Daily Chris Stuckmann movie critic thread

Daily Chris Stuckmann movie critic thread

Other urls found in this thread:

listchallenges.com/chris-stuckmanns-film-buffs-bucket-list-50
m.youtube.com/watch?v=PlfpyD_ePXk
youtube.com/watch?v=7qDJxdrWD5c
whathappenedtofuryofthefilmfan
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

He perfectly embodies the emasculation of modern America

What are his credentials?

script supervisor for BvS

Author of The Film Buff's Bucket List.

>Theaters around the world are dominated by comic book heroes, ice princesses, apocalyptic love-struck teens, and whatever masterpiece Pixar is rolling out. It’s clear that cinema is as healthy as ever. Oscar-worthy directors, indie geniuses and foreign artists are creating stunning, boundary-pushing work. Since the turn of the century, movie lovers have been enjoying a second golden age. But which films are the best of the best? What are the top movies since 2000 to see before you die? Chris Stuckmann, one of YouTube’s most popular film reviewers (70+ million views) gives us his best of the best! In his book debut, Stuckmann delivers his list of the very best 50 Movies since 2000 – with that style and punch that YouTube viewers have come to love. These are the films you must see before you die.

listchallenges.com/chris-stuckmanns-film-buffs-bucket-list-50

Rotten Potatos Top Critic
Author of Destry County Bestseller Book

Here's the cover.

I understand he included Terrence Malick, Apichatpong Weerasethakul, Paolo Sorrentino, Nuri Bilge Ceylan, Ken Loach, Michael Haneke, Gus Van Sant, Jane Campion and Mike Leigh...

>tfw the entire list is just imdb-core

Why the fuck do people watch this guy again?

>pirates of the carribbean
>no master & commander

loners spending time with a person of their level
also why would anybody buy his book?

I can't take anyone who likes the Hunger Games seriously.

One does not simply get to know Peter Weir's masterpieces

Is this guy fucking serious?

>also why would anybody buy his book?
Maybe they were trying to decide between buying Stuckmann's book, or Truffaut's.

abhorrent.

...

I bet Stuckmann's book is easier to read and more relevant to plebe

Forget it, Jake. It's Stuckmatown

what did he mean by this?

m.youtube.com/watch?v=PlfpyD_ePXk
>Chris self promoting in the comments

>70+ million views
> doesnt mention his most viewed video is that bvs one where he cries for 26 minutes about being teased for muh snapped neck meme

Your average /r/the_donald subscriber perfectly encapsulates the emasculation of modern america. Obese, raised by single moms, unemployed and with huge breasts.

...

If he grew up around blacks, he wouldn't be so thin-skinned to the point where he would cry about some joke made by RedLetterMedia.

>h-hey guys mind if I get here?

Did this guy really prove he likes niggers to review that movie?

kek

exactly.

...

is that a *BRAP* shirt?

i dont think he proved it in fact a load of people were laughing in the comments at the fact he stopped his review half way in to start dribbling about how black people are his family, show this pic to illustrate he knows what a black person is and talk about how racism hurts his fee fees.i wish i was making this up.

fucking TOP KEK saved!

> Theaters around the world are dominated by comic book heroes, ice princesses, apocalyptic love-struck teens, and whatever masterpiece Pixar is rolling out.
> In his book debut, Stuckmann delivers his list of the very best 50 Movies since 2000 – with that style and punch that YouTube viewers have come to love.

This makes me feel ill. Absolutely disgusting

just change name Jesse Bryce to Chris Stuckmann

or "he finally got stuckmannized"

What's the point of these threads?

You think Stuckmann will kill himself or delete his account if enough people on a Malaysian knitting forum keep bitching about him?

Did the hobbit make the list

this

My brother bought this a few months ago when we discovered him and liked his videos. He is beginning to regret it now.

dunno
I just want him to be sad or just make another 26-minutes-long video

considering he almost OD'ed after the zods neck fiasco, yes.

I guess you can be top critic on rotten vegetables with VERY LONG reviews

I'd hate to fall for bait but I need to know what you're talking about.

Tell that to CIA's crashed plane!

That cover REALLY makes me want an A&W cream soda

have you not seen the 26 minute video?

hes not very good at lying. he talk about how he should be happy because he has a great life, great wife and great "career" but its clear hes not so much talking to the audience but talking to himself-trying to convince himself his life is worth carrying on

also when he talk about this anonymous person having their dreams stopped because chris got teased its clear hes actually talking about himself but wants to hide it. he said that him getting teased "is stopping other people from persuing their dreams" he also said his reviews have saved "a frighteneing" amount of people from comitting suicide. again i feel this is projection-hes talking about himself.

Approved critic on Rotten Tomatoes and Reddit

youtube.com/watch?v=7qDJxdrWD5c

REMEMBER KIDS
If you happen to see Chris Stuckmann in your theater - piss him off, talk loudly, throw popcorn at him or whatever.

I've seen the video. You said he almost OD'd. What was that about?

Also I have no reason to doubt he has actually received messages from people saying his videos have saved them from suicide. His fans are that retarded.

>that lisp

they just saw someone who is 100 times dumber and more pathetic

he looked drugged up and on the verge of death. i would not be surprised if any more crtitsism and he wold go the way of that kony guy.

kek.

>that karate
I bet bullies were affraid of him

yep. they were afraid that he would knock himself out and they would get the blame for KO'ing an autistic child.

obligatory

why

>beat.

what did he mean by this?

>the two colossi are standing inches apart

And you thought SNYDER'S writing was homoerotic

>adult braces

>tfw you will never be sandwiched between the two clossoi

why live ;_;

*smirks tinely*

Chris has, as he would say, 'Stuckmannized' me twice in the past. I used to be a really big fan and got to talking to him on Twitter. He even invited me over to his a couple of times XD!! On the first occasion, his wife was away at the Toronto film festival and he invited me over to watch the entire Nolan stretch of Batman films. Well, in Batman Begins, at the point where the Joffrey kid turns to Batman and tells him, "the other kids won't believe me", Chris paused the bluray and told me that the other kids wouldn't believe me either. He left the room, and when he returned he was wearing a poor imitation of Ryan Goslings outfit in Drive and he proceeded to rape me for five minutes. He was constantly chattering about how it would only be 5 minutes and that there was no way it could go in or outside of that time. After the 5 minutes were up, I wiggled out from underneath him and ran crying from his house. He screamed after me that he, "didn't have wheels on his dick", whatever that meant. The second time happened a couple of weeks later, he invited me over to finish watching the movies. At the point in the aeroplane in TDKR, he again paused the film and left the room. When he returned, he was dressed as Bane, complete with fake muscles. He stood over me and asked me if he was a, "Big Guy". I realised i was dealing with a psychopath at this point so I told him I thought he was a big guy. He hit me across the face and asked, "But am i a Big Guy for you?”. He motioned towards his dick, which he constantly referred to as “Zod’s snapped neck”, and told me to tell it to Zod’s snapped neck. I told his penis that he was a big guy for me, and he flipped me over and started talking me from behind, constantly moaning in a crude imitation of Hardy's Bane. And he was a good friend.

We didn't know any better. I had just discovered his channel, saw his spiderman review and thought he had some interesting things to say. I got that hype rush that you get when you find something you think is cool, then when he did THE VIDEO I realized quickly that I was wrong about him. Honestly we both feel like such fools at this point, but at least the book was pretty cheap.

>YOU THOUGHT A PAR OF GLASSES COULD FOOL THE WORLDS GREATEST DETECTIVE

kek fuck the zods snapped neck joke these two pages have at least 20+ potential memes alone

You have my sympathies for going through such a horrific event.

he baited me with amazing "Enemy" analysis, his further reviews were pleb-tier

>challenging me isnt my idea of bravery

What did he mean by this

No really what did he mean

he meant

hes an autistic fanboy who wants both batman and superman in his ass

...

What's up with all the Redditors bashing based Stuck?

...

no u

>redditors

hello chris! shouldnt you be asleep or at least shagging your wife not up on tv obsessing what people say about you?

t. Reddit Letter Media

...

I hate the stupid pop culture cross over shirts he wears in a lot of is videos. Like this one in his latest video.

kek fuck you rlm and chris are both shit.

He's just a nerd leave him alone

its better than the jem and dbz ones he wears, those scream autismo.

My wife invited Chris to stay with us in New York thinking that this is what I wanted. Instead of saying no on the spot I let it go thinking it was one of those maybe one day kind of things. Soon enough Chris was making plans and I didn't have the heart to say no at that point. It did lead to me and my wife having a conversation about communication. We both should have stopped and thought about this. I decided to make the best of it and take a few days off. A few days were needed because this wasn't a two day thing, Chris ended up planning a 4 day 5 night retreat at my place. I wasn't up for that but he already booked it. I sighed and just thought I'd make the best of it.

During the trip Chris was a dark cloud, a very brooding presence in my happy home. We tried offering to go out and do fun things but he only wanted to see movies and do his reviews. He did a wonderful job of ignoring my kid who wanted to talk to him and even tossed my wife attitude when she asked him about his goals and spoke candidly about his future goals. He may not have noticed but this is what we got. He's the type of guy to make everyone miserable and then apologize for it and play the victim. I can't stand that type of person.

One of the issues that bugged the hell out of me was how financial unprepared Chris was to come to New York. For weeks I had told him to save up because New York was expensive. Prior to arriving he spent money on a bunch of Blu rays since he was now starting a collection. My wife left a message online telling him to keep saving for New York. Of course we had food for him that was the extension of our invite and I even went out and bought an air mattress. We didn't have money for these things since my wife was out of work but I put it on credit. I didn't mind , I even spot him for the imax tickets for Mission Impossible 3 he said he'd pay me back because he didn't have a card.

When he got back to Ohio he posted up pics of more blu rays he purchased and even a TV. This was like a slap in the face to us. We couldn't help but feel used. There's a way to handle an invite to stay with people and then there's mooching. Even if the TV was purchased by his parents, why didn't his parents give him money for his trip? That's what any parent would do no? make sure he's got enough and not be a burden to the people hes staying with?

Not surprised, he thinks hes the next kubrick but would make uwe boll look like an oscar contender.

It's not an issue of money, because I treat my friends to many , many things. It's how it all came together...you go back home and start posting pics of your new TV and your blu ray collections and I'm like...wait..how do you have those things now when in New York you could barely afford a metrocard? It was pure D-baggery and I kept quiet about it. I didn't confront him about it, the colors were already shown especially when he ignored us after his trip. Something he admitted to AFTER I made those videos on him. He admitted he ignored me because I was somehow a negative influence on his spirituality. I found that to be a hilarious excuse. I really understood him as a person after he said that.

See, Chris grew up under the same religious upbringing I did. So when he first closed his channel I knew what pressures he was under among his family and friends.. I offered some advice, I told him to make sure he made his choices for himself and not because he wanted to keep some friends. This is what made me think we were closer than we were. I assumed this and I let my guard down. I realized early on I didn't know this person whom I let into my house and this was all my fault. He used this as the excuse, that my advice to him, to think for himself, was why he ignored me and made me a bad influence. Meanwhile, the guy had already decided to not continue to live by his faith anymore.
And this is who Chris was in a nutshell, someone who blamed other people for things. He always projected things back and it was never an apology with him. It was always "I'm sorry YOU feel that way" stuff and I've seen him that way with plenty of other people , not just me.

>Daily Chris Stuckmann movie critic thread

This guy is so fucking bland and uninteresting I thought he was a metajoke. But he's real. His opinions aren't jokes.

I bet people from here unironically love his idiocy.

The guy had this chip on his shoulder , like, you couldn't talk to him about anything other than movies. . This one time, my wife was making casual conversation and asked him what he thought he was going to do (work related) and Chris's response was that he intended to move to California and work toward being a movie critic in L.A. so there was this pause...and my wife asks what how he planned to support himself or maybe go to college first to learn about the trade he wanted to jump into, with him being a "filmmaker" and all and his face just changed. I don't think he realized it but after that he pretty much ignored my wife and gave off a little attitude for the rest of the trip. He really was planning to move to LA and he planned to cling on to the Schmoes Know and all their contacts (this is what he does).

There was no room for casual conversation with Chris, no getting to know him. Everything was either about movies or something superficial. We were adults talking to a child who didn't know how to carry a real conversation and it was awkward. When it was clear Chris didn't want to talk about anything personal we pulled back and our conversations were much..much shorter. "

whathappenedtofuryofthefilmfan blogspot co uk/

>I bet Stuckmann's book is easier to read and more relevant to plebe

Does it have some things I'll like, and some things I won't like?

Is it, on the whole, pretty good?

Will I be glad I went and say "it's worth a watch"?

Sounds like a fucking shitstorm

he really did have Black friends because on that one webm showing his autistic tendencies he was play fighting(probably rping Dragon Ball) with some Black dude.

>friends
>assuming it wasnt just a group of black kids taking pity on some poor autistic manchild

why didn't he applaus Elia Kazan during the oscars?

>no peanut untouchable

can someone photoshop these black kids' faces to this image? preferably from HD 1080x youtube vid

Chris Stuckmann ladies and gentlemen

Literally 12 years ago. MI3 was from 2006. Chris was probably a fucking teenaged faggot autist.

*11 years ago, fuck.

ty and nice dubs

I think that's a mistake, MI3 wasn't even shown in IMAX theaters and none of the YT movie critics existed back then. I think he meant to write Mission Impossible 4 (which was 2011) because that's when Chris closed down his channel cos of his religion or something. In 2011 Chris was like 21 years old

Do you think he says thank you to those bulls after they fuck his wife?

they were supposed to fuck him

I think he writes a love letter to each and every moonlighter for fucking him and his wife.

I think his baby will be black. It's inevitable.

kek