You wake up in the swedish empire year 1658

what do you do?

Other urls found in this thread:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Karksi_(1600)
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Wenden_(1601)
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Kokenhausen
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_Wolmar
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_Fellin
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Reval_(1602)
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_Weissenstein
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Rakvere_(1603)
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Weissenstein
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Kircholm
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_Pärnu
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Salis
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Daugavgriva_(1609)
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deluge_(history)
youtube.com/watch?v=_W-fIn2QZgg
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

find qt swede and go cuddle with him

>get drafted into army
>somehow don't get shot
>get dysentery instead and shit myself to death

for real tho, it seems 1000x times better than modern day sweden

Why didn't the swedes take all of norway? Did they fear the norwegian warrior?

Jag heter könsorgan år gammal

invent the vaccines for smallpox and rabies as well as dynamite, get rich selling them

Enjoy the safest and most prosperous time in Estonian history

make Germans eat their own feces in water

kill swedes for the tsar using modern tactics so i could stay alive and slay swedes

Ah yes, the Schwedentrunk. Unfortunately by now the 30 years war has been over for 10 years. You can do it on poles though.

help out the rebellion in trondelag

Also take this guy as war trophy to fuck him

Help build Estonian national identity from early on in order to avoid later clusterfucks

You'll have to get through me first, Russian devil!

Great Northern War doesn't start in 42 years. You'll be a crazy old drunk by then, Ivan.

move to russia

Die from famine/disease/Cossack raid/war/suicide

bretty 0/5

>Russians in peace time

No sadder sight in the world.

Die from diabeetus and lack of food.

>"""empire"""

Please stop bullying us about this
It's only called an empire in English

I'll fap my dick first

Fuckers have it coming desu. Have a quick look at the history of it and you basically bullied a few finnish tribes. Integrated parts of the Livonian order that were so fucking fractured because they never had a coherent system in place. Fucked with Poland a lot because they were scrubs and then got your shit pushed in by Russia.

The Northern war was the only time Sweden ever showed anything approaching excellence and still got exposed as fuck.

France won the 30 year war

Rude

You ruined Kalmar you fuckers

I mean I've got a blindspot here actually. Did the Danes want to implement serfdom or some horrible shit like that or was it just a nationalistic shitfight?

move to brandenburg... fuckin swedes

Es ist unser Heimat... Deutschland über alles! (PS Unsere Kultur ist besser!)

Tell that:

1) Mazepa is a loser faggot whom swedes shouldn't trust

2) bring a lot of food since there is no food when you use scorched earth tactic

3)...

4) Enjoy being a swedish legendary military commander

First rebellion against the kalmar union was to get rid of a g*rman king who was taxing everyone into starvation to fund his autistic rivalry with the fucking hanseatic league
Second was sort of the same - king of Denmark-Norway conquers Sweden, raises taxes and chimps out and kills all the nobility. The thing is that the new king of Sweden after that rebellion didn't really make things better for the peasants but he did modernize Sweden and turn us Protestant.

>explain the concept of a breech loading rifle
>get hung as a witch

To be fair the Hanseanic league brought prosperity to the Baltic man

Its kinda sad really. The population of Scandinavia was always too small to really do much. Punched well above its weight for a bit though. Denmark was pretty based but they were total cunts about it really. If they had been nice to the places that they were the overlords of it might be a relevant country today. Bit of a reality check when you're banging on about being the great I am and then Prussia and Austria turn up to take all your good land and leave you so you can only farm pigs.

"For of all sad words of tongue or pen, The saddest are these: 'It might have been!'"

I would go live a comfy life in Trondheim and live amongst the Norwegians. I'm sure as an English speaker I could buddy up with some Anglo merchants.

Hans was a good boy and you should have helped him conquer Dithmarschen instead of sweding out.

>Who is Gustavus Adolphus

Mmm yeah because leading a mercenary army funded by the British is anything at all

Caroleanian infantry was the only thing he really did mate. And it very much comes under the part of "bullying Poland"

Kiss the ground.

the weak should fear the strong

Sten Sture is the true embodiment of the eternal swede desu

That would be Charles XII

X*

XII was an angel

u swedes are ok, dont go to fredriksten fortress tomorrow

>First he bullied the Danes
>Then bullied ruski
>Then ass blasted Poland
>founding modern-day warfare
>bullies Poland again
>Lion land in germany
>Run around HRE assblasting everyone while getting mortally wounded several times
>Dies
>Still wins

Charles XIIs murder was an inside job.

>was the eternal an*lo's puppet
>Danced well for his masters
>France wins in the end

>you wake up in the sweden
hang myself

Is it true that during the Northern War Swedes had 34 cannons per 200 Russian ones and only had gun powder for 4 of them?

>ass blasted Poland

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Karksi_(1600)
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Wenden_(1601)
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Kokenhausen
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_Wolmar
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_Fellin
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Reval_(1602)
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_Weissenstein
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Rakvere_(1603)
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Weissenstein
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Kircholm
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_Pärnu
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Salis
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Daugavgriva_(1609)

Gustavus Adolphus learned to fight in Poland. He got completely fucked by Polish generals.

I think you are getting the wrong war.
England funded Sweden against France in the Napoleonic wars, France funded Sweden in the thirty years wars. If England threw us some gold it wasn't relevant compared to the support we got from France.

Gustavus Adolphus wasn't king until 1611.

>A bunch of ice and snow
>"""""""Empire"""""""

So this is...the power of sweden...woah.

See

for sure we assblasted you

They annexed territories of each regional power neighboring them and the latter couldn't do anything about it,

Preemptively attack Russia.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deluge_(history)
>we did it cause we were bored

Expose them... AGAIN!

But then Peter The Great pulls a Scythian "scorched earth" tactic and uses Ukraine as a buffer state to weaken Swedish army which ultimately leads to the destruction of Swedish Empire.

El SpaniardiANO
Delet this

It's like a fish out of water.

How come Charles XII looks like Nick diPaolo?

>pic rel

The Jews did it.

>Nick diPaolo

>Jews
Janissaries, probably.

>But then Peter The Great pulls a Scythian "scorched earth" tactic and uses Ukraine as a buffer state to weaken Swedish army which ultimately leads to the destruction of Swedish Empire.
He's not around yet....

lament the fact that it will all fall within a quarter of a century but it enjoy time before that happens

...

It's Great Northern War we're talking about, right?
The rape of Baturyn in particular, I mean.

Go to the territory of new Sweden and poison the area that will become Camden, NJ and poison the earth so it's uninhabitable forever.

When did Ukraine get internet?

Send me a wife you fucker

>dip stands for dipshit

>It's Great Northern War we're talking about, right?
>The rape of Baturyn in particular, I mean.
No the map is 1658. Peter won't be born for 14 years. Maybe I'll stab his mom in the womb.

They do look similar, don't they?

introduce swedish women to my BCC(Big Catholic Cock)

Scitzo Ukrainian, just what we need

A bit but if you've got a gay crush on Nick, he s right wing. A lot of Italian-Americans are.

>It's only called an empire in English
Russians liked to call their empires "tsarstvo". And so did Serbs, Bulgarians etc.

>he s right wing
Yeah, I know. He's an ALT RIGHT faggot just like all the pieces of shit on this fucking board.
I just wanted to point out the fact that both Swedes and Aye-talians are subhuman shitskins who belong in a gas chamber.
Cheers.

...

Ahh Poland, the Ireland of Sweden (and Russia (and Germany (and Austria))).

Are you a LISP programmer by any chance?

A FUCKING LOCAL EMPIRE

Die there so people can know there was a Swedish Empire

I would move to Denmark

kek

youtube.com/watch?v=_W-fIn2QZgg

Danmark-Norway was roughly as powerful as Sweden and got bailed out by the dutch everytime Sweden got close to anschlussing it.

Sweden got Norway after the Napoleonic wars however.

This.

Wake up with my waifu :3

Only sandniggers hate oir northern brothers

T. IBERIAN RACE

cute! :3

Iberians are better than other humans (if they can be called that).

die to famine because swedish crown forbids me of farming rye and wheat couldnt withstand the cold.

>Swedish """empire"""

Actually what's Sweden's take on this?

Denmark has a navy
Navy can be used to transport French troops theoretically
England just shells the living shit out of Copenhagen and sinks their navy
Claims that Denmark was on the side of the French afterwards

wtf man

sweden had a navy too though

...

I use my a academic knowledge to advace the science and replicate some modern inventions, get filthy rich and get titles and lands from the king, warn everyone to beware eternal G*rman and A*glo if they like Europe

...