Come and get Stuckmannized. Because If you don't watch Chris Stuckmann...

Come and get Stuckmannized. Because If you don't watch Chris Stuckmann, then you have awful taste in film and can't critique a film to save your life.

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youtube.com/watch?v=jmEFfaOMEGQ
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Maybe RLM will finally recognize him now that he's repeating their jokes?

Chris has, as he would say, 'Stuckmannized' me twice in the past. I used to be a really big fan and got to talking to him on Twitter. He even invited me over to his a couple of times XD!! On the first occasion, his wife was away at the Toronto film festival and he invited me over to watch the entire Nolan stretch of Batman films. Well, in Batman Begins, at the point where the Joffrey kid turns to Batman and tells him, "the other kids won't believe me", Chris paused the bluray and told me that the other kids wouldn't believe me either. He left the room, and when he returned he was wearing a poor imitation of Ryan Goslings outfit in Drive and he proceeded to rape me for five minutes. He was constantly chattering about how it would only be 5 minutes and that there was no way it could go in or outside of that time. After the 5 minutes were up, I wiggled out from underneath him and ran crying from his house. He screamed after me that he, "didn't have wheels on his dick", whatever that meant. The second time happened a couple of weeks later, he invited me over to finish watching the movies. At the point in the aeroplane in TDKR, he again paused the film and left the room. When he returned, he was dressed as Bane, complete with fake muscles. He stood over me and asked me if he was a, "Big Guy". I realised i was dealing with a psychopath at this point so I told him I thought he was a big guy. He hit me across the face and asked, "But am i a Big Guy for you?”. He motioned towards his dick, which he constantly referred to as “Zod’s snapped neck”, and told me to tell it to Zod’s snapped neck. I told his penis that he was a big guy for me, and he flipped me over and started talking me from behind, constantly moaning in a crude imitation of Hardy's Bane. And he was a good friend.

I hate Stuckboy.
I only kinda respect his "Enemy" interpretation. That's all. The rest is plebby.

imagine being as stupid as stuckmann

i give ur joke a 4/10

u get a 6.5

Chris Stuckmann isn't a film critic, he's a fanboy with a video blog. Not an insightful thought in his smug little head.

>make shitty reviews of shitty movies
>talk about anime sometimes because you like it
>get lots of suscribers
>get into nostalgia critic channel
>finally get to rotten tomaitoes
what is the next step of his masterplane? I see he is smart

OFC I forgot about the book he wroted

>gave Prometheus an A+
Sorry, I like Stuckmann, but this was just retarded.

>H-h-hey guys, look I-I-I'm totally not racist and have t-t-tons of black friends, s-see?

youtube.com/watch?v=jmEFfaOMEGQ (2:20)

>finally get to rotten tomaitoes

please tell me you're joking

NOT JOKING

I want to like him because he gave Silence an A+ but I hate him after the Kong review.

>C-

well he did say The Nice Guys should be best picture of the year so his opinion means nothing

>manchild picture of him holding a lightsaber plastered over the top

>tfw vapidly hollow feeling

You're trying too hard

Sounds hot

classic

It's a copypasta

newbie