Ywn win the world series and then immediately marry kate upton

>ywn win the world series and then immediately marry kate upton

is it even legal to be this chad?

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whosdatedwho.com/dating/kate-upton
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>marrying a fridge

Could you see verlander’s dick in those nudes that got released? Wondering if they’re worth looking for

>ywn win the world series and then immediately forfeit a winter full of orgies and hard drinking for a washed up model who was hot 7 years ago

Dicklets like Verlander can't be Chads.

why did he marry her? is she nice or something.

>being this bitter and assblasted

Your life must be shit.

why did he marry an appliance?

Maybe because he loves her?

>HAHA HE COUKD HAVE FUCKED WHORES AND ACTED LIKE AN IMMATURE 20 YEAR OLD

At a certain point in your life, there are better things to do.

Yes but his penis isn't worth looking at

oh

Yes, make beautiful white babies! He didn't have to settle for some ugly nigger like Dirk did.

Is it actually small or is everyone just memeing?

virgin detected.

>marrying a fridge
will their kid be a toaster

virgin detected

snownigger detected.

nigger detected

forgot your country existed detected.

Dude.... kate upton... it's supposedly like throwing a hot dog down a hallway. that girl is a slut

>marrying a woman who has coasted on youthful looks and shows no interest in working out or having a healthy lifestyle

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>dude I heard some rumor at the scuttlebutt, it must be true!
#Americans

she got some moves with the ass.

no it will be a vending machine

based

also he should have come to the Red Sox

>

God damn, here I am suicidal as fuck, 36, unmarried, no kids, ugly, and fat, and this motherfucker goes out and lives his life as an alpha wealthy handsome chad.

I'm an heroing right now, what's the fucking point.

>t. virgins who will never fuck a 6, let alone a 10 like Upton.

He looks like a squirrel.

Atleast you're not bitter like half the posters ITT. Imagine living their lives.

HAHA HE GOT MARRIED TO FRIDGE HAHA 6/10 AT BEST HAHA

NOW LET ME RANK MY TOP 10 PORNSTARS ALL TIME

It's the most average looking dick I've ever seen put it that way

>"Marrying a roastie is what a TRUE gentlesir does..."

lmao

>gentlesir

Been on here for 7 years and never read that before. Time to go back to plebbit, nigger.

>putting your dick in the fridge
ISHYGDDT

>gentlesir

kek, thanks I needed that.

as if you wouldn't

Kate Upton is overrated, she's a little fat and has a fridge body. Not saying that she's ugly but she's not the perfect girl everyone say she is.

t.virgin

Unironically this.

she's not a 10 bruh, 8 at best

her facial aesthetic and height are what matters.

She will make good offspring, which is the real reason to marry a woman. If you marry a woman because "she's so hot dude" enjoy your inevitable divorce and/or cuckolding.

Dont make important life decisions with your dick, make them with your brain. Verlander will have GOAT kids. Meanwhile you'll probably have some autistic HAPA because you watched too much anime and thought "muh dick" one too many times.

Sup Forums confirmed for idiots.

...

lmao turbo virgins actually believe this

How's life with Asperger's bro?

it looks average but its probably above average it just looks small compared to his 6'5 body

t. Never been in love

They've been together for a while, probably waiting until he won the eries.

Vapid fucking of whores and getting hammered isn't the life once you pass a certain level of maturity.

>her facial aesthetic and height are what matters
>which is the real reason to marry a woman
>If you marry a woman because "she's so hot dude" enjoy your inevitable divorce and/or cuckolding

Do you see the mixed messages you're sending here? You are right, marrying a woman because "she's so hot dude" probably will result in divorce and/or cuckolding. It's why you think Kate Roastie is any different that has me confused.

You're either high or a pedo

To be honest she seems kinda cute and has a joyful personality, also she is loving enough to let him take sex vids

what's not to like? She she has flabby tits and is shaped like a fridge, but the man obviously loves her for other reasons.

>haha i mean her knees are kind of sharp but he seems happy to settle with her so who am i to judge this cow
Imagine being this mad.

>marriage

not a virgin, it's even worse when you fuck a lot in your youth and all of a sudden it stops.

Just curious, how old are you...

and you?

Is that Jordan Zimmerman on the right side?

Suprised he didn't marry an athlete to have super human kids, but went the fame route. His kids will be in media spotlight and hounded on.

Collect action figures. Figuarts, the world.

That's too high a rating. Past face and tits, she doesn't have shit else.

She's like the top percentage of aite lookin'.

have you told your parents yet?

I never said I wouldn't fuck, you sperg, I'm just saying she's like the majority of white girls in Hollywood, just a really really pretty aite lookin' bitch.

>she's hideous and fat

not even mad, i'm an ass man

Kate Upton is worth more money than this guy will ever have in his entire life.

There is more to women than big tiddies and bleached mustaches user

This might be the first time in my life I'm legitimately jealous of someone famous. Kate Upton is my waifu.

>ass man
>posts a girl with no ads
?????

No there isn’t

she has no sponsorships

>get ready to fire back and say something angry
>realize what website I'm on

She's a full figured woman with giant breasts so naturally all the pedophiles on here are disgusted. Just like on the Sup Forums board the mods let those underage girl threads hit 400 plus yet milf threads get 20 posts and deleted

dude is a fucking multi millionaire
and he couldn't even get his suit tailor made
it looks baggy as fuck

what the fuck is wrong with rich people?

>all these people saying they wouldn't blow a load all over those breasts if she came onto them

>implying we all wouldn’t do unspeakable things to bust on those tiddies

what so good about big juicy breasts full of milk? what can you do with them anyway? just suck on them like there's no tomorrow trying to drink every last drop of milk while she's moaning like crazy? put your dick in between them balloons and grind for minutes until you glaze them with your man baby batter?

>marrying a fridge
>marrying a fridge with an ass smaller than yours
>boreball
Emfuckingbarrassing.

Is this pasta?

these people have the equivalent luck of lottery winners. while enviable it is in no way a common human existence.

*kneels*

Ree no bully for mistype pls

>>On a planet of 7 billion people, I’m not one of the few thousand most successful in every aspect of my life.
>>Better go kill myself.

Idiot.

whosdatedwho.com/dating/kate-upton

Let's start
Maksim 6'3 200 lbs (nickname "big dick dancer)
Sean Combs puff daddy
Mark sanchez 6'3 225 10 inch monster hands
and drum roll
Blake Griffin 6'11, 260 lbs nba player
"A pringles can made of flesh"
globalgrind.cassiuslife.com/4088842/blake-griffin-eggplant-friday/
if that's not enough for you. halfway down his right leg

HOTDOG DOWN A HALLWAY. She used to be hot now she's chunky and loose so i'd be like fucking a hafl empty trashbag

>kate upton is the same age as selena gomez
sad!

brah. this is kate upton now. She got skinny fat

Are luckswingspicstick faggots such low test beta males that they find a fridge like Upton to be hot?

>so frustrated he can't stop replying
kek

Goddamn, that is fucking atrocious. She has more belly fat than hip fat hahahahahahahaha

wow
so this sloppy, frumpy, awkward skinnyfat infertile teenage-boy body is what attracts a ~$30 million salaried professional athlete
so THIS is the POWER of being Chad!!!!!!!!

sex doesn’t make your vagina loose

...

Would still/10

T. Roasty

>>Uses double comedy chevrons
>>Calling anyone and idiot

wew

She is legitimately not attractive.

i love my fridge

I thought "Blake Griffin's dick is dangerously huge" was just a meme from Broad City

All those years playing so close to Canada gave him a penchant for big primo milk bags

he is going to procreate with Kate Upton

God bless him

must be nice to know that your daughters will grow up to be whores

How can one instawhore be so disgusting?