>Neatest theater I've ever been to
>Pleasant experience with no problems
>Credits stars rolling
>Literally NO ONE stands up
>They all sit there watching all the credits with all the thousands of fucking animators
>Don't want to be the baka gaijin that disrespect the creators
>Pressured into watching the whole thing

T-Thanks.

you better have some sort of gimmick because without popcorn and soda like half the audience is going to go see the movies elsewhere

A thai girl named Pear once said to me "credits are there to be watched."

That was 6-7 years ago and I still watch every single credits roll I see... because credits are there to be watched,

Not only that but theaters don't make a lot of money from selling movie tickets, they get it from selling popcorn and sodas. That's why they're so expensive.

So it's autism, then.

Why are you taking a Thai ladyboy's words to heart? I hope you docked his pay for speaking during sex.

Was she cute?

>few years ago
>go see quantum solace with my friend
>big fat black guy sits down directly next to me
>armful of popcorn, soda, candy, nachos
>offers me some
>hoots and hollers through the whole movie, reacts to every punch or kick with a yell

It wasn't the worst theatre experience I've ever had

Same, but unironicaly

^dubs requires an answer senpai

OH SAY CAN YOU SEE

What's it like? To be so hopelessly fucking autistic

Yeah if you're a NEET and don't have to work during the day.

You work on Sunday?

>*Harshly whispering* Oh yeah, fuck me harder, yeah, right there, right there, oh my gooooood!!!

Sunday is not mid-week.

It's known that the Japanese are much more respectful of the movie-going experience. Wish people here in America had the same level of respect for the filmmakers.

I comprehend mid-day and mid-week being too separate things. I doubt I'll see many people in a theater on a wednesday night.

>Wish people here in America had the same level of respect for the filmmakers.
Americans have too much respect for certain ones and certainly not enough for others.

>watching Behind Enemy Lines
>part where enemy sniper is about to kill Owen Wilson
>US helicopter overhead interrupts his shot
>weird old guy sitting by himself yells "NOT SO FAST THERE, BUDDY!" clearly expecting a laugh
>no one acknowledges him

The secondhand embarassment was so bad that even now, 16 years later, I feel bad for that guy

You'd be correct in your assumption if he said mid-day or mid-week, but he didn't.

>CRUNCH
youtube.com/watch?v=bT_roTh0Fbo

>go to cinema to see star trek beyond
>go alone because no friends
>remember that although no singles policy has been relaxed, you still have to be x-rayed by security to check for weapons
>anxiety/autism about security seeing my dick kicks in
>panic
>go to food desk
>order some crab legs
>take them into the toilet
>break them up and wrap it up in toilet paper
>stuff it into my underwear
>pass security
>get hungry in the film
>every time i try to take crab leg pulp out of my underwear i get harassed by falcons
that beastie boys scene was dogshit tho

Weird, the theaters around here actually serve alcohol now.

When I want to recreate the movie going experience I put this on

youtube.com/watch?v=wKnbTGMvndo

>buy ticket to movie I've been waiting to see
>walk into theater and buy snacks at the concessions stand
>cute blond girl gets me my food and drink
>$20 with tip (tip her 75% because she was noticeably more polite to me than the black people in line ahead of me)
>find correct theater
>almost have my drink knocked out of my hand by a pack of nigglets running through the hallway screaming
>enter kinorama
>see black people
>leave

> DON'T GO IN THERE
> DAT SHIT IS SCARY

WAAARRRUGHAGHHA

Sounds like your problem druggie.

>This is why you go to theaters mid-day, mid-week. Empty seats, no kids or teens, only retirees are around, and tickets are cheaper.
>This is why you go to theaters mid-day, mid-week
>mid-day, mid-week

Come back when you are over the age of 6 and learn to read.

Once again: Alamo motherfucking Drafthouse.

No one under 18 allowed after 6pm on weekends. Every kind of beer you can imagine. It's fucking great.

Apparently when some guy brought Popcorn to a screening that Aki Kaurismäki was hosting he threw the popcorn and the guy out of there

At least he was a bro and offered to share his snacks.

>Immediately raise a card

Wait is this one of those Anvil falcon posts or is this a legitimate system there

>child sitting in front lies that I'm kicking his seat
>his dad threatens to beat me up

fug

This is by far the worst. Fuck people who bring babies to the cinema.

youtu.be/xoJDrbWtma4?list=PL7AA46E25F40D5EF4&t=289

No it's real. You write down on your card "people next to me are talking" or whatever and they send a manager to investigate. A lot of times people will shut up but I've seen people get warned or kicked out multiple times.

>kr-pop.. hisssssssssssssssssssssss
What is this one supposed to be?

That place sounds based

You fucked up

I think it's someone who's smuggled a can of soda in

Snakes

This. Its been a nightmare ever since my theater instituted the Mandatory Concessions rule in leu of raising ticket prices.

>I hate when shitty movies get nominated

>but I like it when shitty movies I like get nominated