Nigger stories?

Nigger stories?

>watering my garden
>a wild nigress approaches
>can i ax you summit?
>not if you're gonna ask for "summit"
>chimpout engage
>MOTHAFUCKA YOU GONNA HAVE TO HELP SOMEBODY SOMEDAY
>sides pass jupiter
>she's running around in circles and yelling
>GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!
>boy i gon whup ur ass
>arch hose so it can reach her
>she comes closer
>keep the hose on her face
>as it levels out she's hit straight in the face with one of those firehose nozzles
>the look on her face as water jets into her nose and mouth and her massive lips flap like sails torn by a storm at sea will, god willing, be the last thing I remember before I die
>she runs off and starts yelling at passersby "YOU SEEN DAT HE SPRAY ME DOWN WIT DA HOSE CUZ HE DUN LIKE NIGGAS"
>back inside, kek on the floor in tears for 10 straight minuites

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=PSH0eRKq1lE
tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MagicalNegro
twitter.com/AnonBabble

>walking in city with friend
>we freely use the word 'nigger'
>still use the word when afro canadians are around
Canadian niggers are docile senpai. I feel bad for u americans and ur poorly trained monkeymen

About 10 years ago, in my early 20s. I was at the gym, I used to be in very good shape. Was waming up on the bench with 225. A big black guy takes the bench next to me and puts up 300.

He does one shitty rep and bounces it off his chest. Gets up and starts flexing. Sees me warming up with less.

He looks at me, laughs and says "let's see you do 300."

I look back at him and say "let's see you pay a mortgage and feed a family of four."

His face goes blank and walks away. Couple of bigger white guys laughed.

Doesn't seem like this ever happen user

Well done, good sir!

>in the showers at college
>nigger opens the door
>"Ayo who dat!"
>say my name
>"Who?"
>say my name again
>"Show ya face nigga!"
>peek out the shower curtain at him
>"oh"
>he leaves
>mfw

No doubt he was there to see if his life-partner, Tryashawn was in the shower, lubing up his already mucus caked asshole.

Lmfao

>high school
>boxed as an amateur
>nigger decides that he wants to fight me
>beat nigger mercilessly and throw him down a set of stairs.
>mfw his brother wanted to go too.

Way down in our beloved Dixie there are simply too many stories to recount.

Lucky u didnt get knifed from behind

Kek

>walking to friends house
>2 black people (r a r e) approach me and my friend to ask for directions
>give directions
>woah those guys were black

I love the stories that never happened thread
>start working in nyc
>on the subway home from work
>2 jiggaboos walk onto the train with a boombox
>start playing their savage gorilla beats and start ushering people to move away from the poles
>i don't move when he motions at me
>they do their junior high dance routine, swinging from the poles and doing flips
>"thank you for your time ladies and gentlemen, and this dude who didn't move, boy he look stupid"
>tell him the only one who looks stupid is the degenerate dancing for pennies
>he gets up in my face
>he's missing teeth
>"whatchu bein sarcastic for man?"
>ask him why he's dancing for shekels on the train. maybe if you had some teeth you could get an actual job
>"man don't be askin bout my life"
>he starts puffin his chest and says you lucky i don't knock you out right now and gives his boyfriend a high five
>i laugh at him and stare him down smiling
>they just waddle off the train grabbing their dicks
I'm glad I don't live there anymore. Such a disgusting soul crushing place.

>be mexican
>no black people just indios and cholos

>neighborhood keeps getting loud hiphop music blast around
>discover where they're driving from
>go to their neighborhood and blare youtube.com/watch?v=PSH0eRKq1lE
>they always stop what their doing and look confused

How did you escape with your life

>sitting in Intro Music Theory class freshman year of college
>about half an hour into lecture, hear knock on the door
>kid in the back opens the door
>old Black dude with a black beret, sunglasses, and a walking stick walks into the room, sits quietly in a chair in the back
>nobody really notices except me and a few other kids
>half an hour passes, nothing
>all of a sudden, in the middle of the lecture, the Black guy stands up
>"excuse me, professor, may I play something for these wonderful people?"
>nigger_what.jpg
>he walks up to the piano at the front of the room
>sits down
This is where I began to think it was a dream.

>he starts slapping random keys on the piano, does so for about 15 seconds
>suddenly stops, then plays a smooth jazz melody
>stops
>goes on a non-sensical tirade about nuclear warfare
>points at two students
>"You might be in love tomorrow. Who knows? Fuck that!"
>more slapping
>same melody
>gets up, leaves, never see him again

>once my friend and I saw a nigger on the street

wew

>my car is smoking
>low on oil
>pull into sheetz to get some
>try to use card to pay
>declined
>da fuck
>older black man behind me buys it for me
>'gotta keep that oil fresh son'
>put oil in car
>man comes out and jabbers with me for a minute
>get back in car
>buddy of mine says "what'd that crazy nigger want"
>I laugh at first
>then feels ruined the rest of my night.

Yu-S mar reens, force recon, yep. Had to make a lot of tough calls, things were often tight, sometimes too tight.
But I had enough, now I'm just a mercenary giving directions to black people

Another story that never happened
>jr high
>on the bus at school waiting to go home
>little nigger two years younger from my bus stop is hooting and hollering at the top of his lungs in the seat in front of me
>tap him on the shoulder and tell him to shut the fuck up
>he laughs and just gets louder
>he's overweight and was wearing a large white hoodie
>it rained earlier in the day so I take off one of my slip on shoes and wipe a massive brown streak of mud across the back of his white hoodie
>"ayo what the fuck you tryna' fight?"
>tell him no i just want you to shut the fuck up
>he tells his older brother who is in my grade, also overweight and just as dumb
>"man when we get off the bus we fightin'"
>laugh at him and say ok it's on
>a few people overhear and stay on the bus to watch
>finally reach our stop and the bus pulls away, kids from the bus circle us to watch
>get in stance, big nigger thinks the best move is holding onto my leather jacket as i hit him the the face over and over again
>after hitting him repeatably in the eye socket i hit his nose and he staggers letting go of my jacket, tripped him and he falls over
>kick him once in the stomach when he begs "aight no more man"
>kick him one last time and look at little nigger
>he wants no part of it and picks his brother up and they walk home
>high five kids from the bus
>next day neither of them are at the bus top, their mom drove them to school the rest of the school year
>see them in school the next day, big nigger has a black eye
I don't know why there are black people in the middle of the woods in Pennsylvania.

Not this guy.

I have only seen 3-4 black people in my whole life here i have been all over Serbia.

Had a pack of them inches from my bumper trying their hardest to get as close to possible and laughing. My wife and I were tired and just got off work, we slowed down and turned at a turn lane and they followed us to our old house, then got out to try to beat up some white people for fun until I walked in the house, pulled out a S&W .44, then came out of the house with it. I told them if they are so adamant on trying to fuck with us and harm us, then to go ahead and step on the property and see how quickly they go away. All they did was hoot and holler, then I just called the cops because they weren't going to do shit since they didn't have the upper hand anymore. All 5 were arrested. I also told them if they ever want to die painfully, to go ahead and come back any time as I will be waiting for them. 6 years later not a single blade of grass was ever disturbed.

We eventually moved to a more white area and haven't had a single problem arise, nor have stupid shit happen around other neighbors. Guns are really the great equalizer for law-abiding citizens just trying to live their life. Prior to this back when I was 17 I was shot in the leg by some black fuck and his friend for a grand total of $3 in my wallet. They both went to prison for 8 years over that. That was before cell phones were a thing.

alright I have a few but here they go...

>Me and pops at gas station,
>dirty from working on boat.
>driving beater car.
>Negroid approachs
>Asks for gas money.
>He's dressed nicely
>driving a less than week old car.
Gave him a dirty look and said no.
>Calls me a racist and heads back to his car.

>driving home, different event.
>frantic negroid lady flags me down.
>Asks for change to get home.
I'm dumbfounded, utterly confused,
Ask if she's okay.
> needs to get home after partying.
I drive off.

>when I was 17 I was shot in the leg by some black fuck and his friend for a grand total of $3 in my wallet
Jesus christ, glad you are okay and they got what they deserved.

The sad thing is that you probably vindicated the oppression/racism narrative in the eyes of the single mammy.

>muh ban gunz

I fucking hate the people who have to bring their bullshit onto the subway, that's the one thing I hated most when I visited NYC because you can't escape them, you just have to sit there and suffer.

Not really a nigger story, just crazy old religious nigger story
>standing at bus stop after getting some snacks n' shit
>waiting to catch bus back to campus
>within a couple of minutes of me standing there listening to music n' shit this old black guy in a beige suit comes up to me and starts talking
>I take an ear phone out because I thought he was going to ask me the time or something
>he seems normal and friendly at first
>I think he's done talking so I nod, smile, and put my ear buds back in
>he starts raising his voice
>starts quoting scripture
>I try to ignore him and pretend like I can't hear him
>he gets louder
>I hear him say "take out your earphones"
>I look at him
>he's going full religious schizophrenic
>starts talking about how soon I'll come across a great struggle or whatever
>goes between implying that I might be the second coming of christ quoting the bible
>he keep getting closer to me
>I turn to face him completely and make solid eye contact
>this guy keeps fucking going
>literally 20 minutes of this guy, I was worried he was going to fucking stab me or something
>the bus comes
>I hope that this isn't his bus
>it is
>I get on, show my card
>he gets on and "can't find his change"
>eventually after five minutes of trying to haggle the poor bus driver (a 60+ year old woman) he pays up
>I'm all the way in the back of the bus just watching and hoping that this guy doesn't come back and start talking
>thankfully he didn't
>he sits down next to this younger Asian guy, I think either Japanese or Korean
>the poor guy doesn't know what's he's in for
>clearly barely speaks English, probably a foreign student
>he grows increasingly uncomfortable as this religious monkey in a suit escalates
To be continued

I call bs. I use the word nigger more than anyone I know, but people will give you dirty looks if you say it around anyone that isn't familiar with you.

Also, being Sikh Punjabi helps.

Car broke down and I had to walk to a phone booth. A patrol car literally turned the corner as they shot me. I was extremely lucky. Also, thanks.

>have a CCW now
>know I have a chance

I was alone at a bus stop one night, somewhat drunk waiting for a bus home when a black dude comes out of nowhere and wants to lend my phone. After I give him a pretty straightforward "No." answer he starts reaching for my pockets, this is when I kick him in the stomach and he falls down on the ground. This made me laugh a bit because he was quite a bit bigger than the skinny nerd I was back then. Then he left the scene and I was pretty angry the rest of the night. Don't like physical confrontation of any kind really

>Be me, 7 years old
>Out for a stroll with Mom and Dad
>Black guy in a hoodie approaches
>Dad takes out hands and walks us over to the other side of the street, in plain view of the guy in the hoodie.

Based Dad. May he rest in peace.

>eventually the whole bus is staring and getting uncomfortable
>the Asian guy looks so thoroughly confused that he has just frozen up
>the bus driver asks the nigger to please stop bothering other riders
>he starts yelling at this woman while she's driving
>"you mind your own damn business" and "me and this young man are talking" and other shit
>finally my stop is up after a few minutes of this
>she tells him that if he doesn't get off or shut up that she's calling the cops
>he chimps out and starts talking about how he's gonna sue her ass and stuff
>I get off the bus
>reflect
>realize that this guy probably would have assault me if I didn't have 40 lbs on him and was thirty years younger

Why did my sides suffer from this?

> waiting for my friend to pick me up after work at night
> also be me, 26 year old white w*man in a liberal shithole
> happen to be alone in "downtown" part of my city. Did I mention it was night time? ~9pm.
> see two huge youths walk my way, talking loudly and aggressively. I just pretend to be very interested in my phone
> when they get to me they force a convoluted threat for me to buy them liquor. "I'm old enough to drink!! I just don't have my ID!!"
> tell them sorry, I can't risk it. I was in their shoes once and it sucks, but it's the law :^)
> the two of them chimp OUT and get in my face. Start screaming how all white people are Racist. I almost shit myself, finger my pepper spray
> luckily they see some more black people up the block and race towards them, drunk, screaming at the top of their lungs

>"You might be in love tomorrow. Who knows? Fuck that!"

Why did I lose my shit to this?

>live in kind of poorish neighborhood, but it's ok
>always hanging out with my one friend
>we like to listen to music in my friend's car because it's the only stereo we have
>always enjoy latest hip hop albums on my way to work, it's the only time I smile
>hip hop is the only thing that makes me smile so I listen to it kinda loud and get into it
>one day minding my own business mowing my lawn
>some obnoxious white guy revs his truck by blasting Scottish bagpipe music at full volume making faces at me
Why

kek

I know exactly how you feel.
>sitting at home after a longer and hard day of work at the chicken processing plant
>go out on my porch for a smoke and to watch the sunset
>wave to my neighbor whose mowing his lawn
>I get ready to walk over and ask him how his pregnant wife is doing
>suddenly this jackass playing some sort of waling music or whatever, sounds like someone put a pipe up to a large deflating ballon, comes driving through
>he gives us the finger
Fucking white people

>Work at sports park with black coworker
>Culturally Enriched Basketball Americans enter
>Start playing ball when the courts are rented out to someone else starting in like an hour.
>Fuck. Know exactly what's going to happen.
>Ask black coworker to shoo them off.
>"Cause I'm black?"
>"Yup."
>He goes and asks them to leave, saying we had people coming soon for the courts.
>"Fucking house nigga man we just trynna shoot some hoops fuck yall nigga."
>This goes on for a while until I come out and say the same thing he said.
>"Shut up old head you fucking raciss we just playing you can turn around and get the fuck outta here."
>Shrug at coworker.
>He just shakes his head.
>They finally agree to leave when we threaten to call the cops for trespassing
>"I fucking hate niggers."
>I fucking love non-nigger blacks.

Yep exactly, and especially when it's a half hour+ ride from Manhattan back to Queens.

>sand-nigger calling nigger-nigger niggers

i can't even

I was at a friend of a friend's wake when this thug from Ghana decided it was completely appropriate to say to this kid's open casket, in front of the deceased's relatives, "man, that nigger owed me 20 dollars."

>see groid walking this morning when coming out of tesco
>hands in pockets, hood up
>suddenly two cops run past me out of nowhere
>groid starts to run
>cops give chase

I wonder if they got him.

>From mexishit Fresno area of commiefornia
>go to visit long beach for job interviews
>black guy laying near statue in a nigger/homeless infested park
>"ay kid you got a smoke?"
>tell him I don't have a smoke
>"OHHELLNAW, THIS KID DONT SMOKE"
>all the homeless look at him like a fucking nigger
>keep walking down street trying to find a wells fargo
>"AYO HOL UP LEMME COME WITH YOU"
>he gets up and runs across street
>yell for police a block away to help
>police shoots X26 taser at black dude
>"UGUUHGH UHUHUH MAN DAS COLD DAWG, I JUS WANT THEM SMOKE"
>police calls for back up, 2nd officer smacks nigger with stick

fucking los angeles is freaky. never again.

They really are.

>at work
>waiting for people to show up for the shift change
>guys gonna be late
>new person asks who guy is
>say "a tall black guy with glasses"
>everyone literally drops everything and stares at me wide eyed and slack jawed
>guy shows up
>"do you know what user called you? A tall black guy with glasses!"
>he doesn't care because he is a tall black guy with glasses

well, tbf, the court was rented out an hour from the time they started playing?

couldn't you have had the house nig tell that that they could play for like 20 minutes, but they eventually had to go bc the court is rented out later?

Bre i saw a black person walking down my street in zarkovo, wtf

I love it when shit like this happens.

Because you're a worthless fucking nigger

tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MagicalNegro

>"do you know what user called you? A tall black guy with glasses!"
What a faggot the guy who did that, I hope the fury of a thousands dragons fall upon him chinese bro

>no black people just indios and cholos
Really? I live in mexico city and I see a ton of niggers, but they are cool niggers because most of them are from african embassies

I have family in Veracruz and they have been infested by illegal immigrants from central america, they literally act like niggers begging for money to eat and "ask" for money in the local shops because otherwise they will have to go back to a life of crime if they dont have money to eat

pic related is how many of those faggots look like

kek

Everyone hates niggers.

Never gets old

he should have been offended

Last winter a friend and I were talking outside by the alley. The alley is a very steep hill. We look up and see two dindus walking down from the top. Ice and snow everywhere. We watch as one slips and falls on his ass. The other one tries to help him up and falls two. First one manages to stand up for about three seconds before falling again. This time he slides face first dowhill about ten feet. The other one falls again. We are cracking the fuck up. This goes on at least three more times until they give up and just slide and crawl the rest of the way down. We are laughing so hard we are crying and I can't breathe. Nig #1 stands up on the flat area near us and say something like "fuck yoo laffin at nigga sheet be [unintelligible]" and steps toward us acting hard. Sure enough he falls on his ass again but loses a shoe this time. The shoe shoots away and he stands up again and starts hopping so as not to get snow all of his sock. Falls again. Nig #2 just keeps his head down as we continue laughing. He mumbles something to #1 and they limp away.

We tell the story sometimes to people and it still cracks me up.

my fucking sides

>dating 8/10 qt nigress
>go to her house for 4th of july couple years back
>4 big black brothers, one plays basketball and 2 playing football in div1 teams, 1 expected to go in nfl draft ( ended up going 2nd round)
>mom is typical chubby black woman with tits the size of a cars tire
>dad pretty fit, doctor
>do shots with gf and her lesbo sister in driveway since alcohol isnt allowed in house before going in
>big container of red kool aid on counter
>dont mind if i do.jpg
>amazing grits, greens, cornbread, ribs, and fried chicken
>sitting at dinner table, some r&b music playing from a bluetooth in the middle of the table
>everyone eating and chatting for a while
>some song comes on they apparently all like
>they all drop their food and start dancing at the table and singing along
>pic related, mfw
>song over, they all go back to eating
>im sitting motionless holding a rib in my mouth
>gf knees me under table and i start eating again
>was rather pleasant day, lit fireworks too

broke up with her 2 weeks later cause she didn't like to give blowjobs. whats with black girls and not wanting to suck cock?

Blew air out of my nose.

San Fran is horrible too. I visted there once and rode the Bart. Some hipter white kids with two hippie niggers were playing guitar and dancing while smacking a bucket. I just wanted to ride in peace after a long flight.

This happened probably 4 or so months ago
>be me
>Sophomore in college
>go to college in a nigger infested city (ODU in Norfolk, VA for those who know)
>go to moes southwest grill with my roommate Zach every monday
>get to the moes and step out of the car
>I see a black woman who looks homeless wandering around the parking lot
>ohfuckherewego.jpg
>she says "excuse me!"
>I try to ignore her but Zach gets sucked in
>she says she needs money
>"Look yall im 58 years old I have a place to live I have money i just need anything you can spare"
>she pulls out probably $50
>she continues to nag us saying "ive been trying to get money these two guys wanted to have sex with me in they hotel room but im not doing that"
>doubt.jpg
>Tell her we have no cash because we dont just credit cards
>"theres a rite aid across the street with an atm please help me"
>Zach is too weak to resist and proceeds to walk over to the atm and give her $20
>mfw Zach wastes 30 minutes of my life on a homeless person. I just wanted moes...

I have other Zach stories if anyone is interested

she probably does for the man she was with on the side.

>"You might be in love tomorrow. Who knows? Fuck that!"
Well, were they?

no one is interested in your gay childhood blog posts

Nice

...

You sure? The one where he gets black out drunk is pretty funny

If he didn't the cop arresting her nigger punks would have. If anything it's probably her fault the little niglets became shitstreaks.

This is a nigger thread, chose a different thread for non nigger stories please

Nice digits. He wears white jordans thats pretty niggy

this happen about five years ago
>drive home from work
>guy in a car in the left lane is going the same speed as me
>have to get into left lane to do a U-turn
> I slow down, he slows down
>I speed up, hes speeds ups
>fuckit I floor it
>I hit 90
>get in left lane and I do the U-turn
>guy is following me
>pull into my and so does he
>fuck, shit is about to get real
>get out
>he gets out
>big black nigger
>starts ooga booaging ooking howing and shit
>Yo be cut me off white boi
>im beet your ass
>tell him to fuck off
>I head to the house double time
>I hear got somting for yo ass
>Shit this is bad
>go to room and grab gun
>get back to the front door
> open it step out
>he's at the bottom holding a metal pipe
>he starts to come up the stairs
>I rack my slide and points gun at nigger
>I started to pull the trigger
>he stops and mumbles something
>gets in car and leaves
>my heart is beating out of my chest
>I go and masturbate

Nice grandpa nig

You should get an award or trophy, or something for making me laugh again!

Watermelon Harvest is happening in Alabama right now. The Chimps are getting restless.

May start a rumor that muslims bought every Watermelon in the USA. It would be genocide!

I experienced similar thing regularly when I was bodybuilding. Get them on the bench or squat rack and they can't move shit even when the use terrible form. I'm pretty sure all black athletes use steroids and the descendants of slaves / breeding for strength thing is 100% bullshit

>be me, 6th or 7th grade
>mulatto (but not super fair skinned) friend
>big 8th grader comes and throws trash at him
>says "throw this away, nigger"
>he submissively smiles and does it
>I am confused and angry
>I would never do that
>"why would you do that?!"
>he says that I don't understand
>our group is talking about this immediately after at lunch which just began
>I say "would you like to sleep on my porch?"

>Free pass to kill a nigger and you don't take advantage of it?

why did you live/work in the ghetto? I've NEVER allowed myself to be anywhere near/around blacks.

niggers dont speak chinese

Nah Sikhs are poos who decided to clean up their act and kill sand niggers.

learn the difference between slow/fast twitch muscle fibers

u know what to do,
be a master

Should of saved everyone sometime and just killed the thing

A little pre-story

>Scrawny white kid
>Getting southern US high school edumacation
>A game called "bloody knuckles" was all the rage
>You just punch each other's fist until one starts to bleed or quits
>Play everyday
>Me and friends all have flat knuckles and gimp monster hands after years of this

Fast forward 3-4 years, in flunkers English

>Everyone black except me
>As a show of dominance one of the nigs challenges me, the scrawny white kid to a game
>"What's the game?" I ask
>Bloodyfuckingknuckles.jpg
>The large dindu extends his lotion-ed up baby soft cocoa buttered hand
>I clench my leather gimp-fist as hard as I can and swing for the fences
>Whole class is shocked as massive dindu has retreated to his desk, clenching his bleeding fist to his chest
>"Do you punch bricks at home or something?" The nigresses ask me

After that, the rest of the dindus challenged me. All lost.. I really hope the stupidity of this makes it sound more believable. Because it's essentially how I ended any bullying for rest of that year.

They really do have soft hands tho.

Niggers don't fuck with white people who aren't afraid to say nigger.

Just like a nigger to duck a debt.

>big nigger has a black eye
Kek, you mean two back eyes, nose, ears...

>Also, being Sikh Punjabi helps.

Why cant you just be a normal human?

>has to explain bloody knuckles
Are you telling me there are some soft cucks on here who never played bloody knuckles or quarters?

kek

sad. old black people are alright.

>be half-black
>parents divorced when i was around 10
>go to visit black relatives a few times a year
>older family is very nice and regular
>younger family is retarded, 16 year old cousin has a baby she can't support

what happened

We used to play bloody knuckles with a quarter. Two people would sit opposite each other on a table and you would spin a quarter. Each person would take turns flicking the quarter to keep it spinning. Whoever fucked up the spin would have to press their knuckles down on the table while the other person would fling the quarters into your knuckles.

black girls give the best head, you lost out

In reality I didnt know if I was in the right to shoot
had he charged me I would have shot, but he took two steps up the front stairs saw the gun and turned around

We had that version too, but it didn't catch on as much.

We needed a more mobile, inclusive version. So kids without quarters could play. On the go.

Thank god you didn't get hurt

All I can say is I can't go to work without some random nigger outside asking for a cigarette at least three times a day.

no green text

>be me, first week of college, at new apartment
> friends drive up from home town. we get drunk
>have no weed
>be on balcony when 12 yr old black guy rides past in bike
>drunkenly yell WHERE DA BUD AT?
>Young Negro yells back he will come to door
>reveals himself to be delivery boy for brother
>he leave and comes back with the bud
>first nigger i talked to in new city sold drugs