>Since children started coming in by the shipload as refugees, the Gungan has served them, performing for the kids once or twice a day, He does tricks. He juggles. He falls over and shakes his head as his eyes roll around inside their fleshy stalks. He makes goofy sounds and does strange little dances. Sometimes it’s the same performance, repeated. Sometimes the Gungan does different things, things you’ve never seen, thing’s you’ll never see again. Just a few days ago, he splashed into the fountain’s center, ten pretended to have the streams shoot him way up in the air. He leapt straight up, then back down with a splash. And he leapt from compass point to compass point, back and forth, before finally conking his head on the edge and plopping down on his butt. Shaking his head. Tongue wagging. All the kids laughed. Then the Gungan laughed, too.
>The clown, they called him “Bring the clown. We want to see the clown. We like it how he juggles glombo shells, or spits fish up in the air and catches them, or how he dances around and falls on his butt.”
>The adults, though. They don’t say much about him. Or to him. And no other Gungans come to see him, either. Nobody even says his name.
When a young refugee boy asks why no one talks to him, the Gungan answers:
>“My no so sure.” The Gungan makes a hmm sound. “Mesa thinks it cause-o Jar Jar makin some uh-oh mistakens. Big mistakens. Der Gunga bosses banished me longo ago. Mesa no been to hom in for-ebbers. And desa hisen Naboo tink I help the uh-oh Empire.”
What'sa yousa thinkin Sup Forums?
Are yousa 'appy with Jar Jars fate? Or were u wishin for some big hurtin!
That bit of Jar Jar dialogue suffers from the same problem people writing Yoda dialogue face - they take it too far
Asher Perez
Too bad it is Canon that Binks is an excellent acrobat and not clumsy.
Cameron King
>They cant even Jar Jars clumsiness right
Disney everyone
Anthony Perez
You do those acrobatics he performed in Toydaria and tell me how it went.
Ian Robinson
Wouldn't he just claim he was already under the influence of Sheev, just like the rest of the Senate?
Mason Gutierrez
Since he's not in space jail he probably did
Jackson Ramirez
Ah, so he became a politically correct minstrel to fit Disney's political agenda as they continue to poison Star Wars harder than George Lucas did.
Good to know.
Connor Ross
Since Lucas created the cunt I dont think you can blame Disney
Dylan Flores
Disney owns Star Wars now. You lost. Deal with it.
Charles Cruz
I'm glad they purged the EU for this.
David Wilson
Jar Jar didn't deserve this.
Chase Moore
>adults hate him >kids love him poetry
Grayson Cruz
Nope. They're just as guilty. Lucas killed Star Wars with Episode 6 and the Prequel Trilogy. Disney is just milking the husk at this point. In 30 years, people will be sick of this franchise and want it deader than Lucas' rotting corpse at that point in time and Star Wars will die a pathetic but merciful death. Should've died after the Original Trilogy anyway.
Jaxson Lewis
>the uh-oh Empire
who wrote this
#notmyjarjar
Jordan Robinson
>space clowns that are literally referred to as "clown"
thanks chuck wendig / disney
make sure to grab chuck's first star wars novel, a solid 3 stars on amazon!
>deal with it Why not become a crazy murderhobo instead?
Caleb Hill
>Meesa....sigh. Meesa givin dem da handjobs for Death Sticks, ok? How about yoosa? Yousa want? Here, meesa give free sample. Free sample. Where yoosa going? No! NO! Come back!
>He sits, unable to continue for now. No one looks at him as they pass. After a time, he reaches into his tattered bag and draws out the last possession of any value left to him - a decades-old blaster. He doesn’t remember where he first found it, and doesn’t know if it works. A tear trickling down his left eyestalk, he puts the barrel in his mouth.
wtf disney
Ayden Sanchez
>Wakfu image Nice try, user, but crappy French cartoons won't validate your post. Besides, Nox wasn't a murderhobo. He was an INTELLIGENT murderhobo.
Joshua Thompson
>burying the shit that ruined the pt in a page of meta commentary in some novel is a crime
you seem young
Gabriel Brown
>Instead of the completely unpredictable, yet entirely sensical twist of Darth Jar Jar, Disney relegate him to an exaggerated clown >this is good apparently
David Murphy
If they engaged in that stupid fan theory, youd say they were just trying to please the reddit crowd
Cant win with you fuckbois
Adam Brown
>If they engaged in that stupid fan theory, youd say they were just trying to please the reddit crowd I wouldn't. I know some would, but I wouldn't The twist made too much sense. Plus it's hardly a fan theory when it's basically confirmed as Lucas' canon at this point
Adam Bennett
>stupid fan theory It's backed by Binks's actor, George taking heavy inspiration from shaolin monks and Isaac Asimov. >Jar Jar is the key to all of this >TPM plot relies on somebody in the ship sending out something to the sith
Grayson Smith
Should have just made him side with the Empire with full believe in its cause like a typical leftie.
Levi Jenkins
>actual published novel >describes a character as "falling on his butt" >twice in the course of three sentences
Jesus Christ.
Lucas Green
This is the same author who uses them stupid gender pronouns ze zur and whatever the fuck for one character
Robert Reyes
It's a Long time ago!
Hudson Peterson
He doesn't know Binks. Jar Jar is only seemingly clumsy, and it always has the effect on his goals that he wants it to have. >Clone wars >"clumsiness" gives him >promotions (pirate negotiation) >victory after victory >convenience beyond reason >a way to kill Mother Talzin There is no Luck.
He is a capable and extremely skilled acrobat who can put glasses and plates into complex structures in only a few seconds. When it suits his goals.
Aiden Ross
That's a good trick. Kind of like when his clumsiness had him almost kill the entire Naboo aside from a single person. Namely, Jar Jar. His impeccable aim saved Padme on Mon Calamari. His blaster fire aim was good too.
Yet he was too stupid to keep a job as a Senatorial hanger-on or attaché with the Gungan military?
Parker Watson
Stay there.
Easton Thomas
mundo goes where he pleases
Brayden Rodriguez
>Jar Jar is the key to all of this The quote is actually >Jar Jars the key to all this, if we get Jar Jar working. Because hes a funnier character than we've ever had in these movies before. Sounds more like George thought Jar Jar was a funny character that would appeal to people. Fits in nicely with the George Lucas is a moron fan theory.
Anthony Scott
>it's basically confirmed as Lucas' canon at this point How?
Kayden James
>dude let's turn this character into a depressing failure because he wasn't liked by the fans LMAO
That's fucking sadistic.
Nicholas Moore
>reading anything by Cuck Wendig
Colton Nelson
George Lucas' self insert.
Landon Thomas
It wasnt
Anons pulling shit out their ass
Anthony Anderson
If you read the original theory and watch the accompanying vid, the cgi choices (which are very expensive and deliberate) can't really be otherwise explained. The actor that did the mo-cap for Jar Jar and who talked about the character with Lucas has basically confirmed it. The deleted scenes add a LOT of credence to the theory (one particular scene in which Palpatine personally thanks Jar Jar in achieving his power, low-key) (sorry for linking to it but..) r/StarWars/comments/3qvj6w/theory_jar_jar_binks_was_a_trained_force_user/
Read the comments too Certain things just suddenly make a lot more sense
Jayden Rivera
nice autism reddit
Ryan Torres
>being right is autism
Levi Morales
No it's literally a non canon reddit meme theory.
Kayden Harris
>The Gungan makes a hmm sound. kek what hack wrote this shit?
Wyatt Ortiz
>i can only express myself in buzzwords what did he mean by this?
Justin Wilson
Why would anybody want to associate with the retard who gave emergency powers to the most dangerous man in the galaxy? At least he wasn't encased in carbonite for all eternity like in the old EU.
Colton Garcia
Look up the author. There have been multiple threads about him before. Chuck 'the cuck ' Wendig.
Parker Cruz
this broke my sides user please post more
William Russell
Would you take a Jar Job?
Justin Garcia
Conking his head is on purpose to make the kids laugh.
Ryan Torres
>Disney made literally everything they published "official canon" Why?
Dominic Wright
Source
Jordan Morris
>implying the Darth Jar Jar theory is good
He's a shitty character because he's a shitty character, not because he was cool and evil all along. Sometimes life ain't fair.
Bentley Cox
i award you with some amount of internets. that fan theory was such garbage. I can't believe it survived for as long as it did.
Christopher Hernandez
It survived because it's more interesting than anything that actually happened in the prequels, save for pod racing.
Luis White
Same guy that thinks "herkily-jerkily" is an acceptable adjective to describe a TIE Fighter flying in the air.
Anthony Jenkins
He was a shitty character The theory put that shitty character into context If it had been carried out, he would have been less shitty
Justin Smith
more people will buy it
Josiah Foster
>If it had been carried out But it wasn't, so the end result is a bunch of fatasses nudging and winking at each other like it's what's really going on, but it just looks desperate to excuse a character that got more attention than he deserved even back when everybody was just crying and stomping their feet about him.
William King
You seem very triggered. In reality, it's just fans upset that the clear intention for the character was pushed aside due to Lucas' fears of audience reactions. And now Disney are outright affirming a different canon, and in the process retconning many of Jar Jar's previously canon traits
Brody Watson
Meesa creepy
Young ones sleepy
Julian Peterson
>But it wasn't, so the end result is a bunch of fatasses nudging and winking at each other like it's what's really going on, but it just looks desperate to excuse a character that got more attention than he deserved even back when everybody was just crying and stomping their feet about him. Honestly I feel like it was just a funny meme that this shit tier character somehow was a master mind.
Would take an autist to think that the theory was serious and a bigger autist to get worked up over it on the internet.
Thomas Jones
Anybody going to source where this is from?
Jayden Barnes
look for yourself faggot
Isaiah Powell
>(here is a quote from a thing) >where is it from? >"TEEHEEE WONT TELL YOU FAGGOT" What a piece of shit you must be
Kayden Diaz
You easily could have done a google search to find it yourself you worthless fuck.
Joshua Myers
>yfw Jar Jar is like The Mule from the Foundation series.
Zachary Bailey
You take this all too seriously, mate
Owen Garcia
fuck off back where you came from
Hunter Hill
Relax you hugbox aspie
Ian Barnes
>Relax you hugbox aspie do the search faggot
Luis Reed
I can't keep up with these Star Wars novels
I've read Lords of the Sith and Tarkin, where do I go next?
Landon Lewis
Kill yourself nuwars faggot.
Blake Adams
At least I'm not screeching like a child
Bentley Ramirez
Catalyst
John Bell
Gosh that is some awful writing
Evan Sanders
how does telling someone to do a search correlate with screeching like a child?
Adam Johnson
>FAGGOT >GO BACK >REEEEEEE
Leo Gray
have you done the search yet?
Owen Walker
>You lost. no.... no....
Andrew Baker
Never go full Gungan.
Elijah Walker
It was Lucasfilm's decision. Old EU worked in tiers because it would contradict itself. You're still free to ignore whatever you don't like though.
Brody Lopez
>star wars thread die off in the past week as we eagerly yearn and suffer for ep8 trailer or any sort of news >rest of the threads are fucking empty with 20>replies at best
Easton Robinson
I thought that in Attack of the Clones, it showed Jar Jar as a representative for the Gungans? He was helping Palpatine's case for a new republic army. Didi't the Gungans accept him back after the battle?
Caleb Peterson
here's your reading guide
you're welcome
Jonathan Hughes
>Jar Jar Binks, a minor part in Phantom Menace, and and even smaller in subsequent films, "ruined" the pt Jar Jar isn't in the prequels as much as you remember.
Jason James
Around the survivors a perimeter create.
Levi Wright
Poor jarjar
;_;
Isaiah Lewis
"No!"
Blake Price
Kino I N O
Jayden Cruz
its almost as bad as harry potter LOL
Dylan King
>what did he meme by this right back at you buckaroo
Charles Sanders
10/10 PERFECT
Josiah Young
>a minor part Holy hell, this board is absolute garbage now
Chase Ortiz
this made me imagine the ending narration of the assassination of jesse james by the coward robert ford but done in jar jar speak about jar jar >dersa would be no eulogies for jar jar...
Josiah Scott
Besides the usual reddit shit Sup Forums seems worse than usual today. Is it illegal immigrants from imdb?
Eli Cooper
>Let's turn this silly wacky character intended for children that George Lucas said was based around his childhood and Goofy, and make him a miserable waste, depressed and alone, because some fans didn't like him What the fuck, Disney. You hate Lucas, eh? #JusticeforJarJar
Isaac Robinson
>politically correct minstrel what could you possibly have meant by this?
