>Americans have to "come out" as atheists to their parents
>Americans must obtain a so-called "fancy booze licence" from their local sheriff to consume any alcohol other than Coors, Budweiser or Miller
>Americans are encouraged to become obese, as the extra fat serves as protection from gunfire
>Americans are implanted with a special microchip at birth which sends a moderate electric shock through their bodies every time they acknowledge that they lost in Vietnam
>Americans refer to the metric system as "The Forbidden Knowledge"
>Americans are shot dead by North Korean border guards in their dozens annually during attempted guerilla attacks waged with the intention of "getting revenge for Pearl Harbour"
>Americans who find themselves in the presence of Israeli Jews must perform a "submission hoedown." This involves a highly choreographed dancing performance demonstrating the American's subordinate position to the Israeli. The hoedown ends with the American loudly proclaiming "YOU DA BOSS, YEE-HAW!!"
>Americans refer to Type 2 Diabetes as "The Burden of Manifest Destiny"
>Americans visiting Auschwitz are frequently reprimanded for attempting to restart the ovens for usage with their reheatable Holocaust-themed packed lunches
>American babies are "vaccinated" with shrapnel in order to ward off mass shootings
>American children are required to undergo the "McDonald's Initiation Ceremony" on their fifth birthday, where they are taken to their local McDonald's and must ritualistically consume every item on the menu before reciting all the advertising slogans in chronological order
>Americans actually confuse atheism as a religion and actively wish to ban it
>Americans believe that god is their flag and burning it releases a demon called communism that will take over their children's minds.
Nicholas Taylor
(You)
Andrew Morales
2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 8, 10, 11 are not real. Why do you post this retarded memeshit? This is a politics board.
Jeremiah Anderson
Nothing can stop the eternal burger
Nicholas Jackson
>Britain used to be white
Elijah Diaz
some of these were clever and i found funny I deny you another (you)
Isaac Sanders
OP blown the fuck out. Now the thread dies. Cringe shit too. I couldn't even read past your the North Korean thing... it's not even good trolling. It's like you're new at trolling and just mixed all the different trolling styles together into one shitty form
Owen Wood
alright
Nolan Cox
Britain is 88% white, you're at 63% and you count Arabs as white
Hunter Lee
So these are real: >>Americans have to "come out" as atheists to their parents >>Americans are shot dead by North Korean border guards in their dozens annually during attempted guerilla attacks waged with the intention of "getting revenge for Pearl Harbour" >>Americans visiting Auschwitz are frequently reprimanded for attempting to restart the ovens for usage with their reheatable Holocaust-themed packed lunches >>Americans actually confuse atheism as a religion and actively wish to ban it >>Americans believe that god is their flag and burning it releases a demon called communism that will take over their children's minds.
aight then
Luis Reed
>>American babies are "vaccinated" with shrapnel in order to ward off mass shootings
Wait, this one is actually true. How did you know about this?
Seriously NSA, get on your shit and find this guy.
Zachary Bell
>achmed is shitposting on Sup Forums at 5 in the morning again
Cooper Gonzalez
>Foreign country has oil >Seed CIA agents among the populace >They start training guerilla groups and arming those who are upset with the current regime >Suddenly "Freedom fighters" start clashing with Government forces >Outwardly condemn "Oppressive" Government while clandestinely supporting rebels >Eventually overthrow current leader and instill puppet government >Purchase all their oil for a pittance >Use it to power my motorized scooter
The World is merely a Game to the American. We play you people like a tiny fiddle. We're two steps ahead and 300 lbs heavier. Fear us, feed us, we are the Eternal Burger. We will strike you down and suck your resources from the earth, leave naught but barren dirt in our wake.
Americana Imperium
Connor Edwards
Alright bongs, that was pretty damn funny
Matthew Flores
>Britain is 88% white
Wew. I hope you're counting Scotland and Ireland in that one.
Levi Smith
yeah but 500 years ago america was 0% white and britain was 100% white
Alexander Cook
>>Americans are implanted with a special microchip at birth which sends a moderate electric shock through their bodies every time they acknowledge that they lost in Vietnam
The South Vietnamese lost in Vietnam.
The House and Senate cut off funding then Nixon/Kissinger pulled out. Third world (Brown) nations tend to fall apart whenever First World (White) Nations pull out. (See post WWII British Colonies)
As for the rest of your post yes it is all true. It's what happens when an Unholy Alliance of English Religious Extremists and British Capitalists come together.
Austin Sanders
7/10. I laffed
Colton Stewart
>coming out as a reformist kike worshipper to your kike worshipping parent Who gives a shit
Alexander Wilson
is capitalism our religion then?
Joseph Hill
you really think people would do that, go on the inter and just lie?
you seem to be upset, are you angry?
yes without a doubt
so basically your hungry and your asking me to feed you, go microwave something.
theres those micro chips at work.
Connor Richardson
>Americans got tired of your stupid bullshit 12 score years ago.