>be me >good looking white male >blue eyes blond hair >6'0'' >not a sperglord >CS major >good university >3.9+ GPA >excellent personal projects >good at interviewing
I watched some girl from my uni get an internship with google this summer. She's honestly so fucking stupid, but Google apparently is just interested in the fact that she has a vagina. I still landed a good internship for this summer, but not google tier (which I was going for).
If they didn't care about diversity I'd be in for sure, but that's unfortunately not the case. I'm so desperate I'm considering lying on my future job applications to say I'm bi, just so I can check the "LGBT" box. Thoughts?
Robert Campbell
Dude almost every fucking company here in Canada has a Pledge of Diversity page or some bullshit. Fuck it check the box.
Ayden Howard
No. Real men have something called honor an integrity. We don't lie. Plus you don't change a broken system by adapting to it.
Hudson Ross
you don't change a broken system at all user.
Jason Miller
Go for it OP. If they want true diversity they should have a "Red Pilled" check box.
Hunter Powell
feel free to exploit it, pull an elizabeth warren if you can get away with it aswell.
They think they are getting a gay native american, suprise straight white aryan male.
Benjamin Reyes
Play the game check the box I checked the mixed race box and saved 15 thousand dollars on college tuition
Hudson Edwards
Do it pussy. I expect some good stories.
Jaxon Reed
>user walks in for his interview >boss tells him to sit down >"So you want the job huh?" >*unzips dick*
Jeremiah Ward
I do 'mixed race' if there's an option, even though im only 2% black
Kevin Brooks
>have vaguely mudslime sounding last name >everyone surprised i have blue eyes in job interview >still get the job because i play along and never directly adress it >once i got a job because i talked to the woman at HR and told her i could count as diversity hire due to my last name and just going along with it so they dont actually have to hire someone just because of their ethnicity >got the job instantly after acing the a small programming test which was baby tier easy modo and really only calculting fibonacci to the 200th number
Dylan Martinez
I'LL FUCKING SUCK A BLACKMAN'S DICK FOR A GOOD JOB I DON'T CARE ANYMORE.
I WANNA KILL PEOPLE, KILL THE POPE, FUCK OBAMA SHIT SHIT SHIT FUCK SHIT
Connor Cox
Why the fuck would you want to work at Jewgle? They do literally nothing. They have near 100 thousand employees and not one single one of them has done one single thing since they finished google maps
Oliver Fisher
>*unzips dick*
His dick has a zipper?
Hunter Cook
>Why the fuck would you want to work at Jewgle? You make a fuck ton of money. I plan on getting an MBA after a few years, and google experience looks incredible on a resume.
Jacob Rodriguez
And yet they all have great benefits and decent pay which is essentially everyone's dream scenario in the US
Gavin Sullivan
I dunno about getting aids and throat herpes but I too can't find a good job... there's nothing here and I can't afford to move.
Joseph Bell
It's going to look like you wasted years in google's ballpit with your latte mogadishu and macbook. Get a CS job in Estonia or Russia instead. They pay much better and you actually get to create stuff
Isaiah Green
>CS job in Estonia or Russia instead. They pay much better
Lmao
William Thomas
Do it or say you're bi
Wyatt Cook
ive been thinking about this as well m8
you could just go a little queer dressed, slightly ambiguous haircut and claim you are bisexual
its not like theyre gonna ask you shit or check your anal virginity
if anything does arise you have a gf right now but you sometimes take a peek at dicks
Liam Wright
>They pay much better fuck off sven
you do realize a software engineer at google starts out at 6 figures, right?
Juan Long
The fuck is CS?
Jose Wood
I've been telling everyone this for years. The only way to defeat the left isn't to fight their stupidity, but to use their own agenda against them.
We could short circuit their entire PC-hiring apparatus by all claiming to be 1/32nd injun or all claiming to be a muslim or a cock-gobbler. Make it something vague and unprovable.
And if they ask us to prove it all we have to do is cry 'discrimination' and they'll back off.
When everyone is an oppressed minority then no one is an oppressed minority.
Charles Rodriguez
If you take cost of living and quality of life into account you earn much more in Russia
Jason Moore
Computer Science
Jeremiah Wilson
>If you take cost of living and quality of life into account you earn much more in Russia
Dunno, guess it just depends on where you live in the US. I make $35 an hour right now (not in NY/CA) as an intern and am living like a fucking king.
Cooper Johnson
It's fucking brilliant. I'm bisexual now.
Kayden Green
HOW NEW
Jose Martinez
Like Elizabeth Warren, I've been claiming I'm Native American on every one of those bullshit Affirmative Action forms for the last twenty years since I left college. I'm convinced it got me at least one job, too.
Mixed race is super easy to lie about. Latino if you tan well. Native American isn't a lie; I was born here, and I'm an American you libfuckers.
To defeat the Jew one must learn how play the Jew's games.
Blake Garcia
I choose to identify as a muslim transgender african american female.
They cant say anything, because they would be using their white cisgender able-bodied privilege to marginalize my experiences, act islamophobic and transphobic, and opressing my experience as a gender dysphoric, racially oppressed, trans female.
Be 6', blonde/blue eye male.
Play the game, and win.
Lincoln Adams
Just do it.
Unless you are planning to try and get famous or get in to politics, who gives a shit.
However you will be supporting statistics that this shit is more common than it really is.
Noah Hall
Do it. If anyone asks, tell them you're bisexual but not interested in dating men at this point in time. Fuck you.
Austin Jackson
If your so smart why not already lie about it. >Here let me ask /pol. You're not as smart as you think you are faggot. Also a good way to get in is to check black under race. When you go in and they ask you about it say you identify as a black lesbian woman.
Jack Richardson
have fun not getting a job
Dominic Kelly
Cheat on your taxes Never apologize to minorities or sjws Murder anyone who enters your house without permission
Live by these three simple rules and you will be a red blooded American man.
Julian Allen
>working for somebody else
Jaxon Lewis
I amthinking doing this now too, Ill even say Im black just to get in there. They cant question it or they are racist kek
Justin James
What if, in addition to saying I'm LGBT (bi), I say I'm part hispanic? What's the whitest south american country?
Jackson Rogers
Argentina. HAHAHAHAHA oh fuck I make myself laugh.
Nathaniel Long
Summer is here lads
Owen Gutierrez
>Argentina
Eli Ramirez
When a resume from a white male comes in.
Eat shit crackers.
Carter Long
>Argentina knew that was going to be the first answer kek
Hunter Perez
Just say you grandmother is from spain, they count as hispanic!
Jacob Martinez
>Pretending to be LGBT
I wish I was only pretending
Jayden Green
>Thoughts? Register on gay dating sites so security check can prove your information ...
Noah Morris
Go ahead and mark the black and woman box also. What are they gonna do say you aren't?
Noah Price
>discriminating against lgbt
i think we have a bigot in out hands
Austin Jackson
I'm actually considering identifying as gay for anything career-related. It should work fine - who is going to doubt you and risk coming off as a homophobe?
Thomas Kelly
That feeling when you go through many resumes by white males to finally finding the one resume from an oppressed black woman.
Jordan Reed
Start a small /biz/ you bitch
Dylan Ross
>pretending to be a faggot so you can make the coffee at Google
What is it with this fucking generation?
William Morris
This guy gets it.
Aiden Perez
Counter Strike professionals :^)
Jaxon Gray
How do you lose your integrity by trolling a company that's discriminating against you to get a good job?
Aaron Collins
This i would rather work for minimumwage than lieing about something like this, don't forget the old saying "if you stare into the abyss long enough, the abyss stares back"
don't be that guy... don't alter your self to appeal to a broken system
makes me really sad if people take the "easy" way even tho they have to abandon theire personality for it
Elijah Gomez
Honor and mercy for those who deserve it.
Anthony Allen
Argentina duh.
Aiden Barnes
Plus you can just show them your chinese cartoons and they'll lose all doubt they had about you being a faggot.
Colton Moore
Newfag
Joseph Richardson
you are enabling the system you fuck lord haven't you learnt a single thing on this board or do you just come here for the memebanz
Robert Carter
Honour is one thing, but i dont see how else to put an end to these nonsense diversity hires without gaming the liberals own system.
We've got to innovate, faggots.
Jackson Jackson
Went to law school with a tranny. He changed his name to "Alexandria" and goes by "Alex," which is retarded as fuck because he grew tits and went through all this hormone shit just to start going by a gender-neutral name. So the retard actually lands a job interview and, since he's desperate to be employed by this point, decides to dress like a normal human being with a suit and tie. Problem is, he has long hair. The partner interviewing him tells him straight up, "You're interviewing to practice in Buttfuck, Virginia. If you show up in court with long hair these shitbird judges will shit all over you. Also, you're dressed like shit and you've got no experience but I like the cut of your jib. I'll hire you and advance your first paycheck so you can get some clothes as long as you cut your hair."
So this guy goes home and has a nice, long think about his identity and whether it's worth losing a job he got by nothing short of a miracle. He decides he'll e-mail the partner and tell him that he's transgender and that he can't cut his hair. Not surprisingly, the partner never talks to him again, and he goes on Reddit to bitch about it, then goes on Facebook to bitch about it by posting a link to his Reddit post.
This was...Shit, a long time ago. One and a half to two years ago, I'd say. As far as I know his ass is still unemployed.
Mason Reed
Just tick the Asian box m8. Or in your case the Native American one.
They won't dare question it.
Ryan James
>Good employees ignored by big companies because they're white males >White males decide to make their own company, hire people based on skill >Women, foreigners and fags fuck up the first company because they're all inept >White male company strives
Chase Butler
I'm not enabling a system I'm helping to dismantle it by claiming to be gay when I'm not.
>Jews in HR think I'm gay >don't suck a single dick >still fuck girls >get preferential treatment for being gay
INTEGRITY LOST
Carson Sullivan
>I'm so desperate I'm considering lying on my future job applications to say I'm bi, just so I can check the "LGBT" box Do people put their sexual kinks on their resume these days?
Justin Brown
Fuck you. Don't play by the rules, bleed this shit system to death.
Oliver Smith
>white male company is prosecuted for racism Ftfy
Josiah James
cuck
abusing the system is where it is at i told my boss im a transman to get the job someone else would have got actually
Ryan Lee
If everyone checks the LGBT box, it'll eventually be removed.
Ian Turner
Do it If it worked on the 70s it works today
Grayson Brown
It's engineering. They don't give a shit about asians since they already have a glut of them.
Anthony Hill
Unless OP wants a permanent position there but they figure out he was full of shit and lied to them.
Gaming the system is one thing, getting caught in your own lies is another.
Logan Flores
>Plus you don't change a broken system by adapting to it. But you can change it by exploiting it, just look what happened to UK and EU.
Samuel Green
I've never seen this, but I always check the disability box because muh ADHD.
Bentley Walker
Yes, I'm sure they can prove he isn't bi.
David Wilson
Yes, however it highlights how unreasonable, useless, and harmful the system really is. Say he lies and gets hired - his being gay or not doesn't affect his qualities in the workplace (skills, talents, etc.) at all. The diversity/affirmative action rules are completely unjust and enable preferential treatment toward specific demographics of people which is completely wrong. By doing this, he is actually taking on a personal initiative to highlight a flawed and detrimental aspect of our employment/hiring process. Do it.
Asher Martinez
Yeah that is the one flaw.
Is it possible to hire in a manner which wouldn't tell you the sex or race of the person you're hiring? Surely if you can proove you're doing it objectively you should be fine?
Ryder Morales
>Proving sexuality in 2016 >YOU CANT MAKE THIS SHIT UP
William Ortiz
>You! Suck my cock!
Hudson Ortiz
And how the hell would someone 'trap' you?
> Ha! user has a girlfriend! I knew he wasn't bi! > Wtf? For your information, i am in a memesexual relationship and do not bring my boipussi slaves to corporate events because they are all demisexualromantics who require full bdsm gear to be near me. > S-sorry user! > :^))))))))
Luis Watson
Two sides to that coin. Abuse this system and it's efficacy goes null, just maybe back to merit at that point. I still want to agree with this post.
Camden Garcia
The moment you hit 50 or so employees you are required by ethnic groups to have a diverse workplace or they will come after you with the media.
Samuel King
hire tokens
get some trannies, blacks, asians and mexicans and pretend they are doing important,diverse work
but they're there to keep your ass safe
Anthony Peterson
Sexuality is fluid user :^)
Easton Ross
You don't have to lie per se. Just cuck your vocabulary; change just the connotation. Focus a lot on equality and diversity and feminism or something.
Samuel Butler
>so genetically perfect i'll never be a diversity hire.
Camden Davis
no you only cause the system to become more entrenched because you're actually good at your job
Jacob Bailey
Start a cotton field behind the office?
Nicholas Turner
Fuck you. If you ain't cheatin' you ain't tryin'.
Grayson Sanders
Lurk moar.
Josiah Hall
Go for it. If you want the system to collapse to start anew, only choice is to game it harder than anything else.
Plus anyone has at least one jerked to some femboy on Sup Forums or /d/ so it's technically true.
James Ross
Yeah you can check the box. If some gay dudes hits on you say there are not your type.
Aaron Foster
Not needed at all. Dude just do a cool side project and post your resume on dice.
I graduated in December 2015, traveled for a month and put my resume up on Dice the last week. I got a bunch of interviews even though I never had a cs internship (but I did a side project).
Got a great job 2 weeks after I got home. Pretty awesome.
Also - have a prof go over your resume.
Colton Hernandez
Land is too pricy to justify the expense.
Easton Thomas
>Plus anyone has at least one jerked to some femboy on Sup Forums or /d/ so it's technically true. If her cock is cute and feminine then is not gay.
Evan Turner
CS stands for counter strike, you fucking pleb
what else would it mean?
Cameron Adams
WHY IS AN EMPLOYER ASKING ABOUT YOUR SEXUALITY???
Unless you're applying for a job as a porn star, that is irrelevant.