Quick, recite the plot of AOTC from memory without looking at Wikipedia or Wookiepedia

Quick, recite the plot of AOTC from memory without looking at Wikipedia or Wookiepedia.

They're on plants and sometimes in space probably shooting lasers at some point while dialogue happens

Have not seen the movie but i will give it a shot

Jedis try to stop bad guys from doing bad things they don't succeed so they made a another film where they do succeed

So there are assassinations attempts at the Queen that become a senator. Anakin and ObiWan are to protect her, and Anakin wants to fuck Padme. They fight off assassins.

Obi Wan follows leads chasing assassin to long neck planet where they make clones for no reason at all. Anakin stays with Padme and just wants to fuck her on planet from first movie.

Fuck, then somehow Obi Wan ends up on new desert planet, chasing the assassin I guess. Anakin and Padme somehow end up there too. They get kindnapped, but escape. Bunch of Jedi come to save them but they get rekt by droids. Clones form before save that Kenobi accidentally found save them because they are an army for the Republic for some reason. Obi wan and Anakin fight Saruman but lose badly and Anakin loses a hand. Then Yoda shows up and has his character and lore irrevocable damaged and raped by George Lucas. Bad guys run away, Anakin gets married.

shapeshifter tries to kill padmé
obiwan tracks down jango fett
clone army
shitty romance on naboo
anakin killing sandniggers
mother dies
obiwan captured
anakin tries to rescue him but they get caught
30 minutes of visual diarrhea known as the battle of geonosis
the worst duel in the entire series
clone wars begins

Someone tries to assassinate Padme
Obiwan leads to trail to Kamino finding the clone army and then follows Jango to Geonosis
Anakin is assigned to watch over Padme, they go too Naboo, then he wants to go to Tatooine to see is mom, but she's dead, they receive a message that Obiwan has been captured, they go to Geonosis nearby.
They get captured.
Arena, duel, clone army, end credit

Okay I watched this shit in the theater but what I recall is that someone is trying to assassinate Padme, Obi Wan and Anakin protect her and then they send Obi Wan to investigate something that ends up being the clone army while Padme and Anakin end up in the Planet Venice falling in love
then shenanigans happen and they all fight in a colosseum and Yoda fights Dooku and Anakin marries padme.

10 years ago, Palpatine manipulated Jedi Master Sifo-Dyas into secretly contracting the Kaminoans into making a clone army for use by the Republic. Then, once there were enough clones to make a reasonably sized army, he sprung into action his master plan.

Step 1: Plot a fake assassination attempt on Queen Amidala, using several layers of bounty hunters, hidden data tapes, and poison darts. This step of the plan is purposefully complicated as it creates the illusion to Obi-Wan that he's doing detective work, when in actuality he's falling into the palm of Sheev's wrinkled old hand.

Step 2: Obi-Wan flies to Kamino in search of his bounty hunter, where he discovers the Clone Army. Meanwhile, Sheev's apprentice, Darth Tyranus, is sent to Geonosis to oversee the signing of the Separatist Pact, put into play due to Sheev's meddling with the Trade Federation years ago and the ensuing mistrust of the Republic by several systems.

Step 3: Manipulate Senator Binks into proposing to give Sheev emergency powers to counter the increasing threat of the Separatists, thereby allowing him to legally create a grand army to fight for the other side of his proxy war

Step 4: Initiate the Clone Wars by maneuvering Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Padme's kidnappings on Geonosis, causing Jedi and clone intervention and sparking lasting conflict

Step 5: ???

Step 6: Profit

Someone tries to kill Padme. Obi-Wan investigates which leads him to a cloning facility which he learns is pumping out clones for the Republic, yet somehow he was never told. He meets the assassin, Jango Fett, there and chases him to a conspiracy meet up on a different planet among Trade Federation leaders. He's captured and brought before Count Dooku who tells him that Sheev is a sith lord. Anakin comes to save Obi-Wan after a scandalous romantic outing with the senator. He ends up caught along with Padme. They are sentenced to death via monster gladiator arena but are saved when all the Jedi arrive with the clones. A fight ensues, the Jedi chase Dooku and eventually duel him. Anakin loses a hand, Obi-Wan is knocked out, but Yoda gets Dooku to flee once more. End credits.

Padme is under an assassination threat
Anakin and Obi Wan are made into her body guards
Failed assassination attempt
Obi Wan traces the leads to the source
Along the way he discovers a clone army for the republic
Gets caught
Anakin tries to save him
Gets caught
Jedi + Clone trooper rescue.

Reminder that he did all of this in order to protect the galaxy from the Yuuzhan-Vong.
Sheev, actually, literally, did nothing wrong.

Not canon.

>Yuuzhan-Vong
>Sheev
You can't mix the two continuities m8

Fucking Disney

Thank fucking god that the Yuuzhan-Vong is gone from the canon

the senate padmé is the target of assassination attempts, so the jedis anakin and ob-ivan are designated to protect her.
anakin and the padmé hide in some very romantic settings. I think they end up having sex there, or is that in episode 3?
the investigation about the assassination attempts lead ob-ivan to a planet where they (an anti-republican faction?) are mass-producing clones to go to war against the republican robots.
large battles ensue.
I really don't remember the ending.

*senator

>Watch out for that vicious bounty hunter Boba Fett, Luke. Did I ever tell you I fought his father? He was hired to assassinate a senator me and your father were guarding. We kept bringing her around open windows and public areas in order to draw the would-be assassin out because we knew he had too much pride to just shoot her from long range. He had used his payment to hire another bounty hunter to kill the senator for him while he sent us on a wild bantha chase. Also the 2nd assassin used her payment to buy a robot to assassinate the senator for her. Did I mention the 2nd assassin was a shapeshifter? She could have been in disguise and just shot the senator for all we knew! Then the robot used its payment to buy poisonous bugs to release into the senator's room while she slept after lasering a hole through the window. It could have just lasered her too after that because we we weren't watching her at all, but it already bought the bugs. So we sense the hostile life forms (not the robot) in the room and rush in and save the senator in the nick of time! Then I jumped out the window to chase the robot back to its owner! Luckily it didn't have a self-destruct function. Then we found the 2nd assassin and chased her across the planet, and caught her when she tried to kill us instead of shapeshifting and escaping. But to our surprise, Jango Fett was watching the whole thing instead of going to kill the senator while we were away chasing the bugs chasing the robot chasing the shapeshifter. He shot her with a poisonous dart instead of sniper blaster, and only her instead of shooting all of us or blowing all of us with a rocket or something, then he escaped with his tiny jetpack. Luckily for the senator, my good friend Dexter Jettster owned a 50s diner on Coruscant that had Republic secrets on the menu along with cheeseburgers and malt shakes. We found the assassin and Mace Windu killed him later, right in front of Boba. And he was a good friend.

Is that good?

I literally cant. Anakin gets his hand cut off and loves the water.

>Then the robot used its payment to buy poisonous bugs to release into the senator's room while she slept after lasering a hole through the window. It could have just lasered her too after that because we we weren't watching her at all, but it already bought the bugs.


EVERY FUCKING TIME

Someone blows up because padme is a target. Anakin and Obi-Wan are Bodyguards but obi goes and does research. Anakin stays with padme to get out of the friend zone. Obi-Wan Is caught, they save him and they chase count dooku. Anakin loses his arm, Yoda goes bananas and oh noes dooku got away. Anakin and padme marry, the end.

All Stars Wars films are forgettable.

Oh shit

Ugh there's a dude with a pony tail and his master. Ponyboy has the hots for Black Swan and this is used as a metaphor for coming of age involving worms, a robot, a shapeshifter, and a Fet.

He dreams his momma dead so he goes to sand land and kills a bunch of muslims. "I SLAUGHTERED THEM LIKE ANIMALS" "OH BBY I'M SO WET"

Then...oh yeah Obi finds something from somewhere and the fat guy at the diner. That leads him to a library and little kids and then to a rain planet/clone factory (this is some pizzagate shit).

He follows the guy after hiding behind a pesky asteroid and they come to the second coolest planet in the series that has nothing except for the fucking Colosseum.

There's a cool fight where they each have a dinosaur (oh this is all set up by Sauroman who was afk first movie). Then the swarm starts fighting because jedi pop up. Then droids pop up. Then clones pop up. Then it's just a cool video game fight.

Nat falls off her ship and Anakin is mad af because Obi cock block his. This is a metaphor for sex with Anankin losing his hand.

Oh and yoda fight. Think that's it.

The Jedis use their magic powers to save the day from the evil hands of the Empire

STAR WARS

DADDDDAAAAA

HEROES IN SPACE

DESTROYING EVIL WITHOUT A TRACE

THE SITHS GONNA CRUSH IT ALL

UNTIL ITS OUT THE JEDI WILL NEVER FALL

STAR WARS

DADDADDDADD

STARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

WARSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

COSMIC MARCH OF GOOD AND EVIL

STARS WARS

YHHHHHHHH

Assassins make attempts on Senator Padme's life before she can vote against an army being implemented in response to the confederacy of planets leaving the republic. The Jedi decide to send her and Anakin to naboo for her safety while Obi-wan investigates the assassination attempts. His fat alien diner chef friend somehow has knowledge that leads him to kamino, where obi-wan discovers a clone army already being developed for the republic. The army was apparently funded by a Jedi named "Sifo-Dyas", but that story doesn't add up so Obi-Wan questions the man being cloned, Jango Fett. Obi-Wan realizes he is the assassin and fights him, but Jango and his son Boba Fett flee. Jango flees to Geonosis, and Obi-wan follows him. After getting to the surface, Obi-Wan discovers that Count Dooku, the former Jedi who is leading the confederacy, is meeting with many rich jews who are planning to help him fight the republic. Nute Gunray is with them, and it is revealed that the assassination attempts on Padme were because he wanted her dead as a result of the events of The Phantom Menace, and he refused to help Dooku until she was killed. Obi-Wan is discovered and captured, but not before he is able to send a message to the Jedi Council.
Meanwhile, Anakin and Padme decide to leave Naboo to go to Tatooine because Anakin has strong force nightmares about his mother. They find out that she has been kidnapped by sand people, and Anakin finds her dying. He kills all the sand people. They get the message that Obi-Wan is in trouble and go to help him. They also get captured after hijinks. Dooku decides to kill them in a gladiator match but the Jedi and the new clone army come to save them. Big battle ensues, Jango is killed, Dooku escapes after defeating Anakin and Obiwan and flees to coruscant, where it turns out that Dooku and Palpatine are behind everything: the clones, the confederacy, and the war
I just rewatched the movie two weeks ago

Obi-Wan and Anakin are returning to Couruscant to see Padme after 10 years. They're assigned as her Jedi protectors after an attacker destroyed her ship on the landing bay. Padme then gets attacked again, Anakin and Obi-Wan chase the bounty hunter but she is killed before they can question her. Obi-Wan meets a good friend Dex so he can figure out where the dart that killed the bounty hunter is from. Also Palpatine is still Chancellor and Yoda and the Council don't trust him.
Meanwhile Anakin and Padme get sent to go hide on Naboo so that Padme is safe. Who knows why they send Anakin since he's just a Padawan but whatever. They fall in love and then Anakin has a weird dream about his mom so the two of them go to Tatooine to find her.
Meanwhile Obi-Wan tracks the dart to Kamino where he finds the clone army that was mysteriously ordered by a dead Jedi. Then he follows Jango Fett, who shot the dart through space to Geonosis where he is captured by former Jedi Count Dooku.
Anakin finds his mom who was captured by Sand People and she dies, so he murders everyone. Then he tells Padme how bad he is. Then they see a message from Obi Wan requesting help on Geonosis, so they go to help and end up captured as well. Then they kiss.
Before the three of them die, Yoda and the Clones rescue them. The Chancellor approved the Army after being voted emergency powers by the Senate. Also there's an emergency because some planets want to secede from the Republic.
Anyway, Dooku fights Obi-Wan and Anakin in a hangar, cuts off Anakin's arm and duels Yoda. He ends up escaping using a distraction and hides.
Anakin and Padme get married and the Clone Wars begin.

Luuuuuke

Senator Amidala is put under the protection of the Jedi after assassination attempts, supposedly from the Confederacy of Independent Systems. After a final assassination attempt, Anakin is tasked with going under the radar with Padme, while Obi-Wan follows the lead to Kamino where he finds that there has been a clone army in the making for the Republic, and confronts Jango Fett. After their confrontation, Obi-wan follows Jango Fett to Geonosis. Meanwhile Anakin has been getting hot with Padme on Naboo and decide the next thing their relationship needs is to introduce her to his family, go to Tatooine where they find out his mom had been abducted by Senator Amidala is put under the protection of the Jedi after assassination attempts, supposedly from the Confederacy of Independent Systems. After a final assassination attempt, Anakin is tasked with going under the radar with Padme, while Obi-Wan follows a lead gathered from the assassin on Coruscant. Obi-Wan follows the lead to Kamino where he finds that there has been a clone army in the making for the Republic, and confronts Jango Fett, who is the assassin who hired another assassin who hired a robot who hired two centipedes to kill Palme. After their confrontation on Kamino, Obi-wan follows Jango Fett to Geonosis. Meanwhile Anakin has been getting hot with Padme and decide the next thing their relationship needs is to introduce her to his family, so they disobey orders and go to Tatooine where they find out his mom had been abducted by sandniggers so he kills them all, the women and children too, which reminds him how much he hates sand. Once he gets back to the Lars homestead he gets a distress call from Obi-wan who fucked up on Geonosis and got captured after he was found sneaking around and spying on a Separatist meeting. So Anakin and Padme go to rescue the dumbass but also get captured, so the entire Jedi Order has to come rescue them, fight the Separatists, and live happily ever after

Can this be a Wookiepedia autism thread?

>A toilet was a fixture found in refreshers, used for the disposal of bodily wastes. Toilet paper was used to maintain personal hygiene.[1]
>Dianogas were sometimes known to live in and crawl out of a toilet.[2]
>Medical droids were sometimes reprogrammed to work as toilet cleaners in the military.[3]

I honestly think if the concept was executed better, the Yuuuzhan-Vong would've made a good movie.

>unironically enjoyed the Colosseum scene and Jango fett

Why did Lucas have to speckle in just enough brilliance for me to find myself making excuses for him?

Holy shit, Jango Fett can shoot a dart through the entirety of space so it lands on Geonosis? That's crazy.

>someone attempts to assassinate padme but fails because they attacked her double
>Anakin and Obi-wan are assigned to protect padme
>Jango using a shapeshifter using a robot using centipedes attacks Padme but this is stopped
>Obi-wan chooses to go after Jango while Anakin is assigned to guard Padme
>Obi-Wan follows clues in a dart to go to a 1950's American diner and finds out where the source is the dart is from
>Obi-wan tracks Jango down to clone world where he finds Jango and this new clone army that apparently a jedi ordered the creation of with totally non mysterious public funding
>Obi-wan gets into a fight with Jango forcing him to run away to some other planet where Obi-wan follows him
>Meanwhile Padme and Anakin have been flirting and talking about sand and this inspires Anakin to go to Tatooine again so he can show Padme the sand he was talking about
>Anakin finds his mom being raped by peaceful muslims and decides to kill them all
>Anakin and Padme find out Obi-wan was captured so they go into the planet where the Separatists are centered
>Obi-Wan, Padme, and Anakin get captured by Dooku who says he's actually a good guy so he's going to have them killed in an arena
>they kind of protect themselves for a while until they're rescued by the Jedi
>then the Jedi are rescued by the previously mentioned clone army
>Anakin and Obi-wan face Dooku and are defeated, but they're saved by Yoda
>Dooku runs away and apparently he was working for the sith, which wasn't apparent at all from his force lightning and red lightsaber
>Anakin and Padme get married
>he was a good friend

>people are trying to kill padme
>jedi send her old friends Obi-Wan and Anakin to defend her
>there's a totally fucktarded plan to kill her that involves two assassins, a droid and some poisonous slugs (the animals, not shotgun rounds)
>one of the killers leaves evidence behind
>padme goes into hiding with anakin, obi-wan follows up on the murderers
>obi-wan tracks the killer to a planet that's building an enormous clone army at the behest of a long dead jedi
>anakin keeps trying to seduce padme
>obi-wan chases the assassin from the clone planet to another planet, where a different jedi is building an army so that he and his allies may secede from the republic, also the villain from the first movie is there and really wants padme dead
>anakin convinces padme to come with him to his homeworld to find his mother
>obi-wan gets captured by the seperatists
>anakin's mother had been killed by space muslims, he genocides those space muslims
>obi-wan's droid sent a message or something to anakin so he and padme go to t save obi-wan
>they both get captured along with obi-wan, but the jedi come with the clone army to save them
>the seperatist jedi runs away
>anakin, oni-wan and yoda chase him and fight him
>they all lose and he runs away again
>separatist jedi is revealed to be working with the sith master from the first movie

Padme is going to be assassinated, so Obi Wan and Anakin run around a Blade Runner theme park. Then Anakin and Padme go sit in a field which is somehow to protect her from assassins, and they bonk each other. Meanwhile Obi Wan takes one of the assassin's darts and through a stupidly convoluted search discovers that the assassin is the blueprint for a clone army (and also Boba Fett's dad/clone DNA donor), he gets away and tells the jedi, then goes to a bug planet for some reason and gets attacked. Anakin and Padme find out somehow, they go to the planet and get captured too. Yoda picks up the clone army and sends 50 jedi ahead on a suicide mission to rescue the three idiots, when half of them die and they're surrounded Yoda around the survivors a perimeter creates, and there's a huge CGI battle.

Also Dooku has a fight with Anakin, Obi, and Yoda and then flies off, can't remember how that fits in.

50s diner

Actually in the next film they totally fail