Cinema ‘bans’ single men from screening of Fifty Shades Darker

It's finally happenning! The age of no-single kino has begun. Finally we normal people will be able to watch our Marvel movies without fear of getting shoot.
Sup Forums on suicide watch.

What do you mean begun? My local kinoplatz has had nsp in effect for a long time now.

I used to think Sup Forums had autism
This place is full on inbred.

I thought it was the women taking cucumbers in with them.

This

Op where have you been?? nsp has been around since I was a kid

Watchmojo confirmed nsp is a myth.

I dont know who that is
Is he an internet troll?

>tfw my kinosseum has singles days

>Try to enter Fifty Shades Darker with a holo-GF
>Theater is filled with roasties and middle aged women
>They're all furiously masturbating with the complementary kino kukumbers provided to them
>One who brought her bull along violently squirts and the juices short circuits my holo-GF
>Singles alarm goes off
>Theater flies into a panic
>Kino guard bursts in through the ceiling and arrests me
>Sentenced to 20 years in the cucumber pits
HELP

>the memes are real in this timeline
What's next? Penis inspectors?

>He never had his penis inspected in 3rd grade
Where are you from? It's still standard procedure at my old school.

would they let me in if I go with my mom?

It literally is a thing in health enhancement classes. Tv just memes it a little extreme sometimes

you would have to pretend that you are dating and MAYBE be asked to kiss to prove it but yes it is hypothetically possible

The only cinema in my town hasn't allowed singles in over a year.

How accurate was the rumors of single middle aged women masturbating in theaters?

>stop going to theaters
>theaters go out of business
>create a theater in my own home with big screen TV comfortable seats
>pirate all my movies until the end of time

looks uncomfortable as fuck desufampai

cucumber and zucchini sales were up 350% at grocery stores near theaters showing the movie

looks like Scabies - the theatre experience.

If you have a girlfriend/fiancee/wife/cat and they want to see this with you, does it make you a cuck if you say yes?