Youtube Critic General

Anyone else hate this cunt?

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>Youtube "critic" general

Ok Sup Forums, imagine this.

>You're a young girl, good looking, plucky.
>The sort of girl who leaves high school with her whole life ahead of her.
>You meet this guy. He's kinda funny, a little bit socially awkward but he's cute.
>He does film videos for YouTube and has a following, so that's a bit of a turn on.
>You start dating and slowly the cracks begin to show.
>His social skills actually leave a lot to be desired, he can only ever talk about movies and true cinema and anime. It's fun sometimes but just once you'd like him to ask you about your day.
>You start to think about breaking up with him. But you worry that because he works from home he'll have no one else left.
>Not only that, but he seems very petty and that he wouldn't hesitate in publicly shaming you on his channel.
>You're at dinner one night, you're busy fantasising about the cute waiter that keeps smiling at you.
>You see your boyfriend get down off the chair to tie his shoe or something. You nod and agree to whatever he's saying while making eyes at the waiter.
>Suddenly the whole restaurant starts clapping.
>What's going on?
>You look down and realise he just proposed to you.
>Oh no.
>He starts crying and blubbering about how he's so happy your parents agreed and he can't wait to spend the rest of his life with you.
>On the way back to the car the realisation sinks in.
>You're trapped with this sperg.
>Your hopes of becoming a photographer, traveling to India, and exploring the world disappear.
>He just grins as he sits in the passenger seat next to you (he can't drive of course).
>You look down and see that he's unzipped his pants.
>His 4.5 inch penis is at full mast.
>This is your life now.
>You go down and begin to fellate him.
>You start to cry as you realise your hopes and dreams die in this moment.
>You look up at the man who ruined your life and see pic related

Hate who? Oh, that's right. Hate someone on Jewpoob that I never watch.

>critics

I'm laffin'.

he's the worst. his hand gestures are so autistic.

He is truely a tragic figure

He's a pleb, and has some trash taste (liking suicide squad, TFA, Avengers 2 etc.) but at least he's unpretentious about it and knows he's kind of a pleb. Stuckmann and Doug Walker are just garbage who are actually pretentious

lmfao

>mfw

>but at least he's unpretentious about it and knows he's kind of a pleb
This. I don't mind Jeremy because he doesn't have any sense of elitism

Why hate him?

He's a pleb, and acknowledges it. That's fine by me, people are allowed to ave less cultured and refined opinions, and honestly, most people do and they probably have a better time at the movies than me. I, for example, cannot sit through a Transformers movie. It's just too dumb for me to turn my brain off and accept. But I'm sure that the millions of people who do watch it ave a fun and enjoyable time.

Different stroke for different folks. So long as a reviewer doesn't think that they're better than everyone else and that their opinion matters more, I'm OK with them.

kek, these filenames

I really hope that image is a parody of reviewers who try to pretend they're huge Star Wars fans by buying a bunch of Star Wars shit at the last minute for their review and slapping it together.

that's kinky

>critic

Jeremy Jahns, Chris Stuckmann, The Flick Pick, Shmoes Know

These are not reviewers. They are bloggers/vloggers.

A "non-spoiler review" is not a review

A review is a critical analysis of a piece of media.

Summarizing the plot, giving your opinion, and then shilling an advertisement at the end of your video is not a review. It is a blog/vlog

A reviewer is someone like the Nostalgia Critic (as much as I can't stand the guy and his cringe-worthily unfunny skits). He analyzes the entire film. He critiques it.

Chris has, as he would say, 'Stuckmannized' me twice in the past. I used to be a really big fan and got to talking to him on Twitter. He even invited me over to his a couple of times XD!! On the first occasion, his wife was away at the Toronto film festival and he invited me over to watch the entire Nolan stretch of Batman films. Well, in Batman Begins, at the point where the Joffrey kid turns to Batman and tells him, "the other kids won't believe me", Chris paused the bluray and told me that the other kids wouldn't believe me either. He left the room, and when he returned he was wearing a poor imitation of Ryan Goslings outfit in Drive and he proceeded to rape me for five minutes. He was constantly chattering about how it would only be 5 minutes and that there was no way it could go in or outside of that time. After the 5 minutes were up, I wiggled out from underneath him and ran crying from his house. He screamed after me that he, "didn't have wheels on his dick", whatever that meant. The second time happened a couple of weeks later, he invited me over to finish watching the movies. At the point in the aeroplane in TDKR, he again paused the film and left the room. When he returned, he was dressed as Bane, complete with fake muscles. He stood over me and asked me if he was a, "Big Guy". I realised i was dealing with a psychopath at this point so I told him I thought he was a big guy. He hit me across the face and asked, "But am i a Big Guy for you?”. He motioned towards his dick, which he constantly referred to as “Zod’s snapped neck”, and told me to tell it to Zod’s snapped neck. I told his penis that he was a big guy for me, and he flipped me over and started talking me from behind, constantly moaning in a crude imitation of Hardy's Bane. And he was a good friend.

...

Someone post the autist webm

The most normal of normalfags.

Just because somebody has a different taste than you, doesn't make them shit. Majority of people actually like TFA.

Stuckmann is legitimately shit, he thinks his some conessuer or something but he doesn't give any actual depth to anything he reviews and has some false sense of theoretical value

I love this one

I disagree. While I don't agree with all his views, his reviews are professionally done.

>his reviews are professionally done

Examples of professionalism being?

Even he himself said that he isn't a critic but a guy who shares his opinion with the audience.

Stuckmann, his Dudebro friend and RedditLM on the other hand ..

Such a punchable face.

How fucked up is it that I'm starting to suspect this is actually what he's like in real life?

Obviously I don't know the guy but there's just something about his mannerisms that make me think he's kind of a manbaby, and not in the everyday internet loser kind of way.

More like in a "I can't believe you're this much of a sperging weenie even though you're 6'4 and look like a normie chad."

I think you're right. Again, I don't know him personally but his response video to the whole "snapped neck" thing was quite telling imo. He handled it all very weirdly

Watch his video about RLM calling him a prick if you haven't already.

It really gets the ol' neurons firing.

youtube.com/watch?v=2qpT7bWSgwg

I was dying the whole time

Yea the pretentious faget is on collider now too

I don't hate him but the frequency in which he jacks off to capeshit is really annoying.

nope, because I don't watch him.

cough cough

I don't even know who that is.

People who watch YouTube movie reviews are fucking pathetic to begin with