40 year old virgin

>40 year old virgin
>yeah, right

Why does hollywood keep pushing the bar? I know movies are make-believe, but does it have to be so far-fetched. My suspension of disbelief can only go so far

Have you ever touched a breast and it felt like a bag of sand..?

How does pussy taste?

Seriously..

Are we supposed to take this seriously?

like a bag of sand

28 years and counting

never masterbated either

haha yeah I can't even imagine a guy being over 20 and still a virgin haha

But the movie guy is twice that age

I'm 8 years away.

I know. That makes it even more ridiculous.

Who 30 year old virgin here and showing no signs of being stopped?

how do they come up with this stuff haha

29 and 358 days. Wizardry here I come

If you pretend to be that anime gril then I can help you change that ;)

No one said it's a common phenomenon you fuckwit.

There's a reason the other guys in the movie are flabbergasted when they find out.

Rip

He was also doing nofap too. And tbqfh, I can't do nofap for more than 2 days.

this one at least seems probable

Warm and slightly sour

How have you made it that far? I'll be 27 soon and I'm just about to off myself

Tell us about your lack of masturbation.

>those baggy pants

someone fire that wardrobe director

Why would you do that? Don't off yourself for the vaginal jew

He gets raped in the movie and has to apologize to his girlfriend for it.

>never masterbated either
I don't believe you. Literally how? Not even once just out of curiousity?

I'm only a level 18 mage, but I'm like 90% I'll make it.

Why? At 27 I just didn't give a damn any longer. Now at 32 outside of Sup Forums threads I rarely think about it.

good pussy tastes like heaven
bad pussy tastes like garbage

This thread reminds me of why never to take opinions on Sup Forums seriously.

Salty milk and coins

what spells have you learned so far

have you actually seen the plot to this? it makes no fucking sense. who in their right mind wouldn't have sex with a virgin?

"Kate is about to graduate. Her biggest dream is to have sex with Ryan Lambert. The only problem is that Ryan refuses to have sex with a virgin. This leads to a hunt for another man to lose her virginity to so she finally can have her dream prince."

ryan is a fucking cuckold ahaahah

...

WIZARD!

Virginity is a mental illness and it is contagious. If you are a virgin you are life's ultimate loser and undesirable.

>tfw had chances to lose my virginity once at 18, once at 19, twice at 20, and 3 times at 21
>tfw the 3 times at 21 and 2 times at 20 were me not being able to get hard enough
>tfw was a 26 year old virgin
>finally said fuck it to the condom and just went in raw and lost my virginity last week
literally best feeling in the world, feel like a faggot for getting so old before it happened but just glad it happened.

mostly your own saliva

Don't brush your teeth for two days
Lick your arm before you go to sleep
Smell it when you wake up

That's what pussy smells like

How do you not lose your virginity by 16? I guess you can be religious...

>Virginity is contagious.

Fuck up.

t. teenager

try paying rent and mortgage with your chad sex points

I pay my mortgage with my money. Then I have sex.

>he's not a MGTOW
Lmaoing at your life rn

>26yo
>kissless
>hugless
>virgin
>never had any female friends
>live in parents basement
>never had a job
>suicidal and depressed everyday

Sounds pretty comfy desu. Your parents don't mind? You get an allowance or something?

I felt the same when I found out there are good looking virgin males/females over 20.

It's mind-warping when even ugly fucks get laid at one point or another, me included.

hi me

Its not comfy at all
>parents constantly nagging
>job center constantly telling me to apply for a job
>always tired
>just wanna die

For whatever reason, the idea of having sex before marriage was off-putting to me so when I had the opportunity once in highschool I declined to take advantage of it.

Now I'm 21 and women expect so much these days that its not worth jumping through all the hoops to find a decent gf who will probably lose attraction to you later on in life.

ayyyy


at least you're not alone

Anyone who's over 20 and a virgin should just kill himself, honestly. You are a failure of nature and nothing more than a useless parasite on society. You will die alone and miserable so just end your suffering before you become insane and start shooting people up. People that actually aren't such failures as you.

Not him but I used to have a brutal phimosis and first masturbated when I was 21.

>be 19
>15 minutes to being 20
>give a whore $50
>no longer a virgin
>'whew, almost became a schoolshooter'

(You)

Well that's a bit rough but what I don't get is why virgins don't just go iut and fuck some prostitute and see that there's not so much to it. I can for sure see why people get in this downward spiral of depression if they think getting pussy is some kind of insurmountable feat.

Happy (week before your) Birthday bro!

Not him, but in the US prostitutes are illegal and usually not worth the risk of both jail time and herpes

I just noticed that it says "senors" on the sign.

It is not the best feeling but yo get over it, Wizard here.

Getting a prostitute is ezpz if you're not a total retard.

that's cause they're señors, not seniors. Look at them. Half of them are like 40

you taylored a intricate bait, may i take it

sour and soap

If dubs I'll lose my virginity this year

Joke's on you, I am a retard

Wet dream boy

Y-yeah.. I-I know, right...

You are me.

Because that would feel worse in the long run, having to pay for something that biology is supposed to take care of for you.

That's pretty much where I'm at. I'm not a virgin, but it's been so long that I might as well be. Somewhere along the line, I genuinely stopped giving a shit.

26, but definitely not looking to have sex ever

How? Genuinely curious.

You are missing the point user. The point is not in shoving your dick in some woman's pussy, but to make that woman want you to do that without paying to her afterwards.

>make that woman want you to do that without paying to her afterwards.

pay her upfront

The point of paying a hooker is to get the inexperience jitters out of the way, and take the pressure off. That way, you're not as anxious when you're trying to get laid for real.

26yo also female, not even joking.
Honestly I don't really mind, like at all.

It's not like this is the main reason we don't get laid. I doubt that after having sex with a hooker i'd become a pussy magnet, or at least less socially retarded.

I'm just speaking from my own experience. I found myself avoiding sexual opportunities, because I didn't want it to be super obvious that I had no idea what I was doing. That feeling gets even worse the older you get.

Tick tock

I masturbate in the regular. Not a virgin or pure.

Paying rent on an apartment isn't paying a mortgage.

>lost my virginity at 21
>im 25 now and last night my girlfiend jerked me off while i told her how much i wanted to have a threesome

38 year old wizard here. Been in relationships with two women. Didn't want sex, so I left. I like being forever alone.

a she devil robbed me of my wizardry a couple weeks ago

i only had 3 years left

Its not easy to suicide bro

Its really a fucking hassle.

I live in my parents basement, it would be embarrassing to bring a whore there.

Also it doesn't seem worth it, I can just continue fucking my onahole, same result.

also what the fuck would it change for me if I'd pay a 10/10 hooker to fuck with me?
after that I'm supposed to get 4/10s as gf or what?
Seems like a waste of time trying to get some uggo to fuck

female version

Nothing will prepare you for it at first, it's pretty rough. Think sour, and salty coins but after a while you get used to it and the taste mostly becomes your own saliva.

>t. 22 yo Sluthate incel

>tfw turning 20 in a month
>still a virgin
>some chick i think wants to fuck me
>keep telling her im a virgin
>she says awwwww and why
>i just say because
>chick randomly sucks my dick at a party once
w-will i make it bros

>the only point of life is to have sex

yes you will son

You'll be a man soon boi

>be in apprenticeship at 23yo
>class is full of 17/18yo girls
>behind me sits a girl, long black hair with big bunda
>she constantly asks me something, stuff about the classes or the time or innocent stuff like that
>give one word replies and mind my own business
>girl constantly tries to get a conversation going and tells me her lifestory without me asking, don't even listen and just say "yea" and repeat the last three words but with question mark to not be rude
>just keep giving one word replies and give vague answers when asked something
>sometimes she touches my hair and giggles and I don't know what to do and just move a bit forward with my chair
>once she put her hands on my shoulders and said "oh so strong" or some shit
>another time in PE class she "accidentally" touches my chest (tried to evade and just said "oi" and she backed the fuck off)
>asks for my phone so she can make a selfie with it (refuse of course)
>called me handsome several times and I just laughed it off and pretended I didn't hear it
>constantly asked me for my facecuck and why I don't have one "user I was searching you but couldn't find your profile :( "
>at some point she stopped trying
>mfw stil la virgin at 26

How'd you land yourself in that situation, especially as a woman?

>Steve Carrell's character has to abandon his objectively fun hobbies, sell his prized posessions and raise the son of an another man
What did he mean by this?

It is you mong. How else does a species continue to exist?

Tbh fucking is pretty nice friends. I was never a chad, only had sex with one girl mostly

Then i did it like a semi hooker, it was an online ad
And damn it was nice senpai. They really give you love and seriously you can make her cum and shit. Wtf..

I advise you guys to try it, but only if you'll let yourself be you when you're fucking

I understand being kissless but hugless?

just get a prostitute lads jesus

Who WOULD want to? Sex with a virgin is awkward, unconfortable and not fun. They don't know what they're doing and it's a mega turnoff.

Have you tried just getting a job?