Women

>women
>fifty shades of grey fans

Other urls found in this thread:

youporn.com/watch/124377/taste-the-vegetable-inside/
youtube.com/watch?v=wZ8cdL0ELRg
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

>No one could just buy a cucumber and lie on the Internet for publicity

You know it's fake because he's touching it, what sick fuck would do that?

Are you implying you never ate a cucumber at the movies?

>hey that's a nice idea, will get some publicity for the movie that is still screening at our theater. maybe some new followers on face
>i don't want to go and buy a dildo though, lets just use a cucumber.

>picked it up without gloves
HAVE FUN WITH THOSE NIGGER STDs YOU FUCK

Probably Jules

Dildos are more expensive. It's more likely for a woman to go buy a cheap cucumber

What about eggplants?

>It's fake!! This is a LIE!!!
...are we reaching the point where people don't even understand the idea of a "joke?" Thanks liberals

She probably got it from the salad bar in the Brazilian BBQ section of the food hall.

This joke was made dozens of time when the first one came out.

>not being the eternal optimist and assuming it's a 9/10 qt

fucking cats they onle deserve to worst

>buying your cucumber but not eating it
Literally worse than crab legs fags.

no it's more likely it was posted for attention from the theater. the price argument holds for both.

>american "people"

Realistically, if you found one of these in your theater, would you lick off the lady cum?

...

...thanks reddit!

fuck no, you gotta be a real piece of shit to do that

Fuck why is this hilarious
Imagine having to clean this up

The real problem for me is the nasty floor and theater seats. Maybe if it was left in a cup and there was some ice at the bottom so I know it's hers.

imagining that it's the kind of girl who wouldn't masturbate in a movie theater?

>haha just pretending to be retarded
Literally you

What are they doing with cucumbers with the plastic still on? Certainly not inserting it anywhere, because those edges can be really rough.

Those are still sealed. the plastic has sharp edges. clearly a joke someone did, but was too stupid to remove the plastic.

Depends. If the theater was full of hot girls, maybe. If they were all ugly/old, hell no.

Yes yes, but do they GET it?

>fuck yourself with a vegetable in public while watching a trashy movie
>throw it on the floor later
My fucking sides. Animals

What the fuck is wrong with you?

FAKE. No theater would let you sneak food in so effortlessly.

youporn.com/watch/124377/taste-the-vegetable-inside/

It's a pickle now you stupid fuck.

This is one of those jokes with so little effort in it you just wonder "why did they even bother"

Now a funny joke would be if they found a dragon dildo.

This is pretty hot if I'm being perfectly honest. Too bad only the most disgusting fatlards have to stoop down this low.

This. Why in fuck's name would you pick that up? Why even take a chance? That's like finding a used condom and just picking it up and taking a picture of it in your hand.

why the fuck would anyone still use a fucking vegetable? most of these people have dildos already probably, i know its only a joke but still

If guys did this, they'd be arrested.

Ok so here's my issue yeah, lets say its a joke why is is funny? It was already done to death when the first movie came out so its not novelty.
Is the joke women masturbate? That fifty shades of X is mummy porn?
Like just saying something is a joke doesn't dismiss any criticism of it.

and to save you all some time
>t. autism speaks

>Implying it was a woman using that

I shove an eggplant up my ass during every Idris Elba movie I go see.

Reminds me of this
youtube.com/watch?v=wZ8cdL0ELRg

depends on how many times i'd have jerked off that day

What are you even doing here if you wouldn't sniff that thing from one end to the other?

No user don't be gross those were on the floor.

IT'S A FUCKING MEME. IT'S NOT REAL.

>how dod the sneek food into the cinema?

well, you could say, they were as cool as a cucumber.

>tfw you want to sneak into 50 shades and just watch all of the horny women

what is happening to me

cut the shit, user
this is Sup Forums, not /r/disgustingnormieshit

me? i'd bring crablegs.

It was real when it happened once during the first movie. Then tumblr and reddit got ahold of the picture and meme'd it to death like a bunch of faggots. It's almost like they're the same as the meme loving fucks from this shithole or something.

...

>Not shoving a lobster tail up your asshole and having it pinch your labia while it's antennae tickles your clitoris

Do you people even know how to masturbate?

teach me senpai
stream it

I'd bring my anvil.

Holy fuck, that's hot.

I want to see a woman masturbating with a lobster now. I think I have a new awakened fetish.

Do cucumbers work anally? Asking for a friend.

no, Pickles are better.

I've seen too many of these fucking pictures.
Viral marketing and people jumping on it for likes or stars or whatever the fuck you get on social media.

>finds cucumber in a theater that just played what is essentially porn
>picks it up with his bare hands

No, sadly they explode just seconds into insertion. Many such cases!

why woukd you even touch that without gloves?

I used carrots a couple of times. They work pretty well. If you peel them and boil them you can even eat them afterwards.

I can't, my lobster is at the dentist right now.

yes, and if you take of the green skin (make sure not to slice too much off), the natural jelly/water of the peeled cucumber lubricates at the same time.

>protip
i like to soak my cucumber in a dish of warm water for 30 mins.

my first thought

>Even crustaceans have better dental habits than the British

Thank God for Brexit amirite my fellow European brothers?

I would literally chop it up and put it in a salad if I were in his position.

>you can even eat them afterwards.
>can even eat them after
>even eat them
>eat

never change Sup Forums

Are you kidding? I would lick that

where do you think we are

I'd love to just go into a 50 shades showing with a ruck sack full of weird vegetables and fruits and plant them areond the place then wait around after and watch the cleaning guy's reaction when he finds a varitable cornucopia of produce strewn throughout the rows of seats.

>That's like finding a used condom and just picking it up

This happened to us at school when I was little. We didn't know what it was so we picked it up and started snapping it and launching it at eachother like a big rubber band. One of the teachers aides saw what was happening and screamed and ran out and made us put it down. In my country at that time the people were so uneducated about such things that they still thought a person with AIDS breathing on your could make you catch it. I'll never forget how cold that water was when the old polish janitor turned the hose on us.

...

Holy fuck first laugh of the day best laugh of the day.

blue waffles

Let's not forget Paul Reubens and Fred Willard basically got their careers ruined for jacking it in porn theaters. Oh but sure everyone sticks cukes up their monglers now and it's a big joke.
Time for men to go their own way

...

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You should thank that man for hosing the AIDS off of you. He deserves a medal.

>I'll never forget how cold that water was when the old polish janitor turned the hose on us.
actually spilled my drink

>It's a "kids on Sup Forums take a facebook level meme at face value and lose their disease riddled minds" episode

That took a real sharp turn in the end.

Many such cases.

Those darn Liberals, angry when the government lies to the public.

>go into movie with a cucumber
>leave movie with a pickle

You fucking bastard I just spit my drink.

>mfw imagining fucking pumpkins and cantaloupes everywhere.

obviously viral marketing

more like cuckumber lmao

...

Might try this actually.

Underrated as fuck.

I would go to the 50 shades screening just to leave a wet 50 shades book thrown on the floor.

Im gonna go buy a big salmon and leave it there with some carrots

It's a shitty joke used to promote a shitty movie. You should feel bad for being such a fuckwit.

>people think anons dont know its a joke

this is a Christian image board user

We didn't get sprayed with a hose by some Eastern Bloc janitor but we did have a condom incident at my school when we were in second grade. We were picking it up and passing it around and chasing eachother like it was a snakeskin or something. The teachers saw us and one grabbed it with a stick and tossed it in the dumpster then called our parents and told them what happened.

>mfw my parents were both at work so my elderly catholic as fuck grandparents got the call and had to talk to me

You ever hear two catholics in their 70's that have eight kids trying to explain to a six year old what birth control is?

>i was only pretending to be a liar!
>also i'm the first one to think of this, yeah?

it's not a joke if it's just straight up annoying.