ALAN

ALAN

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Oh dear.

Why's everyone shitting on that scene? He's traumatized by raptors and he's flying above their territory, dreaming about one isn't strange

I dreamt I fucked Pepe once after spending too much time here

I find it hilarious that they put the claws on the front seat

Somehow this shot is creepy as hell and gave me the spooks when I was watching this at cinema

What was it like?

Still better than Jurassic World.

1, 2, 4, 3

>introduce cool mercenary team with proficiency in weapons
>kill 2 of them off right in the beginning (and crying) while the 3 one dies horrifically by velociraptors (and getting his fight scene with them cut)
bravo Johnston

The raptor trick scene was a GOAT scene though, probably the best or second best scene in III

I agree but cutting out that Udesky fight was a huge slap in the face

I don't think people are shitting on it.

Bitch please, I don't care who you are if one of this big motherfuckers was hunting you down you're gonna run and you're gonna cry because you know this is the end.

>tfw you love the Spinosaurus but hate that stupid fucking fight between him and the T-Rex
Anyone else feel me?
They could have easily had them both in the movie without Jack Horner's wankfest.

Best Scenes in Jurassic Park: Claw Scratch POWER RANKINGS

1.) Spinosaurus standing at the tree line
2.) Velociraptor wounding trick
3.) Swimming Spinosaurus
4.) Pterodactyl dome up until the scene where it picks the chad up
5.) Velociraptor strategic comms
6.) Initial Spinosaurus runway scene
....
9000.) T-rex for no reason showing up
9001.) ALAN
9002.) Alan and a kid lol whacky hijinks
9003.) "I bypassed the escape scene and called my friend who runs the 5th fleet and just happened to be in the area"
9004.) Muh eggs

Except that "big motherfucker" would be too busy being a fish eating pussy and doing other gay shit to even notice me

I was fucking a woman cowgirl and she leaned back, her head went "off-screen" and when she reached a point where I could see her again she'd turned into pepe. Pretty sure he had his smug hand too. I woke up soon after

What would you guys do if you were trapped in the middle of Isla Sorna?
What kind of gear would you take with you?

10 gallons of t-rex piss

Claymores, grenades.

The fish they ate were as large as you, and they probably hunted similarly to crocodiles.

You would be on the menu, friend.

...

Wouldn't that lure more T-Rexes towards you over mating season?
I always thought it was stupid that the kid had that shit saved.

because it's stupid gag that doesn't even add to anything

...

they might think im a t-rex baby and then i can manipulate them all to take over the island desu

>Jurassic Park scientists never recreated Titanoboas

Why?

That scene was probably the one thing I can't defend about this movie. The ringtone sounding through the Spinosaur's body is fucking goofy.

So avoid large bodies of water.

>have to solve 7 different captchas to post one useless line

>not realizing that Alan's first outing in Jurassic Park gave him such bad PTSD that he kept believing his friends and loved ones were actually velociraptors to the point of not being able to marry Ellie

>he didn't get to fuck the dinosaur before waking up

no wonder this movie tanked.

Thermal vision goggles

Y'all bitches don't know 'bout my Carnotaurus

this movie is so much better than that world flick

...

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>tfw Sattler cucked Grant in JP3

It didn't have to be like this.

You know the only major problem I still have with this movie is how there's so many cool hints at how there might have been more gene splicing and other crazy experiments at Isla Sorna (hence why the raptors are so intelligent and other shit) but the plot is so focused on that stupid family's quest to find their son that it's all scrapped aside.
It really feels like they had another plot written for the movie but it got changed right before they started shooting, I still enjoy it more than Jurassic World though.

A minor thing but having the run time only be 90 minutes was kind of annoying.

Because the raptor says "ALAN." It's fucking dumb and hilarious, the opposite of it's intent I assume. He should have had something like Mr. Arnold's severed arm occur like in the first film.

ALAN the tax rates we're paying on this park are far too high. We'll need to put up ticket prices.

>get badass looking actor
>make him die like a pussy
pottery

my fucking sides

>really feels like they had another plot written for the movie but it got changed right before they started shooting

Yeah, because they did. They had a GOAT plot written in The Lost World, but they decided to splice the book up and randomly place aspects of it in different films.

All they had to do was put The Lost World on film and it would have been great. Instead we end up with the meme monster fights, a kid beating dinosaurs with gymnastics, and piss kid.

I still love The Lost World's movie but your quads don't lie, they should have stuck by the book.

Funny enough the arcade machine actually went more by the book.

can you please explain the tax rate thing I've seen all over the board for the past few days? Is this the new bane thing or what?

How many times did JP3 jump the shark?

Lets count

>ALAN
>Raptor behind test tube
>Satellite Phone sheningans
>Dinosaur man
>Spino standing like an autist
>Raptor flute
>Grant can speak raptor
>T Rex V Spinosaur fight
>Dinosaur mugging straight down the camera

GRR Martin criticised Tolkien for not going into depth about the economy of Middle Earth. He said in an interview he was more interested in Aragorns tax policy.

Its stupid because GRR Martin doesn't even go into detail himself into these kind of issues because hes a shit hack.

A hilarious meme was born with lord of the rings quotes rehashed to be talking about the economy.

Don't forget
>The military showing up like it's a fucking John Milius movie

Why did the Spinosaurus keep following them after the T-Rex fight anyways?

The first movie shows the T-Rex following humans because it doesn't know if they're prey yet (until it eats the lawyer, plus it's shown hunting other smaller dinosaurs on the way), the second movie shows a giant group of humans invading their territory and hurting their baby, but in the third movie we see the Spinosaurus taking down the other biggest predator on the island and having plenty more to eat along the way so why would he keep following a couple humans?

On that note, how was he not in a shitload of pain after getting his sail clipped by the plane?
That would probably be a crippling injury irl.

>Dr. Saddler somehow gets the entire US Navy to assault Site B to rescue Grant.

ALAN!

I think an entire amphibious assault force showing up at the end, inexplicably led by a bloke who rushed their from dinner, was the only real "shark jump", well besides the raptor chatting.

He'll always be Zito from Miami Vice to me

Why did grant daydream about a raptor with the little feather things on its head, when he had never seen those raptors before?

>get that scene
>don't get a sequel showing the military forces assaulting the island and getting attacked

>that scene leading up to this when the kid recognizes the ringtone and is running after it

I could never understand what he was saying and it always sounded like he was singing to me.

He was singing the jingle for Kirby's Paint and Tile Plus

Imagine being Rexy in that scene and having to be all like "damn, Spinosaurus, you fuckin' apex predator, all sexy with your scaly body and horrific crocodylus monster face. I would totally let you snap my spine, both my character and the real me." when all he really wants to do is eat another 6 ton triceratops in his territory. Like seriously imagine having to be Rexy and not only stand in that canopy while Spinosaurus flaunts her disgusting body in front of you, the favorable lighting barely concealing her bitemarks and mannish arms, and just sit there, take after take, hour after hour, while she perfected that roar and neck snap. Not only having to tolerate her monstrous fucking visage but her haughty attitude as everyone on set tells her she's THE NEW T-REX and DAMN, SPINOSAURUS LOOKS LIKE *THAT*?? because they're not the ones who have to stand there and watch her prehistoric fucking crocodile face contort into types of grimaces you didn't even know existed before that day. You've been eating nothing but a healthy diet of Parasaurolophuses and Gallimimuses and later alleged InGen bite victims for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the jungles in Isla Sorna. You've never even seen anything this fucking disgusting before, and now you swear you can taste the blood that's breaking out on her crumpled sail from the plane crash as she sucks it in to writhe it suggestively at you, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to get paid to stand there and revel in her "theropodesque (for that is what she calls herself)" beauty, the beauty she worked so hard for with Jack Horner in the previous months. And then the director calls for another take, and you know you could kill and eat every single person on the set before the studio security could put you down with tranquilizers, but you sit there and endure, because you're fucking Rexy. You're not going to lose your future sequel career over this. Just bear it. Hide your severed spine and bear it.

Nice

>wanting giant snakes on your island
they may have been crazy but not retarded

Kek

I have seen a beautiful mountaintop

Maybe spino found humans delicious and wanted more.

What's the plot of the Lost World book?

tfw eddie will never rescue you from tumbling a cliff face with his strong powerful mercedes
youtube.com/watch?v=nTtnqMynJjo

I've brought this up before in another thread, but it bothers me they used the JP3 design for the raptor in this part. Those raptors were exclusive to Isla Sorna and Grant had never seen them before. The raptor in this scene should be the original design if it was his dream. Makes no sense he dreams of a raptor he'd never seen before.

>showing character has nightmares about previous horrifying experience
>not adding anything

>What's the plot of the Lost World book?

Essentially like the first 2/3rds of the movie (there is no san diego rampage) with Ian and his daughter and few others trying to study the dinosaurs while an evil company tries to capture the DNA of the dinosaurs. All i remember in specifics after that is a volcano explodes and destroys the island at the end

>HI BILLY MAYS HERE

there's no volcano, they just leave the island
you're probably thinking of the Jurassic Park novel, where the Costa Rica army blows up Isla Nubar

Im crying

I never understood why they didn't take shitloads of DNA samples from the dinosaurs to use for future clones.

STEVE!

>Giant cuckosaur starts chasing me
>Starts gasping for air a few seconds later because of decreased atmospheric oxygen
>tfw to intelligent for dinos

What is Dooku doing with his hand

Oh yeah I guess you were right. The novels sort of run together in my mind. I thought the Pterosaur cage was in the second book as well ti I re-read the first one.

Why didn't they just stab this raptor with something?
Also never understood why they didn't grab any of the weapons from the plane when they ran out.

Nothing. That dinosaur's vision is based on motion, thus he stands perfectly still. Just like Django who also hardly moved and therefore could kill the dinosaur.
That's why dinosaurs make shitty jedi.

>tfw the velociraptor special effects in JP3 look 10 times better than in Jurassic World which came out 14 years later
Seriously how did they make them so fucking good?
Even the CG looks beautiful.

bad dragon is really doing some interesting designs.

If I didn't know what CGI was and you showed me pic, I'd be certain that is a real fucking lizard.

Imagine getting in a time machine and showing JP to people in the 60's. Just say that yeah, we brought dinosaurs back and this is the first kino that came from it.

I blame the color grading. JPIII had a similar color pallet to the original. JW on the other hand looked generically orange and blue and shiny. I just feel in the first three they had technological limitations so they had to film it in a way that compensated for the CG. I dunno. I could be way off base but that's what I noticed when I saw the movie. Just didn't "look" like a JP film

because he's a paleontologist who studies dinosaurs. as we've learned more about them, our mental images of what their bodies looked like have changed.

I actually think you're right on the money, the first three movies feel like you're really on a tropical island with dinosaurs and the color grading really helps with that.
Jurassic World felt fake as fuck to me the whole time, didn't help that it barely had any practical effects at all despite being a staple of the series.

I do wonder if a fan edit of the film would make it look better, I really fucking hate that orange and blue palette they keep adding to every blockbuster these days.

you can only jump the shark once

>didn't help that it barely had any practical effects at all

This is also a big problem with JW. Not to mention the main practical effect was the dying diplodicus which despite being a real thing looked faker than anything previously. Even it was too shiny and post-processed looking. The Trike in JP looked dusty and dirty like a rhino at the zoo and you see the whole creature breathing heavily with Grant right on top of it. The longneck on the other just looked like a prop head around five feet long off screen that the actor's sort of interact with. When I think of the first movie I think of Greens, Dark Blues and some pinks and reds for highlights. Same with TLW and JPIII, although they darkened those colors and washed them out a bit more each time. Jurassic World though is indistinguishable visually from any number of blockbuster movies. The art design in general was lackluster all around. This may seem like nitpicks to a lot of people but it really stuck out to me. Its the kind of stuff you don't notice until it isn't there like good editing.

youtube.com/watch?v=M28JwMUknNk

Scene above is the only good part of JW, partially because of what you guys are talking about: it looks real.

Over-animated. Animals' faces don't move that much. Hell, peoples' faces don't move that much.

Seeing it again I do agree with you. The long camera shot down the body allows you to buy into the scene. Still, despite how well molded it is it just looks a little too shiny and wet looking. It is better on re-watch though. The only scene which managed to tug my heart strings at all.

First time I saw this I was sad, upon rewatching it those eyes look way too mammal-like.
Still one of the better scenes in the movie.

Also it feels like there's nothing left at stake in the movie after everyone on the island is in the shelter, there was no reason for Bryce Thiccness-Howard and the kids to be with the mercenaries using the raptors on the I-Rex (also didn't make sense how they had absolutely no communication with the mainland to start getting people evacuated immediately or why they just cut to nighttime in the middle of the flying dinosaurs attacking).

I want to like this movie but every time I rewatch it, it gets a little bit worse.
At least I can rewatch JP3 and still get a huge kick out of seeing realistic-looking (for our sake) dinosaurs in the wild.

Jurassic World is better than JP ///

Practical effects or not

I was six years old when I saw this in the cinema and my mom said I jumped out of my seat

I love this movie to death, since I was younger than kids who saw Jurassic Park first I always loved the Spinosaurus more than the T-Rex and loved how he snapped the T-Rex's neck but I get why most people like the T-Rex more

It's really not. JP3 was lackluster, Jurassic World was an insult.

And when Jurassic Park 3 is bad it's weird and kind of endearing. It makes a lot of dumb decisions but they're still fun to watch. Valiant failures, I guess.

But when JW is bad it's just boring, which is the worst thing a movie can be, especially one featuring genetically modified dinosaurs. Only joy I got from it was seeing the Park open and when that raptor runs in for the assist at the end. That shit was so fucking dumb I burst out laughing in the theatre.

youtube.com/watch?v=RxrvaneULkE

Anyone remember the hype from this trailer when they were younger?
I was only 5 when it came out but seeing it in theaters was unreal.

That wave of the chorus coming in at 0:20 gives me chills. I can't think of anything else like it. What a great mood-setter.

>Vince Vaughn is the direct cause of all the turmoil
>"Send rescue immediately!"

First draft pottery.

Alan get out of my house!
>Meeeeeeeeeeeen

I disagree, despite all the fanservice the plot and characters (which people really take for granted in JP movies) were really bland and they didn't do enough to establish what happened between Jurassic Park and Jurassic World when Masrani took over.

It reminds me a lot of The Force Awakens, it tried hard to appeal to fans by adding in tons of references to the first movie (old jeeps, visitor's center, the original T-Rex, old designs,etc), and cool stuff more akin to the books (gene-splicing with the I-Rex) but in the end it felt way too much like a generic blockbuster that was made more with the goal of making a shitload of money than actually making a proper revival for the series.

Don't get me wrong, I'm fucking ecstatic that dinosaur movies are finally coming back, but the people at the helm of this really don't get what made the movies so good.

>how to tell the audience "Fuck you" in one image

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Had to have it kill the T-Rex to establish it as a higher-level threat. The rex wasn't going to spook anyone anymore after 2 films.

Why was Tembo so based?

maybe because THE RAPTOR WAS ACTUALLY THERE

spoopy