>Be Brad Pitt
>Have women constantly clammering to be pumped and dumped by me.
>take a break from pounding 18 year old supermodel pussy all day.
>Marry Prime Jennifer Aniston.
>Fuck her for a while and spend that sweet sweet Friends money.
>notice she's getting old decide to have an affair with my prime Angelina Jolie.
>marry Jolie and bang her until her tits fall off
>notice she's getting old decide to divorce.
How can one man be so based, who's he going to marry next??
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he should've married Goop
>pounding 18 year old supermodel
>53 year old Brad Pitt
No, you fucking reatard, he's not fucking children.
18 year olds are not children
4u
>being alimony justed
>based
lmao
Not an argument.
he gets too much plastic surgery done. it's the same with leo. these guys could age gracefully like keeanu or cage but want so desperately to not be the old Jack Nicholson playboy types that they're going to end up like the bogdanoffs
he looked old in Moneyball
could you imagine what their children would look like? dam, so cute.
I know this is likely bait, but let's set the record straight...
Brad Pitt transcends the alpha-beta paradigm. The guy is a super-mega-ultra-alpha. When you're in his league, you don't even have to maintain "alpha" pretensions. The world is yours.
Imagine walking down the street and knowing any woman you look at will go moist instantly. Even the most forthright, loyal, happily married women would gladly sacrifice their family lives to fuck you just once. Even a glance would fill them with validation and be remembered as a highlight of their lives.
Pitt is so off-the-charts alpha that he's probably bored with it. The things he says and does make no sense to people like you and me. We still have brass rings we want to grab. Pitt has gotten them all, and he's probably drifted into a strange form of insanity.
For all we know, the guy flies to Taiwan and fucks kids dressed as firemen. Maybe the guy gets off by fucking animals on the endangered species list. He grew tired of pussy so long ago that his tastes have likely grown ever more bizarre and gourmet.
The guy could simply say the word, and an army of 10/10 women would volunteer to be his live-in slave for fuck's sake.
The guy is way beyond alpha.
>way beyond alpha
>spent a decade raising a brood of niglets because his wife demanded it
Hmm.
Why would he care?
He only saw them for photo ops
He has the money
Free publicity
Do you really think Brad spent his days changing Tyrone's diapers? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
And yet, he still somehow won the exchange.
Brad is beta af. He is deniro tier boring.
He still looks fucking great though, only thing is, I've noticed when he puts on weight it seems to go straight to his face.
she hasn't changed one fucking bit :3
>>marry Jolie and bang her until her tits fall off
keked
pretty entertaining narrative, op
has absolutely no basis in reality of course, reminds me a lot of Sup Forums
that's why Goop is superior
I can't stand Jennifer Anniston, but her jewish aging genes are superior to Brad's.
He fucked up.
She hasn't aged since friends.
She looks terrible though... Her mouth barely moves.
female Dorian Grey
those no panties dresses always stimulate my imagination
This is right desu, One of America's most beloved and high paid actors. Has been in the zone for decades after his big break, he deserves to be atop the mountain but like you said that comes with it's own curse, to be at that level for so long, simple pleasures that we might enjoy are trivial to them. We care about how much money we save/make or sex gets but he's probably wondering which company he wants to invest for anti aging or prolonging life. What else is there when you have fuck u money and power/fame?
>>Brad Pitt transcends the alpha-beta paradigm. The guy is a super-mega-ultra-alpha. When you're in his league, you don't even have to maintain "alpha" pretensions. The world is yours.
only betas believe that alpha men are men who give easily oragasms to numerous women and impose their will on other men
>focusing on alpha qualities
>he's actually a good, compassionate guy that people who care about alphas hate
>superior to Brad's
idk, he looked 30 for like 20 years
I'd say he's doing fine
He wasted 12 years of his life raising nigglets with Skeletor. Not even my life is that shit.
YOU ARE THE ONE THAT IS AN EXCHANGE!
...
Can't really tell if real hair or JUST shopped in
>reatard
op said he did that before he married J.Aniston, retard
>no panties
kek, Pitt makes the JUST hair look good
Brad stop posting go back to bed with your flat as a board wife
how the fuck didn't I know her body was so perfect
Goop was my waifu in the late 90s
moar pls
Kys
Why does he look so much like Steven Tyler in this picture?
f.lewd.se/B7H01r.webm
it's just not fair.
why did i have to be born a fugly autist? i'm in my thirties and kissless. why does life hate me?
>husbando dump
...
Pitt had a lot of acne scars when he was younger tho
90's brad was literal god tier
that's kind of stretching to say it counts against him. if you're handsome enough minor imperfectiions become 'character and charm building'
my whole life, on the other hand, is one big acne scar.
If you've ever "changed waifus" or ever had more than one, then you've never actually had a waifu. A waifu is about love, something you immature Sup Forumsfags don't understand.
imagine being so good looking that the success of films, hundreds of millions of dollars, can be ensured by your mere casting?
I'm so ugly that when a film crew was making a documentary about the factory i work at, my boss made me sign a release because they knew i wouldn't want to be filmed and would sue for exposing me to the ridicule of being in a movie.
Connected earlobes.
>ewww
...
Since he your husbando
Here is he banging my first waifu
she got married, had kids and started doing obscure indie movies by the mid 00s
...
the Bogdanovs have growth hormone disorders. they don't look like that because of surgery.
>smoking
wouldn't fuck 0/10
pretty sure he banged jill shoelen, who i had a boner for in cutting class
Pitt works out.
>Dem fridge hips
>clean underwear
Pfff yeah right
>marrying
>alpha
pick one faggot
>dating
as in, getting cucked by and taken money away by?
>marrying Gwyneth "Seven Limes" Paltrow
I'd say he dodged a bullet. Then he took one with Jolie.
based mel doing it again
...
Brad Pitt is literally becoming Tristan Ludlow. With every woman around him falling heads over heels and most men looking up to him, but he refuses to settle down for long despite having the world in his palm.
Kek, he's kinda a bitchboy irl. Also he's dumb as a box of rocks.
An alpha is leo. Not some dicklet that marries overbearing cunts that lead him around on a leash and spend all his money on orphan shitskin guttertrash like pitt.
>no pussy stain on the underwear
>women dating old men because of easy money
>HURR DURR BASED
I didn't know this board approved golddigging whores.
>Bear wrestling when?
How did Sup Forums like Allied?
I thought it was pretty good desu.
>my boss made me sign a release because he knew i was autistic and have serious mental issues.
fixed
Leo is better in any way
>cutie
>never married
>bang super models all day but...
>...dream and love one waifu his whole life
>love his mom
This
>This whole fucking post
why is everyone hating gwyneth?
its pedowood he most certainly is
>marrying a spoilt princess
>im the only one that fucking recognizes this pasta
fucking newfag tourists everywhere these days, jesus christ
>who's he going to marry next
a girl name ali
ali mony
...
Gibs rundown pls?
I want Sup Forums to leave
also kys op
They were black.
aint gonna be visible without close inspections anyway
>the boy who cried Sup Forums
Die in a fire
She isn't Jewish
>>notice she's getting old decide to divorce.
She is very unstable and it was a matter of time before she really hit the deep end. Pretty soon she will be fucking her oldest son.
Mel seems he likes the brunettes
He didn't activate his almonds.
Would have never worked out.
You think Kate was the one who took his virginity away?
>tfw mid/late 90s twunk Brad will never ride your dick
why fucking live
>divorce prime Aniston and marry never-had-a-prime Meme Jolie
>take care of a litter of vietnamese and ethiopian kids because Jolie is crazy
>your actual children are born, Jolie feels nothing for them because she's crazy
>Jolie chops her tits off
>you no longer like pretending to care for the gooks and the niggers you raised, she notices and divorces you
>she sues you for A L I M O N Y
>she starts banging the older vietnamese gook she calls "son"
>meanwhile, Aniston is as fuckable as ever, and miles ahead of the hungry titless skellington with an international litter of third-worlders on her back
>"I've made a terrible mistake"