Why was Tony Soprano so bad at Mario Kart 64?

Why was Tony Soprano so bad at Mario Kart 64?

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wtf, hes holding it fucking wrong

He never had the makings of a basement NEET.

his hands are too big for those poorly designed controllers

because the game rewards players in last place with the most powerful item grabs and people who are actually good at it with shit items, meaning that if you're about to cross the finish line, you can expect a fucking blue turtle shell to hit your ass or a lightning bolt to shrink you as you watch in frustration as everyone else passes you

>GABBAFUCKINGOOL DIS GREASY MUDAFUCKA KEEP THROWING TURDLE SHELLS AT MY ASSHOLE

He was a FUCKING QUEER!

/thread

the middle handle is useless you greaseball

...

>plays video games with you
>buys you a jeep
>takes you through crack neighborhoods, gives you advice about real estate and teaches you about your ancestors from the old country who were stone masons
>helps you get a job in construction
>cheers you up after your girlfriend dumps you
>finds you some cool friends to hang out with
>saves your life when you attempt suicide
>pays $20k a month so that you can get help at a mental facility
>pulls you out of your depression when your uncle Bobby is murdered
>buys a BMW when you accidentally set fire to your jeep
>finds you a job working in the movie business for Little Carmine
>calls you coocootz all the time

>gets you off a potential attempted murder charge after you try to kill a family member
>doesn't tell your mother about it

He's not touching the accelerator, no wonder AJ's beating him

>BING

>WAHOO

>*1-UP*

None of that stopped AJ from being whiney little faggot cocksucker.

He thought Mario was an anti-italian stereotype.

>mfw i'm posting shit at internet chat rooms wearing onyl underwear

Ive never held an n64 pad but fuck me they look uncomfortable

>not around to be a good dad because you're always off murdering people or betraying your wife with Eastern European hoo-ahs

I remember when I was 10, I grabbed a pizza out of the fridge to hear up and my Dad called me far so I dropped the pizza and walked out.

Notice my surprise when 10 years later I watch the exact same thing happen between AJ and Tony in the show.

It was. Then they learned from it and GC controller was the comfiest ever.

Fat*

AJ looked like he was getting his shit together in the final episode

Still way better than my dad.

Tony was a "Goldeneye" man

in season 1's deleted scenes (vhs only)

tony and the crew have split screen golden gun multiplayer games in the back of the bing.

complex and archives are his favourite levels.

Honestly, this. Tony wasn't that bad of a father all things considered.

I think the whole point of Sopranos parenting is it doesn't really matter what you do as a parent. Fucked up kids are fucked up kids.

>I think the whole point of Sopranos parenting is it doesn't really matter what you do as a parent. Fucked up kids are fucked up kids.
what the fuck am i reading

are you legitimately retarded

Tony drove like shit

Never forget:
>phil
>Chrissy
>Adrianna

He was a fucking menace

>WHATEVAH HAPPEND TO TROOPAH KOOPAH? THE STRONG SILENT SOLDIER?

Tony wasn't the one driving in the accident with Christopher.

Whatever happened to Gary Kooopah?

Who did Apple Jacks try to kill? I forgot.

Junior

>tfw no father figure growing up

Oh yeah hah. Forgot about that.

>they don't make anyone go through a metal detector to visit inmates
What world do they live in? Anyone can just sneak a knife or a gun or anything to an inmate.

Wtf i hate mario kart now?

He was Gay?

Didn't he drive into Phil on purpose?

youtube.com/watch?v=OEfiVLnidgI

Tony is in the dark, AJ is in the light, this is the last time they bonded as father and son

They're both in equally dim lighting.

I am gonna quit. This is my goodbye party with heroin.

That would be great. Christopher being drunk and still having great accuracy and Paulie just getting confused in which screen is his.

>the scowl on Silvio's face slowly growing more and more severe as he keeps dying
>eventually he flips and starts kicking the shit out of some soldier

That's Mario Kart wii.
There was no blue shell in MK64

We can all agree that Patsy ordered the hit on Tony, right?

it was in a retirement home IIRC

because of them cunts

That was a retirement home? I thought he was still in jail. Plus why would they all freak out and tackle him for having a knife while yelling KNIFE!!!!!!

Plus they have guards everywhere, a fucking airlock system where you have to be buzzed in and escorted to your loves ones? What sort of retirement home is that?

>adrianna

She was sucking his dick, though. Cum all over the visor!

spike shell did the same thing, it hit the leader and sometimes took out a few of the people in front of you