Write the opening crawl Sup Forums

...

Episode VIII
THE LAST JEDI
War! The New Republic is crumbling
under attacks by the ruthless
warmonger, Kylo Ren and his
dark master, Snoke.
There are heroes on both sides.
Evil is everywhere. The Force has
awakened.

In a stunning move, the
fiendish First Order leader, General
Phasma, has swept into the
New Republic's temporary capital and
kidnapped Princess Leia Organa, leader
of the Interim Galactic Government.

As the First Order Army
attempts to flee the besieged
capital with their valuable
hostage, Luke Skywalker, The Last Jedi.
and the mysterious Rey lead a
desperate mission to rescue the
captive Princess....

>synopsis of TFA

The White Nationalist Empire has been thoroughly BTFO by the diverse duo of multicultural potency

>its been an hour since the events of THE FORCE AWAKENS

IN A WORLD

Something something the Knights of Ren assembling.
Something something Snoke.
Something something Poe Dameron and Finn together on a mission.
Something something Rey and Luke training.
Something something The First Order is in ruins.

It is a dark time for the Resistance. Although the Starkiller Base has been destroyed, First Order troops have driven the Resistance forces from their hidden base and pursued them across the galaxy.

Evading the dreaded First Order Starfleet, a group of freedom fighters led by Poe Dameron has established a new secret base on the remote water world of Manaan.

The evil lord Kylo Ren, obsessed with finding the Last Jedi, has dispatched thousands of remote probes into the far reaches of space....

It is a dark time for the Rebellion. Although the [[STARKILLER BASE]] has been destroyed, [[FIRST ORDER]] troops have driven the Rebel forces from their hidden base and pursued them across the galaxy.
Evading the dreaded [[FIRST ORDER]] Starfleet, a group of freedom fighters led by Luke Skywalker has established a new secret base on the remote ice world of [[JAKKU 2]].
The evil lord [[SNOKE]], obsessed with finding [[OLD]] Skywalker, has dispatched thousands of remote probes into the far reaches of space….

you fuckers I was literally in the middle of doing the same thing when I updated

goddammit

Here are the jedis there they go lasers in hand to fight evil kyle ren and that other guy but here comes luke and ray to save... that's right the day they are the last jedi and that is the name of the movie.

Why does "Rebellion" sound so much better than "The Resistance"? I guess it helps that you can call Rebellion troops "Rebels" but nobody ever call Resistance troops "Resistors". Also it's short for Rebel Alliance, I guess.

"THE RESISTANCE" just sounds really juvenile for some reason.

Han Solo died
Kyle Loren is his son
Death Star 3 was destroyed
toothy girl found Luke
the x-wing pilot is GAY

It's especially stupid when they aren't even the rebels anymore, the first order is.
But you gotta keep that underdog mentality going I suppose.

This is reddit this is memes

It is a dark time for the
Rebellion. Although the Starkiller
Base has been destroyed,
First Order troops have driven the
Rebel forces from their hidden
base and pursued them across
the galaxy.

Evading the dreaded Imperial
Starfleet, a group of freedom
fighters led by the newly
returned Luke Skywalker
have established a new secret
base on the remote snow world
of Froth.

The evil lord Kylo Ren,
obsessed with finding
Luke, has dispatched
thousands of remote probes into
the far reaches of space....

I'll try spinning in a grave, thats a good obituary

So The First Order should be practically non-existent by now, right?

underrated kek

...

she doesn't do anything?

...

...

It is a time of great sorrow.
Upon learning of the death of her beloved Han. Princess Leia lapses into a deep depression. Eventually dying from a broken heart

Hearing of this Luke Skywalker with the help of Rey, Chewbacca and the fighter pilot Poe endeavor to to infiltrate the First order and bring Kylo Ren to justice but are caught by Snoke's imperial guard.

Meanwhile back in the nigger encampment...

Perfect/10

If this is supposed to be right after TFA ended, why does it look so different?

Perfect

>It is a dark time for the
>Resistance. Although the Starkiller
>Base has been destroyed,
>First Order troops have driven the
>Resistance forces from their hidden
>base and pursued them across
>the galaxy.
>
>Evading the dreaded Imperial
>Starfleet, a group of freedom
>fighters led by the newly
>returned Luke Skywalker
>have established a new secret
>base on the remote snow world
>of Froth.
>
>The evil lord Kylo Ren,
>obsessed with finding
>Luke, has dispatched
>thousands of remote probes into
>the far reaches of space....
>
>NOTE: Leia died on the way
>back to her home planet
ftfy

Rian Johnson shoots in kino

>2017
>going to Sup Forums
>saving Sup Forums screenshots

It is a dark time for the Resistance. Although the Starkiller Base has been destroyed, Knights of Rey troops have driven the Resistance forces from their hidden base and pursued them across the galaxy.

Evading the dreaded Knights of Rey Starfleet, a group of freedom fighters led by Kylo Ren has established a new secret base on the remote dessert world of Tat3ine.

The evil lord Rey Palpatine, obsessed with finding the ability to act, has dispatched thousands of remote probes into the far reaches of space....

There is unrest in the Resistance Senate. Although the FIRST ORDER has been splintered, Leia Organa has mysteriously died and the Resistance hero Rey has vanished. The agents of Kylo Ren have begun to foment rebellion on Outer Rim systems, and there are whispers of an even darker lord...

On the hive world of CORELLIA, FN-2187 and Poe Dameron are investigating yet another alleged sighting of Luke Skywalker. Most Resistance fighters no longer listen to such reports, but they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about the band itself...

>nothing about you're mother dying in her sleep

fuck off r3ddit

Resistance is strong!
Even with the destruction of the Starkiller base,
People of the Resistance haven't stopped their attacks.
Liberating many planets under First Order rule, the brave heroes continue,
Yet, the dark forces of the First Order are far from backing down.

Torn after the death of Han Solo,
Orders are given throughout the galaxy in sad tones.

The recovered Finn and Poe Dameron have joined forces in a new plan
Hoping to strike back when their enemies are in a vulnerable position, they
Intently fly to their next destination,
Soaring the stars, filled with courage!

On the other side of the galaxy,
Rey continues her search for Luke Skywalker.

Young and hopeful, she finds him in a lonely star, surrounded by
Only himself, and the quiet life of solitude.
Until she can convince him to join their fight,
Rey will stay with him.

Matters of the heart have made him stoic and destructive,
Over the years and after much disappointments,
Master Luke prefers to stay away from problems in the galaxy.

Despite his defeat attitude, the new hope doesn't give
In to defeat. Maybe Skywalker sees some of his young self in Rey...
Eventually, they will fight together, and
Save the stars!

Meanwhile, in Ireland...

So it's gonna be reestablished that she's a Mary Sue by becoming a Jedi master 20 minutes into the film?

Episode VIII
The Last Jedi

The Rebel Alliance is decimated by a surprise attack by the First Order's Fleet, forcing General Organa, Finn and Poe on the run.

Luke Skywalker trains Rey in the Jedi Art's, discovering that she is so good that he is not needed, causing him to seek solace in his porn collection.

Kylo Ren, wearing his new improved Edgelord helmet, attends the First Order's Tyrant of the Year contest, hoping to win the coveted Golden Dick...

it's like poetry...