OCEAN'S EIGHT

>Debbie Ocean (Sandra Bullock), the estranged sister of career criminal Danny Ocean, assembles her own crew of female criminals - Lou (Cate Blanchett), Daphne (Anne Hathaway), Rose (Helena Bonhan Carter), Tammy (Sarah Paulson), Amita (Mindy Kalling), Nine (Rihanna) and Constance (Awkwafine) - to pull off a daring heist against Debbie's manipulative ex-lover, corrupt entrepeneur Alec Garland (Damian Lewis), at the annual Met Gala. The girls are unknowingly shadowed by Danny's associate Linus Caldwell (Matt Damon), who has been ordered by Danny to keep an eye out on Debbie and her crew and help them should troubles arise.

I don't know what to say.

>Rihanna

fukkin dropped

>tying it into the other cast
Trainwreck before you could even introduced Rihanna and shoehorn Matt Damon in too

>Awkwafine
who the fuck

when will hollywood realize women bring down any movie they're in

>matt damon keeping an eye out for them in case they fuck up

I can already see it, he gets caught and they go rescue him and say something like "it looks like you're the one who needs protecting"

I wish trump would do something useful and declare feminist movies/themes in movies illegal already.

Matt Damon needs to keep an eye out in case they fuck up? Sexist.

>tfw Ocean's Eleven is unironically one of my favorite movies and they do this to it

I can picture the tweet now user

Wow, where are all the Muslims and LBGT people. I won't watch or even support this movie since it's not inclusive enough. Say it with me guys #boycottOcean's 8

I loved it too but that movie has aged terribly user.

Most of the scenes look so tacky. And the characters are nowhere near as cool as when it came out

>aquafina

Mindy kalling

....why?
She's some fat ugly Indian from tv, totally buy here as some world-class thief.

I hope it tanks.

>It's aged
Well it's based on capers from the 70's so..

I hate nu-hollywood

>$12 domestic
>$6 international
>Screw you patriarchy!

>love heist movies
>heat, all time favorite
>even joke heist flicks
>even like the mediocre oceans reboot trilogy
>hear about oceans 8
>oh, it's a prequel, they'll do 9 then 10
>and use young actors
>maybe set in the 80's
>nope

I hope it's good, it won't be, maybe I should hope it won't be a disaster

this is terribile

>Nihgranna

All of my no.

this could've been real waifu core if they'd gotten some more young ones. anne is not enough by herself.

Don't worry, they'll pull a fast one on him to show Danny that they're strong women who don't need no man. Guaranteed.

Recently re-watched Ocean's Twelve and can confirm that you're retarded.

They look like fuckin realdolls.
Old bitches need to accept old bitch roles.

Ocean's 11 is the best one anyway. Clooney one is unwatchable due to Clooney.

11 is great, 12 is pushing it, 13 is real shit.

Thats not very diverse and why didnt they get any black actors? Instead they get some satanic fuck toy from the music industry? Yea fuck this geriatric female bullshit

>no salma hyakk?
>no lucy liu?

They could have got some god tier diverse sluts but instead we get this?

That actually sounds better

holy shit how they miss these two?

Black women often name their children after makeup and hair care products. I once had the the pleasure of meeting an Aquanet once.

Pic related.

>Ex Lover
Of. Fucking. Course. Because we HAD to make it "ugh, men".

Fuck you all, Rihanna will be the best part of this.

yup

/thread

So lets see for comedy they could have added

>Whoopie, she also checks off the diversity list

for pure eye candy and actually making want to watch it they could have got

>Salma Hyakk
>Lucy Liu

Again ticking off diversity

But instead they absolutely neck themselves before it's even started with this dead still frame of them all looking like sour faced bitches

Nothing will make watch this

>couldn't come up with a premise better than "revenge on ex husband"

Too bad, I was actually looking forward to this.

...

They aren't sour user, they are suave.

Is it just me or are female characters thematically far less interesting than male characters?
Is it just because I don't understand them, or is it because they're portrayed shallowly, or is it that they really do have less depth than men?

12 was one of the worst movies I've paid money to see.

>Awkwafine

couldn't they have gotten some under 50's like saoirse or like kstew or something. anyone with some moisture in their vagina.

Here is the ruse. She is asian

>First Ocean's
>Danny gets all the guys together for one last heist, probably one of the hardest and most complicated schemes ever conceived and they will need the best of the best to pull it off. Why a casino? Why this guy? We're not sure, Danny is a mysterious guy.
>Later revealed that Tess is the sole reason for him going there. Is funny and surprising and creates tension.

See how the romance ties into the original plot without hijacking or dictating the characters motivation?

in the US, aquafina is a brand of bottled water owned by Pepsi Inc.

bottled tap water

Anne hathway is a shit actress that is the exact type that would accept this since nobody gives a shit about her anymore. Any actress who actually cares about the work they do wouldn't do this

Oceans 11 is still really good


Music is suave as fuck, characters are funny and interesting, robbery scenes are still fun

If you're gonna make an all female reboot, atleast hot females. Hathaway is the only decent looking one and then maybeeee Rihanna

maybe its pronounced like aquafina

ghetto names

I thought it was a shitty black name too, but turns out it's a chink who wants to be black lol. Talk about wasted potential.

If my parents were this fucking stupid (or God forbid I changed my own name) I would literally kill myself. Living 18 years until I could change it myself wouldn't be worth the wait.

mfw they used 8 so that it would be 72% to hit the gender pay gap and it would go 'viral'

Awkwafina is cute

>Rhianna
WHY DO STUDIOS KEEP PRETENDING SHE'S A FUCKING ACTRESS? GOD FUCKING DAMN!

dumb.

I'd put money on this

Me personally, I'm looking forward to this.

>The night before the heist
>Everyone gets their period

and he says it in his will hunting voice. lol

Does any woman actually want to see this movie? The original and remake Ocean's movies made sense from a male perspective. It was a power fantasy males could have about being cool, getting a lot of money, and hanging out with your best friends. But do women fantasize about pulling off a heist? Also, have you ever seen eight women hang out because they're all friends? Women hate each other. I don't understand who they think wants to see this movie.

That crazy bitch from Harry Potter? I'm sold!

If it wasn't for rihanna i'd probably give it a shot. Oh well.

shit cast. Like 3-4 literally who's

>Matt Damon got roped in to this shit

cmon man, have some taste

but they are all really comfy. thats the only reason i watched them

how big will the outrage be when Matt ends up saving day

>It's another episode of empowered women of various racial backgrounds take down the cis white male overlords.
I'm not even white and this shit is getting annoying.

not likely, as others have come up, this seems more likely plausible

Just make Ocean's 14 instead, Goddamn i-
>Bernie Mac

FUCK.

It looks like they all hate each other. This looks like shit and I never even liked the Ocean's series.

What's the point in making debbie related to danny? does everyone in the ocean family have a name starting with d? is everyone in the ocean family a charismatic, attractive bank robber now?
isn't there a trope for this... some combination of flanderization and something else...

It's been 10 years since the last movie.

Time flies.

>its another "Matt Damon needs saving" episode

...

JESUS CHRIST THAT'S LINUS CALDWELL

>l-look she's Danny Ocean's so she does heists too!

Danny Ocean's sister*

...

Don't forget Matty needing to be rescued by the girls

>(Movie One doesn't exist)
>(Movie Two doesn't exist)
>(Movie Three doesn't exist)
>(Movie Four doesn't exist)
>(Movie Five doesn't exist)
>(Movie Six doesn't exist)
>(Movie Seven doesn't exist)
>Movie Eight (spin off)
>(Movie Nine doesn't exist)
>(Movie Ten doesn't exist)
>Movie Eleven
>Movie Twelve
>Movie Thirteen

How did they get away with this?

this has never been funny to anyone over the age of 6.

Oh...

I'm looking forward to this. What made Ocean's 11 (the clooney/pitt remake of Sinatra's original) and Ocean's 13 so good was that it was just a bunch of high-profile actors having fun and making a goofy, entertaining movie. Bullock and Hathaway can do something similar.

The appeal of these movies was never a great story or brilliant comedy. It was just people having a good time and pulling off a silly heist. Bullock and Hathaway have the charisma to lead a female version of that story.

Sextina Aquaphina you pleb

BRAAP BRAAP PEW PEW

GET THAT FETUS KILL THAT FETUS

>Awkwafine
No, we only have Crystal Geyser.

(you)

Hathaway has all the charisma of a child molester but I would watch the shit out of a Blanchett driven heist movie anyday

this is going to bomb badly and everyone is going to blame white males and the patriarchy and Trump.

literally no one wants this movie.

why Damian why

Thanks for reminding me this is in the works.

>just want to see sandra
>have to tolerate all the other whores
Fuck

>attempting to sell female-centric movies on brand recognition alone.

How is this not sexist? Feminists should hate this.

I will only watch this if the characters are gay.

This post gave me the sudden urge to eat a peanut butter sandwich. I haven't had one in years.
Anyway, I'd watch it if there was a funny twist of the women being completely incapable of working together and fucking it all up with their bitchiness. I'd watch a movie plot like that with men too, but I think it's more believable with women. Also is their scheme to just flash their tits while the other half robs?

>>just want to see sandra

>Helena Bonham Carter
>Sarah Paulson
>Mindy Kaling
>Rihanna
Is there a more meme cast than this?
>mfw they fuck up extraordinarily and Linus has to save them

>tap water
>drinkable in the United States

>hmmm, so Oceans 11 was a witty character driven heist movie full of the biggest stars of the day allowed to have fun and let their charming personalities really entertain the audience

>rihanna
>Anne Hathaway
>some literally who Indian off The Office or something
>The dolphin from Bojack Horseman

Wow its flopped already

>>>>

Isn't Cate Blanchett and HBC far less likely to get into a film like this though? I know Anne was going for a serious actress mode between 2005-2008 but I think RGM's flop disencouraged her (even though she got supporte by academy)

I think she doesnt like being the sexy girl in comedies but thats what pays