/brit/

very smart man edition

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youtu.be/R1g07RpTPFE?t=1m44s
youtube.com/watch?v=QjLNw25XLVY
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shut up

like my willy

shop assistant and call centre are by far the worst jobs i've ever had

literally soul destroying

>tfw messed with major tom
what do i do now?

who here /0161/?

imagine being this upset over a dead bender hahahhahaah
have a fucking word mate

hmm yes this seems a very professional way to organise an interview with the President

fuck off tyrone

who here /0151/?

*has a word*

played a prank on my colleagues in the call centre today

call ground control

@80259118
not even giving you a (you), fucking dickhead

hmmm this really SPEAKS to me if im honest

wouldnt want to walk in america
no pavements, everything is spaced too far apart

0121
m*ncs can do one

Cara

the goal

women want dangerous men who are civilised. beauty and the beast syndrome. dont be the nice guy. be a dick, but a polite and eloquent dick.

can hear noises outside

could probably heem anyone here

she wants a bum from manny

>women want dangerous men who are civilised

So...Captain Kirk?

Alright lads, I've been away for a while.

Could anyone take some time to fill me in on the latest gimmicks?

Would appreciate it.

Thanks.

no excuses mate

dry your eyes mate
i know it's hard to take but god's mind has been made up
there's plenty more benders in the sea

Good win on The Chase

the goal

/01422/

but for real though that new content cop was really good

youtube.com/watch?v=L4KSZ1LLM-I

doing watch

>Alright lads, I've been away for a while.

>Could anyone take some time to fill me in on the latest gimmicks?

>Would appreciate it.

>Thanks.

I AM PEPE RIIIIIICK!

the absolute state of catholics

Fuck off GCHQ

>5 digit dialling code
disregarded immediately

What a smarmy twat. Yeah, we've all got problems mate

ama

*notices you*

alright mate!

*starts walking up to you*

*extends hand to give you a handshake*

how are you do-wHOAH!

*trips over and spills pint all over your short and crotch area*

oh shot, sorry mate

fuck you and fuck that prick who learned the value of hard work at a young age, not everyone is so lucky.

>6 million Ukrainians

...

catholics are white muslims

ah yes im sure everyone else can do this too

how do planes work?

mate I was in a war... a fucking war mate

say that to my face fucker

That's not a fedora you fucking mong.

Why's he drinking his own piss?

>one bed apartment

try sharehouse

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand MEMRI TV. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of Islam & current affairs in the Middle East most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Farfour's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - Farfour's personal philosophy draws heavily from Maliki literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike MEMRI TV truly ARE idiots - of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in the existential catchphrase "By Allah, behave yourself. I will give you a taste of my shoe." which itself is a cryptic reference to Islamic Golden Age epic, One Thousand And One Nights. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as MEMRI TV's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. And yes by the way, I DO have a shoe tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only - And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.

>rude language/borderline hate speech on the internet
hmm
*writes something completely unrelated down in my notebook*

well the estimates range from 2 million to 12 million so i think he's right to say that.

>tfw 23, engaged and looking to be a home owner by 25

It's not harder for us to do it than it was for them, it's simply a culture shift.

Marriage is far more risky financially speaking (for men) and women are more loose and less committed. It means young guys are just dropping out of life voluntarily. Those that actually want to go rear a family and own a house are totally able to do so if they put their mind to it, but the chances are that family gets decimated by divorce and the wife takes everything, so I don't blame them for choosing not to.

>his flat has separate bedrooms

Well la di fucking da mr. millionaire

take your pill

>the value of hard work

god picks them up and puts them down where they want to go

thats why its so expensive

is it morally questionable to use the disabled toilets at work for massive, pipe-clogging shits?

seems strange to take a definitive stance on the figures
but maybe he had reasons to come to that number

footy's on tonight lads

m.youtube.com/watch?v=afWjPym6Bl0

Love this

FONT FONT FONT FONT FONT

you can stay over anytime sweetie xx ;)

excellent post

deciding whether or not im going to torture myself to death by boredom too

OY vey stalin personally killed 600000 gazillion Ukrainians never forget the great Ukrainian shoah

>capitalism
>get job as CEO, £1 million golden handshake
>fuck the company up,thousands of jobs lost, get fired
>£1 million golden parachute

ahhhhhhhhhhh yes

>Waa give me money:[[

efficiency isn't about hard work, actually it's about rather the opposite. It's about doing the least amount of work for the same amount of value produced. That value is also decided by society, and not by you alone.

youtu.be/R1g07RpTPFE?t=1m44s

imagine going 250mph in a car lads

>2017
>Doesn't smoke cigarettes

Are you bullied, mentally handicapped or both?

>b-but it kills you

And? Was life a contest about who lives the longest?

>it's addicting!!!

It's not, as long as you're not under-aged and you can smoke in moderation

>it's....IT'S EXPENSIVE!!!

Who forces you to buy a pack every day, fucking peat-gavel

>maneuvered and begged

anyone who smokes should be castrated or killed

>OY vey stalin personally killed 600000 gazillion Ukrainians never forget the great Ukrainian shoah

youtube.com/watch?v=QjLNw25XLVY

Taste utter shite flavoured cigars are better desu

i enjoy a cig or 2 when driving. also with a pint.

also spliffs.

thats it though.

COUGHING FIT
PANTS OF SHIT

>wait all week for Thursday
>it's shit

HELLO

>i enjoy a cig or 2 when driving. also with a pint.

>also spliffs.

>thats it though.

Not sure what this post is trying to convey. Are you denying that stalin LITeRALLY killed 75% of the world population even though the population of the ussr increased under Stalin? Oy vey my great grandmother was starved just for being a Ukrainian

what were you expecting

>capitalism is efficient

*graduates from uni with STEM degree*
*gets job in lucrative firm*
*is forced to live in a danky apartment with 5 others and have literally no luxuries*

ahhhh yes

any operation dingo man in?

>Not sure what this post is trying to convey. Are you denying that stalin LITeRALLY killed 75% of the world population even though the population of the ussr increased under Stalin? Oy vey my great grandmother was starved just for being a Ukrainian

dont understand runts who lack the self control to not get addicted smoking

when i used to have friends and go drinking on friday/saturday evenings i'd have a cigarette provided by my smoker mate almost every time. sometimes id have two. this persisted for months until i stopped having friends. never got addicted

i also had a vaping phase when i was 17 and unbeknownst to me i was vaping pretty strong stuff. when i decided to stop i didnt have any kind of withdrawals at all

i've got a sore throat at the moment

people are being very rude about it to mummy may

very unfair

would be quicker if it wasnt on that shitty runway as well, bugatti BTFO

...

Love this pasta

...

One else else running through a pack a day?

Love me John players special

ciggies make you younger
youtube.com/watch?v=kXEJdcIXJto

surplus value extraction is theft

Imagine being such a virgin autismoid that having a few shots of vodka actually get you drunk

>work smart not hard

business idea: the state providing ration packs for students

the so called plan for this weekend

clear jelly is coming out of my bum
not sure why

my parents nab 20% of my wage via rent