Never been to a theather, what are they like?

Never been to a theather, what are they like?

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Dunno but I always see tons of happy couples outside of them

They are nice. The concessions are incredibly over-priced, but the portions are large.

The showers are almost always broken.

Brit here, gotta say, theater experience can be universal but each country has its own quirks. Went to a cinema in the United States and the penis inspector swiftly circumcised me, didn't even ask. The movie experience itself as fine, same flick I would have seen back home, but the flashing Applause signs were a tad distracting. They were on a set timer (approx every 90 seconds) with noise detection so if you didn't clap, the designated theater shooter would target you specifically. Other than that, I enjoyed The Secret Life of Pets.

>Other than that, I enjoyed The Secret Life of Pets.

What are the origins of these fine memes?

...

reality

Things that don't actually happen in theaters but unoriginal fucks just parrot things that have been posted 100 times instead of coming up with something new.

>Theather

>Falcons
>Crab legs
>Showers
>Penis inspection
>Anvils
>Designated theater shooter
>No singles policy
>Guard towers

Am I missing anything?

If you want an objective glimpse on what theaters are like this ambience track covers it dead-on.
youtube.com/watch?v=JBx-vydxfKU

horrible. theaters are for poor people who cant afford home theater.

could you imagine inviting a group of random strangers into your home and you all sit there and watch a movie? and because they dont really know you they'd mess your house up and not really give a fuck about your enjoyment of the movie?

yeah its like that.

You Murricans don't really know the horrors of cinema experience. Take everything you know and hate in Murrica and add the fact that everything is dubbed. Oh you went to see a movie with a famous actor? Well here you go, his face with some other local guy doing his voice.
And if you want a movie in English, you'll have to go to one of the "indie" cinemas and mingle with hipsters.

More anvils and Robert

>measure self in bathroom and be 6.6 inches
>guy at the ticket desk always measures me and tells me I'm 6.3 inches
>he always tells me that I need to wait for all the 6.5+ and scene card members to find their seats before everyone else is allowed in
>never get a good seat
At least I'm not like the 5.5 and under guys who are only allowed to sit in the front 3 rows but it is still annoying.

>2:09
I kek'd.

women

>tfw went to a Burgerland theatre and they actually had table service Burgers and Crab's Legs during the film...

It was a few separate memes (crabs legs, no singles policy, etc) that merged together about a year or two ago.

>Anvils
Explain that meme to a non-Murrican

How did the falcon stuff come about?

Every single movie? Down here in latinamerica we get everything subbed, only children movies get forced dubbed.

Where are you from?

literally plebbit """"""humor""""""

kys

sup nu-Sup Forums

Russia, comrade. Literally every movie here is dubbed. Subs are only shown in "indie" hipster cinemas. I don't mind a dub in a silly action movie, but why would anyone watch a dubbed drama.

Speaking of visiting the theater, what's your movie edc (every day carry)?

Personally I always brings a pair of 3D glasses, a lockpicking kit and a whistle (you know, just in case)

>want to see La La Land
>local theatre stopped taking "No Singles" bribes after a Guard was caught taking one
>go to local bar
>straight into bathroom stalls
>start searching for numbers
>find one, phone it up
>guy called "Big Bill" picks up
>explain the situation
>he agrees to go to with me
>meet him at a truck stop out of town
>get in his truck
>he starts driving completely the wrong direction
>get a bit suspicious
>he says he knows a better cinema but I have to pay "trucker's tax"
>go along with him
>5 hours later
>we're in Arkansas
>pull into a trailer park
>bunch of trucker types having around a trailer
>Bill pushes me out of the window
>syringe goes into my arm
>get tossed into the trailer
>his friends take turns pissing on my face
>afterwards they pay me $5 and give me an url to visit
>Bill picks me up
>drives me to the cinema
>we watch La La Land
>drive me home

I don't know why you all complain about the singles policy, I see it was a way of making friends.

what URL