Could Batman be real? Why not? What would happen if someone tried? What could Batman even do in real life realistically...

Could Batman be real? Why not? What would happen if someone tried? What could Batman even do in real life realistically?

I think IRL Batman would probably get arrested or killed during his first month.

He would get shot because there's no such thing as flexible fabric that's also bulletproof

batman? no. but a punisher/red hood type vigilante could work. people take the law into their own hands all the time, it just happens in poor and remote parts of the world.

it would be too easy to find out who he is

They'd be shot dead within an hour. Turns out real life it isn't that easy to dodge machine guns and take down gangs just by kicking them.

He'd be labeled as racist, because the majority of his "villans" will be the poor black men.

>group of bad guys robbing something, suddenly Batman outta nowhere
>bad guy shoots him in the chest/legs/guantlets
>sees the bullet ricochet off
>"AIM FOR HIS FACE"
Its always bothered me that the bad guys never, ever aimed for his face and mask where he was most vulnerable.

There's no saying he can't use guns to combat guns. Or maybe he wears a gas mask and utilizes gas in close quarters to knock out his gun toting enemies. Obviously, an irl batman would also require some top level intel gathering so you would know everything about the place your going into. Maybe multiple drones and hacked security feeds.

Honestly this. Not that I have a problem with black people, but with what he considers criminals and scum (people who do petty crimes on the street to feed themselves), how could he not be considered a racist. All he would do is create racial tensions, because beating up thugs doesn't solve complicated issues of economy, history, and society.

It wouldnt just be fabric, you would have some kind of gel interior that hardens on impact.

...

yeah absolutely, i mean think of all the pseudointellectuals who attack batman, both in comics and in real life, for "beating up the mentally ill."

Am I looking at this wrong or is it a checkmate in two turns?

Is that guy in the red really two people under a big coat?

He doesn't usually stand out in the open and wait for people to shoot at him.

>Could Batman be real?

Probably the dumbest thread I've seen here in awhile, and that's saying something. Kill yourself.

>pseudointellectuals

Yea, Batman dun goofed.

as you can see i'm stupid as a box of ass

It's called the fool's mate, it's the fastest possible checkmate

The vast majority of crime going on in big cities happens in black neighborhoods. If a rich white guy stepped in to reduce the crime rate, he'd be labeled a Nazi and the police would have to catch and kill him to keep everyone from freaking out.

>mfw some lunatic becomes real life Azrael and starts slaughtering Muslims in Europe

That's why people hire black people to work for them so they look less racist. So just get a black side kicks.

>go to prison
>nigger wants to play chess with me
>ok, why not, i was pretty good back in the day
>get defeated by fools mate.
>say i want a rematch but never show myself at the table again

But wouldn't that be an effective way to reduce crime? Batman would probably reduce crime rate more by litterally opening job positions and schools in poor neighborhoods.

It would not work but I am surprised that no one actually tried to be a masked vigilante. There had to be some lunatic to try this

Blacks hate blacks if they try to stop crime. Just look at David Clarke.

brainlet here how is this checkmate?

>Implying someone will see batman for long enough to realize what color he is.

There's ton of historic examples. all of them were mad.

In the comics he's always doing that, but it's never enough.

If you were black, where would you move your queen on the next turn?

>>>>>>>>>> In the comics it works

On the Jokers move, he can just move his queen down to the right side, in the path of Batmans king.
Batman can't move any pieces to block her or take her.
Checkmate

Ahem

>Implying someone will see batman for long enough to realize what color he is.
I thought we were talking about if batman were real. In which case someone would obviously get a video or picture of him at some point or a bystander would describe him.

I see now, thank you

...

just get the fuck out.

Chest is a larger area so the bullet is guaranteed to hit you if you aim for the chest.

Heil Hitler!

I'd watch that

>hooded hero
Hero in the hood would've been better because of its double meaning

Raimi will steal that title for his next film

I'm fine with that. Spiderman's director's cut made me into the man I am today.

Kek this is the first thing I thought of. What the hell is wrong with this world.

Batmans biggest/best form of travel in the comics is his grappling hook

Grappling hooks don't exist in real life, otherwise we'd all be using them to scale buildings.

Crowds don't attack one by one taking turns so...

The basic premise of what Batman does wouldn't work. Batman refuses to kill criminals, he just interferes in their crimes and then leaves them for the police to arrest and prosecute.

But that's not how law enforcement works. The shit that Batman does would make most of the evidence against he criminals inadmissible in court, and the Gotham police department would face federal Justice Department investigation if it became evident that they were cooperating with a vigilante to violate the due process rights of suspects.

Now, if you had a similar billionaire with access to advanced technology who wanted to be more of a Punisher style vigilante, than it would probably work pretty well.

One human cant take on a gang of like 7 people, the mafia in Gotham would have already assasinated Wayne if this was real life.

No the niggers would be petty thieves and impulsive murderers, the real criminal masterminds would be white psychopaths because white men have the most competent criminals.

No. You basically need superpowers to be Batman. Hell, even The Dark Knight pointed this out, all the copycat Batmans get picked off and murdered in a matter of days.

No. Bat's arsenal would take billions of dollars to create. Some of that tech is impossible.

>billionaire uses his money to whoop the shit out of the underclass

In 2017 America they'd make him President for Life.

I'm a muslim, why does he need to get the fick out?

are you saying all black people are criminals? very racist

Of course not all criminals are black people.

Plenty of spics and slavs commit crimes, too.

well you would first need super ninja training, learn every martial art known to man. THEN get over every fear so you can traverse/swing the town's rooftops.

I would say no 100% because there's no one with that level of pure will. Sure vigilantes can work but not even close to Batman level.

Would Punisher work? Just shoot criminals first, ask questions later?

But if you shoot them dead, what's the point of asking a corpse anything?

Batman isn't cool or interesting at all. They say he doesn't have superpowers, but he fucking does. He has super strength, super speed, super durability, super reflexes, super intelligence, I could go on and on. So, no, no mortal man could do all the things Batman does because of lazy writing calling him human. He should have at least come up with a super serum for himself somewhere along the years so all his prowess would make fucking sense.

Jesus, why the hell 80's comix have such a shitty drawings? This is literally looney tunes tier. It's like people couldn't draw proper images back then.

Quite frankly (eh? eh?) I'm surprised no one has done this.

It's not like gang members are hard to spot. See a bunch of niggers in red clothes for instance, they're probably Bloods.

>pull up
>fire a bunch of shots at them
>speed off

I'm surprised with as much as Americans love guns and vigilantes that this isn't a more common thing.

It'd still be a matter of time before he fucks up and gets shot

Whenever someone brings up this point I just picture Batman showing up during a really emotional scene in the Wire and just kicking everyone's ass.

> car no one can track back to its hideout
Do remember that when Batman was first published, the helicopter was just being invented.

>Shoot a bunch of gang bangers
>A camera across the street saw your car
>A witness saw your license plate
>Police show up to your house
>Get arrested
>Get thrown in prison while a chorus of baboons scream how your victims dindu nuffin and that they waz gud bois on their way to church

jesus fucking christ will beat your kid before i do it for you

>There's no saying he can't use guns to combat guns.

so, just punisher then?

Nolan did it already.

He was batman for like two minutes, fought the joker one time, and by TDKR he goes to the doctor and his entire body is shot to shit from jumping off buildings all the time

I fucking hate what Nolan did to Batman

>Grappling hooks don't exist in real life
> the actual reason Alex Hirsch stopped production on Gravity Falls

he'll get shot in the face

pretty much this, no amount of money or push ups can help you regenerate joint cartiledge

He would look more like master chief, all armored up.

How would he know there's a crime in progress somewhere? Or would he just satisfy himself with visting local ghetto every other night?

What?

Listening to police chatter?

Not really worth going to jail for life just to stop some random niggers slinging dope

Question: does anyone remember the BTAS episode where batman learns how to kill someone with one touch? Isn't that a superpower

Batman has been known as a pseudo detective / intelligence guy for a long time.

They don't all attack at once either. Unless they don't give a shit about hitting eachother.

Christ do I wanna be that rich and high

>Police show up to your house
Frank doesn't live at his house anymore.

He is real and we voted for him.

That's just kung fu

i mean yeah, that's exactly what Batman did in year one.

user, if you want to go full punisher you have to get off the grid, fake/no plates, safehouses using the money from the people you kill to buy stuff to kill more people and such.

>Now, if you had a similar billionaire with access to advanced technology who wanted to be more of a Punisher style vigilante, than it would probably work pretty well.
But a billionaire could just pay thugs to kill criminals. It'd be more effective to set up their own group of operators than to be Punisher.

If a IRL billionaire has any connections to Government agencies that could get him prototype military weapons/vehicles and said billionaire is a professional fighter on almost every known fighting style then it's possible but there are too many Government agencies that would eventually found out who the Batman really is.

They would leave a trail that lead directly to you. Now, of course you could bribe your way out of the jail, but you eventually cross the road with someone more powerfull than you, and your money wouldn't help you.

The cowl is bulletproof actually, they'd have to aim for the mouth which is pretty fucking hard.

>yfw he went to court to reveal his secret identity
>yfw nobody even cared

Irl batman or any hero would get their arses handed to them, I'd give them a month tops depending on the area.

That's why you don't hire them directly.

Dragons skin is pretty close.

Phoenix Jones.

I think kick-ass has the most realistic portrayal of what IRL batman would look like (until the moment he met hit-girl and daddy).

too much variance in rooftop height
too much traffic
most crime isn't organized

>no training
>no money
why?

dragons aren't real you tard

I think the last time someone looked semi-seriously at this, they found that a real Batman would only last about 3 years before probably suffering a debilitating injury.

He'd get shot and bleed out in an alleyway because in real life you can't just magically disappear and reappear all over the place and kung-fu every villain into the dirt.

Honestly, i don't think any amount training or money would make big difference in being vigilante superhero.