“We like zonal marking! Youtube compilations are disgusting! We don’t like defenders who are obsessed with smashing long balls to the strikers! We want the midfielders to take care of playmaking!” they would say.
At this point, I started getting annoyed with their behavior, and asked them the following question:
“What type of centre back are you looking for?”
They paused for a second, and replied “Well, obviously a tall and commanding guy that’s not going to expose the team to unnecessary risks, and on whose marking, intelligence, aerial prowess, and tackling abilities the team can rely.”
At this moment, I had a big smirk on my face, knowing damn well that what I was about to say next would cause them to flip out.
“So then why do you want to get rid of Paletta for meme guys like me?” I exclaimed.
Fassone and Mirabelli were silent for a few seconds, and then suddenly went full bitch mode.
“You’re such an asshole, Leo! You don’t talk to Milan executives like that! Go fuck yourself! You don’t know what a managing director likes!” they screamed.
Of course, their words didn’t faze me.
I just sat there in a calm and collected fashion, as I sipped on my cool glass of lemonade.
After about 5 minutes of them ranting at me, I cut them off and said “So when will you make me Milan's captain. Next Tuesday or next Saturday?”
They quickly glanced at each other, as their eyes and mouths widened.
“What did you just say???” they barked.
“You heard me. Will you make me Milan's captain next Tuesday or next Saturday?”
Interestingly enough, they started giggling and eventually began playing my game.
They would say things like “You are so bold! You are so bad! Grande campione!”
Just as expected, they were coming on to me.