/cric/

ashes series thread #53 (i think)
marsh selected for third test

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youtube.com/watch?v=PH6YuShNDzQ
offbeat.topix.net/slideshow/19013?utm_source=facebook&utm_campaign=19013&utm_term=20P3ML5QONA82P9H
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>12 late

Autism

5 NIL

actually this is thread #54 sorry lads

Absolute kino

Forgiven

IMAGINE being English. KEK

Do any of you actually play cricket?

Yep

...

youtube.com/watch?v=PH6YuShNDzQ
kino

>not a huge fan of cricket, but does all-nighters round his mate danny's house for the ashes as tradition

never played it in my life, not even in the nets at school

When the fuck is krautchan going to supply us with a fresh new set of memes

It's impressive that you still enjoy it. I feel like most who like cricket have at least played a little

Ylilauta memes are superiour, desu.

>Lives in a mortgaged 2 bedroom house several miles outside the ring road of a major city in Essex
>Successful and ambitious, but only within a very limited set of horizons (working in a high street bank, estate agent, etc.)
>Very proud of his middling success and jumps to put down others for their perceived failures
>Did 2 seasons as a rep out in Ibiza
>Drives an Audi which he got on finance from his job, gf drives a fiat 500
>Shops at Sainsbury's, which he considers upmarket. Special occasions merit a trip to Marks and Spencer
>Only books in the house are cookery books, mostly limited to Jamie Oliver. A couple of Gordon Ramsay books for special occasions
>Wears polyester suits to nightclubs
>Has an extreme short back and sides haircut
>Favourite place to treat his bird is at the top of the shard
>Uses hair products
>Favourite restaurant is Wagamama's
>Has a study which he often refers to as a 'man cave'
>Has a matching sofa set
>Owns a games console
>Owns a set of champagne flutes
>Has a pug/french bulldog
>Once considered buying a motorised tie rack
>Watches ITV and has a Sky subscription
>Eats turkey at Christmas
>Depending on his generation, he either went to the 'university of life', or read a meme subject at a plate glass/ex-poly.
>Isn't an Oxbridge reject because he didn't even apply for Oxbridge
>Has Bradley Walsh reaction images saved on his hard drive
>Spends his summer holidays in Spain, nabbing up a tidy deal online for a 3* all inclusive hotel in Menorca, flights included for £550 pp

rate my understanding of the quintessential deano lads

I played it in school a bit but it never impacted my enjoyment.

I faked off-games for basically almost all of secondary school since I was a sad loner and everyone hated me. Despite that I still enjoyed watching cricket, even if I didn't enjoy playing it with those people.

literally all my cousin except for the bit about uni

I was thinking more like this

le crazy goofy promo guy

kc tier

>calls Pakis "terrorists"

Sainsbury's is unironically equivalent or in some cases cheaper than Tesco nowadays, despite being twice the quality.

Sooner Tesco dies the better 2bh.

Time for some Coles vanilla ice cream with caramel topping lads

>that kid who had the most fundamentally terrible bowling action and literally bowled the ball into the next net over

>girlfriend is a trainee hairdresser, she would have been 17 and he was 23 when they first met

based

fumin lads

>That kid who bowled medium pacers but had a huge as fuck run up.

That shit still needs to be sold user. If Tesco/ASDA fall their substandard foods will permeate into the other supermarkets

>that kid who tried to be the designated spinner but did the full fast bowler run up anyway

goat icecream lads

>get a detention for calling someone a tory

I once got an afterschool detention for not doing my homework.

The teacher didn't turn up.

>That keeper that kept knocking the stumps over even though the batsmen were safely home and the umpire had to warn him to stop being a dickhead.

>That kid who knocked the stumps in the ground with the face of the bat and putting a big dent in it.

>that u/12's game where the povo club used metal stumps instead of real stumps and were not the size of regular stumps.

That's probably part of the reason why Sainsbury's is so much cheaper now compared to how they used to be. There's actually so much competitoin in the UK groceries market.

Expensive tier: Marks & Spencer, Waitrose
Slightly pricey tier: Co-operative
Normal tier: Sainsbury's, Tesco, ASDA, Morrison's
Cheap tier: Lidl, ALDI

Probably missing some 2bh.

Then you get like convenience chains like SPAR and stuff which are a complete rip off but just monopolise areas where regular chains won't go.

>that club that had the ground mowed but all the cut grass was in lumps around the ground and it rained the night before so you had to try and hit sixes to get any runs

>that coach that actually took U10 to U13's school cricket seriously and would threaten and insult you when not getting his way

Growing up relatively poor, single parent family the majority of that time, Sainsbury's was a staple. Their bargain bin cake sell off at 5pm was a welcome treat and their homebrand tomatoes, pasata, pastas, alright quality meats and stuff brings back good memories.

Marks & Sparks ain't even that expensive anymore where I live, they have great bargains on too.
Lidl>Aldi.
Co-op's Owen brand stuff, especially doughnuts have a really weird, offputting smell to me.

How much is a bottle of Hardy's (varietal range) down in Australia?

Only £4.99 here at my local paki shop which is usually cat piss-tier wine, but I hear things are pricey there. I would derive great amusement if aussie wine is more expensive in Australia than all the way across the world.

Australians will be insufferable if they win it 5-0
Englel can't let it happen

Honestly winning homebabby series isn't that impressive anymore.

Marks is super expensive to me 2bh, I look at any price tag in those places and I'm thinking wtf that's like +50-100% markup compared to normal, no way that's proportional to what extra stuff they put in.

I have the money for Waitrose but for me, it’s Lidl with meat from the butchers down the road.

That's in Manchester and Cardiff I might add.

elite choice

Just keep an eye out for their bargains is what I should've wrote desu.

They're like the John Lewis of supermarkets. I always saw them as an old Granny shop

england lost haha

Yeah Co-op isn't any better quality, it just seems to always be a bit pricey, although not Marks tier.

I've unironically never gone into a Waitrose. Don't seem to be around much where I've lived (midlands/north).

They should just standardize all pitches. Make them all AstroTurf instead. With a maximum boundary size no larger than the basin.

>that kid who would call for lbw every single time it hit the batsmen's pad

thanks richo lad

Used to have one close. They were quality for the odd posh cola or quality stuff like goose fat for the Christmas dinner spuds. On the whole you've gotta be minted for it to be your main though

East Mids here

I would say perhaps giving away teams soft advantages (as opposed to obvious/"hard" advantages) like allowing htem to choose the ball of choice, ie. dukes in Australia for English bowlers. But then I hear dukes are too soft to handle Aussie wickets.

Probably the best is just to allow away captains to always decide whether they want to bowl or bat first.

>that NEET who used to play cricket all day with kids 10 years younger than him

it was you wasnt it

do NEETS exist in india? I thought all of you had to work 10 hours a day in sweatshops to make ends meet

Sadly no
I'd give my left nut to go NEET and play cricket everyday

Everywhere there are people who have enough money in the family to last a couple of generations. The pretend to run some small business or freelance thing but they're actually just living off of their family wealth. There aren't NEETS in the western sense, but only difference is that their parents are providing for them instead of the government.
If magically Indians get as much wealth in their family as an average Australian family has everyone would just stop working and chill for rest of their lives.

>only difference is that their parents are providing for them instead of the government.

Pretty sure no one outside of Scandinavia can NEET out on government benefits unless they had some of autism diagnosis. Almost usually parent money. But I get the point that they pretend to run a business or something.

KEK, this is so true. Pretty common in Mumbai.

>the working class chubby kid with a slightly slingly action who bowled fast

offbeat.topix.net/slideshow/19013?utm_source=facebook&utm_campaign=19013&utm_term=20P3ML5QONA82P9H

>working class

private school kid detected

I'm one too 2bh.

>slideshow articles

nah

wish there was cricket on

>slideshow article

Southern fairy grammar school kid then.

Can't think of any other type of person who'd actually perceive another kid as "working class" while being a kid themselves.

at the time i probably didnt

anyone got a good highlights link for 5th day

think starc is actually going to have an alright career just bullying the fuck out of shit batsmen but he cant actually bowl

last night at the brothel this girl said i would have to pay her an extra 150 to eat my ass and i worked my magic on her and she ended up doing it for free. then i ate her out and she sucked my dick without a franger but then she tried to fuck me without a franger. crazy bitch.

>england player gets out

x6 that's ur highlights kid

was over in no time. Maybe a couple of Bairstow 4's.

i like to watch sides as they lose test matches

>having legal brothels
>not having brothels that everyone knows about including the police but they just pretend it doesn't exist and go anyway whilst being technically illegal

Australia sure is degenerate.

You'll have to go to your feared reddit. They always post the day's highlights.

I first heard Phill Collins in the air tonight in a video on efukt.

cheers m8

based degeneracy

>efukt
>2017

>2017
>not having such niche fetishes and pornographical tastes that mainstream websites aren't even on your radar

It was 6 years ago

The guy/guys running it fell for a blatant camwhore using an older woman posing as the Mum who's daughter was 'secretly' rubbing one out at the dinner table.

It's been top notch entertainment over the years though

budweiser doesnt taste that bad 2bh

WAY better than san miguel that '''beer''' is truly my nemesis absolutely vile

>BREAKING NEWS:Time magazine names anti-harassment #MeToo movement as Person of the Year

That is the latest news folks

This will have deep effects on the cricketing world.

I've never heard of this shit?

I don't why but I don't like Budweiser, even Kingfisher tastes better to me.

> that kid that took a leg stump guard but covered all the stumps anyway

>that kid who had to take a sleeping pill after being psychologically cooked by Anderson in the evening session.

It was Smith btw

>that kid who was always quiet and reserved among the lads and then later killed himself, revealing a childhood of abuse by his father and uncle

Even back in the 90s when Australia had the best test team in history, England usually managed to win at least 1 test away from home in the Ashes. These lads are fucking shite desu.

still haunted to this by this absolute shitter of a bowler who cleaned bowled me in school cricket

I wait for the day when we'd stop caring for the celebrities

>When you noticed your team mates were patting arse instead of back as the season went on when you took a wicket

Nothing escapes my eternal watch