Guys in my dorm invited me to tailgate this weekend

>guys in my dorm invited me to tailgate this weekend
H-how do I handle this bro's?

tailgate is codeword for gay anal sex. bring condoms, lube, and a jersey of your favourite football team (for foreplay purposes)

Just be yourself.

Edit: Thanks for the gold!

>guy in my dorm
Why do americans do this?
When I started University I lived at home in my first year, I'm second year now and live with my gf.

Both homes were ~15 and ~5 mins away from campus respectively, are Americans that lazy that they won't drive/walk/ride to "college"? And isn't it expensive to live on campus too?

1. Go and bring beer
2. Kneel during the anthem
3. Just be yourself

What's a tailgate? Is it an excuse for Americans to eat? I'm going to guess that it is.

Walk to stadium at correct time
Bring some food or drink
Enjoy the company of others
Go to game

many people are qualified to attend better schools and don't need to settle for the school 15 minutes away

It is

when they leave for "college" they go to entirely different cities i believe

don't drink the beer
stand around awkwardly looking at Sup Forums threads on your phone

should be alright

>enjoy company of others
This is where I get a little lost

Leave your door open!

>Living with a girl that you haven't married yet

Blasphemy

more like an excuse to binge drink. The eating comes with it since they usually occur around lunchtime.

Only applies in Canada.

A lot of people bring food but it's way more about binge drinking than eating. Especially college football.

what college do you go to

I happen to already live 15 minutes away from the best university for my field, along with many other fields in Australia. There's also another prestigious university 20 minutes from me.

Out of everybody I know, the most anyone has gone from our home is 45 minutes for a better engineering university. Perks of not living in the middle of nowhere like a hick

take a bat with you and some anal lube, if any of them mentions Trump, racist, Kneeling (or actually kneels) then say you'll shove this bat up their ass.

>Tailgating in 2017
Don't do it.

State

what is the lube for?

limit your responses to less than 5 seconds. Keep it short, simple and mildly self deprecating. Have a few drinks, stay flexible and bring cash. Eye conyact and smiles for all the girls. Head nods and whatsups for all the boys. Relax.

It's a requirement for freshman to live on campus for a lot of schools in America. It's been proven to help reduce the number of dropouts.

...

ya most people in Canada just go to school in the city where they grew up and rarely live on campus.

Bring any combination of weed, food, or alcohol. Be ready for bantz and general rowdiness. Try to get your weewee touched.

>bring a football
>talk about the upcoming game/school and classes you're taking if college game/girls/work while throwing said ball and drinking
>just bee yourself
I doubt they would have invited you if they thought you weren't someone they wanted to spend time with unless you happened to be awkwardly standing in the lobby while they were talking about it and they threw you a pity invite

Wear:
That Drumpf cap from the autistic Brit sperging on TV, a BLM shirt and no pants, socks or shoes as they're symbols of the global patriarchy, racist, mysoginists and homophobe
Talk:
You don't need to think much no matter what other people say to you just answer:
>I think what you just said is highly problematic, I mean it's the current year and there is no place for (random -ism word that fits) and you basically sound like a nazi.

If people offer you stuff refuse it kindly and repeat you line...

Enjoy all your new friends and compliments for how safe you're

Freshman are required to live in dorms

Not old enough to buy beer. Can't really make food either cause dorm. Thinking about swiping some bowls from the cafeteria and bringing a couple boxes of ice cream. Like an ice cream social.

Nebraksa

If it's for the NFL you'll be the last guy to kneel and prep the bull. This is a time honored tradition among NFL fans.

Kneel while cooking the hamburgers

>going to a tailgate
Most overrated experience out there. Not even shitposting, it's boring. Unless you are super into bromance experiences, steer clear.

How do these freshman afford it? Unless it is cheaper than I think it is

Kind of sounds like if your parents aren't rich you either don't go to college or you go to college and then work so hard to pay for your mandatory dorm that you ruin your GPA before you graduate, or you triple your debt

lose lose lose, America is fucked.

Lmao people are going to be getting so trashed I bet. Nothing else to do in nebraska but watch football and day drink. Just go with it

At my uni, living in the dorms was actually cheaper than off campus. About 1000 for the room for 9 months and the cheapest meal plan came down to like $5 a day for all you can eat at the 2 dining halls

How about this. Buy one gun. Doesn't matter what kind, just fucking do it. Buy a single bullet that the gun you bought is able to use. Load the gun. Cock it. Point the barrel of the gun to your head. Pull the fucking trigger, kike.

Make sure to bring your knee pads.

dude im 25 and I wish I could get invited to a tail gaiting thing and I don't even like football

I would just be so happy to hang out with people that didn't mind being around me

take that opportunity man, when you get older those don't come around very often

>Americans

Easy dude just fucking tell the guy you wanted to bring something to the tailgate and ask him what he wants, chips, a sandwich platter, some soda, etc

>ice cream social

yeah I know im pretty its his first tailgate/time around people

ice scream haha you goof

>implying auscucks can buy guns

Don't be the guy who doesn't drink and have fun, that's weird. Also don't be the guy who gets too drunk before the game to watch.

This is the best advice

hang out and be normal. don't feel obliged to talk, especially to girls you've never met. truth be told my least educated friend has a bs from stanford. i have no idea how i'd hang out with "guys in my dorm".

If you live by the school a lot of people commute.

If you cannot afford a big uni most people go to small local colleges for two years and transfer to a larger uni.

I grew up in Dallas, where's there's a handful of colleges and a few unis. I still moved 5 hours away to another school where I lived in a dorm for a year.

Bring a large bowl of scrambled eggs. Everybody loves eggs

Have a few beers or drinks so you stop being autistic.

>my feet hurt

Tell them you like to play both offense and defense on the football field then give them a wink

bring hot sauce and a boner, do not combine

i know that feel

>tfw 25 years old and havent had real friends since i was like 12
>never been to a sporting event with anyone even though i live in a major area with multiple baseball, football, and a basketball team (even soccer and hockey)
>dont even know what a tailgate would be like

>Nebarska
Lol have fun drinking .02 percent beers

If you have a car then you're old enough to drink beer and tailgate. Just get your hands on a 24 pack, if you're a college student and can't get a fucking case then I feel sorry for your college

I lived on campus for 3 years and ended up owing $11k total
You would be hard pressed to find a place to live for 3 years for cheaper

Same here
Im 25 and in my junior year of college and have zero friends
Always had friends throughout school from sports then went to military and your always around each other so easy to make friends. Then got done went to college and dont really know how to make a friends. Plus dosnt help that ik always like 4 years older so trying to put myself out there and include myself i worry i look like some desperate old guy trying to be some young college kid. Dont really mind veing alone all the tine just sucks cuz bar scene and pussy game is legit here and i dont have anyone to go out with

hey least you are in school. im 25 and still haven't decided on what I want to go back for

JUST

Go to the bar alone until you meet someone there, then go with them next time you go. This is my plan, though I'm 22.

here

dude i cannot even imagine the terror of that. no one wants to talk to the guy who is at a bar alone. what the fuck do you expect to do, try to sneak into a group of friends?

Easy enough, just see who's celebrating and start high giving them

1. Wear something with your school's logo on it. This is the most important part of fitting in.
2. If you don't know at least some of the players names/positions, learn them. Be prepared for idle chitchat about your team and how they're doing and which players are good.
3. Bring beer. If you're underage/no fake ID, give some money to one of the guys who is/has one. Even if you do neither of these things it might still be ok because people are extremely generous at tailgates.
4. Try to relax. Tailgates are fun. I'm pretty socially retarded myself but I love the student tailgate atmosphere at my school.

If you can't get alcohol, don't bring anything, just offer to pay some amount of money for drinks (don't specify), this is how chads work
t. autist that is chadpassing

there's nothing weird about not drinking. drunks/kids are fucking irritating.

So you can jerk off when you're done

>Don't be the guy who doesn't drink and have fun, that's weird

>if you don't drink that means you don't have fun

kill yourself

The place I go plays loud music and it's packed so it isn't awkward. Buy a drink and sip on it slowly until you see a girl who's away from her friends and then make a play.
If that doesn't work then drink or smoke pot and read some pua shit as a pre-game. When you show up remind yourself that we're all animals and nothing matters. This should eliminate any feelings of awkwardness and fill you up with manic confidence. Sleep deprivation also works. Just get out of your head and try talking to girls, I guess.
If that doesn't work then try a sports bar or open gym and make friends by not being yourself.

>I don't drink yet I'm fun

Kill yourself, loser

why is this so funny?

>Everyone in Australia lives within about an hour or so of each other

Amazing country right?

get this, some people are fun by their mastery of the language. grow up :)

The premise establishes a tempo of dramatic sincerity which is subverted by the punchline.

if you're nervous your instinct might be to drink a lot to get more sociable..that's a huge mistake. you'll make a mess of yourself that way. the most important thing is to control your drinking

autism

You sound bitter about going to a shitty commuter school tbqh

Just go to the pub near by before hand and have a few beers. Why are you driving for? Just get public transport, I'm sure it's not far? Then you can get pissed and enjoy the game

is eating a rare occurrence in bongland? i know you guys fast an entire month during ramadan.

Kinda sounds right though. Id say when your there, one of you says what your all secretly thinking...fuck the game, let's finish these dogs. You sit in the car park and just eat and drink. I can understand when you probably have to walk half a mile to the stadium anyway

We are no better. People often miss football games becasue they settled quit nicely in the local pub and the beers tasty