How do we get big strong americans interested in soccer?

how do we get big strong americans interested in soccer?

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why is brady's palm all bloody?

>tom brady
>big
>strong

Soccer is for third world countries. It's the one thing we let them have. Be thankful.

6'4 is pretty big I would say

>Everywhere in the world that isn't north america is third world
fat

you have to be wide as well to be big in america

>sharts

He was throwing. These guys are throwing at the speed at major league baseball force so the friction wears on their hand. Yes they are throwing that hard.
brady is 6'4 235 lbs dumbass.
people don't realize how physically big tom is because his frame is freaking huge.

He's got 20 inch biceps or bigger than Mark wahlbergs arms during the Pain and gain movie. He's physically bigger than ben affleck during his batman run. He's a huge fucking guy but has no fat on him so it throws everyone off. He doesn't lift mirron muscles at all. His calves are about the size of a 2 liter of coke bottle. He's just jacked but has no showy muscles at all

We don't because soccer is fucking gay

lmao gay hahaha

Can you also describe how the base of his dick tastes and how it feels to have his balls slapping your chin? Sounds like you have a lot of data points.

brady is so fucking dreamy my god

Hmmmm

sounds like you are the guy wanting to know how his dick taste...

cough cough GAY

>He's got 20 inch biceps
i can tell you for free he doesnt
pic related has 21" biceps also whenever you here commentators say a guy is "4%bodyfat" thats also bullshit brady isnt that lean

He has a repitilian face going on there, so I don't really like that.
This is what top performance looks like. Big Anglo Man.

Easy.

1. Start using American terms for the sport instead of sissy Euro terms.
2. Stop naming the American teams after European clubs. No, it is not New York FC or Atlanta United, it should be the Atlanta (Bird) or New York Renegades or some shit.
3. Allow the ball to be passed with hands or feet.
4. Eliminate offsides.
5. Create a scoring system based on pic related
6. Guarantee no relegation for MLS teams and allow teams to relocate as needed.
7. Eliminate the MLS salary cap and the existing limits on number of top-paid players and foreigners on rosters.
8. Allow substitutions to happen throughout the game and players subbed out can return.
9. Implement timeouts.
10. Clock stops on fouls, injuries, etc.
11. Eliminate "stoppage time"
12. No ties; overtime period is played, and then a shootout to determine winner
13. 30 second shot clock to prevent teams from hogging the ball in shitty defensive formations
14. 15 seconds to advance the ball past mid field
15. Infraction to pass the ball behind mid field when already advanced into mid field (ex: NBA half court violation)
16. Celebrations after goals result in a penalty
17. Teams get three yellow cards per half before opposing team gets a penalty kick, then penalty kick for each yellow beyond that
18. Teams get five regular non-card fouls before the above happens
19. Red card gets an automatic penalty
20. Teams can employ multiple goalies at the same time
21. Tackling players will no longer be a penalty unless the player is in the process of a shot, but only if the tackling is done with the hands. Kicking people and sliding into people will be a foul.
22. Opening possession will be determined by throwing ball in the air and having a player from each team try to tip it with their heads
23. Elimination of aggregate games
24. MLS championship game will be called the World Bowl
25. Game will be divided into three 30 minute periods.

What the fuck is that thing on the left?

lol no

...

well go ahead and play your one point 10 shots per game queer faggot ball then, poofer.

>how do we get big strong americans interested in soccer?

Make it less of a candy-ass game.

Get rid of 0-0 ties all the damn time.

ok

me on the left

>3. Allow the ball to be passed with hands or feet.
That's so dumb.

>Eliminate offsides.
To let a player stand still in the adversary area just waiting for a pass? No

>Allow substitutions to happen throughout the game and players subbed out can return.
That would favor big teams against small teams.

>Create a scoring system based on pic related
Most interesting idea, but would be idiotic teams losing a game doing shots from the midfield.

I know that this post is satire, but please end yourself.

>losing a game doing shots from the midfield

So? The Warriors do that and they won a championship in the NBA. The game would adapt.

+1

>That would favor big teams against small teams.

Soccer teams have different roster sizes?!?!?! That's f%#$@&d up! Team rosters NEED to have the same amount of players

+1
That dude is 6'1 you dork brady is 6'4 6'5

It's not about the quantity but quality. A Top team would have a million Dollar bench while a small team would have even worse players in the bench than the starters.

It needs to be the same to be a legit sport

#3 already exists. It's called Gaelic football
youtube.com/watch?v=EjvUld0shh8

Women

I didn't know gay lickers had their own sports.

Promote it among lower-income kids instead of middle class kids

>Sports Teams should all be equal

'''''''''''''no'''''''''''''

Then what's the point? Equal means a more competitive sport. Lopsided crap that you like is for insecure babies like you that need to cheer for the stacked team.

What would be the best sports city in the United States for me?

I am looking for a city where soccer is the most popular sport and practiced among people.

where MLS (major league soccer) is the most popular professional league and the most dominant.

where they have only been champions in the soccer of the MLS and have only won the MLS Cup (or at least where they do not have any professional championships)

where soccer teams are always the most popular, the most loved and the ones with the most fans.

and where the teams of the NFL, MLB, NBA and NHL, are always losers, without fans, not popular and that are the biggest embarrassment of their

Seattle Washington

STOP MAKING FUN OF US!

Seattle is not an option for me.

It has to be ubn where Major League Soccer is the Most Dominant Professional Sports League.

and where the MLS team is the most popular team and the team with the most fans in their city

Seattle is the closest thing to what you want. Nothing else will even come close.

Consider Philadelphia.

This is what perfection looks like.

this. well, not those girls specifically. but if hot girls only fucked guys good at soccer that would complete change the sporting dynamic in this country.

Austin Texas