Should I lie about my heritage?

Every week my school sends me an email filled with intern and scholarship opportunities...

..for "under represented" groups. Which is anyone who isnt white or Asian.

I mean, I'm a disabled vet, doesn't that check a box? Should I claim I'm Inuit? What do you guys think?

Could you claim being a Jew?

Yeah do it. But do your homework and make sure you can back your claim up. Might help to say you're struggling with your gender identity as well as thinking of converting to islam. That should make sure they keep questions to a minimum.

I'm actually 1/8th maori, which is the indigenous group in these parts, and as such I've got a few subsidies available to me. I couldn't do it though, I'm white as you can get, and don't want to be associated with them in any way. Unless, as a first grandson I can get some land out of it, which is a possibility. Its just the tribe has been having meetings over this for the last 10 years. Going by Maori track record, they'll still be trying to decide what to do in another 10.

Claim you're gay or lie about being native. It worked for Warren.

claim you are a transnigger

sage

Eh, Jews are hardly under represented in nyc..

My (((last name))) is Jewish though.

But still. It's really annoying when I'm having trouble getting a job or work study opportunity and I get spammed with email trying to help anybody but people with my skin color and gender.

Maybe trans?

I'd have to be sneaky anyway, since I look... normal... no crazy hair or attention seeking clothes or anything..

> no crazy hair

That's no problem. You could apply and then attend any meetings with a ' special look '. Like smudge some blush on your cheeks, a frilly floral shirt and some bracelets or bangles'. All shit that could be put away as soon as you leave the room.

All trannies look hideous with their make up and jewellery. So those that interview you, seeing you look a trainwreck will make em feel an affinity for you.

Remember its only a ruse to get free money. As soon as you are approve ditch the act, say you are confused. Or better still a woman in a mans body, who cross dresses as a man. They'll buy it, they've dealt with all sorts of crap and are terrified of offending anyone.

It all just seems so dirty.

I feel filthy that this is what I would have to do to get a little help...

>1/8th scribble face
>white as you can get

Oven

The whole world's dirty. Fuck the idiot system.

They deserve it for being sacks of shit. The ends justify the means bro

It hasn't hurt Elizabeth Warren. I imagine more people check on ridiculous claims now though.

>vet
>at school
What the fuck? Not many 1st world school children have been in wars and then returned to school.

> Be 18
>No idea what the fuck to do with my life
>Join the air Force instead of going into debt for college when I have no idea what I want to do.
>Play where's Waldo for 6 years and never deploy (never find him)
>Be a god damned war hero
>Use GI Bill for school, located at the highest living allowance in the country.
>Still no idea what I want to do with my life
>Surrounded by "enlightened" 19 year old wanted free college, even though they don't know what they want to do with their life.

The American dream.

I don't understand. You use the terms school and college/university interchangeably?

Yes. I'm in college right now.

College is school.

Trade school is school

High school is school.

Any establishment where you sit on ass all day and learn shit instead of being useful is "school"

And only pretentious pricks use "university" around here

if gender can be fluid so can ethnicity

The fuck is a "college"?

>intern and scholarship opportunities...
>..for "under represented" groups. Which is anyone who isnt white or Asian.

is that legal? damn america is cucked lmao

It's a place where you spend 40 grand on a piece of paper called a "degree" that says you showed up to class for 4 years.

Legend has it that this piece of paper will get you a job, but it's just an old myth handed down by the elders.

College is where you go after high school.

That's pretty dumb. School is school where children learn, college/uni or whatever is for adults.

I always claim to be Jewish in situations like this.

You have what the intergalactic community calls a very "planetary mindset"

Dont. I invented a whole life to get free uni and stuff. Commies suspend classes all the time to get free shit, like hell I'm gonna pay

you're better than that. if you need a handout to succeed, you should be using twigs to gather incets from an ant hill

Based lonestar.

I should have never left Dallas..

>disabled vet
Search usajobs.gov. You'll get preferential selection.

I think you mean adult children.

I think I'm gonna do that.

Work at the fucking post office or some shit.

Really wish I could get back into machining...

But that dream is dead

>fought for the jew.
Fuck off.

Doesn't matter; got sheckles

Should i lie about my religion ? I want to blend in but i don't want to leave my religion. Because no matter how american i act, if they know that i'm a muslim, they'd treat me like a muslim, not an american.

Actually Asians do qualify as minorities, it's only education preferences where they're disadvantaged. HR literally are looking for "not white men."

When you actually go for job interviews, look around and notice the Asians.

Don't lie. Pray about it and make sure, if you are comfortable, to inform them of the fact that you are a disabled vet. If this doesn't help, call your congressman and the tv/radio station- too many vets end up drugged up, bent, homeless, and out on the streets. Don't be a casualty, brah.

Thats why public schools should enforce uniforms.

Use your jewish name and put on some lipstick for the interview. A vague sense of unease gets you further than blatantly saying I AM TRANS while you're not trans.

Uh....... That aint texas

Why the fuck are they all wearing deck shoes?!?!?

This
Uniforms keep niggers from attending school and keep girls dressing modestly.

Boat shoes are the best man, I wear them almost always when it's 15+ degrees

They don't even know why they're wearing them, its just what all the other "bros" are doing.

>I'm a disabled vet
You chose to fight for a corporatist agenda under the obvious possibility that you could become disabled or even killed.
Why does your school owe you for that?

Unless your smart and you skip the 40k
and go work in a STEM field as an apprentice.
Engineering apprentice here.
If I'm a good boy, they'll send me to this
"Uni" you speak of and I will get this mythical
piece of paper.

I check other and claim being Jewish. Nobody can call you put on it because of lol MUH holocaust

I always wondered if your county still had people in it.

Yeah, that's confusing for a lot of Europeans because we have a "Higher Education" and "Highest Education" division here.

College for us refers to the more practically oriented professional training, while University refers to the almost purely theoretical training aimed at Science.

For example, I went to college and now have an ing. title but for a doctorate I'd have to go to university.