So what the fuck was hagrid? was he a wizard at all? did he ever graduate from hogwarts?

so what the fuck was hagrid? was he a wizard at all? did he ever graduate from hogwarts?

He got kicked out of Hogwarts before he could take any exams. He's a wizard but a shit one because he's dense, half giant and has a 13 year old level of education.

In the books it was stated that he got kicked out in his 3rd year but Dumbledore let him stay as the gamekeeper

Because she's the author of one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the seriesüf only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but itüfs certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books are g-g-good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King

Intro doesnt even make sense

You didn't even include the image

someone needs to go back to an inferior web forum

>he failed even at copypasta
sad!

>being this lazy

-10 points user

Hagrid is a pedo on the wizard equivalent of the sex offender list
>you're a wizard Harry

What did he mean by this?

He was a half giant, to summarise, his father was a human who fucked a giantess. He was in Hogwarts at the same time Voldemort was in there, and got kicked out because Voldemort accused him of being responsible of Moaning Myrtle's death, but Dumbledore let him stay as the gatekeeper. If that happened right away I don't remember it being specified.

One important detail about Hagrid is that he's at least partially immune to magic, because giants can't be affected by regular spells.

You posted it wrong, dumbass

I remember seeing some art that described the different wands and Hagrid's umbrella was on there as a specialised wand.
My guess is that he isn't very good at magic and was always acting the micky with magical beasts like with Aragog, the dragon egg and Fluffy so he was kicked out or dropped out and then employed as the groundskeeper who teaches some mythical creature classes, I recall in the books he didn't always teach the lessons too.

>someone summoning a badger over a snake
>the situation isn't worse
Obviously not a 'bong. Badgers are evil incarnate.

this comic makes no god damn sense

ayy

He posted it in another thread already.

Half giant.
Yes, but his wand is broken.
No, he got expelled for bringing a giant spider to school.

Harry would have been fucked if he had to fight a giant Honey Badger. Honey Badgers eat basilisks for breakfast. And that's just the small ones.

are you lazy/retarded?

it honestly took me 10 seconds in mspaint to change a single pixel and then the whole repeated image doesn't happen anymore

Maybe you're like that because you rot your brain watching/reading one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the seriesüf only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but itüfs certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books are g-g-good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King

Much better

>giant spider
>the size of a hand

BRAVO DUMBLEDOOR

Well also Riddle did kind of frame him for opening the chamber of secrets

>no picture
>failed intro

Come back when you've learned the basics of memecraft, kiddo.

i always thought Hagrid was creepy as fuck, inviting young children to his desolated hut during curfew. Are there no pedos in the magic world?

kino.

he's a canon pedo

>Hagrid, for instance, has an oak wand, 16'' long; in Britain, the oak symbolises strength, protection and fecundity

he's newt but a fat version of him

dumbledore is the ultimate pedo

...

literally me

It does. It depicts two scenes from the book, altered to fit the "heir of Hufflepuff" theme.
>Panel 1-3
Ginny finds Tom Riddle's diary. In this reality, it's Tim Roddle instead, and instead of being the vessel of a splinter of a powerful dark wizard's soul it's just a regular girly looking "diary" that doesn't even have a lock. Hufflepuffs are just that pathetic.

>Panel 4-9
Harry and Malfoy at dueling class. Normally, Malfoy conjures up a snake that hisses at a Hufflepuff in the watching audience (Ernie MacMillan iirc), and Harry shoos it off by talking to it in its own language (because he unknowingly possesses the rare gift of being a "Parselmouth"). This ability of Harry's becomes important in the climax of the book and sees various more uses over the course of the series.
Because Hufflepuff's trademark animal is a badger, the plot would have to be altered so that Harry can talk to badgers and the monster in the chamber of secrets is a giant badger instead of a snake, too.

Yeah it's not a great comic, but it does make sense if you know what it references.

It wouldn't have been the size of a hand for much longer, and it DID try to eat Ron and Harry when they stumbled upon it in the forest. Hagrid would've just kept it until the first student would've ended up inside its guts.

oh yes yes this makes sense dumbledoor is such a great guy

also do you remember when doubledore sent four 10 years old in the forest filled with monsters and the giant spider that would eat students in the castle so they could be eaten by the spider that would eat students in the castle as punishment for going to be late? oh yes he was a good friend well well

I miss the user who was constantly shilling fan fiction.

Why didn't Hagrid have his wand re-instated and take make up classes after Voldemort's defeat since everyone would've known he wasn't responsible for the Chamber of Secrets incident.

That was Dumdeedum like 40 years later. Senility had finally gotten the better of him.

because that would be creepy for other students

no wizard school can cure wizard retardment

Pretty sure he was banned from using magic due to the expulsion or something. That's why he was able to become an actual teacher after the COS and Tom Riddle shit gets solved in year 2 but he's basically squib-tier like Filch.

>are you
>it honestly took me 10 seconds in mspaint to change a single pixel and then the whole repeated image doesn't happen anymore
>Maybe you're like that because you rot your brain watching/reading one ohise in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the seriesüf only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.
>Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but itüfs cert
>>a-at least the books are g-g-good though
>"No!"nstead that the character "stretched his legs."
>I began marking on the bs repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King
irecting the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable crossbooks. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but itüfs certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

Because by that time he had actually brought dangerous animals onto the premises and had quite a few people injured by them. Notwithstanding the fact that he illegally smuggled his giant brother into the country.
The wand stays snapped.

maybe he didn't want to

wat

Seems to be kind of an exile situation, he had his wand publically broken, and everyone still thinks he was the one who opened the chamber of secrets, so reinstating him would be a clusterfuck (ofc you can use the voldemort-boogeyman).

Also he kind of still can use magic, because a part of the wand is in his umbrella, which he tries not to show off too often

Hagrid cares way more about getting manticores to fuck firecrabs than he does about mundane wand business.

why dont wizards just relace their arm bone with wand using magix so they can cast with theire hands?

>getting manticores to fuck firecrabs
Which is also a serious wizard crime btw

Because if you get a fracture without realizing it and then try to cast a spell then your arm might explode.

Plus there's no real point when a wand just fits in your pocket.

yeah but they cant disarm ur arm

also they could pull a wolwerine with magic

They CAN cast with their hands. Wands just lend precision. They're catalysts.

>Cast disarming spell on internal wand
>Bone flies out of arm

changes nothing

>Hagrid was the real villain all along
>He was using Voldemort's stance on genetics to breed the perfect creature
>He was just pretending to be retarded all along

>literal disarming spell

you have a source for that?

>Billy Madison but with Hagrid

Fucking fund it

Why didn't Harry and the team just use time travel to kill Voldemort when he was still a young boy?

Or why didn't Voldemort do so?

He's a big guy.

What board normally discusses Harry Potter?

Mostly referring to the books

Manticores should be able to fuck whomever they want. Fcuking bigoted wizard trash.

probably Sup Forums, seems to be right up your alley

4u

Not /lit/, that much I can tell you.

>baneposting now being deleted by janitors and mods
Hiro is a fag

/lit/ doesn't like anything that's not Hooker in the Rye

Fucking this copypasta up should really be a bannable offence.

they're also too busy circlejerking to actually read

/cm/, sadly

>not having multiple images for multiple posting

Mods, ban this idiot.

Clearly you havent seen the video of the badger chasing a bear up a tree