You're born in a poor 2nd world country. Football is all around you. You watch your idol and national pride coked out of his mind on national television for the whole world to see. You decide to take a shot at it. Turns out you're pretty good. Good enough for the local team to give you a run in their youth ranks. There you meet a girl named Antonella who hangs around the training camps and you fancy her. You lay your heart out just to impress her but she's more interested in Chad McGiggliovanese. You play a bit and Barcelona decide they want you as a future player. They give you a medical and discover that not only are you autistic, but that you have a hormone deficiency. They offer to pay for the treatment because they believe in you. You move to Spain and quickly rise through the ranks with your future teammates. Ronaldinho says you're special, The world listens. You do well at league level. Now your country calls you up. You grow older your skills progress. You pad goals against thefearless Xerez and Rinconeda Polanco. You grow older. You take your team to the World Cup final, but only after showing Bosnia D who's boss. Things start to go wrong. You lose the final, your lifelong teammates and friends grow old and retire. Your country only loves you when you extinguish the poise Ecuadorians. You look back at your glory days. Your perfectly aligned Sprite cans sitting in your fridge no longer have meaning, You hear about a man by the name of Cris. The mutilator of Munich, the assassin of Atletico. the assfucker of Antonella. Desperate, you seek this man named Cris for answer to your crisis. You find him at his volcanic villa of Madeira. He's surrounded by surrogate mothers and Egyptian steel beams. You try to speak but are deafened by the almost continuous TSUUUUUUUUU's protruding through his CR7® speakers. Defeated you run home, make yourself some cheese pizza and retire to bed. Remembering you brace against the wizardly Watford you embrace in a deep slumber.
You're born in a poor 2nd world country. Football is all around you...
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kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk i love the leaf
>Watford
Wat
> Egyptian steel beams
Fucking kek
...
pretty good
I like this pasta.
watford ruined it
so close
Literally no one is going to read all that shit
i'm pretty sure the term 2nd world country doesn't exist
tldr also argentina is first world
Watford?
>a fucking leaf
>a fucking leaf
>The mutilator of Munich, the assassin of Atletico
>You take your team to the World Cup final, but only after showing Bosnia D who's boss.
tl;dr
bumping for al dente pasta
This
#notallleaves
...
10/10
not so fast
8/10, made me laugh but few errors
>watford
this pasta is so fucking drained, fuck off leaf
>assfucker of Antonella
lmao good one mate
grandiose Getafe/Girona?
almightly Alaves?
You're a savage
>move to Spain
Ummm, sweetie, Catalunya is not Spain.
>He's surrounded by surrogate mothers and Egyptian steel beams
Made me kek. Great post.
>You find him at his volcanic villa of Madeira. He's surrounded by surrogate mothers and Egyptian steel beams
Argentina is the definition of third world you fucking moron
This fucking immigrant can't stop sucking Ronaldo's dick.
"2nd" world does not mean "shitty place, but not as bad as 3rd world." It refers to the Soviet Union and it's allies during the cold war.
That's when you talk to boomers or write papers
When you talk to millenials it means exactly what the other guy said
>inb4 but muh status quo
No its Cold War terminoloy i.e. has been outdated for 25 years.
When you write papers, academics now use "developing" (poor countries) and "developed" (rich countries). They sound optimistic but its better than using words that didn't even make sense 20 years ago.
Read my post again
can someone summarize this? i ain't got time to read all that shit
I thought it was going to be about him being such an autist that it took him becoming a legend to fuck the thot of his class but the pasta was even worse.
It however has lots of references and stupid puns so by reddit standards it equals to "11/10", "GOAT", "E.P.I.C." e.t.c.
surprised yugoslavia was neutral
You think I give a fuck what millennials use colloquially? I'd rather be accurate with my statements, thank you very much.
danke