'MURRICANS ARE SO FAT, DEVICE APPROVED TO SUCK FOOD OUT OF THEM

nbcnews.to/1tuAW7G
>The Food and Drug Administration approved a new and unusual weight loss device Tuesday: an external pump that dumps part of the stomach contents into the toilet. Some critics have called it "assisted bulimia" but the device, approved for use in very obese patients, helps them lose on average more than 12 percent of body weight — far more than pills or most diets.

>The Food and Drug Administration approved an external pump that dumps part of the stomach contents into the toilet called Aspire Assist. Aspire Bariatrics The device is considered minimally invasive and includes a tube that goes from the inside of the stomach to a port on the outside of the abdomen. The pump can be attached to the outside port as needed to remove about a third of the stomach's contents at a time.

>Clinical trials showed patient lost an average of 46 pounds during the first year and another few pounds to make 50 pounds of weight loss by the second year.

"The AspireAssist device should not be used on patients with eating disorders, and it is not intended to be used for short durations in those who are moderately overweight," the FDA said in a statement. "It is intended to assist in weight loss in patients aged 22 and older who are obese, with a body mass index of 35 to 55, and who have failed to achieve and maintain weight loss through non-surgical weight-loss therapy."

>Diet drugs don't work terribly well and doctors are reluctant to prescribe them. This new device is the first to remove food that people have already eaten before it can be digested. The company has not said how much it will charge for the device, which is on the market in Europe. A surgeon will also have to implant the device in a short endoscopic procedure, and that cost may vary by center.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=INfEyMvb2-E
youtube.com/watch?v=u0hWKQFUYV0
lowerthought.wordpress.com/complete-notes-to-good-calories-bad-calories/
youtube.com/watch?v=R-o7YG3x0DI
nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/medicine/laureates/1949/
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

>a fucking food dumping hatch for the stomach
>AspireAssist™
Sometimes I wonder if capitalism was a mistake.

What happens with the fat after it's been removed?

It becomes an ingredient in McChicken sauce

This wont change anything. If it does help fatties lose weight, they will just regain everything they lost when they get taken off of it. When will people realize lifestyle change is the ONLY solution?

OR YOU COULD STOP GORGING YOURSELF

...

Amerifats will eat 24/7 now.

>fuck getting people to stop eating so much

>we'll just let them eat as much as they want, and then fucking pump it out of their stomach later

>"Patients eat less with this therapy then they did before," she said. "People think patients can eat whatever they want and then aspirate it and that's just not true. It has to be liquid enough and the particles have to be small enough to get through the tube."

Flushed I assume.

The idea to remove food from the stomach before it has a chance to be absorbed by the body. Whenever lolbertarians try to make an argument to me in the future about freedom, personal responsibility, and self-control I will now point them to this thing.

If its jewish fat it wll be made into soap.

>instead of eating less or maybe running around for a few minutes a day, some people would rather carry around an external stomach with pumps and shit that actually penetrates your skin and has tubes and wires running across and through your body

what in the fucking hell is wrong with this people?

>body mass index of 35 to 55
kek, mines 34-35, last time i checked anyway

...

it goes into the water supply and feminizes more children

>Implying they already dont.

looks like the person in the first picture just has to take a really big shit

I don't get this. Why don't they just not eat so much? Doesn't that make more sense?

Somehow I doubt fat cells die when frozen

they're fuckin nutrients. what the fuck?

I hope this procedure kills millions.

>This wont change anything. If it does help fatties lose weight, they will just regain everything they lost when they get taken off of it.
>when they get taken off of it.
What if like cholesterol pills and diabetes insulin they never do? This is their new life now.

fucking tim and eric were right for gods sake this was meant to be comedy

youtube.com/watch?v=INfEyMvb2-E

kek

kek. In his defence, i dont think hed eaten for 20 minutes prior.

This is how far society has fallen, we have people with no self control and now need a machine to stop them from eating too much.

Just fucking end it all.

lol pretty much

>Vomitoriums with no vomit
>instead have clinical machines to suck the food

Decadence but with an Apple Inc touch

youtube.com/watch?v=u0hWKQFUYV0

its been around for a while now, don't think there have been any deaths.

>Connect the out hose to your mouth

- "Nelson, what are you doing?"

- "I'm solving world hunger".

Reminds me of the latest stages of Rome where people became so decadent that they would eat a meal, vomit it up, then eat again just for the pleasure of eating.

Reminder that it didn't have to be this way

>Looks like the SnackSack™ is actually entering the market.

fat fuck. you worthless piece of shit.

>fat cells
>CELLS
>nutrients
kek.

But honestly, it depends on what temperature we are talking about.

For example, normal cells in lab are frozen at -80C and become REALLY fragile.

Step 1: stop eating fucking hamburgers.
Jesus fucking christ.
Use the fucking exercise equipment that your renters association put there.
Absolute worst case: replace half your food with grass, or something else the human body can't process.

I'm sorry you guys..
If it makes you feel better, I have an idea for a way to solve it...

I have seen this shit on tv a few months ago, thought the one guy that had it was fucking insane
>Becomes the norm in the US
Top fucking kek

It is not removing fat, it is removing everything. Like, a hole in your stomach that doesnt let stuff get into your intestines, where you properly absorb the nutrients and calories.

nah, fitfag. Working on getting into bodybuilding

b-but slow metabolism!

I'm not sure exactly how these fat cells are "safely expelled from the body" like it says in step 3.

All in all it's just another excuse for fat shits to be fat shits. I'm really starting to hate the obese more than any other group of people. To ruin your body because you're so lazy that all you do is eat non-stop is absolutely unforgivable to me.

I'm at the point where I don't even want fats to lose weight. I want them to get fatter and fatter and die. I'm sick of seeing fat people everywhere I go, it disgusts me to no end.

>properly absorb the nutrients
>implying Americans eat nutrients

>Vomitorium having anything to do with "vomit"

So basically an object that sucks out HCl out of the stomach? What the fuck.

yeah i'm not getting it either...
do they just suck your gut through a frozen vaccum tube and what? let the cells die? cause that WILL kill you. and if it doesn't it would leave massive scarring to your skin, it would get gangrenous and so close to your core, you'd be fucked.

Lelmerica. I think it's easier just to eat less calories. It ain't that difficult. You get used to eating less within days, and if you try to eat more you'll feel like you overate.

we should have nuked ourselves

Checked, and it's not too late.

>I've tried everything and I just couldn't keep those extra 200 pounds off! It started to affect my marriage.

>She was too fat for me, and I'll sleep with anything!

>I cant into slowly eatin less of an usual serving and or eat slower
Amerikkka fk yeah

Jesus christ... I'm sorry you people have to watch us invent new ways to eat more food.

>clinical trials showed patient lost an average of 46 lbs during the first year and another few pounds to make 50lbs of weight loss by the second year
You could lose so much more in less time if a person just exercised...

...

calories are not the issue in the modern obesety epidemic.
Here's a very interesting read. I recommend the full book though.

lowerthought.wordpress.com/complete-notes-to-good-calories-bad-calories/

Welfare is the problem, 99% of these people are on some sort of welfare. They wouldn't be able to have this lifestyle otherwise.

its a thyroid condition ;^)
that sounds sus af desu. wouldnt that give people fucked up levels of cholesteral and all kinds of problems if there was all the sudden a shit load of fat released into the varias sytems of teh body?
disclaimer idk a damn thing about it
if that person gets hit in the stomach or sleeps on their stomach i imagine tey would just insta kill from the stomach contents spilling everywhere, seems even more dangerous then the lapband thing

Well we could give food to Mexicans but last time we did that they doubled in population. Fuck that. I'd rather eat it than make more brown skin shit stains.

do you now understand why people hate ameica? it's not your "freedoms", it's that you're mostly a bunch of disgustingly inept lazy shitters

They kill only the fat cells

You don't technically need those cells to live (well, most of them if you are obese). Your body's only reaction is to slowly push them out of the way and into the disposal systems of your body.

"which is on the market in Europe."

AspireAssist by Cinco?
youtube.com/watch?v=R-o7YG3x0DI

>not going on a bender and chunking it in a vomitorium for the lulz
no u

What is harder, eating less or getting a hole drilled in your stomach? What the fuck man.

>320 lbs
>but are active and healthy!
>his dick too small to fuck my fat ass
the entitlement is palpable

top lel
>mfw amerifat store greeters are now equipped with margarine and a crowbar.

Wouldn't that freeze your actual flesh though? Doesn't fat have a lower freezing point than water??

<

New diet, you stay at the store until you're thin enough to leave.

Fat has a higher freezing point than water.

This is why it works. It freezes the fat and causes gradual apoptosis.

Fat cells are weak, skin is strong (and already dead)

Do not question the pseudo science!

>Do not question the pseudo science!
Retard

>american's literally becoming cows

nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/medicine/laureates/1949/

Go get one it was medically approved to.

>6"
>relatively small
hahahahahahahaha holy shit women in the US are such size queen hambeasts

no wonder dragon dildos are becoming normal

[spoiler]i have trouble with 4 inches to be honest but then again I don't have 320 pounds of fat in the way of my butt[/spoiler]

wow gg fat shaming fucks .
docs wont prescribe diets because they would have to cut back on there pills , docks make $$ off testing pills on there genii piglets.
so the solution for me was telling the docs to get fucked I lost 156 lbs in less then 6 months by cold turkey going off 6 prescript drugs.
fuck you doc I will see you in hell for what you have done to my civys.

Americucks you gross me the fuck out

Here. I lost 40lbs in 2 months by just eating steak, broccoli, protein powder and the occasional Mac n cheese.

What if we made dungeons for people to go through? Like an obstacle course or something, with foam ball canons and other cool stuff.

Am I there yet?

No, I can't feel anything!

Apply more turkey grease.

Can't. There's none left.

Bitch! You ate all the lubricant already?

It is dead, until straum granulosum.

He tried to warn us, but we wouldn't listen, creep.

As if they wouldn't just Kool-Aid Man there way to the exit.

>nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/medicine/laureates/1949/
That has exactly jackshit to do with this.

Does this mean he can eat Oreos again Sup Forums?

...

Can Sup Forums honestly just STFU about science if you don't work in the field? Leave it to /sci/

The blatant superiority complex that exists in some users here claiming to know more than they show is ridiculous.

But calories are the issue. If you ingest more calories than you consume, you gain weight. If you ingest less than your body consumes, you lose weight. It really is that simple. It works for weight loss every single time. You cannot be obese without ingesting more calories than your body consumes. It doesn't matter what the finer points are (like the link you posted). No doubt our bodies get messed up when we eat like obedient carb consumerists, but the reality of the equation remains regardless.

Kek
I love the "aaah" moment

kek, w/e nigger.

I started watching my caloric intake a few years ago, started at 6'0, 300lbs, now 190lbs and cut. It IS as simple as eating too many calories. Even if you 'estimate' how many you're eating, you're sure to be eating over that. And if you're not even paying attention, gonna be way higher.

You might as well take steroids if you are going to use shit like this to lose weight

Pretty sure he was out of air

It's a miracle
Us fat people are victims

I think fat asses are just going to get so hungry that they start eating 24/7.

They will probably eat liquid mayo for hours and the machine will end up breaking.

I'm going to get shit for this but Fuck it I'm getting one. I'm 36% body fat and can't lose weight no matter how hard I try. I see people eat the same as me and weigh less than a bird! Some people (probably a majority of you too) don't understand that genetics do play a role in fat absorption rates.

>If you ingest more calories than you consume, you gain weight. If you ingest less than your body consumes, you lose weight. It really is that simple.
dont say this, fatties will get triggered because it's not actually that simple (even though it's more than good enough advice to use to stop being a fatty)

why not just make DNP illegal? social Darwinism can come into play as well

there are places like that called "challange rooms' or something like that basically part normie ninja warrios/puzzles also the tough mudder stuff has blown up and now there are a ton of random competition races like that for non athletes
no siad it doesn work, everyone is saying your gross af if you get to that point and that the problem is not big bones or whatever other retard excuse

...

It more about calorie density, than calories in and of themselves. Fat and sugar are so calorie-rich for the amount of mass they take up that the average American dinner plate can weight the same as those of other nations but nevertheless have a 30-60% more calories.

Have you always been overweight?

they play a role but not that big of one. the people who eat like you probably have more physically active lifestyles. you know why obese bartenders and waiters dont seem to exist? its not that they dont hire fatties (though they dont) it's that they're always running around and heaving kegs and pallets of fruit around and shit. but people who work in offices are always potatoes, because they spend 8 hours a day sitting on their ass

start biking to work or something, fatty

This opens the door for excellent new juvenile pranks.

>sneak up behind walmart fatty
>turn his tap on
>giggle as his sudden hunger makes him aware of the leak

I only eat the stuff on the right, works great.

Eat 1500 calories per day for a year. Problem solved.