You're now about to win an Oscar

>You're now about to win an Oscar.

What will your acceptance speech be?

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thank

RUMP RUMP TOOK A DUMP DUMP

FUCK TRUMP

BRAAP

I'd like to thank Donald J Trump for being the best president ever!

Id honestly just want to see the butthurt is all.

"This goes for Pasolini the director who inspired me and the reason why Im here today. Thanks to my mother too I love you. Thanks Academy"

Fuck white people

fuck trump and fuck white people

The Oscar statue is white! Thank you

"y-you too"

Fuck You Weinsteins

>I'm just saying: look at the names of every major Hollywood exec. Just sayin'!

Easier than I thought to be honest. then again, have you seen the other nominees? Laughable, anyway MAGA and 8 more years bitch. P.S. Helen Mirren is a hypocrite and everyone in this room knows it.

BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

snnnnniiiiiiffffffffffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....sssssssnniff...eggs I smell?......sniff sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff....quite pungent eggs yes very much so .....ssssssssssssssnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiffffff....ah yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....cheese.....quite wet my dear....sniff...but oh yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....

BBBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPFFFFFF

Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff.....sssssnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff.....hmmm...hhhmmmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry......hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes.....onion and garlic chutney I take it my dear?.....hmmmmm....yes quite.....

BBBBBBRRRRRRRRPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT

Oh I was not expecting that…that little gust my dear….you caught me off guard…yes…so gentle it was though…hmmmm…let me taste this little one…just one small sniff…..sniff…ah….ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffff…and yet…so strong…yes…the odor….sniff sniff…hmmm….is that….sniff….hmmm….I can almost taste it my dear…..yes….just…sniff….a little whiff more if you please…..ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffff…ah yes I have it now….yes quite….hhhhmmmm…delectable my dear…..quite exquisite yes…..I dare say…sniff….the most pungent one yet my dear….ssssnnnnniiiifffffffffffffffffffffff….yes….

Make crackers a minority in their own countries, and god bless the jews.

youtube.com/watch?v=O0Q_nyjuEak

I'd quote some Alex Jones shit about pedophilia rings and psychic vampires

I'd recite the entire 109 minutes of Goebbel's Sportpalastrede in hebrew.

Fuck the Oscars, full of kike-loving neocons niggers, 14/88, fuck off minorities, Trump is my role model.

>lightly walk to stage while fist bumping Justin Timberlake and hugging my director
Wow what an honor, first of all I'd like to say..
FUCK TRUMP, he is literally Hitler and we should stop him
>wait for standing ovation and huge cheering
ALSO FUCK WHITE PEOPLE
>crowd erupts into DEATH TO AMERICA chants and INSHALLAH
WE NEED TO HAVE INCOME EQUALITY
>closeup of Meryl Streep shouting SLAY SISTA
WE ARE IMPORTANT, STORYTELLING IS LIFE AND MEANINGFUL
>crowd nods in agreement, wipe sweat with two thousand dollar prada napkin
Finally I'd like to thank Harvey Weinstein and Bob Iger

global wamring. tibet. children of africa and trump

my speech: "THE BEST EPISODE OF SPONGEBOB IS THE ONE WHERE SPONGEBOB IS PLAYING THE MUSIC TOO LOUD THANKS"

I, a white male, will hand my award over to Spike Lee for his movie Fuck Whitey, as is tradition. Brilliant! That's ten years in a row that blacks have won. We're making progress, guys.

FOR YOU

I would love to do what Joe Pesci did

youtube.com/watch?v=O0Q_nyjuEak

i'd take out my concealed ar-15 and shoot the crowd

"are you sure the envelope is correct?"

Reported to the FBI elliot

...

>You like me! You really like me!

I'd just say that for the entire aloted time.

i dedicate this to brendan fraser, for no reason

"If I didn't give acting a chance, I would've probably shot up my school. God bless Allah for putting me on the right path. Allahu akbar!"

I'd like to than- oh I'm sorry the gay niggers actually won

*drops award and goes home*

MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN

Standing on this stage makes you feel like a big guy, but this award isn't for me, it's for you

this autism

>i got a c-note that says i can fit this statue up Streep's ass - any takers?

wtf would the movie be called polight?

...

How long would they let a non A-list star talk up there?

Is the music they play to speed speeches along binding? Do you HAVE to stop your speech? Or could you hypothetically filibuster the Oscars?

FUCK DRUMPF AND FUCK WHITE PEOPLE!

Thanks for this piece of plastic. Trump 2020

faggot

...

You can get others to accept it for you.

>Ha ha an oscar, oh wow. I did not expect this. Umm... is Judy Greer in the audience? Where are you? Well if you are there, Judy, how'd you like to shack up with an oscar winner? Fuck your husband. That's all.... Oh and thanks I guess

CHECKED AND SALUTED

"Sup Forums please fuck off and go back to your contaiment board"

Now I truly am a big guy for you

I'd like to thank the visionary director Quentin Tarantino and our two lovely stars Annasophia and Kristin, without you this movie would just be words on a page. My thanks to the academy and remember, keep looking down.

Good job La La Land, good job...
HOWEVER

Thanks to the academy and check these digits

Let me tell you about the jews...

(You)

I want to thank Moonlight for promoting faggotry among the minorities.

FUCK DRUMPF AND FUCK WHITE PEOPLE

Moon Crickets won, no this is not a joke.

Let's talk about the first time I saw a child being diddled by a producer on set. The first time really sticks with you. The others, less so, you're used to it. But that first time, oh boy.
So there I was...

oy vey

basically this

youtube.com/watch?v=-MvZ-OvFHCs

almost

Fuk u

>"Listen, you fuckers, you screwheads. Here is a man who would not take it anymore. A man who stood up against the scum, the cunts, the dogs, the filth, the shit. Here is a man who stood up., I now present the Lifetime Achievement award to Mr.Mel Gibson."

you are all a bunch of self important delusional assholes who think you deserves to be rewarded for no reason this gold toy is meaningless, fuck all of you and never talk to me.

>no more deluded than my self righteuosness,
>just a gold toy signifying excellence in an art is meaningless
>ive never won anything and im black Wah

What is, dumb nigger for 200 alex?

>I want to thank his majesty Lord Donald Trump for being a role model and someone to live up to
>I want to thank thank Hitler and Sup Forums for redpilling me so that I saw the light regarding the Jews
>But mostly I want to thank myself. I didn't need the help of the Schlomo's, the queers and the SJW's of Hollywood, I did it all by myself
I just want to give a speech that will the talk of the day
Pissing off as much people as possible seems like the best way to achieve that goal

>I could be home playing Nier Automata right now
>*walk of the stage*

actually im white i have won things before (obviously nothing globally televised) and i tanked those too and disliking award shows isnt deluded, believing you deserve to be worshipped because youve made something meaningless is deluded. i love art and enjoy it and work hard to create it myself, but its still essentially meaningless. ive always believed art should be made for arts sake and not for a reward. also why would you assume im black, mostly i think claiming black people not getting a pat on the back for making something isnt inequality or oppression, and claiming it is is delusional and insulting to people who actually are oppressed.

>I never thought I'd be here accepting this, but life can really be funny sometimes.
>I'd like to thank the entire cast and crew, my family, and my animals back home for helping me get through everything that comes my way.
>Cassie, looks like I'm bringing you home a new toy *holds up oscar*

>"cheers"
>walk off stage

Won for best actor, too

THE KIKES DID 9/11

I pull my pants and underwear down and shove the Oscar statuette up my ass, then scream at the top of my lungs "HOLLYWOOD FUCKS US ALL"

FIRST I WOULD LIKE TO THANK ALL BLACK PEOPLE AND THE POOR IMMIGRANTS.

I ALSO WANT SPEND A MOMENT TO THANK MERYL STREEP, HOW ABOUT WE ALL GIVE HER A STANDING OVATION FOR BEING SUCH A BRAVE WOMAN.

ALSO TRUMP IS BAD, THANK YOU.

"OscarsSoWhite was a plot by Jewish filmmakers to distract from the fact that the winners of Academy Awards are overwhelmingly Jewish. Thank you. I just want to thank my crew and my studio, as well as my sponsors. All of them agree with my views."

i can't even decide at this point if these are just maxed irony/sarcasm/cynism or Sup Forums truely became overpopulated with lefties/cucks/niggers.

if irony, i advice you shoud stop, because it just lures the latter fuckers here

>he doesn't know about Sup Forums's past
kek

>I want to attach great importance to the emphasis on the broad masses, because I cannot bring myself to accept the conviction that the actions and inactions of our national leaders can be attributed to the same corrupting delusion. Inasmuch as the leadership of our destiny has, since the end of the War, been in the hands of Jews, by this time entirely openly, one can really not agree that the cause of our misfortune is only insufficient knowledge, but on the contrary one must be convinced that conscious intent is ruining our nation. And as soon as one examines, from this viewpoint, the apparent insanity of our national foreign policy leadership, it reveals itself to be a highly refined, icy logic serving the Jewish idea and struggle for world conquest.

>allah akbar

Thanks for the bit o' brass

I just want to say:

GRAB HER BY THE PUSSY

>*turn statuette upside down*
>"huh, made in china..anyway, thank you!"

Gas the Kikes, race war NOW! *roman salute*

Can someone give me a ride home please?

I'm not black, or jewish, or homosexual, so this is probably a mistake

There is nothing wrong with pedophilia

Humanity has found the age group of 9-12 attractive for 50,000 years of human history and we are supposed to deny that fact in this day and age because the last 60-70 years said we aren't supposed to.

Poe's law

piece of shit

Why thee fuck does there always have to be a speech? What happened to old fashioned accept, and GTFO of there?

cue every child you've ever come into contact with suing you for molestation

"Four chan dot org slash tee slash vee. Type it into your address bar and press enter. Thank you."

FUCK DRUMPF
WE WUZ KANGZ

>Walks back out and says "I got that wrong. It's slash tee vee slash.
>Thank you again

>trips while walking offstage as entire theater sits in silence

>Fuck Marvel!

cringe

Are they really jumping down his throat just because he's white? I'm completely lost. Beatty is a GOOD BOY

The 14 words. But then I get ushered away and the award is actually given to Jerome after a "mistake."

That's not how jeopardy works

Hwat?

youtube.com/watch?v=2QUacU0I4yU