FARTUS RELEASUS

FARTUS RELEASUS

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=DJzgTZ68g9g
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

GASUS PUNGEUS

CHAIRUS SNIFFUS
youtube.com/watch?v=DJzgTZ68g9g

SHITTUS VANISHUS

COCKUS ERECTUS

shitpost maximus

If only one could so easily release one self from the drudgery of one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

PASTA PASTUS

Father, please! Stop embarassing me!

>be wizard circa 1800
>walking down wizard road in the wizard part of town
>big bowl of stew last night suddenly makes my anus clench
>I HAVE GOT TO SHIT
>hitch up my robes
>OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
>yeah that's a nice big shit
>SHITTUS VANISHUS
>shit turns invisible
>carefully slog through the 2 feet of invisible shit and walk to work
deepest lore

PENIS WEENUS

Do you think there are spells in the HP universe to make the victim piss their pants uncontrollably? Do you think kids make each other pee themselves in class as a prank? Haha just asking for a friend haha.

Is this list suppose to be bait?

Crucio would realistically make people piss themselves. It's supposed to hurt more than having your fingers chopped off and that definitely makes people piss themselves.

This would only happen in india tho

Did Newt piss his pants when Graves cast sheev lightning at him?

>not knowing that Rowling said Wizards literally shit on the streets until the late 19th century
somebody post it

...

WELDUN HOWEVERUS

It makes you wonder where all that feces goes? The law of conservation says matter can neither be created nor destroyed just recycled into some form or another. It seems tedious to use magic to figure out all the time what to recycle the atoms of wizard shit into each time it is disappeared. It seems more likely that there is some place, like another dimension, where all the wizard shit is sent to every time it is spelled away.
What would it be like to unlock the key to this dimension?

>rowling universe
>laws of physics
pls stop

>It makes you wonder where all that feces goes?
We yesterday established that the vanished shit and piss rained down on muggles.

>a cute wizard girl will never giggle, drop her knickers, squat and pee right on the floor in front of you

>"Harry did I ever tell you about, oh do excuse me-"
>Drops his robes, exposing his bony pock-marked ass and dangling wrinkled balls.
>Shits out a slurry of rank feces.
>Flicks his wand at the steaming mound of dung, a few tangled gray pubes sticking out of it
>"Poopus Scoopus"
>"Ah that's better, now where we"

ACCIO DUBS

BRAPUS SHITPOSTUS

REDDITUS GOBACCHUS

Why didn't Voldemort make his poop a horcrux and then send it to the same place as all the other wizard shit?

>You're move, Potter

...

...

ACCIO KEKUS

CHECCIO EMMUS

It's Accio KekusAH!

how can one person sustain this levels of degeneracy?!

BIGGUS
DICKUS

JANITORIO GRATIS

REMOOVUS ME POOPUS

FETUS DELETUS

DULLUS POSTUS

MAGUS FAGUS

UNO FARTO

Lurk more