Post the wrongest reviews you can find

Post the wrongest reviews you can find.

Other urls found in this thread:

pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/364-draft-730/
rollingstone.com/music/albumreviews/black-sabbath-19700917
allmusic.com/album/palm-reader-mw0000340834
prefixmag.com/reviews/zaireeka/13221/
rbt.asia/mu/search/text/"Like it or not, I don't care if you try to stop me from being here."/
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

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>pitchfork hates mexicans
The latest shitty album they've given BNM was by a spic though.

Swans - To Be Kind 10/10 - needledick

Literal pedophile who openly beat his s/o who also made shit music literally doesnt deserve the time of day,

stop being a pussy and listen real music if you want to listen to someone who is actually insane throw on some burzum

well the lyrics are terrible and the songs are too long.

>if you want to listen to someone who is actually insane throw on some burzum
Cringiest post i've witnessed today. Congrats, I guess.

pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/364-draft-730/

yeah, it should have been a zero

>Rolling Stone on Black Sabbath's S/T in 1970
“The whole album is a shuck — despite the murky songtitles and some inane lyrics that sound like Vanilla Fudge paying doggerel tribute to Aleister Crowley, the album has nothing to do with spiritualism, the occult, or anything much except stiff recitations of Cream clichés that sound like the musicians learned them out of a book, grinding on and on with dogged persistence.”
rollingstone.com/music/albumreviews/black-sabbath-19700917

Pitchfork's negative reviews for Ed Harcourt at fucking awful trash

I mean, Burzum is good (despite Varg's politics), but why not someone actually insane/mentally ill like Syd Barrett or Daniel Johnston?

Anything written by Brent DiCrescenzo for Pitchfork

How can any music critic give RHCP'S BSSM a 7.1, Californication a 6.8, and Stadium Arcadium a 4.7? Fuck all music critics; I'm glad that Sup Forums is invading this board now, so they can save us from believing faggotry like this!!

BSSM is an objective 9.5-10/10 and Californication is at least a 9. RHCP is factually a great band, and anyone who disagrees is an idiot.

I disagree. Anthony Kiedis is one of the worst, most obnoxious vocalists in modern rock history, and his 90s-wannabe-cool-guy yelping and just general blandness as a frontman absolutely stints the far superior talents of all his bandmates, turning what could've been an interesting genre experiment into faux-rebellious but ultimately tepid bro-rock

Kill yourself

Pitchfork giving lateralus a 1.9

i don't even like tool and that's retarded

This is just plain ignorant.

this is the second time I've seen you sperg out about some shitty rock album you listened to as a kid. please stop posting here

if Burzum was some random bandcamp page, no one would give a shit. Varg's history outside of music is the only thing keeping his music alive. The shit he made in prison is even more dull and worthless.

Literally many of the meanings of RHCP were made through Anthony's perspectives of life. Have you even listened to One Hot Minute, or By The Way or Californication? OHM deals with the inner turmoil and nihilism that comes with a severe addiction to drugs. Anthony struggles with his isolation from his own mind, as he desperately hopes to find that trapdoor to escape his asylum. The psychedelic atmosphere mixed with heavier undertones convey his hopeless state of meaninglessness; his fragile heart shatters and screams to his demons, wishing he could vanquish them. After Anthony's success with sobriety, he pursues an idyllic character with Californication, as he records his travels and voyages of the world. Each track feels as if he's discovered a new place, with his emotions laid bare on those places (such as the clandestine cynicism in "Californication", to even a new state of tranquility in "Scar Tissue", "Porcelain" and "Road Tripping"). By The Way more or less expands on these ideas in a more personal, individual manner. Anthony contemplates his relationships with people as he tries to discover who he is and his own contribution to the world. BTW is their most humanistic album yet.

Anyway, RHCP isn't as immature as you think. Quite a few of their albums divulge into a deeper, more introspective theme throughout, and Frusciante's abstract, yet delicate virtuosity mixed with Flea's rhythmic sensibilities create that synergy in which Anthony conveys his messages. Without Anthony's abstract idealism and his bouts with his demons, RHCP couldn't be the band they are.

If you have this outlook, why aren't you getting more autistic about Nirvana or some shit

Because pop rock sucks

Not autistic, but I did write this about them.

Fuck off. RHCP is not pop rock; I've told you idiots so many times and you still wouldn't listen. And anyway, Pitchfork has given lots of Pop/Pop Rock albums a higher score than BSSM.

> Not autistic
Big if true

rhcp is pop rock and sucks

Nope. Red Hot Chili Peppers aren't pop rock, musically and commercially. One crucial point that people forget to talk about was so obvious that it shouldn't even be refuted.

You do realize that there are radio stations that don't play mainstream pop music, right? I have never heard an RHCP song played on pop/pop rock stations once; if anything, they only get radio play on Alternative stations. Why else do you think they have the most "Alternative Songs" records on the chart (hint: not a single "Pop Rock" band has ever been on the chart. The closest they have are Indie Pop groups)? Maybe during the 90s, they got huge mainstream airplay, but even then, almost every Alternative/Indie band got quite a bit of airplay as well. Bands like Nirvana, Radiohead, Smashing Pumpkins, and even Pavement, Dinosaur Jr, Sonic Youth got some airtime as well. Are they pop rock too? And anyway, RHCP's achievements on the Alternative Songs chart is literally proof that they aren't pop rock. If RHCP were an actual pop rock band, they wouldn't nearly have as much airplay on Alternative radio stations as they do. Not only that, but many of their most famous songs haven't chatted as highly on the Hot 100 as other Pop Rock songs. Under the Bridge was their only top 5 single, and Californication and Give it Away didn't even reach the top 40. Meanwhile, those same singles were much more successful on the Alt. Rock charts. If they were Pop Rock, they most likely would have more success on the Hot 100/Pop 100, as opposed to Alternative charts, as aforementioned.

2:
Just because a band had songs that charted on the Hot 100, doesn't mean it's automatically pop rock. Pop Rock doesn't entirely mean Rock music that's widely popular. There are a plethora of obscure pop rock bands that have never charted on the Hot 100. There are metal bands that have had a hit song on the Hot 100. And plus, talking about my mental gymnastics? How does having a song on the Hot 100 determine the genre, which is based on musical composition, of a musician or band? It doesn't. Almost any genre, besides maybe Harsh Noise/the most abrasive of Metal, can get on the Hot 100. It's just a list of songs that are popular, and popularity doesn't necessarily mean the genre of pop. And just to add, Indie and Alternative music should not be defined by how popular or omnipresent the music is, but its uniqueness in sound/instrumental techniques from traditional pop/hip-hop/country.

t. Reddit

I don't use Reddit nor have I ever made a Reddit account. YouTube, Newgrounds, DeviantArt and Armor Games are where I'm from.

And to the idiot who posted this, shame on you.

John Fruisciante (or however it's spelled) has some great solo stuff but as far as RHCP... it's incredibly average, boring, and uninspired.

Read Blood Sugar Sex Magik alone ranks among the best Alt. Rock/Funk records of all time, and usually is held in high regards as one of the best albums of both the 90s and all time. That album marked a pivotal point in their direction, as they divulged in deeper lyricism with poetic and melancholic, yet hedonistic songwriting. Frusciante catapulted their songs with original guitar structure/composition, combining funk and psychedelic with indie rock-esque melodic sensibilities, and with Flea, formed a beautiful synergy that laid the groundwork for their subsequent albums, along with influencing funk metal/alt. metal, rap rock and alt. rock for years to come. And BSSM can be considered an "artistic" record, if you consider an album detailing the idyllic paradise of sexuality, spirituality and the conflicts between hedonistic and stoicism an artistic statement. Granted, they didn't expand on that idea, but it lingers on that territory. Californication was the breath of fresh air for RHCP, as they aspired, and successfully delivered, to make a melodic, summery and awe-inspiring rock record. Brimming with life and optimism as a contrast from the bleak, cynical atmosphere of One Hot Minute, the Peppers, with a revitalized Frusciante, created a swan song, or swan album, of the 90s, with a sense of hope for the future. Some of the somberly tracks like Otherside, Emit Remmus and Scar Tissue were mature reflections on the past, while hits like the titular Californication exposed the ironic poignancy of fame as a mere charade of tragedy and disappointment. Along with epics like Parallel Universe, Around the World and This Velvet Glove, Californication not only brought RHCP back into the limelight, but also produced a plethora of the greatest songs of the 90s.

>"all music is sucks, and its not a good place to find info"
>allmusic.com/album/palm-reader-mw0000340834
>" If you turned on MTV or the radio in 2005, you'd notice saxophone-led rock bands to be a nearly extinct species, and as a result, ZZZZ certainly stood out from the pack."
>"I will never visit all music again, ever"

no

another shitty one from another site, one of the plebbiest reviews ever.
prefixmag.com/reviews/zaireeka/13221/
Reviewer talk about going to his friend house to listen to zaireeka and etc...

The rest of the review...

"Here we go," he grins at me, his fingers dashing around the buttons.

This is amazing. There must be 100 tracks here. Jet engines, acoustic guitars, ten-part harmonies all sung by Wayne Coyne in that Kermity cadence, coming at me from four directions, rising and spiraling. It’s like Dark Side of the Moon, if Pink Floyd had consumed enough drugs to narcotize a small city. This music is — "What’s that, Chris? They didn’t what? Really? Are you kidd — " I’m sorry, um … just a sec, excuse me.

"None at all? No fucking way. Not even — no way! Chris, you lie. Nothing?"

The Flaming Lips did not take any drugs during the recording of Zaireeka. I cannot fucking believe it. The Flaming Lips did not take any drugs during the recording of Zaireeka. I cannot fucking believe it. The Flaming Lips did not take any drugs during the recording of Zaireeka. I cannot fucking believe it.

hahaha holy shit you are a retard

You're right, they gave stadium arcadium 4 too many points

...

that pic is correct though, fuck off

Nigga if y'all wanna here something by someone insane listen to Charles Manson. His music is alright too

True. Rhcp kills it. Mu is just full of faggots who like albums based on a virtue signalling code that honors obscurity or unnecessary wierdness

Name 3 things wrong with the most ambitious Alternative Rock/Hard Rock double album since Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness.

...

this
solid 7 desu

Why does P4K hate prog so much? as a bunch of stuck up pretentious cunts i though it'd be right up their alley

Anyone that's given In Rainbows anything above a 6/10 is a gay faggot. It has 2, maybe 3 good songs. so overrated.

too low

...

RHCP is a band you like when you're 13 years old. Grow the fuck up. Not to mention that they were always an inferior Jane's Addiction.

you are so fucking wrong it hurts

No, not even close. Music holds no boundaries regarding time, which doesn't even exist anyway. And plus, RHCP is much more talented, creative and mature than most people think. This isn't the same band that made songs about partying on pussies anymore. After Hillel's death, their music went a much more intricate, introspective path.

One Hot Minute is better than anything Jane's Addiction ever made.

It was at least a strong 3
This atrocity

Bumpola

>make a bunch of subpar pop songs
>so ambitious, so great

> It's not good
> in fact its pretty bad
> and incredibly derivative
> SLAP BASS WOAH MAN SO COOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

1: Stadium Arcadium was not pop. It's Alternative Rock with cues and elements from Funk Rock, Hard Rock and Art Rock.
2: It reveled in grandiosity, helping humanity thrive under the pressures of life. Kiedis laments on the potential humans have to contribute to the greatness of this world, writing characters to escape the ends of entrapment.

> Funk rock
oh you mean it has the fucking Seinfeld bass. Fuck off, that doesn't define it as funk.
> Hard rock
I mean the gain was probably on about 5-6 tbqh, none of the riffage, vocals or drums were hard rock more than they were alt rock.
> Art rock
Lol where.
> helped humanity thrive under the pressures of life
lmao he had a drug addiction and sung about it, how new, how grandiose, how groundbreaking.

Fuck off.

Rolling stone:

The record as a whole is another matter — I don't think I could ever tolerate all of it. There are three brilliant songs, one good one, three qualified bummers, and three are the flaming shits.

>And plus, RHCP is much more talented, creative and mature than most people think

>She stuck my butt with her big black stick
>I said "what's up?" now suck my dick

From their critically acclaimed album BSSM. I fail to see how any mature person could like such juvenilia. Again, that's the stuff you like when you're in your teens and don't know any better. Tastes and preferences in anything change and develop.

Jane's Addiction on the other hand are far darker and more serious in their lyrical content. Their songwriting was also far more intricate and progressive. Funk rock/metal in general is a dumb and limited genre but RHCP really pushed the envelope when it came to simplifying such a dumb genre even more in order to appeal to mainstream audiences.

>>It's not good
>>in fact its pretty bad
None of these are actual arguments. How is Stadium Arcadium not good or is bad?
>>derivative
Of what? The only song that even sounded remotely similar to another musical work was Dani California. Even so, it differentiated in chord progression, BPM, and musical vision. Also, Dani California was much heavier than Mary Jane and contained one of the best guitar solos of Alternative Rock ever. Besides that, the only thing it's "derivative" of is maybe their past works, but even so, it's still a lie. RHCP combined many of their past styles from other albums, such as the dry funk in BSSM, the abstract Art Rock found in OHM and By The Way, and the melodic Alternative Rock (not pop rock) of Californication to create a monolith of a double album. Read

RHCP is just glorified pop rock

I really hope you're saying this ironically

> the only things that can differentiate songs are chords and speed
You ever considered tone? actual instrumental changes? Strumming patterns?
all RHCP songs just sound like a song off Mothership had a high speed collision with the Seinfeld theme song
These all have good points, yours is just "WeLl ItS nOt PoP rOcK sO tHaT mAkEs It GoOd!!!!!"

damn you are insecure

>the RHCP fag ruins another thread
can you just fuck off

fuck I never realized how good of a template that comic strip is.

The Mink Car is a really good time, fight me bitchfork. Also, Melon's TOTEP review was way off. KKB's bold for going in a new direction, and talented for executing it so nicely.

everyone I know hates this record for no reason, it certainly deserves more love

This is beyond retarted and the review is cringy

Great job completely nitpicking one lyric from their album and ignoring songs like I Could Have Lied, Breaking the Girl, My Lovely Man, Naked In The Rain, The Power of Equality and Under The Bridge. You didn't even address any of their songs from One Hot Minute, Californication and By The Way, where such an argument that "RHCP is immature" is unwarranted in describing these albums. And you don't think RHCP has experimented with melancholy ideas and cryptic misery before? As I've stated, OHM deals with the inner turmoil and nihilism that comes with a severe addiction to drugs. Anthony struggles with his isolation from his own mind, as he desperately hopes to find that trapdoor to escape his asylum. The psychedelic atmosphere mixed with heavier undertones convey his hopeless state of meaninglessness; his fragile heart shatters and screams to his demons, wishing he could vanquish them. In songs like Otherside, where Anthony's morbidity returns to haunt his soul for what seems to be an eternity, its composition heavily relies on an ethereal and ambient atmosphere mixed with noisy guitar dynamics, akin to Shoegaze and Post-Punk. This sounds like the RHCP were trying to go for a Smashing Pumpkins-ish tone, with its lullaby-like melody giving a whimsical surreality that emanates from a fragmented amulet, and a heavily-layered guitar solo as well. The fact that you couldn't even cite any of the other songs in BSSM, nor even notice their evolution from One Hot Minute to Stadium Arcadium proves you don't know a single thing about RHCP at all.

this is just sad
fucking 14year old Sup Forumstards

Cringey review for a cringey band. Makes sense.

Great job completely ignoring any argument or perspective counter to your own.
> ethereal and ambient atmosphere mixed with noisy guitar dynamics, akin to Shoegaze and Post-Punk
You know nothing.

The mars Volta more like The Garbage Retards

How come you can't just reconsider that maybe RHCP isn't as bad as you thought?

How To Be Wrong
A novel by Tripfag FRIENDO

basically
his arab on radar review was fucking terrible
he said something along the lines of "all this shit has already been done by the jesus lizard and u.s. maple"
and then you listen to the album and wonder what he was even trying to convey with that statement

>tripfag
You don’t get to decide what’s cringy

You still didn't address any of their other songs from any of their other albums. You know nothing.

And by the way, your perspective is shit. RHCP is not even close to being as immature as their earlier works. You just used one example and disregarded any of their other songs.

>cringed review for a cringy band
>posted this

who said I dislike RHCP? I'm complaining about you you fucking faggot. you're so fucking insecure about people not stroking the dick of a band you like that you can't take the smallest criticism towards it and derails entire threads to have everyone know how much you fucking love this band and everyone who doesn't is wrong. learn that people dislike something you don't and live with it instead of acting like a faggot about it. basically, see the pic in (which you saved yourself, because that's how fucking self-absorbed you are)

>when you get so blasted by FRIENDO that you drop trip and whine about him elsewhere
There needs to be a term for this phenomenon.

>learn that people dislike something you don't and live with it instead of acting like a faggot about it.
People can dislike RHCP and say it's just not their cup of tea. The thing is though, none of you guys had any sort of valid criticism on why RHCP is a bad band, proving you've only listened to their singles and their "meme" songs. Whenever I try to tell you that they aren't entirely like that and propose a different perspective than the status quo, you all reject it. If you're going to hate a band, at least give valid criticisms why. It's bullshit that bands like Nirvana, Smashing Pumpkins, Radiohead and other Alt. Rock bands of their time get continuous praise from Pitchfork, RYM and Sup Forums while RHCP gets scrutinized for stupid, petty reasons (Anthony isn't even a tenth as bad of a frontman as people say, and they completely exaggerate his flaws when frontmen like Ian Curtis, much less talented, gets monumental praise). And also, I found that picture randomly today while searching the archives, looking for posts with Reddit spacing. What's so bad about saving that picture?

Literally not me.
There are other posts here you dumbass.

I remember the Top 40 singles playing on pop radio a ton in the mid-2000s

here is your (you) you really cool invividual :')

...

he is actually right, rhcp brought artistry to the commodity, the beauty of their music lies in concious simplicity

also, the way they combine instrumental parts is the best since Led Zeppelin

Yes, because I'm supposed to magically know you're not , the person I was replying to. Come back when you're not a faggot.

Thank you, kind sir. I appreciate you.

>Whenever I try to tell you that they aren't entirely like that and propose a different perspective than the status quo, you all reject it.
Holy fucking shit that's fucking rich. You, of all people, accusing people of sticking to the status quo. You, the person who repeatedly goes through hoops and loops and constantly contradicts yourself just so you can say RHCP isn't Pop Rock. The person who, in every fucking thread you're in, is constantly exposed to perfectly reasonable reasons on why someone would dislike your so loved band, but chooses to put your fingers in your ears and spam your retarded copypastas. The person who's only in this thread in the first place because fucking Pitchfork didn't give an album you like BNM (wow, p4k is filled with hipsters, what a huge surprise), and appears in every Nirvana or RHCP thread as soon as someone DARES to say that they aren't the best band of all time.
I've never seen someone lack as much self-awareness as you do. No matter how many times people debate you on whatever topic you're currently sperging about, you'll be back in the next thread, like the other thread never happened, and whenever someone calls you out on it, you just say "lol those arguments were dumb and not valid" and continues spouting the SAME points you spout in every fucking thread.
I've never seen someone have such an aversion to different opinions as you do. It's not a matter of "not being their cup of tea", you just straight up reject any sort of dislike or criticism towards RHCP no matter how reasonable it is. Hell, you're fucking doing in this very post. It's fucking pathetic.
Also, there's no other matches of that pic in the archive other than your post, so you obviously took the screenshot yourself.
You're the kind of rabid fanboy that makes me ashamed of liking the things I like.

holy shit

at this point i dont think hes genuine

He's been as retarded as he was when I first saw him posting earlier this year. Even if he claimed to be trolling, it's just "lol I was just pretending to be retarded".

>You, of all people, accusing people of sticking to the status quo.
Yes, because it is the status quo, you fucking idiot. The entire reason why I started posting in this stupid board in the first place is because of the common, near-universal hatred of RHCP here. Do you even know how many threads I saw of people shaming RHCP for their "California" lyrics? I'll be completely honest. 30. 30 threads full of shit like "fucking a needle on the balls of California," "ABRACADABRALIFORNIA," and "Faith No More is better." Yes, I was justified in reposting my same points, because you brainlets repetitively proposed these same points as well, and even developed into disgusting elitists that shunned people who enjoy RHCP as plebeians. I was trying to save them. Your hatred of RHCP reigned supreme on this board long before I began posting, and before I even heard of this retarded website. Just like I continuously reposted my unaddressed points, most of the time people still argue the same insipid points that they became "pop" because their music became more mellow, ignorant of the fact that Californication, By The Way and Stadium Arcadium was significantly different in sound from most traditional pop rock bands, as they objectively employed elements of Art Rock, Post-Punk, Neo-Psychedelia, Hard Rock, and even Indie Rock as well. And plus, most of the points I addressed were not responded to properly. Read the images again, and look at the actual posts on the archive. Especially the middle one. When I asked why he thought RHCP was pop rock, he didn't even respond at all. If anything, I've been much more persistent than any of my opponents anyway. And plus, unless people on RYM stop disgracing one of the best, most influential and creative rock bands ever, I will never stop posting. So you can either retreat somewhere else, or deal with it, accept RHCP's godlike music, and accept that they are objectively Alternative Rock. Once that happens, I'll be done here.

BTFO
How will Led Seinfeld ever respond

> I'm the underdog so I must be right
fuck outta here unk

And one last thing, nigger. Like it or not, I don't care if you try to stop me from being here. I belong on Sup Forums just as much as you, Crazium, KPOP, Grimes posters and anyone else on this board. You can't stop me. I'm not weak anymore, faggot.

And by the way, I'll use spacing whichever way I desire. So screw off with your BS. And one last thing, I asked my friends if RHCP were pop rock. They all just laughed at my face and called me an idiot. Imagine how they would have reacted to the mongoloids who believe RHCP is actually pop rock here.

This is my domain now. Your elitism and stupidity have now been stolen, and converted by me into artistry, divinity and intelligence. Do my appellations daunt you, disgusting cherubim? Do they incite agony to your crystal caves enveloping your spirits? Do they chain your ears into my beloved pendants and raise you to your demise? Horrid pedantry one harbors to my lair.

Ah, I see it now. It's all rooted in a deep insecurity of liking a band people make fun of.
Let me ask you something: do you seriously think RHCP is the only band people make fun of? Have you been to threads about any other artist? Because pretty much every single slightly popular band is made fun of here, each one more harshly than the other. I've seen you around, and I've seen you make fun of bands like FNM or Mr. Bungle. How is that different? Do you seriously think just because more people dislike RHCP that you're remotely in the right? You're not as different as you think you are, dude. Stop taking attacks on bands you like personally. It's fucking stupid. Get some personality outside of your music taste.
>being so fucking buttblasted over people making fun of your writing that you copypaste the most pathetically defensive post I've ever seen on Sup Forums in an unrelated argument
rbt.asia/mu/search/text/"Like it or not, I don't care if you try to stop me from being here."/
Holy fucking shit the insecurity. Are you fucking 16?

Nice poem faggot. RHCP sucks to some people. Deal with it. Oh, and they're pop rock. Just because your faggot friends say otherwise means fuck all. Who cares if they're pop to you, are you that insecure that you'll let a genre name bother you?
Oh and I pray what you wrote becomes new pasta. I got an actual ulcer from clenching because of how gay what you wrote was