Did Voldermort have to see Prof Quirell shit everytime he went toilet?

Iimagine proffesor Quirell taking a nice dump. Voldemort has to stare at his ass as the poo fumes also go up his nose.

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What if Quirrel was a bottom and his power top had to stare into voldemort's eyes as he pounded away

haha

Kek

*BrrRRRAAaaAaPP* hehe

...

He just pooped old-style

Designated shitting spells.

>and a series of magical tunnels

So THAT'S how that giant fucking snake was travelling around the castle using "the pipes" in the walls. I've been wondering about that for years.

Why does he have a nose here?

he grew one to help block the smell

lol, poo and ass xD

Fun fact, prior to adopting the muggle invention of toilets, the Wizarding world simply shit and pissed themselves on the spot when they needed to go, and magicked it away.

is this canon? non-potterfag here

>Alright mate, plumbing job isn't it
>Tsshhhhh.... oooh... magic pipes is it... right...
>
>
>I'll see what I can do

jeeeeeeeeesus christ

alright let's settle this once and for all. would you fuck Quirell's ass while making eye contact with voldemort for hours, only occasionally stopping to kiss him and eventually cum all over his face?

no homo

....................or..........?

Where is the copy pasta guy?

Driven off by the sheer faggotry of this thread.

Yes, it's from Pottermore.

Where the fuck did they vanish it to? Were they just shitting in their pants?

I wonder if such an experience would be worse than being tied to one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

Took your sweet time...

Jesus Christ

So one of Slytherin's direct descendants knew where the Chamber was but didn't do anything to kill Muggles with the monster he just decided to rearrange the plumbing?

>be Quirrell
>have to shit
>take off all clothes including turban
Was it autism?

>be young wizard from a muggle family
>just found out you're a Wizard a few days ago
>on the hogwarts express for the first time
>excited but kinda nervous too
>looking for a place to sit down
>sit down next to this other kid
>thinking about introducing yourself
>suddenly the guy just drops the nastiest, smelliest shit you've ever fucking seen right in his pants
>trying not to drop dead right then and there
>guy is completely unfazed
>flicks his wand about and says "removus me poopus"
>just goes back to whatever he was doing before
>yfw

who doesn't shit naked

Now I want a prequel about the founders with hot young Rowena Ravenclaw pissing all over Hogwarts.

The school obviously wasn't infested with muggleborns in the 1800s, so no reason to unleash the monster.

Fantastic shits and where to smell them.

Harry Potter and the golden shower.

I wonder if wizards handled abortions in a similar fashion. *fetus deletus*

So why even adapt the plumbing? The old-fashioned way seems quite convenient to me.

Saya best girl

Why does Voldemort still have his nose on Quirell's head?

Unironically great lore.

>in the eighteenth century
>Dumbledore was born in 1881
>he mentions needing to go to the toilet and coming across the room of requirement, filled with chamber pots to fulfil his needs
>mfw Dumbledore grew up in a backwards family who still just shat in chamber pots and quickly disappeared it instead of using toilets like the fancy Hogwarts people did, and then he kept doing it into old age instead of going to a flushing toilet in the night

No wonder he wanted to conquer the muggles when he was a kid. He wouldn't even embrace toilets.

it was only in the moment the picture was taken that Quirell would drop the most nasty fart in the history of hogwarts and voldemort realized that having a nose is a mistake.

The obvious answer would be that there'd be some students who were shit at magic and thus unable to vanish their excrement. Flushing toilets takes care of the retard problem.

That or you can't actually make something vanish without transporting it somewhere. So all the wizard poos used to just rain down on muggles.

>all the wizard poos used to just rain down on muggles.
that just seems like another argument to keep doing it the old fashioned way.

Anybody else think it's fucked up that Harry intentionally killed somebody when he was 11? After learning that skin contact causes Quirrel's bodyparts to burn and fall off he runs at him and grabs his face.

So if kids aren't allowed to use magic outside of school then do they have to get their parents to vanish their shit? If Molly and Arthur Weasley go away for a weekend and leave the kids at home is the Burrow covered in shit when they get back?

>wherever they stood
what the fuck

there you are!

Harry was a really fucked up kid, so not really surprising.

this i fucking killing me. and I just realised something else, underage wizards weren't allowed to do magic outside of school. does that mean up until the age of 17 you had to ask somebody else to magic the shit out of your pants?

underrated post

I wasn't ready for this kek

>having to vanish your kids shit every day until they finally turn eleven and can get their own wand and do it themselves

No wonder wizarding families didn't outbreed muggles.

They had the elves or whatever, literal slaves who they treated like ass anyway
Why didn't they just order them to always make sure that all shit is cleaned immediately

What if.
What if India actually has a huge population of really incompetent wizards. Spooky.

These contradictions will appear every single time you spend some serious thoughts on HP lore

came here to post this

>Shart in mart

Rowling should have had Harry growing up to become the next Dark Lord
First it was Grindewald, owner of the superwand, Dumbledore's bf, defeated by him later on and imprisoned then killed by Voldemort, Dumbledore's student, murderer of Harry's parents etc, and then it would be Harry, again Dumbledore's student and Voldemort's nemesis etc
Literal Pottery

>remove me poopoos

My sides

...

1881 is 19th century dumass

exactly, they're saying that at that point toilets had been implemented but dumbledore still used chamber pots

Right you retard, they had plumbing in Hogwarts since the 18th
But Dumbledore was still doing his business in chamberpots it the 19th

Learn to read.

>*fetus deletus*

Shartum almartum

Despongify

Have to? I think you mean GET to!

It's still there, just invisible.

This is gold

Did Tumblrdore turn gay because he had to clean his sisters shits for years?

But the concept of "plumbing" has existed for at leat two thousand years...

Don't forget he also had to clean her periods.

Tell it to Indians.

SHART IN HOGWART

>wizards were behind humanity forgetting all about plumbing after the Roman Empire fell, because they didn't like muggles being cleaner than them

nice transition

How the fuck did wizard girls deal with their bloody vaginas?

You didn't come up with this. Pathetic that you actually tried to pass it off as your own joke.

Indians invented it

What does plumbing have to do with that?

I should annotate my posts every time I reference someone elses is joke? Are you mental?

Nothing, but if they didn't care about using plumbin like a muggle for thousands of years I doubt they also cared about the invention of tanpons

Same way muggle girls did, except they didn't have to do their own washing?

>How the fuck did wizard girls deal with their bloody vaginas?

>brave new world low tier and 1984 high tier
every god damn time

House elves lick their pussy clean.

Fucking kek

I imagine the well off wizards had designated toilet elfs that just sat in one room of their house all day and when someone needed to piss or shit they just do it in the elf's mouth 2bh
I think Rowling came up with that feeble af excuse to avoid explaining this part of the lore
I mean they just shit their underwear and pants and whatever then remove it with spells? Sounds like a way too complicated method when you have an actual race of thoroughly broken in slaves that would probably welcome the chance to swallow their master shit

Of coursh!

Is this the real reason Lucius was so angry that Dobby had been freed?

...

What if the wizards in India scare the muggles away from the toilets just to mess with them?

youtube.com/watch?v=_peUxE_BKcU

Reminds me of those abo song videos about not sleeping in the middle of the road or sniffing petrol

>Presenting the First Poo Song in the history of India!

>wizards have a spell to get rid of shit
>decided to use toilets

NAH

FUCK OFF ROWLING

>scat fetish
Into the trash

>Wizards have a basic everyday spell to just teleport material
Uh huh ok

wizards eventually became so full of shit that the spell would remove the entire person and they had to find another way.

This is way better than dullest franchise, I hope this is in every HP thread now


>Wizards looking down their noses at muggles thinking they are so superior as they shit their pants

OH SHIT I'M FEELING IT