Indiana Jones 5

So I recently got fired from Lucasfilm and Ive been drinking sooooooo time to leak what I know about indiana jones 5

The film opens in Russia. The Russians have been digging up and constructing a lot of new places for the space race. A Dr.Smith is there to over see some of the Mongolian artifacts that Russia is finding. He is there with his assistant who is there to verify the Asian artifacts. After some confusion, we learn the assisstant doesn't speak mongolian and is an adult Short-round. It doesn't take long after this for Dr.Smith to be revealed to be Dr.Jones. Short-Round and Jones are now on the run. Through a chase it seems implied that the Russians were going to fake the moon landing. Through the space testing Short-round and Jones manage to get launched up in the air, with one parachute and land on a fishing boat, headed to Alaska

in Alaska Indiana tries to contact American Government. The fisherman set them up with Canadian mounties who will be traveling through Alaska to an airport. They learn of an issue a mining company has had with Native Americans lately. That they're digging in scared ground.
The Mounties, indy and short-round are attacked while on horseback. In the Attack Short-Round meets a girl named Charlotte. An Aleut native. They have an exchange about being belittled and pushed and aside and it is short-round who pushes Indy to help the Aleut people.

The miners are using illegal and dangerous methods to search for gold. Dynamite, water pressure and so on. It turns on the miners aren't just looking for gold, they are trying to find a catacombs system that is burried in Alaska
Charolette seems to have a ability to sneak up on indy and short-round. That's when she shows them her charm, a necklace she wears. It is able to turn her invisible. It is made of gold. Short-round suggests to sell it, buy some guns. Short-round slowly learns to understand that a peoples culture can mean a lot. There's a lot of diologue about being an orphan and wandering with nothing and being loved.
Charolette tells them about how a charm was stolen, but they don't know how to use it. They ride a tramway up the station area where the charm should be. They find out the mounties are being paid in gold by a man Lafleur, who is searching for the catacombs.
There's another action sequence as they flee with the charm and are falling down a broken cable tram. Turning invisible and trying to off goons.
Charolette reveals she knows where the catacombs are. Lafleur reveals he doesn't really care, he is just trying to destroy their home. The begin using a hydralis mining rig on the catacombs area. Lafleur is wrecking it, tons of mounties and goons as guards. The three use the invisbility to try and take them all, switching the charms between the three.
Charolette even uses the charm to turn boulders invsible so goons run right into them.
Finally Lafleur is happy to see his results, all the desutrction has paid off. Indy looks down and see's a huge foot print in the dirt. He looks up to see a hair figure turning back and looking at him . Lafleur was after this creature.
The American Government shows up and arrests the goons, mounties and LaFleur, Short-round decides to stay with the Aleut people.

All bullshit. Nice try. It's set in Greece and about Atlantis.

Bro this isn't reddit. Put that shit in greentext.

No. I'm telling the truth. Also there is a subplot about the Russians controlling the American President. JFK is depicted as a womanizing Trump -like figure who is also very stupid and controlled by the Soviets. After his assassination Indy ironically says that it's a shame JFK is dead but at least we won't have another Russian-controlled playboy manchild in the White House.

>Hollywood film not sucking JFK's dead cock

Doubt

If it takes place close to the moon landing, JFK would have been dead for years. Either Nixon or Johnson would be president.

Kill yourself faggot

It's close to the beginning. It fast forwards a few years later in the film.

Fake and gay

my dad works at atari, and he says they were approached to make a game based on this, it's 100% real.

That already exists.

Did Indiana Jones forget about the Roosevelts?

>Lafleur
>Bigfoot

get this harry and the hendersons fanfic shit outta here

Guys, what made the crystal skull fall short?

It almost made my list for "fun". But something was off...

So the Russians are depicted as corporate feudalists and the Americans are obligated to become Friends of Asia? In the late 1960's, predating Nixon?

Bullshit

Shia.

And Indy getting fucking nuked.

Roosevelts don't appear but there is a slapstick scene involving Gerald Ford. The scene is based off how he fell off that bus but with some Temple of Doom style slapstick.

Okay so it's the 70's and Harrison Ford looks like pic related.

Shia was okay, I was up for some Back To The Future style antics in subsequent sequels but the terrible CGI made that unfeasible.

Aren't you forgetting who runs Hollywood?

>ng;dr

My wife's son works for Disney and he told me that you're OBJECTIVELY wrong in every regard.

Why is a 73 year old man the center of a Western-adventure film again? Just hire an up-and-coming actor and make more Indiana Jones movies. People care about the franchise and the vibe of the film far more than they do Harrison Ford.

You know, I really wouldn't mind a movie with old Indy playing the same type of role that his dad did in Last Crusade.

Then towards the end Sean Connery shows up in a cameo.

Im sure there will be people mentioning cgi gophers and fridges as the cause but the previous movies had similar jokes and obvious model shots and nobody gave a fuck. The main problems were:

>Family reunion plot.
>Too many good guy characters.
Indy, Shia, Marion, moustache guy (sometimes) AND John Hurt. Means no one gets enough time.
>Lackluster bad guy
I like Blanchett, but she wasn't good here. I guess she was suppossed to have supernatural powers at some point, but it was forgotten everytime a new scriptwriter got hired.
>Lackluster set pieces
Nuke town, university chase and ant fight were ok.
Jungle run had too much cgi, not real or exciting enough.
Peruvian cemetery, final temple were formulaic and boring.
The only thing that was great was the Area 51 fight.
>and the main problem
>Frankenstein script
You hire 10 guys over 20 years to write scenes for a story, and it ends bloated and without connection, and full of exposition dialog to make it kind of work. Who would have thought, eh.

That was a better Indiana Jones 4

Henry Jones is canonically dead according to Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

The twist is Indy IS the age old relic they've been searching for

>implying Indy just doesn't believe he's dead because he went missing year ago, but really he found Atlantis or something and got stuck there

I've been writing an Indy 5 screenplay with zero experience and I'm already expecting it to be better than whatever Disney shits out.

>fanfic writer who thinks their writing is hot shit

What a surprise.

My dad works at Nintendo

So is Shia going to come back in this one?

Too busy shouting "HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US!!!!!!!!!!!!" into the void

>i've been drinking..

Credibility??? it went over like a lead balloon.