I am God, Sup Forums

I am God, Sup Forums.

Prove me wrong.

Will answer questions about the universe and the true Dogma.

Who created you? And why are you such an asshole?

I was not created. My existence cannot be explained in the simple terms such as time. I am not an asshole.

Who's got the right idea, the Catholics or the Protestants?

What is the mark of the beast?

What is the smartest question I could ask you right now?

What's the deal with Iapetus's ridge?

Will Donald J. Trump win the election and become President of the United States? If, is he going to get re-elected?

>Be me
>24
>in mah room playing vidya
>just woke up from day of sleeping in
>Mom calls me
>She made meatloaf
>Go eat, it's good I guess
>Then I noticed she cooked in fucking onions
>I spit it out and refused to eat it

How do I get over my irrational dislike of onions and other vegies?
I don't think girls like guy's with a shit taste in food.

Neither. All "Churches" have strayed from the true path. But I do not care much which you follow

The mark of the Beast is 666. It represents materialist knowledge, as opposed to spiritual knowledge. As you know, I have designed you based on carbon. Carbon is made of 6 protons, 6 neutrons and 6 electrons. As science progresses, people start believeing that they are just that, matter, and no soul. This leads to damnation. This is the Beast.

The smartest question to ask cannot be asked in terms of language. To ask it, you must join me in heaven first.

A natural phenomenon, as your scientists would say.

I will not answer questions about the future. That would jeopardize your free will.

>It represents materialist knowledge, as opposed to spiritual knowledge.

This is why eating from the tree of knowledge was forbidden, no? Humanity's original first sin shall be its last?

Thank you for your wisdom.

Can you answer us questions about the past?

Was Jesus your true son?

what are the "lights" on Ceres.

Come on God that's too vague spill the beans.

The end of the material universe will come from science, yes.

Do more then two gender exist?

What happens when humanity becomes so advanced they transcend your own power?

Why are you communicating through a meme materalist-based and produced imageboard to people who are clearly invested in materialist knowledge and things because they also post on that image board?

He was not my son "biologically" speaking. I do not possess DNA. But he was indeed my avatar on Earth, merged with a true human soul. This creared a bond between you humans and me. Since I, in form of Jesus, have resurected, so can you, through Jesus.

Not among humans.

They cannot. In their quest to reach divinity, they will find their doom.

How do I get into Heaven? Will my dead cat be there? I sure do miss him.

>omniscient and omnipotent
>can't even spell "created"

FUCK OFF FALSE PROPHET

Celebrities get aides to do their AMAs on reddit. I don't see why God would do His own AMA.

I am God. I am not bound by Typography. The message was transmitted regardless.

kek
God's spelling of the word "created" is the true spelling. We ignorant humans just spelled it wrong all the time.

For the same reason I communicated with pagans. The salvation of the sinners requires my intervention more than those of the faithfull.

Considering materialist knowledge and ingenuity is what has allowed humans to go so far beyond their own natural limits and will continue to do so, your advice goes against our own self interest. Are you trying to trick us? How do we know you aren't the Beast, considering he is a master of trickery and deception. One would assume that such a master would not so easily be identified.

Oh but of course Hans. My mistake. Just like the fact that we've always been at war with Eastasia.

If someone cannot know of your existence, do they still go to hell for failing to worship you?

You must pass the judgment. Your cat will not be in heaven. But if you do join me if heaven, you will not miss your cat anymore.

What makes the human race superior over every other creatures? Why do we deserve salvation and other animals do not?

Your natural limit was eternity in Eden. Your quest for knowledge has already removed you from it. But only through repentance can you return, not through furthering your sin.

Certainly, not all will accept me as who I am. But neither will I accept all into heaven.

Are ayys real?

Depends. Most likely, since they are not free from the original sin. But some will be saved regardless.

Why? Isn't that incredibly cruel and harsh and nonsensical?

Also, why did you decide to use a US IP address?

I.

Yes.

You're a pathetic waste of space. A real piece of shit.

You're 24 years old, with no job, sleeping all day because there's no purpose to your life. Then, you're such a rotten ungrateful little shit that you spit out the food that your mother worked hard to prepare for you. You only dislike onions because you live such a privileged and pampered life that you can pick and choose what you eat, rather than having to be satisfied with what you have. And that makes you weak.

Forget girls, man. You've got a lot of work to do on yourself before you should even think of that.

At 24 years old, not only should you be able to live on your own, you should be cooking for yourself, and would know the wholesome goodness of an onion, a food mankind has subsisted on for thousands of years.

You're developmentally stunted; a grown child.

Are ayys also faithful to you? Are they designed exactly in our image?

You are everywhere. What's your favourite place to look upon me? Do you get mad when I masturbate?

>Do you get mad when I masturbate?
Someone asking the real important questions.

As if anyone here would change his masturbation habits even if literally god says that he dislikes it

Jian or Culter?

The original sin was nonsensical. &eaven and hell are similar, and mostly a reflection of the soul. If the soul is unclean, so will be its existence.

No.

Answer my question, newfag

I do not look apon you. I am aware of you constantly.

No.

How to cure cancer?

If you are aware of me, give me one personal detail on who I am.

Can you feel when I feel sad or I feel pain?
Thank you for answering my question and thanks for not caring about what I do with my benis.

You don't know if you were created or not, but it is relatively safe to not follow any kind of organized religion.

Death.

Why are we here? Just to suffer?

That would be a proof of my existence. So I would become a fact, and not a belief. That would prevent you from truly loving me. Thus, you would be condemned to hell.

SAGAVE

I can feel that you feel, but I don't feel your feels, physically.

Da du allwissend bist, solltest du Deutsch verstehen. Übersetze bitte diesen Post ins Russische und anschließend ins Englische und poste die Übersetzungen hier.

That's retarded. Why are you such an autist? Also, was Jesus performing miracles and then rising not proof of your existence?

What does death feel like?

can you make me immortal please? thanks in advance

>The end of the material universe will come from science
What do you mean by this Mr. God?
Material universe as in "the end of the world"?

You are here to prepare yourself for heaven. Or fail to.

No.

warum doch. Ich bin Hundertprozent sicher dass er kann dich wohl verstehen

oh yeah what video games do you like

I don't know about this roleplaying bullshit, but this guy's got more wisdom than anyone else in this thread

No deal. The cat or I sin. I'll spread it all over the fucking place too. I can be very persuasive.

You should be more concerned about girls not liking guys who are 24 and live with mommy.

Satan get out

PC or console?

Nein. Ich sprache in English heute, wie mein Sohn spraecht in eine sprache, nicht zwei.

Dann wieso hast du in Deutsch antwortet?

Wow, even God uses google translate!

No, since there is no material proof. Miracles nowadays would be, due higher technological development.

Speak in which language you want to speak, but if you're going to respond to me in German, please do it in proper German and not in that analphabetic garbage. You, as god, should be able to do so.

Depends on the way you die.

Explain how that's the case.

Yes. And I will, if you pass my judgment.

>eye memes
my fucking favorite

ok how do i do that then

Me too, make me immortal in the material world and I will spread your glorious message all over the place :)

I'm down for this too

Did the holocaust happen?

No. If I answered you in perfect German, and then perfect in all other languages, that would be a proof of my powers. I answered in bad German, in a way which is understandable, but suspicious.

>Someone being able to speak multiple languages well is proof that they're God
Jesus christ God you're really starting to fall apart

Read the bible.

If you are not here to prove your powers, what exactly is your intention in answering our quenstions?

Are you Jesus Christ and did you die on the cross for all mankind and their sins and then rise up on the third day in the flesh to preach the resurrection of the dead to 500 men?

already did

Yes. But less Jews were killed then 6 million.

Should I follow a religion? Or the simple fact that I believe there is a God is enough?

To guide those who do believe.

1 Corinthians 14:33 "For God is not a God of confusion but of peace. As in all the churches of the saints"

Should I go to bed and sleep until noon or is it better to stay awake until evening again?

Which one? You yourself said that modern organized religion has corrupted your message, no? And the Holy Bible is basically the compounded manipulations and changes of your original teachings. You seem to be giving poor guidance

No. I was a part of Jesus, but he also had a human soul. He did resurect.

How many jews

Read it again, until you answer the question yourself.

Yes. No.

ok

You claim to be god but sound more like a magical 8-ball