I can't fucking stand this guy. Even Jahns is better...

I can't fucking stand this guy. Even Jahns is better. He's just so fucking pretentious but has no actual knowledge at all.

Other urls found in this thread:

twitter.com/Chris_Stuckmann/status/721417846610198528/photo/1?ref_src=twsrc^tfw
youtube.com/watch?v=8qse8LJmPV8
youtube.com/watch?v=qxgreWzkL3I
letterboxd.com/stjiub/list/chris-stuckmanns-film-buffs-bucket-list/
youtube.com/watch?v=j7XKrPjy-wA
youtube.com/watch?v=jmEFfaOMEGQ
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

>has no actual knowledge at all.
>Even Jahns is better
>implying Jahns has knowledge
>implying you're not just saying that because you have some strange obsession with Stuckmann

Yeah, fuck right off, kid. There isn't anything really pretentious about Stuckmann. The guy used to make Indiana Jones fan films. What exactly is your problem with him, faggot?

I don't think Jahns has knowledge than Stuckmann, I just think he's more open about being a pleb.

Chris Stuckman can come across as a thin-skinned little bitch sometimes but pretentious and unknowledgable aren't words I'd use to describe him. Some of his videos are really quite informative.

Ever since RLM called him a prick, he's been trying to shed the label of being just another Youtube reviewer. He's been trying to have more "patrician" tastes and even aping HitB with that knucklehead Flick friend of his.

Anyone who unironically places "geek" stuff in the background of their youtube video sucks on principle.

RLM = Sup Forums

Stuckman = reddit

At least there's proof that he's attempted film making, even if it was shit and a while ago.

Tell that to Zod's snapped neck.

Why does he always have to talk about his childhood? Literally every video. Also I guess he fucking loved every franchise ever fucking made cause every god damn movie somehow holds some sort of childhood importance to him, enough so that you just NEED to know.

He JUSTed himself pretty badly with the whole "snapped neck" thing. This was just the nail in the coffin

He said that The Nice Guys should have won best picture, no knowledgeable person would say that.

Who cares just don't watch his channel autist, oh wait you couldn't because you're fucking pathetic and need to shill for other reviewers because that's your shit life irrelevant Youtube review shit.

The job of youtube reviewers is to demonstrate why gatekeepers are necessary

What is the zods snapped neck thing? Did he spoil man of steel or something?

his in depth analysis are really pretentious with the gay little music he uses in the background

But Jahns doesn't try to come off as a guy with knowledge. He's just a pleb who likes movies and he knows it

>Nice Guys should have won Best Picture

Did he actually say that? I thought he said get a Screenplay nom oO

I mean... I think Nice Guy's is a well made comedy and very enjoyable... but seriously? Best Pic? Wtf?

Nah, we wrote a fucking atrocious alternate bit of dialogue for Batman v Superman and posted it on twitter. One of the lines was Batman retorting to Superman with "Oh yeah? Tell that to Zod's snapped neck". Unsurprisingly everyone thought it was shit and started making fun of him for it. He took it really badly and made some super cringey video about the whole thing

Here's the tweet: twitter.com/Chris_Stuckmann/status/721417846610198528/photo/1?ref_src=twsrc^tfw


Here's the video: youtube.com/watch?v=8qse8LJmPV8

You think any companies have bribed him/paid him off in the past?

Why does he make those exaggerated faces in his video thumbnails? I can't quite put my finger on why, but it always comes off as cringey when YouTubers do that.

Also, he needs to stop doing videos with his wife. She seems so disinterested and that kind of kills it for me.

Other than that, he makes a decent channel.

Oh, and I wish he'd stop doing reviews with FlickPick, that guy is seriously unfunny.

>"What? You thought a pair of glasses could fool the worlds greatest detective?"

Wowwwww

Thank you user. Jesus why didn't he just ignore everything and move on until everyone eventually forgot for the most part.

I have absolutely no idea. Like someone else said, he's very thin skinned and lacks a lot of self awareness

Apparently. I personally would have just pretended it never happened.

yeah, but then he makes a good video like his "drive" review that actually has some good insight, dude is a contradiction, sometimes he can be objectively a leggit critic/reviewer but sometimes he is just a turbofag

RLM = unwatchable shit
Stuckmann = reddit

there you have

Chris has, as he would say, 'Stuckmannized' me twice in the past. I used to be a really big fan and got to talking to him on Twitter. He even invited me over to his a couple of times XD!! On the first occasion, his wife was away at the Toronto film festival and he invited me over to watch the entire Nolan stretch of Batman films. Well, in Batman Begins, at the point where the Joffrey kid turns to Batman and tells him, "the other kids won't believe me", Chris paused the bluray and told me that the other kids wouldn't believe me either. He left the room, and when he returned he was wearing a poor imitation of Ryan Goslings outfit in Drive and he proceeded to rape me for five minutes. He was constantly chattering about how it would only be 5 minutes and that there was no way it could go in or outside of that time. After the 5 minutes were up, I wiggled out from underneath him and ran crying from his house. He screamed after me that he, "didn't have wheels on his dick", whatever that meant. The second time happened a couple of weeks later, he invited me over to finish watching the movies. At the point in the aeroplane in TDKR, he again paused the film and left the room. When he returned, he was dressed as Bane, complete with fake muscles. He stood over me and asked me if he was a, "Big Guy". I realised i was dealing with a psychopath at this point so I told him I thought he was a big guy. He hit me across the face and asked, "But am i a Big Guy for you?”. He motioned towards his dick, which he constantly referred to as “Zod’s snapped neck”, and told me to tell it to Zod’s snapped neck. I told his penis that he was a big guy for me, and he flipped me over and started talking me from behind, constantly moaning in a crude imitation of Hardy's Bane. And he was a good friend.

tell that to the RLM fags in here, they are the worst along cunnyposters and Sup Forums

>defending a kike

>Oh, and I wish he'd stop doing reviews with FlickPick, that guy is seriously unfunny.
that dude is leggit insane, but at least stuckmann lets him fuck his ass and get stuckmannised

>reddit letter media = reddit
fixd

>He motioned towards his dick, which he constantly referred to as “Zod’s snapped neck”

Get Stuckmannized!

>yeah, but then he makes a good video like his "drive" review that actually has some good insight,

Because those insights aren't his own, they're cribbed from other sources.

seeing this pasta is why I come to cuckmann threads

>Oh, and I wish he'd stop doing reviews with FlickPick, that guy is seriously unfunny.
Yeah what the fuck is his appeal.

This is pretty fresh pasta, isn't it?

I think he has a weird dynamic with the FlickPick. Those are the only videos I find entertaining. Chris is this beta nerd and Flick is like an alpha nerd who says creepy fucked up things constantly. He gives off psycho vibes. Like he's a ticking time bomb. I don't know if it's good but it's certainly interesting. I think there was some video of him accompanying Chris to buy manchild toys and the whole times Steroids Guy is calling the store they're ar Babies R Us and Chris gets autistic about it.

you think you are better than me? you probably are

Jahns doesn't pretend that he is something that he's not. Same can't be said for Stuckmann

>You're a young girl, good looking, plucky.
>The sort of girl who leaves high school with her whole life ahead of her.
>You meet this guy.
>He's kinda funny, a little bit socially autistic but he's cute.
>He does film videos for YouTube and has a following so that's a bit of a turn on.
>You start dating and slowly the cracks begin to show. His social skills actually leave a lot to be desired, he can only ever talk about movies and true cinema and anime.
>It's fun sometimes but just once you'd like him to ask you about your day.
>You start to think about breaking up with him. But you worry that because he works from home he'll have no one else left.
>Not only that he seems very petty and that he wouldn't hesitate in publicly shaming you on his channel.
>You're at dinner one night, you're busy fantasising about the cute waiter that keeps smiling at you.
>You see your boyfriend get down off the chair to tie his shoe or something.
>You nod and agree to whatever he's saying while making eyes at the waiter.
>Suddenly the whole restaurant starts clapping.
>What's going on?
>You look down and realise he just proposed to you.
>Oh no.
>He starts crying and blubbering about how he's so happy and he can't wait to spend the rest of his life with you.
>On the way back to the car the realisation sinks in.
>You're trapped with this sperg.
>Your hopes of becoming a photographer, traveling to India, and exploring the world disappear.
>He just grins as he sits in the passenger seat next to you (he can't drive of course).
>You look down and see that he's unzipped his pants.
>His 4.5 inch penis is at full mast.
>This is your life now.
>You go down and begin to blow him.
>You start to cry as you realise your hopes and dreams die in this moment.
>You look up at the man who ruined your life and see pic related

youtube.com/watch?v=qxgreWzkL3I

How's that possible when Sup Forums likes the prequels?

Lol at these bros muscling in on the geek market.

>the geek market.
Why is this so fetishised atm. What's the extent of it? Is there a Geek Economy?

Cuckman

Well it's not that hard to get to the income level of "I could theoretically support a child if needed to" then the unmmaried masses can just spend all that money on geek items instead.

I guarantee that despite most people being big into saving they don't really that much at all.

HOW WILL HE EVER RECOVER

he does seem the sort though

all of my this
he has quite a few good, more in-depth reviews that I really like

everything else is the most pleb-shit crap I've seen (granted I don't see that much pleb-shit """""reviews""""")

it's annoying having to filter through his pointless shit to get to the better parts
in most reviews he says jack shit about the movie, so as not to spoil it; "great direction, great camera work, the performances just blew me away [...]" the fuck am I gonna do with that? might as well just say "I liked it" and end it, it has the same value

Dark cloud.

>"great direction, great camera work, the performances just blew me away [...]"
Yeah, it's not like he couldn't build on what he means without giving anything away. That is if he knew what the fuck he was talking about, which he doesn't.

letterboxd.com/stjiub/list/chris-stuckmanns-film-buffs-bucket-list/

wish he'd stop trying to be funny. he's not. just make regular serious reviews, stop trying to be rlm

>normies literally write essays to white knight the dude over a joke

Why?

Whyyyyyyyyyy?

Dont talk shit about the Flick Pick.

YT needs more reviewers with gains.

>Yes Chris, tell them how great it is to see films about strong blacks
>Tell them Chris

I'm confused. You said he's thin skinned and not self aware but in that very same cringe video he talks about how he didn't mind the meme at all.
He also said the only reason he was pissed was because people started finding and calling his parents about it.

Hey Chris, why do you worry so much about what other people think?

Is it because your grandparents said you looked like a taller Tom Cruise when you were a kid and being the autistic sperg that you are you let that throwaway compliment go to your head?

At least Jeremy knows he's a pleb and doesn't try to hide it. I admire that

(Y-You) too....

Under fucking rated
Feel stuckmanized

This holy fuck. I'm glad someone else has picked up on this. This pissed me off even when I used to watch him.

It's actually not everything, and it's hilarious that you would find this annoying. Most of the things he relates to are common for people of his generation. I'm guessing you're a generation Z little faggot that grew up with an iPhone up his ass, am I right?

fuck, that's all too real

Anytime he says he looks like Tom Cruise I feel really uncomfortable on his behalf

nah, Jahns is worse. Stuckmann is the king of simpletons, but he's probably a chill guy to have a beer with. Jahns just seems like a cunt

Lmao the flick pick is way funnier than cuckmann

His wife looked cute in the early videos now she looks like an old hag.

Jesus FUCKING christ.

>Lacks a lot of self awareness
That photo out of nowhere in Get Out was something else.

All e-celebs are cancer. Quarantine board when?

He's just really difficult to take seriously when he tries to talk more in-depth about a film because of all that shit on the shelves behind him.

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I don't like him either, but you know, you don't have to watch his youtube videos if you can't stand him

What's wrong with Chris Stuckmann? He's based AF

Pleb
L
E
B

But Jahns at least seems self aware. I feel like if you were to even bust Chris' "balls" in the slightest, he'd freak out and get all defensive and angry, whereas Jahns would probably just laugh it off.

holy shit lol

He recently learned about the Kuleshov effect and has not shut the fuck up about it.

I actually wasted 3 years of my life at Film School, and this is quite literally day 1 material, he's about as informed in film technique and theory as a day 1 undergraduate 18 year old.

The only video of his I've ever seen was the one where he dresses up like the Drive guy and physically attacks a copy of Dragonball Evolution. I was perplexed. What do Drive and a Dragonball movie have to do with each other? How did he make the connection in his mind between these two movies? How did he watch this live action anime knockoff movie and reach the conclusion that the best bit of entertainment he could make about it would be to dress up like the protagonist from Drive and reenact a scene, but with a Dragonball Evolution cd also there?

The best conclusion I could come up with is that he has some weird personal attachment to the Drive protagonist and was just looking for any reason to act out that scene as a power fantasy, but shit I don't know. I came away from it with the same feeling I get when I see a Sonic original character self-insert.

youtube.com/watch?v=j7XKrPjy-wA

Think Jahns said 'best friends call each other pricks' when someone commented that RLM called him a prick So he took it like a champ.

Watch his review of Get Out

Like 2 minutes into the video, he starts talking about how he's definitely not racist and then shows this picture and talks about how he had tons of black friends growing up. He is literally autistic

youtube.com/watch?v=jmEFfaOMEGQ

what the fuck is this? hahaha

kek is this real or did he shopped himself into a random picture on google? because fuck he looks so out of place. everyone is close to each other, but he's on the outside.

Basically what this user said.Stuckmann used a photo of him and his black friends to prove how not racist he is.
It's baffling. People would have just believed him. No one was trying to call him racist anyway. You don't have to say that shit if no one is trying to accuse you of anything.

>poor little white guy

he's trying to subtly say he's part of a 'hood'.

Lol you're one angry jewboy.

Pretty much everybody does that. It generates more views

We don't. That's just underage newfags. Revenge of the Sith Plinkett review got a sticky when it came out. They do have meme value though

That fact that he has hundrends of his face doing different emotions saved so he can just choose one randomly and put it on the thumbnail of the video seriously triggering me

I doubt Chris watches many of the films he reviews

No I'm a few years younger than Chris, but largely a part of the same generation. I had an N64 and watched comic book tv shows and loved Star Wars and shit I just don't feel the need to talk about it all the time. In terms of a film review whether you're a fan or not isn't something you really even need to mention. If you do any more than one sentence is too much. It's just bad writing.

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>Even Jahns is better.

no one is as bad as that fuck

I mean, I liked the Nice Guys, but the second half was so muddled and tonally confused that I usually just turn it off after the porn club bit. I genuinely feel Cuckmann just has a hard-on for baby-goose

Nice Guys are actually cool

>I genuinely feel Cuckmann just has a hard-on for baby-goose

Yeah, it's pretty obvious he does. That video where he acts like the Driver and spoofs the elevator scene by stomping on a DVD of Dragonball Evolution was weaponised autism