Walk into theater bathroom to pee

>walk into theater bathroom to pee
>see open urinals
What do?

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Shit in them

Wait until I get home. I have a shy bladder.

Are you implying that there would a problem?

fpbp

Limp into the disabled bathroom.

One day you'll figure this bathroom stuff out, Pajeet...
One day.....

Why would you limp? Just showing your face would be enough.

>I'm disabled!

....Acid

Proper selection is second from the left.

Because of the shitty modern interior design last time I peed into the bathroom sink instead of the urinal

I'm a 21 year old male and have never used a urinal ever in my life.

No it isn't. It's the furthest away from the door.

You didn't have to include the male part for two reasons, you know that?

I use my penis to pee inside of the open urinal.

youtube.com/watch?v=dDZzl9AyXeg

use the one in the corner, face it at a 30 degree angle, and lean in as much as possible so no one sees my chode

It's because these exist that I realised that I have a small penis

Not the furthest but so what? Is that too far for you to walk?
It means you won't have people walking behind you to get to the next one over.

What kind of homo are you that you're looking at other peoples dick? Not once in my all my life have I ever seen another guys junk using urinals, even really crowded ones.

Funny, I had the opposite experience

Anyone else notice that manlets always go into a stall to pee? Even if there are tons of open urinals with dividers.

>What kind of homo are you
D-do you really want to know?

>proper selection is second from the left
>no it isn't, proper selection is the furthest away from from the door
>UM SECOND FROM THE LEFT ISN'T THE FURTHEST OKAY IS THAT TOO FAR FOR YO UTO WALK? I KNOW YOU SAID PICK THE FURTHEST ONE WHICH MEANS MORE WALKING DISTANCE BUT I'M GOING TO ACCUSE YOU OF NOT WANTING TO WALK BECAUSE I'M A FUCKING IDIOT WHO CAN'T READ

How are you disabled?

Looking a dick that is literaly 30cm away from you is far from being gay

Start on the right than shuffle back and forth using every urinal. Don't flush.

underrated

youtube.com/watch?v=dDZzl9AyXeg

leg disabled

Make you Sup Forums cucks libtards suck my big fat Sup Forumscock and cum and shout MAGA

>It means you won't have people walking behind you to get to the next one over.

But that's exactly what they're having to do to go to the left-most one.

beat me to it oops

Literally everywhere in my country, the only thing it made me realise was that most of the other guys are feeling exactly the same way and really have little interest in seeing your dick or you seeing theirs.
And if your dick is sub-average, well, you knew that before going to that toilet. To be honest, if that's the problem, just catch a peek sometime. Will bring your confidence right back up, especially since in cinema you can notice that the small dicked guys can indeed pull sexy/cute/loyal-looking women as their dates/relationships.

*pulls pants down to ankles*

>"No it isn't. It's the furthest from the door"

First of all, your statement was vague and secondly who the fuck pees in a corner?

It would be too awkward to start using a measuring tape

I only use urinals in public. At home I pee sitting down.

How do you not know how to use the urinals?

whoops!

Do you have a wheelchair?

how many of you guys are really having anxiety issues when peeing on public? i mean, i've always wondered the whole mental phenomenom after i found out that many of my friends have issues with the whole thing, so im kind of curious.

This.
Why wouldn't you want to use the urinal furthest away from the door so that you could stand slightly diagonally with your front facing the corner.

Straight guys always goes to the one next to the door.
If you want to hook up in public bathroom you go to the one furthest from the door and wait.

>tfw you try and pee as loudly as possible so others know you're not shy

Didn't you hear the news, being a virgin over 16 means you are disabled.

I usually take 2-3 steps away and unleash. Not only do I show off my piss marksmanship, but the betas next to me realize they can't compete with my schlong. Sometimes I might get a few droplets of piss on them but they're too wussy to say anything.

>Nobody takes the centre urinal

Nobody here is willing to make the power move.

I wouldn't want others thinking that I portray myself as a man for using the urinals.

>tfw having a small bladder

>tfw 20 years old and having to get up in the middle of the night to pee
Pure suffering.

There was nothing vague about it you're just a literal retard

its only a problem if i have to pee but not that much.
then it takes a second for it comes out but it feels like a hour if there are other people there.

whenever i used the urinal and somebody came in, i could not pee for some reason, now i just avoid it and go to the stall.

>Circumcised
>Kike doctor who did it fucked up and nicked into my urethra opening
>When I pee it goes all over the fucking place like a sprinkler
>Have to pee sitting down

I want to kill all the Jews tbqh

if I don't know anyone
>piss right next to someone and rip a fart because I'll never see them again

if I'm with someone I recognize
>awkwardly pretend to text and wait for them to piss first

I like to run sideways while pinching/unpiching.
BTW I'm 38, this is my only joy.

see a doctor

>tfw of Jewish descent but had atheist parents who let me keep my foreskin

Feels pretty good

I got a kidney problem so thats probably it

i always considered it impolite to not size up each other's dicks at the urinal, like even just giving a little nod or heads up to show the other guy you appreciate that you both have penises

it's healthy to remind all of ourselves of the differences between us and no matter how big or small his penis is we share the same deal with that said i still prefer the stall because if you have people on both sides of you it's harder to share the experience since you have to move your head left and right

You really don't understand that you did not specify what you were referring to by "it" at all? In context that could either refer to the correct urinal, or the second-from-the-left urinal that I was referring to. I'm not you, user (Thank god), I don't know what you're thinking. That's why we use language.

What if you accidently shart yourself?

How does australian urinals even work, if there are any?

remember anons, two shakes is enough, more than that and you're playing with it.

I'm considering starting using them but do not want to be seen as a weirdo.. please define a shake

>shakes
Doesn't get all of it out. Press up on your gooch to squeeze the piss out that would normally dribble out when you sheathe.

okay ill it drip on my pants because user told me on the interwebs this is the only way

in between a shake and a squeeze

real men always drip a little, its the only way to get that dick musk.

would wrapping my willy with toilet paper be weird? it would catch any drops what didn't get out

I always dab a bit of paper on my coc

squeeze? what

I never did any squeezing. what purpose does this serve? where do I squeeze, and how hard and for how long?

>ill use paper like a girl while at a urinal
shake till you stop dripping you fucktwats

what if I milk it like an udder

its not a actuall squeeze.
but close, and dont forget the shaking.

then your playing with it.

>on

heh

Not at a urinal. Don't think they even have paper available within arms reach most of the time anyway.

I will use it when I'm at home or if I use the private cubicle restroom type thing though.

I fucking lose it every time

you still didn't tell me about where, how hard and for how long. also it's purpose

just rub it on the pants of the dude next to you

...

Do I ask permission first or is it like an unwritten rule type thing that its OK to do?

its not that hard user, why dont you try it and see what happens.

that only works in a gay club if your really alpha

Permission is assumed, using the urinal is a contractual sort of thing.

I'd be disrespectful if you didn't

what insecure people think: everyone will see my massively huge dong if i pee in a urinal

what really happens: nobody gives a shit about your dick and you can't actually see much unless you're standing too far back and trying to show your dick off. nobody cares if it's big or small or average. You're there to pee not get married despite what the average closeted bicurious Sup Forums poster would have you believe.

For how many seconds do you guys pee..? whenever I happen to listen in on someone peeing they always pee for what seems like forever. also the intensity of their stream sounds quite loud too.

I pee for like 6 seconds tops, including the stream dying down. This isn't normal, is it?

female poster spotted

what?

kek

Drink more water user, it's good for you.
Especially if your pee is darker yellow and smells.

You're a funny guy user

No, the first rule is no talking in the mens room.

I've hated this meme since i was a kid and didn't know what fapping was. Keep on wetting your underwear faggot, meanwhile i'll be dry and clean.

I get it now. Non verbal communication only; only eye contact and such.

Leg... disabled

depends. I don't pee for very long because I drink a lot of water and thusly pee often (my pee is almost clear quite often)

Thanks

Will do

Perhaps the reason for me drinking like 4-5 glasses of water every time coming home from work was because of my lack of water drinking.

Whip out my micropenis and use the cubical.

>Keep on wetting your underwear faggot, meanwhile i'll be dry and clean.
fucking this

especially if I'm wearing sweatpants, then fuck that shit, I'll stand there and shake for a full thirty seconds if I have to