REMOVE THY SHIFT

REMOVE THY SHIFT

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lick thy pusy!mmmm

>watch your whole family go insane and die mysteriously after accusing you of being a witch
>decide to become a witch cause fuck your immortal soul
what did she mean by this?

...

>be the devil
>cause a young hot girl's entire family to go completely crazy so you can get a young hot girl's soul for literally nothing

She wanted to live deliciously.
And obtain some butter.
See butter:

Haha I watched that alone in the theater and took my cock out and fapped xD

that ass was uncannily perfect. 3/10 not like

I'm glad we live in a modern age where we don't need to sell our souls to satan for some butter.
youtube.com/watch?v=azIbARyRxOI

Read your employment contract some time.

And the obvious: What you agreed to on iTunes.
He's crafty that Black Philip.

Madman!

Are you telling me Satan is going to rape me with a stick of butter?

>"I will survive" starts playing acapella

yeah, she should have just shown up to town, alone, with her family mysteriously not with her, in a time when they would burn the fuck out of you for the slightest inkling of witchcraft

it was either die tortuously as a mortal woman (with a slight to nil chance at salvation) or, as the meme goes, live deliciously as a witch

less than 1" is more appropriately defined as a clitoris. reevaluate bruh.......girl? whatever.
terribly fat cellulose ass and obvious body double. The real actress has the cute ayy fashion going for her

>bury bodies beneath house
>burn house down
>go to town and claim that Indians/bandits attacked and plundered your land
>steal a horse at first opportunity
>find new town

Does anyone else think the soundtrack is spooky?

youtube.com/watch?v=SIfjcHn9JYw

I thought they weren't going to show the vvitch so I shat myself at that scene

How often did they bathe back in those days?
[spoilers]how stinky would her pusy be?[/spoiler]

Anya speaking spanish is boner inducing (For me). I want to breed with her.

youtube.com/watch?v=oSGFxMLEj3g
youtube.com/watch?v=QItKA7oDwrU

>meet cutie witch in forest
>"REMOVE YOUR SHAFT" she says

wat do?

how many takes before they trained the goat not to sniff around in there?

Thats a lot of work bruv.

Remove thy shift.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....

BBBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPFFFFFF

Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my child....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....you fart quite deliciously

ya, may as well just sell your soul and become a witch

is this the famous ass scene?

Yes exactly

>absolute proof given that there's an afterlife and living piously will result in ascending to Heaven on death
>choose to sell soul to the devil and burn in Hell for eternity

Yeah, she sure made the right choice.

was the devil Marlon Brando?

Witches can live forevers

In the woods by themselves snatching up babies. Get together every once in a while with a bunch of other ugly, old bitches around a fire.

Pretty sure I'd prefer Heaven desu senpai

Lol witches can fly though! This guy..

I don't think you realize just how completely insane and deeply rooted superstition was back in 17th century colonial America. For fuck's sake, the concept of WITCH BURNINGS ought to suffice as an explanation. Her family were religious outcasts in the first place, that's the fucking set up of the movie. Exhausted, terrified and desperate, she really had no other choice. What the fuck are you gonna do, m8? Defy Satan who is sitting right there?

dat lordosis though

Her family mentioned sending her off to ANOTHER family, to help with household chores or something like that. I guess that happened a lot too back then, so I don't see why she couldn't have just gone to that family and said her parents sent her

Anyone else notice how the family members died after committing one of the seven deadly sins?

Son - Lust for wanting to fuck his sister (can't say I blame him desu senpai)

Mother - Vanity for wanting to keep the silver cup for vanity rather than sell it to provide for the family.

Father - Pride for not being able to admit he wasn't able to care for himself and his family and not returning to the town with his tail between his legs.

What about the ikkle childrens? Baby did nothing wrong

>Satan exists
>which means God exists
>which means that there's an afterlife that lasts eternity
>which means that anything in this life is fucking nothing compared to what comes next

Imagine: You're sitting in a room. Someone walks in and tells you that they're gonna punch you in 5 minutes. You know that you'll get $1m after this happens. You also have the option of leaving the room before you get punched, but you won't get the money.
Does any rational person leave the room?

Just finished watching.

The entire movie is ayy lmao but has a good atmosphere. I would skullfuck Thomasin.

>Mother - Vanity
That's not one of the sins
Pride, Lust, Wrath, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Envy
FMA is my jam

Well the twins were possessed or some shit. Don't know about the baby.

Babies are greedy fucks

Shit, I'm retarded. Maybe wrath then since she was such a fucking cunt.

everything anyone does can be linked to one of the seven deadly sins
right now im hitting gluttony and sloth pretty hard
lust will probably happen soon

I guess we know where all that butter went.

Because her father would have had to go back into town, try to get back in their good graces and arrange for her to go somewhere. People wouldn't necessarily take in some lone stranger from a banished family.

She had no real proof of any positive religious anything either. Her only option was Black Philip, proven to be real, with the offer of living deliciously. Otherwise it was a town that would likely burn her for a witch or at least convict her of a crime after her relatively pious family all died terribly, their piety doing them no favors from what she could see.

It seemed to be hinted at though. If not to imply that then why would they include the little fella checking out his sister's tits all the time?

If we're going to reach, the baby still had original sin or whatever on it since it wasn't baptized.

This movie was red pilled right?

so the camera had an excuse to focus on her tits

No. Thomison got BLACK PhillipED.

Little fella was entering puberty and couldn't masturbate because muh Christ was watching.

The way he kissed that qt3.14 witch... KINDA WISH I WAS ON HIS PLACE

>The entire movie is ayy lmao but has a good atmosphere. I would skullfuck Thomasin.
This is the appropriate reaction.

Yes.

The entire message of the movie is "women are agents of the devil" and "patriarchy is benevolent".

Yeah, her being part of an exiled family will really help the situation in which her family members were all killed by Satanic influence. Seriously, she would either be burnt for witchery and Calvinism is a hell of a drug, she's not guaranteed salvation at all. Or, with Satan sitting right there, she accepts him. You can leave the room, but the guy who was gonna punch you will chase you.

>>Satan exists
>>which means God exists
you never watched det sjunde inseglet m8?

course i did
few years ago now, but death isn't the same as the devil and don't the conversations have strong religious allusions?
unless you're making a specific reference that i can't recall

not surprised she's from Argentina

How old was the oldest daughter supposed to be? 14?

Dam gurl

Ever hear of a woods witch on Prozac? No, because the lifestyle works for them.

>"muh math logic in the realm of fantasy"

retard

The movie does not require the existence of any supernatural entity other than demons and witches, dumbass. Stop projecting your own fucked-up belief system onto the story.

Prepare thy turdcutter.

satan always preys upon people in their darkest hours.

thank you

Let's just say she was old enough, if you smell what the rock is cookin.

I thought people were supposed to pray to him.

What do you mean

She should have chosen virtuous living, like she did the whole movie. She would have gladly died and gone to be with God, who knew her heart.

Doesn't really make sense she'd just now decide fuck it I'll be evil

was it asskino?

>implying she wasn't evil all along

if shes old enough to pee shes old enough for me

>el audience

is that how you say it??

love this film

I wish that was the case

Vainglory was an original deadly sins

jesus christ why did I laugh do hard