A Short History of Important World Events

1215: Barons of King John draw up the Magna Carta, and invent democracy

1687: England's Brave Issac Newton invents gravity. Everyone stops floating around.

1707: England and Scotland, the two greatest nations on Earth, unite to form Ubernation Great Britain. The world looks on in awe.

1781: Great Britain starts the Industrial Revolution by building the world's first iron bridge. The world thanks Britain for dragging them out of the stone age.

1859: England's Brave Charles Darwin invents evolution. Will be used to troll Americans for centuries to come.

1928: Sir Alexander Fleming single handily kicks death in the balls by inventing antibiotics, saving billions worldwide

1942: Alan Turing invents the computer and defeats the Nazis. The British government call him a fag.

1953: Watson and Crick invent DNA. No one else understands.

1972: David Bowie releases the seminal The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars.

1989: Sir Tim invents the World Wide Web, the internet, WIMP, email, wi-fi and Sup Forums, all in one afternoon.

1997: Wing Commander Andy D. Green OBE, Uses superior British engineering to becoming the fastest man on earth, smashing the Land speed record by more than 100km/h

2012: Great Britain hosts the Greatest Olympics of All Time. The world bows down in amazement. England's Brave Andy Murray cements GB's reputation by becoming the Greatest Sportsman Ever.

2015: Sir Tysonious Furington defeats the evil communist Russian boxer Wladimir Bitchko freeing the world and boxing from his tyrannical reign and once again proving English warriors are the greatest the world has ever seen

2016: In the aftermath of the unrivalled success of the greatest British film of all time, (Star Wars: The force awakens) the rest of the world concedes that the planet would be better off under British rule once again

2018: Football comes home once again as England lift the FIFA World Cup

I, too, read "1066 and All That"

Alfred the Cake...

>no beatles
>no 66 world cup

You forgot 1066 when we raped your shithole and brought shit m8

Are year m8

To be born an Englishman is to win first prize in the lottery of life

>and invent democracy
>in 1215 A.D.
>Anglos

The eternal one strikes again with altering history itself.

>we
Those were the same vikings that pillaged Paris

yeah, everyone wants to be bald at age 23


also, your twenty-something women look worse than thirty-something birds in continental europe

Shoulda put USA brutally rapes the U.K. In combat and gains independence.

Also the soviets won WW2, not Britain lmao

says the man who's sister just scrubbed my toilet and father just washed my car

Britain seems to be a heaven for your people

>german soldiers in Britain - 0
>German soliders in russia - 4mil

Britain killed the nation that bloodied its nose, while liberating its faggoty neighbours. Russia killed the nation that fucked it in the arse.

I'd rather be Britain to be honest

Ah Poland, this great nations supermarket toilet cleaners

>id rather be Britain

Said no one ever.

Also ya let's forget about the Germans absolutley raping England. They didn't invade your nation because it was irrelevant and would have crumbled in days. They were focused on the true threat that could/did stop them, the Soviet Union.

>its an americans rewrite history episode

I don't know if these series is meant to be ironic or if they really don't know history

>forgetting 1992: football is invented

NOUS ÉTÉ VIKANGZ N'MERDE

>They didn't invade your nation

They tried but got BTFO

Makes one super proud lad

*waves white flag*

*kneels*
*has race war*
*gets shot*

Based

>britain
>lost a war to the zulu nation of africa
>they had spears
>bongland had rifles

it's even funnier because it's true.

I will fucking batter you.

The new Lampard and Gerrard?

I think this is the best post I've ever seen.

/hoc/
>statistics
>analysis
>facts

/cric/
>OGALA BOGALA WHERES DA BALL

Sup Forums really is the British Delusion board

>no 1966: Pickles the dog found back Jules Rimet trophy wrapped in a newspaper under a hedge

Was not invading Sweden a mistake? They don't seem to have the right level of respect for the greatest Empire of all time

Give us a call when you create the largest empire in human history famalam

>being this autistic about something you contributed nothing for
>on a sports board

Brits I laugh at you

O no a mountain jew is having a giggle, how will we ever recover?

...

brits ive thought about it and take everything i said here back and apologize for being a twat

It's pasta which is probably older than, fucking newcunt.

FIFTY YEARS OF HURT

>2016 lost 2-0 to some inbred vikings

> btw the Stuarts were Breton's

...

Good man

I've not seen it before lad, calm the fuck down why don't you

Mate you were ruled by us for fucking centuries. And you're still speaking our language lol. You're welcome for bringing you into the 21st century and sparing you from an entirely potato-based existence.

>They didn't invade your nation because it was irrelevant
hmm

>WE WUZ ANGLO AND SHIT

kys larper

>he forgot to had the one time that football actually did come home