ITT: Your Oscar speech

ITT: Your Oscar speech

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=O0Q_nyjuEak
youtube.com/watch?v=DitE_e3VDMk
youtube.com/watch?v=LPjzfGChGlE
youtube.com/watch?v=bOgkGzMdieI
youtube.com/watch?v=q6c_dinY3fM
youtube.com/watch?v=xnqIj8C2Aek
youtube.com/watch?v=VggFao85vTs
youtube.com/watch?v=b5tci36bNjg
youtube.com/watch?v=_gOn9MuFimo
youtu.be/kPdxhLUKZYM?list=PLo0ThsDnveH5nv5TNviBrGTX9P6IrYfIe&t=412
youtube.com/watch?v=tPc899uUb-A
youtube.com/watch?v=jgGP_evkvOk
youtube.com/watch?v=TxpIsep4160
twitter.com/AnonBabble

GAS THE KIKES RACE WAR NOW

This is how you accept an Oscar.

youtube.com/watch?v=O0Q_nyjuEak

DUDE FUCK DRUMPF LMAO

I'd just stare daggers at the camera so that everyone who wronged me can feel my hate

Trump is a Russian puppet. He is destroying America from the inside.

THIS SPEECH THANKS ME, MY FAMILY, DOCTOR PAVEL HERE

>I'd like to thank all the Jews that made this possible...

dear jews,

please stop causing all the wars

t. the rest of the world

I WOULDN'T BE HERE WITHOUT YOU, MEL

GAS THE KIKES, RACE WAR NOW

>go up
>grab Oscar
>immediately go back to my seat

>Thanks, I will melt this and make something useful out of it

BRRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPP

And now, we move on to liars

"I dedicate this to actor Bill Pullman who recently died. Game over, dude"

step it up lad
youtube.com/watch?v=DitE_e3VDMk

This

>go up
>grab Oscar
>start shaking
>spill spaghetti
>drop Oscar on the floor
>freak out and run away to the backstage

Knew what it was before I opened the link. Wish all Oscars winners would do this instead of giving a long pompous speech.

>Academy, I'm Dir. Pavel
>*to audience*
>uh you don't get to take pictures
*picks up award*
>Award? Get it in my trailer I'll call my wife
*to audience*
>THE UBER FARE I JUST FILED WITH RAMESH LISTS ME, MY ENTOURAGE, THIS WAITRESS HERE, BUT ONLY ONE, OF YOU
>FIRST ONE TO BOO GETS TO COME IN MY UBER XL
>*points at front row*
>DID YOU VOTE AND WAS IT FOR ME?
>HE DIDN'T LIE SO GOOD
>*to host*
>TELL ME ABOUT THE LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD, LOT OF ROLES FOR A BIT OF METAL
>*to front row again*
>AT LEAST YOU CAN VOTE, WHO ARE YOU
>IF I TAKE YOUR DRINK CAN YOU DRIVE?
>*turns to award*
>YOU'RE A BIG AWARD
>WAS GETTING ACCEPTED PART OF YOUR PLAN?
>WELL CONGRATULATIONS, YOURE GOING ON MY MANTLE,
>*turns to host*
>SO WHAT'S THE NEXT STEP OF YOUR RUNNING ORDER?
>*leave stage*

Griffith did nothing wrong bitches

>clears throat
>sniffs
>BIG

If I learned something in this industry is that you don't get to bring friends. And why would I want to take them? They would try to grab my prize (smile). We are nothing. We are dust beneath our feet. Who we are does not matter. What matters is our plan. But, now....now is not the time for fear. That comes later.

Its an honor to be here on the only night in the year that the jews give out their jew gold. Unfortunately that is not what I came here for.
>takes out detonation device and presses button
>zyklon begins to fill the venue
thank you
fuck yall
>pulls out second detonator and presses button
>california explodes

"SO TRUMP....

>I'd like to thank my waifu
>I started acting just for her and she doesn't know it

then I reveal who it is and people are creeped out by me

ID LIKE TO THANK THE PATRIARCHY FOR FINDING ME ATTRACTIVE ENOUGH TO PLAY THIS ROLE AND THE JEWS FOR INVENTING THE MEDIA

fuck zrumpf and fuck white people

so oscars huh
we put actual value and investment in acting and directing for these awards
wow
"inhales blunt"
wow
its such a strange strange concept
....
did you guys see that guy hit a moose with his car?
holy shit, jamie pull that video up

>zyklon begins
>zyklon b

Subtle kek

>Alright? Yeah. Cheers n that.
It's not actually me on stage. Little monkey fella

Reminder that sticky bandit had the best all time speech.

youtube.com/watch?v=O0Q_nyjuEak

So uh Donald Trump

I'd just ask why there aren't more conservatives being represented.

>go up
>grab Oscar
>get real close to the mic
>thank you
>leave the auditorium
>go home and watch the rest of the Oscars at my house

"HEWILLNOTDIVIDEUSHEWILLNOTDIVIDEUSHEWILLNOTDIVIDEUSHEWILLNOTDIVIDEUSHEWILLNOTDIVIDEUSHEWILLNOTDIVIDEUSHEWILLNOTDIVIDEUSHEWILLNOTDIVIDEUSHEWILLNOTDIVIDEUSHEWILLNOTDIVIDEUSHEWILLNOTDIVIDEUSHEWILLNOTDIVIDEUSHEWILLNOTDIVIDEUSHEWILLNOTDIVIDEUSHEWILLNOTDIVIDEUSHEWILLNOTDIVIDEUSHEWILLNOTDIVIDEUSHEWILLNOTDIVIDEUSHEWILLNOTDIVIDEUSHEWILLNOTDIVIDEUSHEWILLNOTDIVIDEUS"

YOU KNEW I WAS THE BEST
I AIN'T GOTTA THANK SHIT
THIS WASN'T EVEN CLOSE
THE REST OF YOU, ARE YOU EVEN TRYING? GET ON MY LEVEL YOU FUCKING RETARDS

We would be painfully autistic

i dont even care about this thing.
all you chumps sitting there looking so desperate. wishing you could be up here
it means nothing to me.
NOTHING
the only thing that matters to me is the craft
its like my acting teacher and mentor said.

99 percent of acting, is repetition. and no matter what i'm gonna act . acting is in my blood, i live and breath every character, i completely throw my self into.
so this little statue?
give me one for every role i have ever played, or take it back, because at the end of the day ...i am act.

>As a white heterosexual man who eats meat, I can't in good conscience accept this award. Hey [insert black director], catch! *throws Oscar in the audience*

>Pull out speech
>Grab glasses and put them on
>Open up speech
>Cough
>"Thanks"
>Walk out

I just want to thank all of my Jew friends who made this possible and other one person, Dan "She used to be tighter" Schneider.
thank you.

>my Jew friends
>AND Dan Schneider
Uuh sweety

Imagine being Arnold in that scene and having to be all like "damn, Jamie Curtis, you fuckin' fine, all sexy with your tight body and horrific androgynous monster face. I would totally have sex with you, both my character and the real me." when all he really wants to do is fuck another 16 year old in his dressing room. Like seriously imagine having to be Arnold and not only sit in that chair while Jamie Lee Curtis flaunts her disgusting body in front of you, the favorable lighting barely concealing her stretchmarks and leathery skin, and just sit there, take after take, hour after hour, while she perfected that dance. Not only having to tolerate her monstrous fucking visage but her haughty attitude as everyone on set tells her she's STILL GOT IT and DAMN, JAMIE LEE CURTIS LOOKS LIKE *THAT*?? because they're not the ones who have to sit there and watch her mannish fucking gremlin face contort into types of grimaces you didn't even know existed before that day. You've been fucking nothing but a healthy diet of blondes and supermodels and later alleged rape victims for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the boonies in Austria. You've never even seen anything this fucking disgusting before, and now you swear you can taste the sweat that's breaking out on her dimpled stomach as she sucks it in to writhe it suggestively at you, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to get paid to sit there and revel in her "statuesque (for that is what she calls herself)" beauty, the beauty she worked so hard for with personal trainers in the previous months. And then the director calls for another take, and you know you could kill every single person in this room before the studio security could put you down, but you sit there and endure, because you're fucking Arnold. You're not going to lose your future political career over this. Just bear it. Hide your face and bear it.

FUCKING PEDO'S
Jews have been promoting degeneracy to keep the "goyim" occupied while they run the worlds financial system, and they make sure everybody is chasing shiny coins for their whole life existence.
The Internet and social media are creating a world of thoughtless, self-absorbed retards, who cannot think for themselves. Although the internet is full of very useful information and a few great online communities, the world would be better of without it. The internet is mostly used as a tool to promote pornographic degeneracy and degenerate meme's (black lives matter, negro culture, sjws, marxism, drugs, cuckolding, feminism) to keep the "goyim" occupied. These meme's are promoted to make them think a certain (wrong) way that will essentially brainwash them, and keep them from thinking for themselves, so therefore they will mindlessly serve their "masters" and destroy their own culture without even realizing it.
The movement of Frankism seems to be when modern Jew's really started to promote degeneracy, Sabbatai Zevi and Jacob Frank both promoted degenerate behavior and tried to normalize it. Jews are essentially promoting degenerate behavior so that their "God" will return and be fully restored. They think if they get the "goyim" to do horrible and depraved things that their "God" will return, so therefore they believe sins to be holy and will bring the restoration of "God" to the world sooner. This is why Jews are so heavily involved in Hollywood, pornography, drug-distribution, cultural marxism, feminism, music industry. They use things such as movies, music and pornography to encourage the "goyim" to do depraved and degenerate things.
You are being used as a tool to destroy your own race and culture, open up your eyes and look around at the crumbling world in-front of you, Open up your mind and finally learn to think for yourself, never be afraid to go deeper down the rabbit-hole.

>this piece of shit? As important as the MTV Blockbusters Award, it means nothing. Art is not some stupid shallow competition you vapid assholes, this whole circus is a complete travesty and I'm disgusted by all of you, but especially by idiots like Emma Stone. So fuck you, and I hope none of you make it past tonight. Bye

>YO FUCK THE ACADEMY THIS WAS ALL ME BABY! I WANNA THANK THE OTHER NOMINEES FOR SUCKING SO HARD THAT I WON THIS! ANYONE INTERESTED, I'LL HAVE THIS PUPPY ON EBAY IN 5 MINUTES! PEACE NIGGAS I'M OUT

>damn, all I wanted to get out of this was to impress bitches

ALL I DO IS WIN WIN WIN NO MATTER WHAT

The truth about immigration, by the numbers:

>youtube.com/watch?v=LPjzfGChGlE

Cultural Marxist Jews Admit Organizing White Genocide

The plan to eliminate the white race:

>youtube.com/watch?v=bOgkGzMdieI

Cultural Marxism in action… Political Correctness, the tip of the blade:

>youtube.com/watch?v=q6c_dinY3fM

Cultural Marxism & Social Justice Explained:

>youtube.com/watch?v=xnqIj8C2Aek

Why are we in Decline - Cultural Marxism:

>youtube.com/watch?v=VggFao85vTs

also see

The facts about slavery in North America:

>youtube.com/watch?v=b5tci36bNjg

Cultural Marxist Jews fund media propaganda against whites on an enormous scale:

>youtube.com/watch?v=_gOn9MuFimo

Does this sound familiar at all? (starting at 6:52)

>youtu.be/kPdxhLUKZYM?list=PLo0ThsDnveH5nv5TNviBrGTX9P6IrYfIe&t=412

The Holocaust:

>youtube.com/watch?v=tPc899uUb-A

>youtube.com/watch?v=jgGP_evkvOk

>youtube.com/watch?v=TxpIsep4160

I WANT TO SUCK ON ANNE HATHAWAY'S FEET. THANK YOU

ITS MY ONE HUNDRED N ELEVENTIETH BIRTHDAAAAY!
>put on magic ring
>grope anne hathaway on my way out

death to dictators, tyrants, liars, and those who would subvert the human spirit for their own personal profit

Came here to post this.

>Walk up to stage
>Grab Oscar
>Straighten up mic

So let me tell you about the jews and their lies

by the way (((they))) just made a movie about David Irving I wonder why it wasn't nominated for all the Oscars.

fucking HELL

Kek

Underrated

>Grabs mike

HOL UP...

This guy gets it. I'd just fucking stare for three minutes straight after the music starts playing.

Uh wow thank you

Um I'd just like to say *ahem* fuck Trump and...

Uh white people, fuck white people. Thank you.

I'M MORRAKIU AND THIS IS THE MERCHANT MINUTE

I just want to say that i hate myself,i want to die and i gonna kill myself tomorrow "coff" "coff",thanks.

>*Twist jew hand*
>*cracks*
>Judo kick multiple jewminatis coming to oppress me
>*Shadilay plays in the background*
>"Huh, just in time"
>Jordan Peele slowing coming from behind with a gun to try and assassinate me
>Throw jewcicle at him
>Temporarily stunned
>Move in for the kill
>*shoots*
>Started doing crav maga
>Pin him to ground
>"Huh, John Wick was useful afterall"
>*Cocks gun*
>"Too little, too late knigger"
>*Shoot him in the head*
>Everyone runs and screams
>Badly injured
>limping back to podium
>Look dead into the camera
>Oscar is bloodied and chipped

As I was saying...

*take award, breathing heavily*
>So, how about that drive in? I'm just kidding. But seriously. This is the greatest moment of my life. I'm so glad that my unscrupulous parents, desperate to cash-in on their adorable baby boy, moved to Hollywood and sacrificed me to my Jewish overlords. They abused me throughout my youth, but always made sure I got the best parts. After four years of binge-drinking, cocaine-use, and cruising the Sunset Strip, I was still in debt and so my agent contrived a comeback for me. That's why I took on the role in a gritty crime drama, for which I was nominated. Now that I've won, I hope my debts are paid and I can flee the soul-crushingly cynical cesspool known as Hollywood. Thank-you.

"Four chan dot org slash tee vee slash. Type it in just like that. Thank you"

wow fuck you

>I am a sad lonely fat ass faggot but at least I didn't sell my soul to take part in the movie lalaland. Thank you.

>Grab oscar
>Just start screaming
>Have to be escorted off stage

Got em

>Everyone. Everybody.
>I, uh... I wanna thank you all for coming here tonight and drinking all of my booze.
>No, really. Uh... There's a thing about being a Wayne that... you're never short of a few freeloaders, like yourselves, to fill up your mansion with, so, here's to you people. Thank you.
>Mm... I'm not finished. To all of you, uh, all you phonies, all of you two-faced friends, you sycophantic suck-ups who smile through your teeth at me, please leave me in peace. Please go. Stop smiling. It's not a joke. Please leave. The party's over. Get out.

>I've masturbated to so many of you.


>like...a lot

mfw I win an oscar

KARL YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT
PLAY A RECORD

>act all lovingly surprised when they say my name
>wake up shaking hands
>go up accept oscar
>pull out paper
>put on glasses on bridge of nose
>cough a bit
>"FUCKING NORMIES! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"!
>"thank you"
>sprint off stage and fling spaghetti from my pockets on to the masses

k i i n o

Sup Forums triggered and crying like always. Worse than tumblr. You're not funny at all

>NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER

short and simple.

i appreciate it greatly. thank you


ill include the short and simple to let people know im a minimalist kind of guy

Is this a bot? I keep seeing the same replies that at best make half-sense to the post they're (you)ing

You weren't on the edge of your seat waiting to hear Joe Pesci's thoughts on climate change? Faggot

*walk on stage*
*receive Oscar from Amy Adams*
>"Congratulations," she says as we hug.
>"You too."

"FOR YOU!"
"WE DID IT Sup Forums !"

Probably the dude samefagging his post because nobody originally replied to it

>Tfw people who aren't from Sup Forums act like they're from Sup Forums

For you.

l o l

I'd like to thank the internet website called Sup Forums, thats 4-c-h-a-n.org I often surf the world wide web there, exchanging ideas and having healthy debates with the diverse and considerate community. I would encourage everyone to visit and post, as all are welcome! A part of the Sup Forums community, Sup Forums, has inspired me to write my next screenplay, "listen and learn from one another: a meditative journey". Thank you!!

Life is Kino!

Underrated

top jej

Towards the end of the speech I look directly into the camera:
>It would be extremely painful if I left this stage without getting to say this: Television & Film has been my life. But never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I'd become such a big guy in this industry. To all the people who inspired me along the way: this award is... for you.

>I am truly honored. I am now going to go home and kill myself because nothing else I do will amount to this moment.

Correct answer here.

"Umm, yeah, hi everyone, uhh, I'm not really one for big speeches or any pomp or any of that sort of thing, so I just want to say, yeah, thanks, I really appreciate your applause and respect and all that. Really though, this award goes to everyone who worked on *film I was in* . This really is for you guys, you are the real winners *points award at cast and crew and pauses for applause*. So yeah, hats off to everyone who worked on *film*, from *co-star* to *name of work experience kid* who *did minor inconsequential thing*. This award is for you. So yeah, have a good night everyone, thanks again."

So Trump...