ITT: things you've experienced that only happen in the movies

ITT: things you've experienced that only happen in the movies.

>Be kid.
>Home alone.
>Phone rings.
>Heavy breathing.
>After a few seconds of silence the gravelly voice on the other end of the line asks for "Alice".
>Say I don't know anyone named Alice.
>"I want to speak to Alice now."
>Once again say I don't know anyone with that name.
>"What's your name."
>Get scared.
>"I don't know."
>Heavy breathing.
>"Tell Alice I said hello".
>Hangs up.
>Barricade myself in the bedroom for the rest of the night.
>Parents get caller ID the next day.

2spooky4me.

...

Dude same here! Wtf.

Except instead of being a little bitch I grabbed the pistol out of my desk and put it on top of the desk.

No god stories just bumping cause I like these threads

>>"What's your name."
>>Get scared.
>>"I don't know."
Kek.

>"What's your name."
>Get scared.
>"I don't know."

>mother has creepy raggedy ann type doll she got from her grandmother
>displayed in the living room
>its dead eyes haunt me as a child, i feel them following me as i walk across the house
>tell her it scares me and beg her to get rid of it
>she moves it to her and my father's bedroom so i won't have to see it as often
>dreaming a few nights later
>i step into the hallway facing their bedroom door and see it ajar
>the doll is sitting, staring at me
>it stands and begins to advance in claymation style movement, very jarring
>i turn to run but i can barely move
>it latches on to my right ankle and takes a huge bite with razor sharp teeth
>i screech and cry
>wake up in tears
>check my right ankle
>there are red markings on both sides that remained for a few hours

she still has the doll and it still creeps me out but i'm sure there's a logical explanation. i probably pinned my foot between the mattress and bedpost or something.

>wait somewhere
>it ain't me starts playing on the radio
>chuckle

>Be me.
>Home alone.
>Phone rings.
>Caller ID is the phone I just picked up
>hear the other side hang up
>I WAS HOME ALONE

so who was phone? this is srs

>be me, home alone on a late hot summer night.
>I live in a first floor apartment, all my windows open
>sat in my underwear because its so hot, shitposting on Sup Forums
>hear shouting outside my front door, ignore it .. continue to shitpost.
>hear somebody climb though my kitchen window, its 20 feet up.
>what the fuck
>two stressed out dudes enter my room with knives.
>"is that the guy?" one of them asks, the other one says "no"
>im shitting bricks
>"WHERE THE FUCK IS DAVE?" the first psycho asks
>they run around my apartment searching everywhere
>they say "sorry dude" and leave.

to this day I dont know what the fuck that was

What the fuck?

>first floor apartment
>window is 20 feet up

Why lie to us?

Isn't it kinda' obvious, man?

>answer phone
>no greeting
>hang up phone
>don't say goodbye

>Walking along a lonely road near midnight
>No one in sight
>Come across a bum walking around with raggedy clothes and pulling a rusty cart
>Feel bad and give him the spare change I have in my pocket
>He places the coins in his mouth and says "thanks, boss. You got my vote"
>Goes the opposite way
>When I look back just a few seconds later he's nowhere to be seen

i'm pretty sure that people outside of movies accidentally call wrong numbers ALL THE FUCKING TIME

In some apartments the bottom floor is considered the lobby.

So I was jerking off once, I was home alone, it's what you do.
I was pretty close to popping off
Didn't want to stop
But had to pick up in case it was "important"
Slowed my rhythm a little
Answer the call
It's my mother's friend - wouldn't say she was hot, but had good tits
All of a sudden nut
But it's far more intense than I was expecting
Groan loudly
Silence on the other end
She knew

Every time I saw her after that, I'd go bright red and she'd be weirdly flirtatious.

>Mall parking lot.
>Get into my car.
>Decide to check my texts before starting it up.
>Look ahead.
>There's a couple in the backseat of the car in front of mine fucking.
>Guy is with his back turned to me, girl is riding him.
>Go start the car to drive off.
>The girl sees me and keeps fucking the guy while holding eye contact with me all the way through.
>It's kinda' hot.
>Smiles at me and then bites the guy in the neck hard enough to drawn blood.
>Shit gets too intense for me so I drive away.

I had the weirdest boner for the rest of the day.

Cuckold

it was probably psychosomatic self-suggestion
people under hypnosis can be told they're about to be touched with a red-hot piece of metal and then touched with some metal that's just room temperature and they'll start getting a welt right where it touched them, although they won't get a burn
probably something similar happened to you, you thought you were being bitten and you could feel something on your ankle so your body reacted accordingly

One time when I was a manager at McDonald's, I got a phone call which I answered.
They said they I got their food wrong.
I asked what they wanted me to do about it to fix the situation.
They said there was a beak in the food and I said okay.
They got mad and threatened to shoot up my store.
I said okay and asked if there was anything else I can help them out with.
They started screaming and I hung up the phone.

Shoulda gotten out and gone and slapped your dick on their windshield

He said he was just a kid

>she still has the doll and it still creeps me out but i'm sure there's a logical explanation. i probably pinned my foot between the mattress and bedpost or something.
lol mate, sorry to tell you this, but you were probably bitten by a rat. Call pest control srsly.

This happened to a buddy of mine.

>Walking home from a party with his girlfriend.
>Both pretty drunk.
>Late at night.
>They're playing around and he accidentally shoves her to the ground.
>She calls him an asshole and complains about a scrapped knee or something.
>Suddenly a guy he said looked straight out of a cheesy 90's action movie (shredded as fuck, leather jacket, sunglasses at night, etc) shows up and starts giving him shit about roughing up a lady.
>My buddy almost gets beaten up until the girlfriend intercedes and tells him she's fine and it was all a misunderstanding.
>The dude lets my buddy go, tells the girlfriend to stay safe, but before leaving tells my buddy he'd be keeping an eye out for him.

So was I.

some places go like this:
3rd floor
2nd floor
1st floor
basement

but some places go like this:
3rd floor
2nd floor
1st floor
lobby/ground floor
basement

some people will also call it one way or the other regardless of what's on the elevator buttons or anywhere else

this happens a lot with a relative of mine because we never call each other to have a conversation, just to relay information; sometimes one of us will say "bye" but that's it

>Directed by Brian DePalma.

>be on lonely lonesome highway just outside of Amish country in Ohio
>Car runs out of gas
>Rusty old beat up station wagon pulls up
>Offers to take me to get gas, gotta stop at his house for a gas can
>Pull down a dirt road to a farm I never knew existed despite being down this highway a million times before
>I'm gonna be murdered.jpg
>He goes inside to get a gas can
>Sure is taking a while
>He comes out with a gas can and bag
>Sorry it took so long, my husband was making lunch, I brought you a sandwich
>Husband
>Great I'm gonna be raped AND murdered
>He pays to fill the gas can and gives me an extra 20 to put in the tank when I get back on the road

I love you but you're why McDonald's deserves to die

>costanza.jpg

>witnesses a vampire attack
>doesn't do anything to stop it

You're just as bad as they are, user.

talk to some guy online for a while
meet in a parking lot at 3 am
suck his dick
walk home
stop off to get a can of coke to wash the taste of cum out of my mouth

What did she mean by this?

Once when I was really sick, someone said to me "You look like you've seen a ghost." That's the only time I've ever heard that outside of shitty dialogue.

Vampires be crazy.

user probably became a familiar and doesn't even realize it.

run for political office user

>At the bus stop with friends
>I'm pretty drunk
>The bus almost crashes into a speeding car
>Tall buff bald guy with tattoos everywhere jumps out of the car and begins yelling at the bus driver while waving his wallet around
>That's the funniest shit to me for some reason and I start laughing
>Friends sweating bullets and telling me to shut up, but I don't know why
>Bald guy turns to waving his wallet at us and asking for the wiseass who's laughing
>I shut up because he was a big guy and could fuck me up
>He gets back into the car and leaves
>The following day, all sobered up, I mention the incident to my friends
>They tell me that what my drunken mind perceived as a wallet was actually a gun and the dude was threatening to go ballistic on everyone if he heard another laugh

As it was, it felt like something out of a stoner comedy. But it could easily have become a very bleak crime movie.

Did you eat the sand which?

Dude, what the fuck are you doing?

>Saw a truck back into some woman when I was a kid.
>Pinned her between the truck and the wall before pulling forward and she collapsed to the ground.
>Paramedics arrived fairly quickly and started CPR.
>Only thing I remember about her was that they cut open her shirt - I'm assuming to use the defibrillator - so her big sagging tits flopped each side of her.

First tits I ever saw.

She died right there, btw

the idea of you getting murdered because you laughed while drunk seems like such an anti-climactic way to go

Yes, it was peanut butter and jelly. Light on the jelly. 4/10

>he was a big guy
goddammit, Sup Forums, we can't have one fucking thread without this shit?

damn she got de_stroyed

not really related but reminded me of something that happened to me two weeks ago
>get on a bus to go to another city
>my city wasn't the starting point of the trip, so there were some teens in the back of the bus
>very obviously shit tier people: loud, obnoxious, playing music(not loud enough for someone to complain, but loud enough for half the bus to hear it) and I could smell weed on them although I was sitting ~5 rows in front of them
>a fucking leather gangster/mafioso gets on the bus, like a goddamn gangster crocodile dundee
>old-ish, leather coat, leather hat/fedora or some shit, leather fingerless and knuckleless gloves, leather cowboy boots (minus the spurs)
>obviously very odd looking guy
>the obnoxious kids start audibly laughing and making jokes
>the dude turns to them and says "don't walk alone" and gets on with his business of conjuring alcohol out of thin fucking air (had no bag or anything and pulled out a 1l plastic beer bottle, finished it in several tries, also on a halfway stop bought 1l plastic bottle of sider, yet I didn't see him carrying it although I was sitting like ~2m from him)
>before the final stop he stands up, on a turn falls down and eats shit, almost fell on my boots with his face (I guess it wasn't the only 2 litres of alcohol he's had today)
>gets out on his stop, didn't had enough courage to snap a pic of him over the window, because he seemed like once in a lifetime type of event

Yeah, wasn't gory but yeah, to get pinned up against a wall with a truck backing into you would do the trick.

I read this in the voice of James Keziah Delaney

I didn't think of it until you pointed it out, user
that's usually how it happens now, a literally innocuous statement is made and then someone says "for you" and then the whole fucking scene gets played out

Thread theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAVUPu7URbc

I don't know why, I'm just listening to it while I read these posts.

now I wanna go rewatch House

A gypsy put a curse on me in a Wal-Mart bathroom, now I'm forever stuck working at that Wal-Mart until I figure out how to break the curse. Shortly after she put the curse on me I got fired from my job, and no one would even call me for an interview except Wal-Mart.

I feel like if I quit and ran away to China I would wake up the next day in my bedroom, to Wal-Mart calling asking why I'm late.

THINNER

I did that whole sneaking out my window in the middle of a night to meet up with a girl, smoke cigarettes and talk about life under the stars thing. Wouldn't recommend

why not?

When she put the curse on me I actually told my friend it was the gypsy from thinner.

did you mommy give you a spanking tell us about it

At the park with friends - must have been my early teens
It's a nice summer day
Need to take a piss
Instead of going against a tree like a normal person I decide to use the public bathroom
Walk in busting unaware of my surroundings
Let loose a stream of piss
Turn to my right and there's two fags, one blowing the other
How I missed them I don't know they were no more than 5ft away from me
They both stunk too

got me smoking, only just kicked the habit six years later

she started dating my best friend and i ended up losing both of them which, at the time, was really shitty

It's hot as fuck when she pulls her skirt up.

>at the parking lot of the local train station
>walking on the sidewalk, minding my own business
>suddenly, one of the parallel parking cars a few meters in front of me starts accelerating backwards
>rams the car behind it, breaking off it's back lights
>but does not slow down, rather accelerates even more
>right towards me
>my brain is looking for an explanation for all this and somehow decides this must be a mafia murder attempt on my life
>my legs start running all by themselves
>the car slams against the tree where I was standing a second ago
>the driver's door opens
>an old lady climbs out
>she confused the gas pedal with the breaks (but claimed it was a technical issue)

I needed a drink afterwards.

>go to bar
>talk to girl
>jumpcut to us being in bed together

true story

I was lucky, smoked at least a pack a day all through my teens and was able to just stop just like that. Glad.

Not trying to rub it in....

>fucking my girl
>can hear street cleaning truck come around the corner
>just remember it was street cleaning day
>quickly get dressed with a huge erection
>moved car before meter maid was able to write a ticket
>look on his face was priceless as me and a half naked girl runs out of the house
>ended up not getting a ticket
>no longer hard
>cunt was also no longer in the mood
>we went to In-n-Out for lunch instead

just found out recently a guy I know puts Vaseline in his hair

lucky, i'm at the stage now where i don't go out and buy them but if anybody offers me i don't say no

truly the most terrifying thing in this thread

autism

>had a gf with rich parents once
>visiting her a weekend when she was home alone
>they lived in a big ass mansion located at the outskirts of a giant forest
>watching some shitty drama movie in the evening
>we both fall asleep
>I wake up a couple of hours later and go outside in the garden for a smoke
>their garden is right next to the huge forest
>it's full moon and everything is kind of lit up
>can see a few meters into the forest
>just as I am about to light up a cigarette I hear the loudest and most terrifying screech imaginable
>sounds like a mix of a cat and a little girl getting tortured
>I nearly had a heart attack and dropped my lighter and cigarette
>I make a sweeping glance at the tree lines
>a really pale ugly woman in a dirty white dress is literally standing besides a tree and staring at me
>my blood turns to ice
>she lets outs another of the horrifying screeches and sprints into the forest
>I hurry inside and lock the door
>go to bed again and keep a watch all night
>a few weeks go by
>I mention what I saw to my gf
>she said it was probably some crazy alcoholic woman

I swear it was straight out some horror movie and I get sweaty hands just by typing this. I will never ever go into a forest at night that's for sure.

I'll admit, if I'm drunk I'll have one if I'm offered, so I can't say I've "fully" kicked the habit. But while sober, it's a cake walk.

>Sup Forums has better nope threads than /x/ these days

>little kid
>parents having frequent fights
>we're about to lose the house, mortgage wasn't being paid
>they were about to kick us out
>leader guy who was support to escort us out
>gets a call from my mom's sister
>'o-ok, ma'am, yes ma'am thank you'
>the evictors and police disappear
>asked my aunt what she said
>''I wont tell you''

Up to today she hasn't told me yet.

makes me want to listen to the cocteau twins

>be about 4 or 5 years old
>live in shitty apartment building on 5th floor
>kitchen window faces side of building and also other apartment windows
>be nighttime, look out window
>look down to lower floors and a man is hanging halfway out window around two floors below me, smoking a cigarette
>look at him for a moment and he suddenly looks up and makes eye contact with me
>get scared and pull back
>hide on the couch away from window for a few minutes
>get courage to slowly go back to window and look down
>THE FUCKING GUY HASN'T MOVED AND IS STILL STARING RIGHT ME

>run to room and never look out that window at night again

/x/ hasn't been good in years sadly.

>in a huge house on a family holiday
>about 3 am
>everybody asleep except me and my cousin
>comes back from the bathroom all shaken saying he heard a screaming
>feel hes just taking the piss out of me but say it was just a fox
>we start telling ghost stories now since it put us in the mood for it
>fast forward to us going to our room
>i get into my bed
>you had to slowly close the door or else it would slam, my cousin is doing that
>at the last second of closing he lurches back
>SOMETHING JUST TRIED TO OPEN THE DOOR
>KNOW he's taking the piss out of me at this point
>the door starts to slowly fucking open
>blood turns to fucking ice


>it was my mom telling us to shut the fuck up and go to sleep

i honestly felt pure fucking terror in that moment due to our stupid imagination

One time I woke up in the middle of the night and I was absolutely 100% certain I was being abducted by aliens. I was even thinking to myself "oh for fucks sake no one will believe me". It's fucking stupid but somehow thinking about ayy lmao memes calmed me down. I ripped some shit off me and sat upright and seemingly transitioned into my bed. Sitting there, window open and I was still completely sure I was abducted by fucking aliens.

Not very long after I find out while catting with friends some guy some of them know is driving his family nuts because he keeps going on and on about how aliens implanted a chip on him and are tracking him. He even cut up his own arm real bad trying to get it out. Everyone chalked it up to drugs. Me included but still a spooky coincidence.

Last I heard of the guy he was interned in a hospital, the poor guy.

blackouts are a serious issue user, and daterape can happen to guys as well as girls
don't suffer in silence, see a psychiatrist

Around 14-15 this happened. One morning early before 7am, I was in that space halfway between being asleep and awake, not fully cognisant but not entirely unconscious. And I'm absolutely sure someone was giving me a blowjob. This is not just a fantasy of seeing a woman there doing it, but I feel it and it feels like someone is giving me head. I don't know if I jizzed or what, I maybe fell asleep again, but someone gave me head in my sleep.

Who tho? Mom? Pls, no!

Where was this?

>be 14
>live in little quiet town
>at my friends house playing video games a saturday
>walk home in the middle of the night
>car slowly drives up behind me without lights on
>just as I turn around and look at it, it speeds off
>I ran all the way home

Scared the hell out of me

In Denmark like 7 years ago

Ah ok it wasn't me then.

Very spooky, just imagine if she had started running towards you.

I am Jenny Blair, that witch from those movies.

BooooOOOoooooooooooOOOOOooo

this is a pasta from some time ago fag

Any pictures of the forest?

>be 12 year old new
>Playing some resident evil
>Hear loud bang at the front door
>Look out the window, don't see anyone at the door
>Check bedroom window thinking is friends getting me to come outside
>Nope no one there
>No one anywhere, not even the neighbors are home
>Creepy as fuck
>Close and lock all the doors because I'm creeped out as fuck
>A little later Doggo has to go out to go potty
>Open front door there's a dead bird on the porch
>Realize the bang at the door was this bird flying into it like a dumb ass
>Put bird in a shoe box
>Later that night sneak out and put dead bird in the mean old bitch down the streets van, under the seat so it would take a while for her to find it

>be teen
>random caller asks for my dead dad
>calls me a sonnuvabitch
>hang up and never pick the phone to Unknown callers for 6 years

>get my apartment broken into
>it's not a nigger

Only in the movies folks!

I always wanted a story like this to tell, but the night in Mexico it's too dangerous.

>Be me on the last day of my final year in uni
>Get absolutely black out drunk in town
>Wake up still drunk as fuck on a sofa in the middle of a fancy flat (millionaire fancy)
>How the fuck did I get here?
>Five girls and a guy staring over me as I throw up chunks into a bucket they put on the floor beside me
>Argument between the guy and one of the girls breaks out into a full blown fight
>wtf.jpg
> Next thing I know I'm helping them drag him out of house while he's flailing about throwing punches and kicked everything in sight
>Manage to drag him out
>Need to chuck up again so try and find the bucket
>It's spilt on the floor onto an expensive-looking rug
>Their poodle is eating it up
>Pick up bucket, cover the spill and literally nope the fuck out of there

To this day I still have no idea who the hell those people were. It felt like more like a weird dream than real life.

I've thought about that shit ever since, what the hell did she mean
You can try googling "Silkeborg Skov"

youre so shit about telling made up stories about pedophillic old women you forgot the part where the phone rings you fucking dolt

did you talk to any of them?
were they like "hey epic night last night" or "who the fuck are you again?"?

I had consensual sex with a girl

>go to the shittest fast food place out there
>expect good service
End yourself

There's a "Dave's not here man" joke in here somewhere.

>NO I'M DAVE
>hold on I'll check