Jesus Christ, even Chris Rock has alimony problems.
Jesus Christ, even Chris Rock has alimony problems
Because he is a male regardless of race. The Courts will fuck you when it comes to women and kids.
ESPECIALLY IF YOUR BLACK
THATS WHY MY KID AINT GOT NO FATHER
DEY AINT FIND MY BLACK ASS !
JUST
Women are monsters. Good thing I'm a kissless virgin.
HOW MUCH FOR ONE RIB?
I CAN'T AFFORD A FULL SLAB ANYMORE WITH MY ALIMONY PAYMENTS
JUST
FUCK
UP
MY
BLACK
ASS
Maybe Brendan will take some comfort in not being the only one.
That's why I stick with anime instead.
I hear ya. GAHAHA
HOW BOUT A SIP OF THAT SODA
FUCK IT JUST POUR IT IN MY HANDS
blame yourself for no prenup chris
Why don't these celebrities just hire assassins to kill their ex-wives? I doubt they cost more than the several millions it'll cost to pay them over the years.
>"everybody needs a prenup" - Chris Rock standup before divorce
Yep
Well they'd be the obvious first suspect and probably go to jail and executed.
what if the glove doesn't fit?
oh lawdy
when will /our boy/ arsino hall talk about this on his hit new talk show?
>finally, they put a black man on Scooby Doo who's not a damn Globetrotter!
Can't imagine the gratification you'd get from having your ex-wife dead would be worth having the cops up your ass for months while they investigate. And that's if the hitman you're talking to isn't a cop in the first place.
that was funny as fuck
Why won't these bitches settle for half? The fact that this isn't he arrangement is completely insane.
>men literally wrote laws to cuck themselves
what happened?
Well for one, honestly women have been making lots of inroads in law. You can always get female lawyers and sometimes judges.
2) Women play the sympathy card a lot, through using their kids and the child support ideal they got a lot of laws changed.
Well, get married in a red state. They get half, and that's all they deserve because that's what you agreed to. After that it's done, unless you have kids.
Only thing I had in my prenup is that I get the fucking dog. You don't get the German Shepherd I raised from a puppy. 200 grand fine, but not my dog. Now go away.
>judges can throw out prenups if they're 'unfair'
>even if you don't get married, living with a woman for too long makes you 'common law married' so that bitch can still take all your stuff
Boy, you aint safe.
Seriously, does America have the shittiest divorce laws?
Marriage especially in 2017 America is a scam against men.
...
It's actually a tax scam and liberal women are all too willing to play into it because they benefit from it.
It immensely favors women in every state. Rather than favoring both people as equals. In the US, the idea of "equality" is women being half retarded and incapable of defending themselves; so the state has to do it for them. Meanwhile liberal women in this country love it because it favors their ambitions and they care nothing for ideals, or reality.
There was a time when you could just be up and left by your partner who could literally just move two states over and never encounter you again.
Also back in the day women literally couldn't provide for themselves in the same capacity as men could. That's definately changed now.
But yeah, Divorce Law (and Family Court in general) is a fraught amalgam of crazy shit from every decade stretching back to 1910, influenced by each of these periods different societal expectations and realities.
Basically we're dealing with divorce like it's the 1950s when society sure as FUCK ain't like no 1950s i ever heard of.
>implying prenups aren't routinely thrown out because a bitch can argue that she signed it under duress
Judges regularly throw prenups into the trash
...
JESS
You're shitting in the punch bowl of reason.
God damn Alabama, go to bed.
Good, stand up comedians need to be perpetually bitter and miserable to be funny.
how much for just one rib?
The people who make fun of you are like obese people who make fun of healthy people who watch what they eat
They want to drag you down and make sure you experience the misery of the female
No mans life ever got so much better with a woman. He just says that cause he's a lonely faggot who needs constant validation.
That isn't to say all girls are shit and don't have their moments, they are great sometimes, but never always, and when they're bad they're worse than not having them around at all.
I'm not saying he should kill his ex wife. But I'd understand.
Doesn't that defeat the whole point of having a legal contract, if it can be invalid because a judge thinks it's 'unfair'. As long as it's all legally valid, I don't really see why there's grounds
I've heard this too but now that I'm older and depressed I never say anything funny or make anyone laugh. I used to be hilarious when I was young and happy.
Because men think they're cucking other men
System is biased.
>tfw my country don't have alimony laws
i'll never get married/have sex but still
HAHA IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE HE'S BLACK LOL
Even when you prove this the judge can throw the prenup out of court if he/she feels its "unfair". Literally the only contract in existence where that happens. Pussy pass en masse.
>it's a Sup Forums doesn't understand when a comedian is trying to be funny episode
Reminder that marriage is little more than a contractual arrangement for the division of property in the event of a future separation.
So... He's using Alimony as the reason why he hasn't been working?
Must be fucking nice. I pay more in alimony to my ex than I spend on my rent, and if I decided I was depressed and stopped working I wouldn't be able to pay and I'd go to prison.
OHHH I LURRRVE NIGGERS
BUT I HATE A-LI-MOHHNY
SHE WHITE TOO!
Save up and move overseas
Unless you film her signing it and clearly stating "I am signing this 100% without doubt" bitch can just cry to the judge and have it thrown away
Why even bother with women anymore? They're more trouble than they're worth.
>meanwhile niggers take your place and further pollutes the genepool while you're fapping to cuck porn
even if you do that it doesnt mean shit, a person can sign an unfair contract
just marry a religious girl who has no divorces in her family tree you dumb assholes, its not rocket science
No. I was talking to my mum, who has a law degree. In England apparently prenups aren't legally recognised.
On top of that, apparently the courts are much friendlier to the poorer party (woman) and many woman will try and get divorced over here for that reason - all they need to do is own a property in the country or something
>think's alimony tour is a joke
You don't have to pay alimony to 2D women
Mate in Australia you're defacto married with no objective rule, it's just a 'sense' by the court
So you move in with each other for a few months, you might be defacto married
You date for a few months, you might be defacto married
Defacto marriage entitles the girl to maintenance payments and if she has a kid child support
Blokes get fucked in the ass all the time and keep lining up for the anal fucking cause I think 99% of blokes are fucking losers who don't even want to succeed in life. Life just happens to them, they don't try and control it
Is he at least getting some pussy payments?
I HATE WOMEN REEEEEEEEEEEEE MOMMY WAS LATE WITH MY TENDIEEEESSS REEEEE
4AA De facto relationships
Meaning of de facto relationship
(1) A person is in a de facto relationship with another person if:
(a) the persons are not legally married to each other; and
(b) the persons are not related by family (see subsection (6)); and
(c) having regard to all the circumstances of their relationship, they have a relationship as a couple living together on a genuine domestic basis.
Paragraph (c) has effect subject to subsection (5).
Working out if persons have a relationship as a couple
(2) Those circumstances may include any or all of the following:
(a) the duration of the relationship;
(b) the nature and extent of their common residence;
(c) whether a sexual relationship exists;
(d) the degree of financial dependence or interdependence, and any arrangements for financial support, between them;
(e) the ownership, use and acquisition of their property;
(f) the degree of mutual commitment to a shared life;
(g) whether the relationship is or was registered under a prescribed law of a State or Territory as a prescribed kind of relationship;
(h) the care and support of children;
(i) the reputation and public aspects of the relationship.
(5) For the purposes of this Act:
(b) a de facto relationship can exist even if one of the persons is legally married to someone else or in another de facto relationship.
>JUST
This. Marry a cute and sweet religious girl with good morals and knows how to cook. Nothing is a bigger turn off than a girl who can't cook
>but muh wild kinky sex
Get the fuck over it, it's overrated
Shit, and I thought Canada was bad
>"WAAH why aren't men marrying us anymore?"
>"could it be because of the ridiculous family courts that frequently consistently screw over men? could it be because as they get older they become more desired and start sleeping around like we did when we were younger?"
>"hmm... so what you're saying is that we should petition to change the law such that we can marry men without their consent? Good thinking!"
rrrGGHHHH I FUCKING HATE YOU WOMEN YOU FUCKING SUCK rgghehehe *breathes deeply*I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU
Oh sweetie, I don't hate you. I just love my happiness and money more.
>religious
Why don't you just tell us to marry a fucking downy?
>show judge lifestyle of former spouse before getting married
>Show judge her social media profile of her getting wasted, surrounded by men
>Show judge her social media statuses and thoughts
>Bring a forensic psychologist to testify that a person's behavior and actions is pathological
>Prove to the judge the neglect my former wife has over the kids
>Prove to the judge with testimonial witnesses that my estranged spouse would neglect the child and use the child support to fund her frivolous and promiscuous activity
>Set up a CD account that I pay into for the child for the next 18 years instead of giving the mother the child support
>Judge agrees
>Also demand full custody and child support from the mother
Win win
JUST
Fuck marriage. Just knock up and dump
>not wanting to marry a cute downy
What are you? Gay?
>dude i'd rather an amoral girl who will leave me at the drop of a hat
>i can't possibly pretend to be religious for a few years then slowly tell her i'm not going to church but still have a personal relationship with god
lmao @ you
>Promise myself even if I ever find the one I will never marry
>Turns out if you fucking live with them for like 6 months you're treated as marries anyway and they can STILL take your shit
Man, fuck this gay earth.
>Judge realises it's not in the best interests of your children to have a poor mother who can't provide for them when you have the means to do so and it is decided law to do so
>Rules most of your evidence is inadmissible
>You lose and get costs awarded against you for bringing a vexatious claim before the court
you are gonna get raped so hard one day
>such that we can marry men without their consent?
Wait, what?
Common law marriage is 10 years not 6 months you dope
austlii.edu.au
COMMONWEALTH LEGISLATION. That's the Australian term for FEDERAL LAW.
Imagine your Federal Government had that rule on the books.
This is what Australia has to deal with when dating, so long as they're aware, which almost all are not. Then they become aware when they get dragged to court and their wallet becomes lighter.
Do you know what jurisdiction user and his wife live in and/or are married in? That's quite amazing
I've heard that common law here in Canada is 6 months. It's bullshit.
No, but honestly if you don't live in burgerstan just don't even talk to me
Come on guys, just take this point of view.
name a more self destructive act than a man getting married
Genital mutilation?
Daily reminder Kikuchi Makoto belongs to me.
>Sup Forums - Family Law & Men's Rights
Jumping off of a 60 ft building
Shooting heroin into your eyeballs
a man filing for divorce from his homemaker wife with 3 children
True woke kino
This is exactly why I had my kids out of wedlock, sure child support isn't small but they are my kids and it sure as hell isn't alimony.
that's the most retarded analogy ive ever heard. here's a better one: virgins being smug about not having to deal with relationship problems are like unemplyed people smug about not having to wake up in the moring for work. at the end of the day both are losers.
only virgins know that women can be dumb sluts not worthy of your time
its not like guys ever get divorced
fuck you i hope your womb has cancer
>people who interact the least with women are the ones who know their worth
slit your wrists you pathetic neckfat
Vasectomy
Around females watch yourselves
DON'T. EVER. MARRY.
JUST DON'T.
RUN NIGGA RUN RUN RUNNNNN
You can be forced to pay alimony even if you never got married.
Prenups are worthless in Americuck court. Even Brenden Frasier had one.
>Implying that NEETs didn't write the law this way to get revenge on Chads or for a chance to come off as understanding towards women